Happy Birthday! Pretty standard children’s classic, and a holiday staple. Frosty’s animated by a magical hat, goes on some joyrides, then is promptly executed by dawn’s light. But he’ll be back next Christmas day! This idea could easily be turned into a horror movie. Watch it for the memories, to relive some of that lost childhood, or share it with your kids if you got ‘em. Spawned a sequel some 20 years later entitled Frosty Returns (starring John Goodman) which was mostly awful.
Poor Ralphie. All he wanted was that fucking Red Ryder BB Gun with a compass in the stock and this thing which tells time. It's the story every kid can relate to: coveting something so badly and knowing you can't have it ("you'll shoot your eye out!"). So you try everything; you try to be good, you try to hint at it subtly, you even get over your fears and ask the department store Santa for it. Still, nothing. And then...sweet glory. Based on the (somewhat) autobiographical recountings of author Jean Shepherd and his family, this classic film is an essential part of anyone's Christmas viewing. I saved the best for last.
The third installment in the Vacation series is also the quintessential standalone movie about staying home for the holidays. It covers all of the usual bases; putting up Christmas decorations, putting up with family, putting up with the stresses of work and bonuses and all the bullshit that goes along with it. It's one of those movies that grows with you year after year until it can do no wrong; it becomes perfect. One of the most laugh-out-loud funniest movies and enjoyable parts of the season, as far as I'm concerned. Chevy Chase's incredulous line at the end says it all: I did it.
This is not a perfect film. But it's a film I flock to year and year again, so that's got to count for something. Essentially Charles Dickens meets Beetlejuice, this modern adaptation of the oft told tale is probably the most consistently watchable as a whole. It's also pretty damn dark to boot. Elfman's score is an integral part of the charm, but Bill Murray holds his own too, along with Carol Kane, Karen Allen and Bobcat Goldthwait. At its heart, it's the same story you've heard repeated year after year, but it's the one I'll always cherish the most.
Just as the first one was hard to review, this one is equally difficult because it's essentially the same film. But that didn't keep me from loving it at 10, and I'm still the same immature kid I always was. Okay, so it's really improbable that the family would lose Kevin again (this time, as the title suggests, he's got the whole city to himself), but it's actually pretty fun and charming if you open up to it. You'd have to be a real Mr. Grumpy Pants to not get any basic enjoyment out of this film. That being said, I enjoy the gags, derivative as they may seem, and it's all quite goofy and harmless when you get down to it. There aren't many kids movies that feel the same way.
This is a tough one to nut. It's one of those movies that critics love lambasting, but it's also an essential part of my childhood. So this review is clearly slanted. Honestly, how could you be 8 years old at the time and not identify with the plight of poor Kevin McCallister? Invisible to his family, just wanting a whole cheese pizza to himself, and wishing he was left alone (oh god, I got it in spades). The booby traps in the latter part of the film are so much fun, I think it inspired a genre of children's film in itself. And of course, it all ends up being touching and tear-worthy at the end of the day (with one final note of laughter). This is just an awesomely fun movie period, and I'm proud to count it among my yearly Christmas celebration.
The perfect antidote to the holidays. Unabashedly vulgar, a crude, drunk, self-hating, sex-addicted, lowlife conman disguises himself as a department store Santa in order to gain access to the safe on Christmas. A wrench is thrown into his plans when he unexpectedly finds himself mixed up with a idealistic fat kid who believes he's the real deal. It's the role Billy Bob Thornton was born to play. Manages to be touching without ever hinging on sentimentality, if that makes any sense. I blame it on Chopin's Nocturne #2.
What would happen if you took the plot of Bad Teacher and placed it in the very capable hands of the writer and director of Juno? Well, you'd have a much better movie, for one. Former popular girl Charlize Theron now lives in shambles ghostwriting for a once popular young adult series and striving for some balance in her life. When she receives a "new baby" pic from an old flame, she decides to go back to her hometown and try to break up his marriage in order to be with him again. Believe me, it's a lot better than it sounds. Patton Oswalt is wonderful as the nerdy guy she once ignored. This is Diablo Cody's best work to date.
Alexander Payne (Sideways, About Schmidt) directs George Clooney (looking more and more like Cary Grant as he grows older) in this dramedy about a man coming to terms with his wife's imminent death. Faced with the prospect of being taken off life support (as per her will), it sends him on a journey across Hawaii, dealing with the emotions of friends and family and digging up buried secrets along the way. Even though the subject matter can be heavy at times, there are enough moments of well-placed levity to take you away from it all.