Ennio: The Maestro (2021)

AKA: The Glance of Music

A comprehensive look into the life, legacy and extensive career of Italian film composer Ennio Morricone. Known for so much more than the "wah wah" sound of Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns, his rich orchestral soundscape spanned the course of 500 compositions in 75 years, which is an incredible metric by any standard. Featuring in-depth interviews from contemporaries, the biggest treasure trove here is a newly filmed conversation with the maestro himself, completed shortly before his death in 2020. It's an exhaustive deep dive that revisits his career, decade by decade, landing on all the greatest hits. As the ultimate retrospective, it's impossible to cover the entire breadth of his work, but this is a good start. None is more deserving of such a celebrated tribute.

4 cinematic vistas out of 5

Piece by Piece (2024)

Hip-hop mogul and producer Pharrell Williams inexplicably tells his life story through a documentary presented entirely in animated Lego form. Why? is the question I kept asking myself throughout. Pharrell experiences the world through synesthesia, which is a way of processing everything through color in the mind's eye. It's your typical, cookie-cutter rags to riches story, with the usual rise and fall (ever so brief) before inevitably coming back stronger than ever. Nevertheless, it contains a wide range of songs from his musical career and it succeeds by marrying the colorful images and catchy songs together. However, at the heart of it all, it still feels like a cynical ego-driven vanity project. I probably would have enjoyed this more as a series of music videos.

2½ Lego McNuggets out of 5

Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard and Soft: The Tour (Live in 3D) (2026)

Over the past two decades, James Cameron has directed three movies about tall blue alien dudes...and this, a concert film/documentary featuring 24-year-old, 10-time Grammy winner Billie Eilish during the final leg of her 2025 tour. It's a dynamic performance full of spectacle and boundless energy, as the pop singer-songwriter bounds up and down the 360° stage with a swollen ankle. No matter what you think of her music, you have to respect the gumption and raw talent it takes to command a stage like that, while we observe glimpses of her working hard behind the scenes. It's the very definition of a vanity piece, but it's made with the fans in mind, so you know you're going to get a lot of footage of teen girls crying in the rafters. It's the closest approximation to a live concert experience I've probably ever had sitting in a movie theater.

Regardless of whether you're a fan or not, this is what true power looks like.

3½ bad guys out of 5 (duh)

EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert (2025)

While Peter Jackson is busy preserving The Beatles' legacy, Baz Luhrmann is doing his part for Mr. Presley. As part of his research for the 2022 biopic, Elvis, he came across newly uncovered archival materials and stitched them with audio recordings from the King himself to create this ultimate documentary and concert film, told through his own voice, some 50 years after his death.

What's great about this movie is how much it humanizes the man, because there is a tendency nowadays to tear down and reframe the past from a modern perspective, and it's become increasingly easy for people to cast aspersions towards people who are no longer around to defend themselves.

Interweaving interviews with behind-the-scenes footage, the film is at its best when it allows the raw performances to play out in full, and becomes frustrating when it chooses to chop up performances with vocal overlays. 

Digitally restored with enhanced audio, it looks and sounds great, which makes it a must-see for any fans. It features Elvis in his prime; always the premier showman, with a playful stage persona, he lives up to his reputation.

4 hip gyrations out of 5

Michael (2026)

The long-awaited, "official" Michael Jackson biopic finally arrives, and I was its biggest skeptic. Honestly, while I was entertained throughout, it does feel less than impressive. It sands down most of the edges, but still manages to hit all the biggest story beats and peculiarities, like his obsession with Peter Pan and exotic animals (complete with CGI Bubbles), various surgeries and the infamous Pepsi incident. It only tells about half of the story (from 1966 to 1988) and basically turns into a concert film at the end, but mostly focuses on Michael's strained relationship with his abusive father and how he finally manages to break free and come into his own. His story is larger than life to match his massive talent, but the music speaks volumes and remains as iconic as ever. Jaafar Jackson (real-life nephew to Michael) embodies his spirit, even as I was put off by the uncanny valley cast by all the makeup and prosthetics involved therein. Michael had a real gift that can't be denied, even to those who are dedicated to smearing one's legacy. While it can be argued that it's heavily sanitized and has no teeth, it ends on a high note rather than a low.

The movie: 3 nose jobs out of 5

The music: 5 moonwalks out of 5

Note: It's amusing to me that Mike Myers basically plays the same type of executive character here as he did in the Queen Bohemian Rhapsody biopic.

Young Washington (2026)

Sadly, this isn't a case of a Mel Brooks-style spoof starring Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman. Which would have actually made this pile of shit watchable.

Just in time for the semiquincentennial of the United States of America, this patriotic hogwash is a dry, stale series of historical reenactments steeped in 18th century propaganda. I know it's become the vogue thing to shit on history, especially when it comes to celebrating victory steeped in violence, but this is a very sanitized PG-13 version of events, full of divine intervention, which doesn't seem especially historically accurate. It follows young Georgie as he makes his way up the ranks of warfare, stopping just short of the American Revolutionary War, with the Declaration of Independence and his Presidency merely relegated to a footnote. I don't have any issues with celebrating key historical figures, but I do have a problem with lame nationalistic messages being passed off as light entertainment. This movie feels like school.

1 quarter out of 5

Supergirl (2026)

Supergirl deserves her due. Kara isn't just some carbon copy of Superman. She's a reluctant hero with a punk rock attitude. Unfortunately, it feels like she's been sidelined for most of her own movie. As the second film in the DCU, this doesn't feel part of a cohesive whole. The stakes are curiously low. Lobo is in it for some reason, but doesn't really justify his inclusion. Milly Alcock is super as the titular heroine, but by the time she's kicking ass in the suit, it's already fallen victim to a generic capeshit plot. It does exactly what you think it's going to do. No subverted expectations here. It lacks all of the darkness and emotional depth that made Superman stand out for me, which doesn't bode well for the DCU's future. It's too bad because I was rooting for her all along.

2 bastiches out of 5

Note: Next project in the DCU will be the limited series Lanterns this summer, followed by the theatrical release of Clayface, just in time for Halloween '26.

Toy Story 5 (2026)

The reason this franchise hits so hard is because it's clearly made by people who love film and have a fond remembrance of childhood. Each one has been about embracing and leaving behind the past, and as we get older, so do our memories. The farther away we are from those experiences, the harder it hits.

This one tells the story of how electronic devices are leaving the traditional brick and mortar toys in the dust and forcing kids to grow up too quickly. It's easily the most depressing entry of the series and makes me feel older and more obsolete than ever because it hits on an inevitable truth. It seems like it's on the verge of having something significant to say, but then bails out at the last minute. It's a shame. Can't disparage our technological overlords, I guess...

2½ Lilypads out of 5

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Boy, 2019 feels like a long way behind. This film features the vocal talents of Don Rickles, Carl Reiner, Betty White, Estelle Harris and Carl Weathers, all of whom are no longer with us anymore. It also predates COVID, which feels like simpler times. Film truly is a time capsule. It's important to preserve the past.

Likewise, this franchise understands the value of legacy while continuing to take risks and reinvent itself, branching out in all new directions. This film is about those left behind who must move on from the past in order to find new purpose. It does it in traditional Pixar fashion and succeeds with flying colors.

This would have worked better as the last film in the series, but, you know...

3½ sporks out of 5

The Death of Robin Hood (2026)

Did we really need a dark and gritty version of Robin Hood? This is basically Logan without the mutant healing factor. Once known for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, now the legendary outlaw slaughters everyone for their goods, rich and poor, old and young. Although the bulk of this film takes place on an island as he recovers from an attack, which was exceeding dull and monotonous to slog through. The problem was I just didn't care. The biggest struggle was trying to stay awake. I couldn't wait until it was over.

1 bloodletting out of 5

Disclosure Day (2026)

I have to take a moment to appreciate that it's 2026 and we're getting a new original Spielberg sci-fi epic with possibly one of the last original scores by John Williams. These days feel numbered. Spielberg has been obsessed with extraterrestrials his entire career. It feels like he's completing a cycle here that began nearly 50 years ago with Close Encounters of the Third Kind. In many ways, he's been working towards this film his entire life. The scale is smaller and more intimate, but the implications are timeless. We've all grown so cynical in this day and age, yet I admire how he makes magic and wonder seem possible again in the world, even if it only exists on the silver screen.

3½ cardinals out of 5

Scary Movie (2026)

Reboots are all the rage these days. Just as Scream called out the idea of the requel (both a reboot and legacy sequel), this "rebootiquel" aims its sights at cancel culture and poking fun at Gen Z. The Wayans are back, restoring their own particular brand of R-rated humor to the franchise. It casts a wide net, but their target is far too broad. Despite the plethora of modern and niche horror references and meta, self-referential humor, it doesn't feel as though it will age as well as the first two. It's funny, but never quite as funny as it should be. It's filthy, but not quite as filthy as it could be. And yet, when the humor hits, it hits HARD. I never wanted it to end. It's comforting to see the old gang and that early naughts humor back again, even if it's just a shadow of its former glory.

2-and-a-half-gay shit out of 5

Stop! That! Train! (2026)

What if a bunch of drag queens made Airplane!? Answer: It would've sucked balls. A runaway train is headed directly towards the eye of a "Stormaganza" and the conductor is taken out of commission, so it's up to the Glamazonian stewardesses and the President of the United States (RuPaul) to get them back on track. I'm a sucker for anything that follows in the broad footsteps of ZAZ, even when it's diluted by modern day sensibilities and wokeness, but this is such lazy, ill-conceived, low-hanging fruit. To turn a spoof of disaster flicks into something this disastrous takes a special kind of talent all its own. The result is something that feels far too safe and "inclusive" rather than poking fun at everyone equally. This feels like the absolute antithesis to Scary Movie.

½ a hot flashback out of 5

I Am Not an Easy Man (2018)

AKA: Je ne suis pas un homme facile

Okay, so I saw it. 

A chauvinist man bumps his head and winds up in a parallel universe where gender roles have been reversed and women are the dominant sex. Unlike the American remake where everything is an exaggerated stereotype, here the differences are more subtle, and it has fun with the premise rather than being overtly preachy. Some of these distinctions feel cultural, such as women being topless and sporting body hair, which seems rather European in nature. 

The reason this movie doesn't work is because if you were to reverse the gender roles back, it becomes a rather trite story that doesn't hold up to scrutiny. A lot of these outdated clichés went out in the '90s. However, it's not as one-sided as the remake makes it out to be, and it at least falls back on a clever ending. What I learned here is what a big difference 8 years can make.

2 pectoral landing strips out of 5

Ladies First (2026)

A misogynist hits his head and wakes up in a misandrist's world dominated by women, effectively inverting their positions. Once you get the joke that every single gender role is reversed, the plot doesn't get any deeper than that. What doesn't make any sense is that the men are all feminized and the women are endowed with masculine qualities, which contradicts the very message it's trying to put across, so I'm not sure what this film is trying to say. The endless moralizing on screen comes off condescending, exhausting and insufferable. And without any of the male empowerment roles that are afforded to women, the men here are all portrayed as either weak or evil, with no in-between. It might be considered problematic if the whole thing wasn't so fuckin' stupid. 

Remake of the French film, I Am Not an Easy Man, which I have no plans to see.

0 testicle bras out of 5