Deep Water (2026)

Aw man, this movie had such potential to be great. After a fire breaks out in the plane's cargo hold, passengers brace for impact as they land in the open ocean. What's worse than surviving a plane crash? Fucking sharks. That's right, we have our requisite Jaws knockoff to meet our shitty shark quota this year.

Razzie favorite Renny Harlin brings us one of the most horrific depictions of a plane accident I've ever seen, and this movie actually had me weeping with emotion before the CGI sharks showed up and ruined it. Hey, even a broken clock is right twice a day. Damn this stupid shark movie for making me care.

2½ cigarettes out of 5

Apex (2026)

An adrenaline seeker finds herself being hunted in the Australian wilderness. We've seen this kind of cat and mouse chase a million times before, but what this film has to offer are gorgeous scenic vistas filtered through Netflix's color degradation system. It's a decent survival adventure thriller that held my attention the entire time, mostly due to how photogenic Charlize Theron remains. I give this film credit for making everything look painful and realistic.

3 whitewater rapids out of 5

Over Your Dead Body (2026)

A murder plot goes off the rails when a few intruders unexpectedly drop in. This gory dark action-comedy is rather twisty, but contains a few good laughs and thrills. Paul Guilfoyle has a small bit part but really made the movie for me.

3 hammer times out of 5

Mother's Day (1980)

A low-budget Troma exploitation film from Lloyd Kaufman's brother Charles (not to be confused with Charlie Kaufman). It's a familiar setup; young people go traipsing through the backwoods and end up being attacked by hillbillies, only this time it's a mother and her two imbecilic sons. It plays out like a loose satire of grindhouse flicks like The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Last House on the Left, The Hills Have Eyes and I Spit on Your Grave, and was similarly criticized for all the same reasons. It's really not very good at all, but it has the benefit of being made in the '80s, so it just ages better somehow. It's attained cult status among horror devotees, but that's about the only thing going for it. 

A loose remake/reboot/whatever of the film was released in 2010.

2 mama's boys out of 5

Faces of Death (2026)

A woman investigates snuff films on the internet. Turns out a serial killer is going around and recreating old kills from the original video nasty series Faces of Death, the notorious pseudo-documentary featuring fake deaths and staged reenactments. (Not to be confused with Traces of Death, a mondo film which actually depicted real footage of fatalities.) Let's cut straight to the chase: This is bottom of the barrel trash fodder with zero redeeming value.

0 Reddit threads out of 5

Mortal Kombat II (2026)

This installment adds series staples like Kitana, Jade and Baraka to its roster, but it's the secret weapon of Karl Urban as Johnny Cage, a washed out movie star from the '90s, that proves to be the right move. He's the least convincing fighter of all of them and has more of an Ash/Bruce Campbell presence, but it changes the tone considerably. They lean even further into the nostalgia and ridiculousness, aiming more for game accuracy than realism. This one is better than the last one but not by much. It's extremely dumb but enjoyable in a way.

Throw on the MK techno theme song and you can have yourself a little party.

2½ split nut punches out of 5

Mortal Kombat (2021)

After Annihilation came and went, the film franchise was dead in the water. This reboot attempts to regroup the characters and lore from the video games and it's surprisingly decent, when it's not taking itself too seriously. As usual, the plot revolves around a tournament of champions between the Earthrealm and Outworld. You've got your classic roster of characters, including Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Raiden, Liu Kang, Kung Lao, Kano and Jax, and led by Sonya Blade and a new character named Cole Young (why?). They cast a bunch of unknowns to keep the budget modest, which gives it a direct-to-video feeling, but it has enough gory fan service and tongue-in-cheek humor to make it watchable and at least surpasses the 1995 film in terms of enjoyment (although that one has its own set of quirks and charms). I found it to be fun but largely forgettable.

2½ fatalities out of 5

Lee Cronin's The Mummy (2026)

A new take on the mummy legend, this original concept feels like it has more in common with The Exorcist or Evil Dead Rise, which was Cronin's last film.

After missing for 8 years, a young girl is recovered from a sarcophagus in a catatonic state, where her family tries to rehabilitate her at home. This film is darkly funny and sick and has that strand of Evil Dead DNA running through it. It's loud and brash, and the sound design is vicious, where you can feel every crack and crunch on the soundtrack. However, all of these elements don't necessarily make it a great horror movie; just really aggressive and intense.

2½ pedicures out of 5

Hokum (2026)

An American writer visits a quaint Irish hotel, inquiring about the honeymoon suite where his parents once stayed. From the director of Caveat and Oddity, this supernatural thriller has that same isolated feeling and haunting imagery throughout (and bunnies), which reminded me a bit of The Babadook. It's not as strong as McCarthy's prior works, but still makes for some compelling viewing.

3 servant bells out of 5

Normal (2025)

An interim sheriff arrives in the snowy town of Normal, Minnesota following the death of the previous sheriff. It's a small town full of idiosyncrasies and secrets, not unlike their neighbors in Fargo, North Dakota. It goes without saying it's a charming, violent action-comedy from the creator of Nobody and the John Wick franchise, that is not at all what it appears to be at first glance.

3 squeaky leather jackets out of 5

Protector (2025)

Milla Jovovich enters her Jason Statham era. She needs a new nickname now. The Mill? Jovie? I'll work on it. After her daughter is kidnapped, an ex-Special Forces soldier infiltrates a trafficking ring, in this Taken-like scenario. It's an ultra-violent action thriller that gets bloody quick, but it's full of weird pacing, slow exposition and poor acting skills. It gets laughably bad at times, but it's the kind of movie you could have a lot of fun with under the right influence.

There is a great, dark reveal at the end that saved it from POS status for me.

2 kill boxes out of 5

Busboys (2026)

This movie is D-U-M dumb. But also funny as hell, in that blatantly politically incorrect way that most comedies don't have the brass to be anymore. David Spade specializes in these white trash Joe Dirt knock-off roles, while Theo Von (more or less playing himself) goes along for the ride as two busboys who travel to Mexico in the hopes of being promoted to waiters. Yeah, it's retarded.

2½ hot plates out of 5

Balls Up (2026)

A couple of marketers develop the Balls Up, a condom designed to cover up the balls as well, and pitch it as the official condom of Brazil in the World Cup, before inciting an international incident that has them on the run. I'm sad that this came from one half of the Farrelly Brothers because it's a poor attempt at recreating the raunchy R-rated comedies of its heyday and it lacks any heart.

Buddy comedies usually build on the chemistry of its actors, but Paul Walter Hauser does most of the heavy lifting here. There's so much talent involved in front of and behind the camera, it's appalling how disastrous this turned out.

1½ minnows swimming upstream out of 5

Outcome (2026)

A grown up child star, obsessed with his public image and increasingly out of touch with the world, embarks on an apology tour to get ahead of a possible scandal. 10 minutes into this movie, I knew it was going to be high-strung and completely exhausting. Director Jonah Hill is clearly trying too hard to stay hip and relevant. Biggest laugh was a throwaway line during the end credits.

1 Google search out of 5

I Swear (2025)

A biographical story about a Scottish lad with a promising future whose life was derailed by Tourette's syndrome, a neurological disorder involving involuntary, compulsive behavior, outbursts of verbal tics and repetitive motor functions. Of all the terrible afflictions this world has to offer, TS is easily the funniest, but it's a nightmarish existence for those trapped in a body that doesn't listen well to directions. The most moving part of this film comes from the acceptance of those around him, and "never having to apologize" for things that are out of your control, although it's obviously harder to defend in practical application with polite company. It involves selfless compassion, understanding and a preternatural amount of patience, which I wouldn't quite believe exists, were it not based on a true story. This movie serves to spread education around the harsh realities of the condition; but as someone with a compulsion to do inappropriate things all the time, it also had me howling.

4 cunts out of 5