Minions & Monsters (2026)

I'll admit, I haven't been keeping up with the Despicable Me series. This is the 7th overall film in the series, and the 3rd prequel spinoff to revolve around the Minions. I hate these yellow assholes with a passion. However, this one takes a slightly different tack and revolves around an alternative history of cinema, set in 1920s Hollywood. Since these pee-stained pricks only speak in nonsense gibberish anyway, it essentially takes on the feeling of a silent film. However, what had such great potential as a premise (for the first 15 minutes anyway) quickly devolves into colorful, low-hanging fruit to appease small children. It's a shame because as a tribute to early cinema and with fun film references peppered in for cinephiles, it elevates it from another trash entry but still fails to break out of the mold.

2 mini Cthulhu out of 5

Ulysses (1954)

AKA: Ulisse

Kirk Douglas stars as Ulysses, king of Ithaca. Punished by the gods for his role in the Trojan War, he is sentenced to wander the seas, continually knocked off-course and deprived of his memory. Meanwhile, his wife Penelope hangs on to hope that he's still alive, whilst fending off a league of suitors at home. This Italian-American co-production is a serviceable, condensed version of Homer that hits on many of the highlights, including the cyclops Polyphemus.

You know what I miss? The '50s version of buff, which still seemed attainable.

3 Trojan horses out of 5

The Odyssey (1997)

Odysseus sets off with his crew to conquer Troy at the beginning of an epic fantastical adventure set in a world of gods and monsters. What I like about this adaptation is that it tells the story in chronological order (unlike Homer), which makes it easier to follow along on the trials and tribulations of its hero's journey, and also helps to hammer home how long and plodding this voyage lasts. I would argue this two-part made-for-TV movie has a bit too much fluff added to pad its 3-hour runtime, but it's probably the most faithful regarding its content. Unfortunately, you can feel the constraints of the budget which hinders its overall vision, while the cheesy special effects easily date it.

2½ Nobodies out of 5

The Odyssey (2026)

Two things:

1) This is the best version of Homer's Odyssey ever committed to film.

2) This is far from the best telling of this story.

No one was less excited about this movie than me. Even with Chris Nolan at the helm, a 3-hour epic based on a 3,000-year-old text is a big ask. I'm glad to be proven wrong. Matt Damon leads the big budget, all-star cast as Odysseus. Following a 10-year battle in Troy, it details his 10-year journey to get back home to Ithaca, told confusingly out of order. It's Greek mythology conveyed through grounded realism, captured practically for the most part on real-life locations. In order to emphasize its epic scale, it's also the first feature to be shot entirely on 70mm IMAX film, which comes with its own set of caveats. I found the colors on screen to be a bit drab and the sound mixing is absolutely horrendous. I watched it in IMAX, and for half the film the entire theater was rumbling, making it even harder to decipher dialogue. It's an all-out assault on the senses, although it makes the quieter moments stand out. No one would ever accuse Nolan of being a bad director, but he tends to be a little self-indulgent at times. However, there are moments here where you are held at rapt attention. As a fan of cinema, you owe it to yourself to check it out on the biggest screen possible, even though I still maintain it's far from perfect. 

4 gods defied out of 5

Note: If you enjoyed this modern retelling, I highly recommend The Return, which focuses on the final part of this story. 

Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026)

Following the big spoiler at the end of No Way Home, Peter Parker is going through some pretty dramatic ch-ch-ch-changes. Meanwhile, he faces off against a powerful adversary who appears to be able to jump into different human hosts at will. It's your traditional comic book story involving heroes struggling to fulfill their purpose while overcoming great adversity, except this time everyone is firing on all cylinders (Punisher included). As always, humanity defines these characters, and at the heart of it, it's a warm, gentle story. I have nothing cynical to add. This is just a great Spider-Man adventure.

4 premature webshots out of 5

Note: Next up for our crew? Avengers: Doomsday, in time for Christmas 2026.

Jackass: Best and Last (2026)

Fun fact: I've seen every Jackass film on opening night since the first one was released in 2002. I love this stuff. It hits on a universal truth. It's only funny if it doesn't happen to you. You can't go into a movie called Jackass expecting high art. That's your first mistake. Once you meet it on its own level, you can enjoy the shenanigans. If you laugh, you don't get to claim the moral high ground.

We're all getting fucking old. None is more true than for the Jackass crew, who has put their bodies through the wringer over the past 25 years. Now in their 50s, they reflect back on their career highlights and lowlights, with a showcase of old footage and new. Disappointingly, it becomes a glorified clip show, with the new content being minimal and played a bit too safe. It's mostly a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but the Jackass farewell deserved better. 

This is far from the best that Jackass has to offer. Jackass Forever was a much better send-off for this crew. 25 years goes out with a whimper, not a bang.

2 peanut butter rectal exams out of 5

This is the Tom Green Documentary (2025)

Tom Green takes hold of his narrative by directing his own documentary, tracing his humble roots as a teenager interested in late night comedy to a modest rap career while making skateboarding videos. It's an interesting look into his life as a disruptor and pioneer of bizarre alternative comedy, from a grassroots public access show in Canada, to MTV, movies and beyond. What becomes immediately apparent is that there was always a method to the madness. It's a bit of a vanity show, cherry picking clips that reflect favorably on his career, but at the cost of getting an all-access pass to the behind-the-scenes stories. It sums up a once-in-a-lifetime period of avant-garde and punk rock comedy in the '90s and early aughts that wound up defining a generation, inspiring the likes of Jackass, Tim & Eric and The Eric Andre Show in his wake and innovating the podcast format with his early internet radio shows.

 

3 Slutmobiles out of 5

The Contestant (2023)

In 1998, Japanese comedian Tomoaki Hamatsu (better known as Nasubi) took part in a televised challenge requiring him to live alone in a small apartment, isolated and cut off from society, with no clothes or food, subsiding only on winnings earned through magazine mail-in sweepstakes, with the goal of amassing one million yen worth of prizes. Having viewed the original footage from Susunu! Denpa Shōnen for myself, I can confirm it's even more gonzo than you can imagine. It's an early example of extreme reality TV exploitation, exploring all the morality and grey areas contained within, although I like to see it more as an enormous triumph of raw determination and a celebration of the human spirit. Honestly, I'm not living too far off from this right now.

3½ bags of rice out of 5

Jeff Ross: Take a Banana for the Ride (2026)

Jeff Ross, the "Roastmaster General," tells the story of his life in this one-man show performed live on Broadway. And boy is it a tough one, filled with death, tragedy, cancer and alopecia. The one true throughline is pain, but Ross is able to weave the humor masterfully through the tragedy, resulting in laughs and tears in equal measure, and makes himself vulnerable to the audience before turning the stage on them. This is a masterclass in empathy and selflessness and looking for the "good" in everything, even when it doesn't seem to exist.

3½ bruised bananas out of 5

Are We Good? (2025)

A portrait on Marc Maron, a neurotic, embittered comedian who deals with the loss of his partner, filmmaker Lynn Shelton, during the pandemic. Maron has always had a dark, sardonic disposition when he bares his soul on stage, but here he struggles to make light out of his grief. He comes off disagreeable and cantankerous most of the time, which makes him hard to stomach, yet is completely understandable given the circumstances, and honestly makes him feel more relatable than other personalities who have nothing original to say.

3 litter boxes out of 5

Brats (2024)

Being a child of the '80s, I found myself really invested in this documentary. It's a fly on the wall journey, following actor Andrew McCarthy attempting to reunite with his old colleagues after thirty-some years. It opens up about their uncomfortable relationship with the term "brat pack" (coined in 1985 as a play on "rat pack") which stigmatized many of their careers (although Rob Lowe and Demi Moore escaped relatively unscathed). As an outsider who missed that phenomenon by a few years, I never looked down on the brat pack label. In fact, I purposely sought out all of those films. And after having watched this, I want to go back and see them all again. The 1980s are like comfort food to me. I kind of wish it had been a reunion for all of them, rather than just Andrew's story, but there is some catharsis in following that personal journey. Sad that Molly Ringwald declined and Judd Nelson didn't end up being a part of it, since he seemed to be the one who was most affected by it in older interviews.

3 scathing articles out of 5

Pamela, A Love Story (2023)

First of all, I'm glad that this documentary "went there." It doesn't really shy away from any of the ugly parts of her life and embraces all the embarrassing details. I was also surprised how much nudity they included, since you figure at some point her sons would watch it (I was very relieved that they seem to have turned out well, despite all the shit they went through). That being said, with how raw and open she is about everything that happened to her, it's still shocking to me how a sex tape effectively ruined Pamela's life and career, yet became a stepping stone for the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. I feel like that's the most fucked up thing; that she never really got her due or was able to build and control her own image (similar to Marilyn Monroe, I suppose). I was actually very moved and proud of her for headlining Broadway as part of her "redemption arc." It's inspiring how she pulled herself together and still seems keen on working in the arts. She definitely needs more opportunities to keep her busy and stop her from regressing into more empty marriages.

3 centerfolds out of 5

Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie (2023)

Michael J. Fox was dealt a bad hand. Diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1991, he kept his condition to himself for almost a decade, when he became a public advocate and eventually created his own foundation for Parkinson's research in 2000. And the poor guy has been hanging in there ever since.

I put this off for awhile, but it's a really great doc. It doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of his condition, but treats it with empathy, kindness, humanity and dignity. It's also really fucking funny. I guess you have to have a strong sense of humor in order to survive that kind of tragic day-to-day struggle.

The way they combined old film/TV footage and outtakes in order to tell the story of his life was brilliantly put together. I've been a fan since Family Ties and the Back to the Future films, so there was a lot of history there. I feel so bad for the man, because you can still see the same light shining from behind his eyes; he simply can't control his movements. And all those falls and breaks and pins inside him...it's just heartbreaking to fathom. Selfishly, all I can think about is how much my life would be improved if I had a partner like Tracy in it. Despite all the bullshit he's had to endure and everything he's suffered for the past 30+ years, he's still pretty lucky to have someone like that by his side.

3½ takes out of 5

Val (2021)

Throughout the course of his life, Val Kilmer shot hundreds of hours of home movies and personal footage, spanning 40 years. After being diagnosed with throat cancer in 2015, these archives were uncovered and assembled into a documentary told through his own words and narrated by his son, Jack Kilmer.

A promising young man with a playful persona, Val was a misunderstood artist typecast in a number of roles who lived life to the fullest while struggling to find his voice. It's a raw and intimate and deeply reflective journey ultimately ending in tragedy, but there is great power in having a voice and being able to tell one's own story, even when ironically it has been cruelly taken away. 

3 top guns out of 5

Chris Hemsworth: A Road Trip to Remember (2025)

After being diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's, Chris takes his dad Craig Hemsworth on a trip down memory lane through the Northern Territory of Australia as a bonding exercise and an effort to recapture the past, since it's been proven that reminiscence therapy can slow down cognitive decline. The subject matter in itself makes this inherently sad, even as it celebrates a life, while Chris confronts his own genetic predisposition towards the disease. Although it can all feel so fruitless at times, there is also the cynicism that this type of experience can only come about through a publicly funded project. 

3 Crocodile Hunters out of 5