Tuner (2025)

A virtuoso piano tuner with sensitive hearing and pitch perfect ability utilizes his specialized skill set to crack safes after he's accidentally recruited by the wrong type of people. It's a very simple premise, but extremely charming in the way it plays out, owing in no small part to the chemistry between the two young leads. It feels like the type of caper film that could have been made in the '70s, no doubt due to Dustin Hoffman's captivating presence in the cast.

3 tuna fish out of 5

In the Grey (2026)

Guy Ritchie movies bore me silly. It's a lot of bravado and bluster wrapped up in a glossy package of pretty actors posing like models. They seem to exist primarily as an excuse to employ Henry Cavill. This one is a formulaic heist thriller that amounts to an hour and a half of setup for 15 minutes of payoff. 

½ a Faraday cage out of 5

The Furious (2025)

AKA: Huo zhe yan (火遮眼)

A mute father teams up with a journalist to take on a corrupt criminal empire after his daughter gets kidnapped. The laziest way to garner sympathy from an audience is to put a young, innocent life in danger, so I can't quite explain why this movie feels fresh. Like The Raid before it, it takes enormous swings with brutal martial arts, stylish choreography and nonstop pulse-pounding action from start to finish. It's the kind of movie where you walk out sporting an erection because of how much adrenaline is coursing through your body.

3½ bloody pulps out of 5

The Punisher: One Last Kill (2026)

Frank Castle wrestles with demons of his past and forced to go on a violent spree set to some heavy metal needle drops in this one-shot, standalone, hour-long Marvel Television Special Presentation. Mostly satisfying, after sitting through the lackluster second season of Daredevil: Born Again. Jon Bernthal is compelling to watch as the PTSD-addled veteran with nothing left to lose. Funny that he also co-wrote and starred in a thematically similar one-off episode of The Bear that unfolds in much the same gritty, guerilla-style fashion (which makes it especially bizarre that they were both released within a week of each other). It's a very simple story and I appreciated that it wasn't moralistic or preachy in any way, although it does make me feel about as empty as Frank Castle. It neither moves the needle nor overstays its welcome, but mostly functions as a bridge to The Punisher's appearance in the MCU.

3 headshots out of 5

Masters of the Universe (2026)

I should preface this nut by stating that I don't have a very strong connection to the He-Man and the Masters of the Universe franchise. As with G.I. Joe and Transformers, it was a cartoon designed to sell a toy line. I never really found the premise too deep. Aside from owning a single He-Man action figure as a kid, I have no nostalgic ties to the character or the canon, which makes me the perfect guinea pig to test out the new direction of this latest reimagining.

Young Prince Adam is, by all accounts, a pussy (not unlike Cringer). When the evil Skeletor threatens Eternia, his royal parents send him to Earth (not unlike Kal-El) along with the Sword of Power, which he promptly loses. 15 years later, he tracks it down and returns to claim his birthright. So far, so good, right?

This movie is frustrating because of how much it does right. Visually, it looks amazing. The scale is epic, rich and powerful. The action scenes are dynamic and exciting. The soundtrack is fucking rocking, courtesy of Brian May from Queen (lots of nods to Highlander). However, tonally, it's weird and all over the fucking place. Everything is treated as a joke. Adam never really changes; even when harnessing the power of Grayskull, he's still the same loser except with half the wardrobe. Teela is the one to show him the ropes and assumes the position of power over him and her father, the drunken and disgraced Man-At-Arms. Skeletor looks way better than his 1987 representation yet still feels hugely underdeveloped. Evil-Lyn is hot and that's about the extent of her role.

What I can't forgive is the neutered characterization of Adam (as a modern day he-man in touch with his emotions), even as it attempts to address and criticize toxic masculinity. But it's simply not fun. In every other way, it blows the 1987 film out of the water. Yet it could have been so much better. Its sole purpose for existing seems primarily intended to bait Doc and Neg back out of hiding.

2 fistings out of 5

The Mandalorian and Grogu (2026)

It's been 7 years since the last theatrical Star Wars release. Since then, there have been 7 different live-action Star Wars TV shows released on Disney+, including The Mandalorian. Set several years after Return of the Jedi, the series follows bounty hunter Din Djarin and his apprentice Grogu (colloquially known as "Baby Yoda") in their adventures across the galaxy. The first two seasons were great, and felt like a return to the raw and gritty side of Star Wars seen in the original 1977 release. Their further adventures were stitched between The Book of Boba Fett (technically season 2.5) and season 3, at which point it burned through its goodwill and felt like there was no real direction for the future. After taking a few years off, creator Jon Favreau brings us this self-contained standalone story, which could easily be dubbed season 4.

Grogu (50 years of age) still hasn't grown up and suffers from a distinct lack of character development, which mostly hinges on being cute. And cute he is. The puppetry and practical effects are to be commended because it feels like it could have been crafted in the '80s. Meanwhile, Mando is a man of few words and even fewer facetime. The duo are sent on a mission to retrieve Jabba the Hutt's son and feature in largely generic set pieces. Grogu is by far the more interesting character and he shines whenever he's on screen. The best part is easily a wordless sequence that takes place late in the film. In the end, we still know nothing about these characters and we are no better for it. Still, I enjoy this stuff more than the self-seriousness of Andor. This is the way.

3 plot armors out of 5

Backrooms (2026)

Kane Parsons was only 16 years old when he created his found footage web series The Backrooms, based on the popular creepypasta. Now at 20, he adapts his own material for his first feature film, which retains its grassroots design.

It's interesting how internet-based folklore (such as Slender Man) has steadily creeped its way into our collective subconscious, but it tends to keep building on itself. Taking its origins in the 1990s and early 2000s, the idea of glitching through reality into a space "in between" that stretches out infinitely is pure nightmare fuel. It has that uneasy feeling of being lost in the outer boundaries of a video game, and the ensuing claustrophobia and panic that sets in when you realize there's no escape. This is spooky stuff that hits at a primal level. This type of labyrinthine fever dream was also recently explored in Exit 8.

This movie is quite the experience. It's almost as if someone mainlined Twin Peaks season 3 directly into their veins. A lot of bizarre, nonsensical stuff that can't be explained and held together by dream logic, haunting imagery and loose strands of plot. It is truly eerie and unpredictable. I can't get enough of this shit. It leaves so much to the imagination. A simple, back to basics horror concept that can be explored ad nauseam, yet it merely scratches the surface. Just don't wander in too deep or you might get trapped in some rabbit holes.

4 l̶̛̛͖̮̞͉̽͋̈́̀͊͛̐̅͂͘̚͝i̸̡͖̗͉̽̇͒̏̈́̒̐ͅm̶̛̩̖̗͇̺͕̹͙̜̜̺̳̎͑̌̀͛͂̀̈́̇ͅi̶̛̙̳̙̘̭̭͇̻̲͎̒̀̊͑̎̿̿͒̋̑̄n̵̯̳̺̲̔̋͂̈̊̆̇̍͗̿ą̶̨̰̹͚̖̈́̑̐̉̀̂̄͑͗̕͠ͅͅl̵̡͙͇̯̤͇͔̮͍̪̦͒͌̔̈́͗̾ ̵͚̭̈́̌̏̓̿̽͊͌̾͑̓̚͝s̸͔̳̱̖̖̜̓͒̂͊̉͜͝͝͝ͅp̵̨̨̡̜̟̹͔͆͋̅̅̽̾͗̇̽̈́̋̚͘a̷̯̟̩̹̦̥̥̯̍̈́̄̒͛̈́̓͌̑͗̂̒͝c̷̨̧͕̝͓̬̠̫͎̟̖̼̪̐ͅę̶̨͔͉̯̰̬̲̹̰͍̫̦̆͒s̴̢̨͇͇̙͓̞͇͖̞͖̰͍͝ out of 5

Passenger (2026)

A haunted figure who roams the side of the highway stalks a young couple who have recently dedicated themselves to life on the road. It's pretty rote, straightforward horror which held my interest but is easily forgotten by day.

1½ St. Christopher pendants out of 5

Obsession (2025)

Bear loves Nikki more than anything in the world and makes a wish upon a cheap novelty trinket for her to love him more than anything in the world, despite not having any romantic feelings towards him. Similar to a monkey's paw or a Zoltar machine, it's a magical totem where your greatest dream can quickly spiral into a nightmare. It explores the sinister side of relationships, becoming a question of agency, where one party has no say in the matter. Inde Navarrette plays the inverted object of affection and it's her creepy physical presence and subtle facial expressions bathed in shadows which make for a highly effective horror premise. The sound design is solid, while the movie itself is lit very sparsely, leaving much of the finer detail to the imagination.

4 wish willows out of 5

Mother Mary (2026)

Mother Mary is a pop artist at a point of crisis, who goes to her seamstress for a new look. The way this movie unfolds is exasperating and a test of divine patience as the two speak cryptically with one another while the audience struggles to keep up. There's a bit of a Lynchy thread running through it, but don't get your hopes up. It's a mystery and a ghost story of sorts, yet it's the imagery that sticks in my head even though it defies logical narrative sense. Anne Hathaway sings all of the songs and performs her own choreography, which is the one bright spot in all this mess, but it belongs to a better movie.

2 halos out of 5

The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026)

It's weird to think how 20 years has passed by in a blink. Feels like the first movie barely came out, now suddenly it's cemented as a 'classic.' Everyone returning from the original has aged two decades but still looks great. Then you realize you've aged the same and you look like shit. It's a sobering fact.

Lots of things have changed in the past 20 years. Print media is obsolete, other roles have been made redundant. You get a few good character moments strewn here and there, but for the most part it's wearisome and lacks bite.

2 HR complaints out of 5

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

A journalist applies to be a personal assistant to the domineering editor at a fashion magazine, where she's confronted with impossible standards and forced to change herself to fit the ideal and try to beat her at her own game.

What annoys about this movie is that it hinges on Anne Hathaway playing a "fat" girl with no style who is treated like shit until she decides to wear the right clothes and then suddenly she's "beautiful." It's fucking stupid. I've never understood fashion and I've never cared about it. A bunch of pretentious gits. But Meryl Streep is so good in the role, you can't help but enjoy it for what it is.

2½ clackers out of 5

Is God Is (2026)

Twin sisters, each disfigured in their own way, are quested by their dying mother to seek out the man who made them this way. It's an old fashioned revenge story paved with quirky characters and oddball sensibilities on their journey to self-discovery. It's so much better than I expected going into it.

3 socks filled with rocks out of 5

I Love Boosters (2026)

"Boosters" are shoplifters who steal designer clothes and sell them at a discount price. However, whatever you think this movie is about, it isn't. 

Filmmaker Boots Riley (Sorry to Bother You) crafts another surreal, absurdist high concept comedy with shades of slapstick, satire, sci-fi and horror, which defies any easy classification. It's bizarre and demented and unpredictable in all the right ways, but it also earns fashion points for being original and bold.

3½ skewed floors out of 5

Sorry to Bother You (2018)

A deeply weird film that seems like a shame to spoil in any way. It involves a broke man who becomes a telemarketer and tries to get ahead in the industry. Director Boots Riley has some pitch black sensibilities and this film is dripping in irony. Blending elements of surrealism and science fiction, you might not know where the hell it's going, but you'll certainly know when you get there.

3½ white voices out of 5