Borderline (2025)

A psychotic fan breaks out of prison in order to propose to his celebrity crush.

I knew this black "comedy" was pure garbage 10 minutes in, but I still tortured myself for the remaining 85 minutes thinking maybe it'd redeem itself. Spoiler: It did not. And what do I have to show for it? A nut. I must have a screw loose.

0 pop duets out of 5

Vicious (2025)

A troubled woman is "gifted" a box. Three things go inside. Something you hate, something you need, something you love. "What goes inside, only you decide. We and I will know you lie." I wish the instructions were clearer. I loved the atmosphere and premise behind it, but the results are unsatisfying.

2 little piggies out of 5

Relic (2020)

A woman with dementia wanders off, causing her family to move back home with her. This is slow-moving horror that will test your patience as a very apparent metaphor for the condition, which devastates all that it touches.

2½ patches of black mold out of 5

Saccharine (2026)

True horror is the kind that is most relatable and rooted in a harsh reality.

A chubby girl struggles to lose weight. She's stuck in a vicious cycle and lack of self-control. She toys with an experimental new drug which promises to change her life. Without enough money to buy it, she has to source it herself.

Yes, Stephen King already explored this idea in Thinner, but it feels more relevant than ever these days. There is so much more to this body horror concept that is deliciously satisfying, but it's best not to spoil your appetite.

3½ stomach grumbles out of 5

Other Mommy (2026)

An 8-year-old girl is pursued by a supernatural entity resembling her mother who tries to make her way into her heart. What an intense shot in the arm for horror this is. It reminded me of vicious films like It, Smile and Evil Dead Rise. 

3 infinite ball pits out of 5

Insidious: Out of the Further (2026)

We finally get a new story in the series that distances itself from the prior films, although Lin Shaye returns to help guide the way. We're now on film #6, but this series wants to have its cake and eat it too, by tricking viewers into forgetting the least palatable entries and only remembering the good ones.

Gemma is a dental hygienist dealing with oral horrors and old cronies as she discovers a latent talent for accessing the unknowns of The Further. At this point, every movie is starting to feel the same, but I enjoyed this more than the last two films, although it's become so formulaic at this point and basically borrows all of its most memorable elements from A Nightmare on Elm Street.

2 pillow forts out of 5

Insidious: The Red Door (2023)

Serving as a direct sequel to Insidious: Chapter 2, as well as series star Patrick Wilson's directorial debut, we join the Lambert family nine years later as they still struggle to move forward from the events of those films. Needless to say, the usual shenanigans occur. I should state, while I enjoyed the first two films, each Further installment has been a slog to sit through. It's best to call it a day.

1 MRI nightmare out of 5

Insidious: The Last Key (2018)

The first Insidious movie was a great horror film. The problem with a franchise like this is that the longer it goes on, the more predictable it becomes, to the point where you can anticipate every horror beat and jump scare. That doesn't mean it's not enjoyable; just that it has nothing new to offer. That seems like a perfectly apt description for this movie. It will never be the first movie, which felt fresh and new, it feels like entry #4. This one revolves around the psychic character (Lin Shaye), reckoning with demons from her past. Confusingly, this film is a direct sequel to Insidious: Chapter 3, but also a prequel to the original.

1½ whistle blows out of 5

The Whisper Man (2026)

A serial killer is on the rise, apparently emulating another serial killer from 30 years earlier. Meanwhile, a boy is haunted by visions, blah blah blah. It's a less competent version of Silence of the Lambs and a waste of all talents involved.

2 blue sweaters out of 5

The Last House (2026)

Following a rain storm, a family of four find themselves stuck in their house with no means of escape. The doors and windows have been sealed shut by a mysterious force, and worse yet, the internet is out. At first, it's sort of sweet, because it forces a family closer together. But as supplies dwindle, things get grimmer. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this, although at times it feels like it's been edited together by someone who's never seen a movie before.

3½ DVDs watched over and over again out of 5

Mr. K (2024)

Crispin Glover is Mr. K, a traveling illusionist who has grown disillusioned. He checks into a mysterious Kafkaesque hotel where he can't seem to check out and the walls are closing in. It reminded me of the dark whimsy of Jean-Pierre Jeunet at times, which is probably giving it far too much credit. Depending on your interpretation, at a certain point you just go "ZWUH?" and call it a day.

2½ marching bands out of 5

It Ends (2025)

A simple, effective premise for horror. Four kids in a car alone down a dark highway, driving on a completely straight road with no end in sight. There are no other cars around and everything looks exactly the same. I dare not spoil what happens next, suffice to say that this is a true indie film where you must provide your own answers, which will prove divisive to many. The concept alone terrifies me, but this is a great example of getting a lot of good mileage out of a clever, relatable situation. It reminded me of films like Dead End and Lost Highway, but this is basically Sartre's No Exit set on an endless highway.

3½ Clif Bars out of 5

Skinamarink (2022)

In a word, tedious. In several more words, like watching paint dry. There's no story, no set-up, nothing. Just two kids home alone, a camera panning around a house, things that go bump in the night, voice modulation and quick cut jump scares. This type of shit drives me crazy because it screams pretention. Even though it's a unique type of film and I'll always be able to identify it by that (and its illogical title), I by no means enjoyed the experience. There was one jump scare around 47 minutes in that was hard earned, but never got followed up on. This film feels like being edged for 100 minutes and not getting to cum.

½ a shot of the ceiling out of 5

We're All Going to the World's Fair (2021)

I really despise this film, though it's more for the reality it reflects. A lonely teenage girl who lives her entire life online films herself doing the "World's Fair" challenge and documents her experiences onwards. Maybe it's because I deplore the exploitation of technology, YouTube personalities, and people giving strangers total access to themselves 24 hours a day, but it's basically about trying to fit it with a viral trend in order to boost views and give some purpose in life. It just doesn't really amount to much in the end. This is the kind of horror I appreciate more in retrospect, even though I am loath to repeat.

1½ stuffed dolls out of 5

Jimmy & Stiggs (2024)

Jimmy is a paranoid filmmaker who has just survived an alien encounter. He contacts his estranged buddy Stiggs and drags him into the supposed extra-terrestrial showdown. Most of this film is shot on handheld and carries a very chaotic, frenetic nature. The whole thing takes place within an apartment setting, with handmade DIY practical effects, so it's indie as fuck. Even though it basically boils down to two dudes screaming at each other while fucking shit up, there's something about this that makes it more memorable than your average piece of shit. You can tell it's a labor of love that the filmmaker spent four years working on. I'm being very generous with my rating here, but I can see myself revisiting this in about a year's time and giving it a ½ edge bump.

2 cigarette drags out of 5