Cold Storage (2026)

A highly infectious parasitic fungus comes down from space and is contained in an underground cold storage facility where it slowly continues to spread and wreak more havoc. It looks like a generic horror comedy on the outside, though it contains slightly more substance than your usual fodder. While it starts out fully engrossing, it quickly goes downhill from there. I didn't find the chemistry between the leads very believable, and Liam Neeson is mostly wasted here. It does go full Troma at a certain point, but I was over it by then.

2 treads out of 5

The Naked Gun (2025)

Son of a gun. 31 years later, this series gets resuscitated by Seth MacFarlane and The Lonely Island's Akiva Schaffer, with Liam Neeson playing the part of Frank Drebin Jr. (no doubt cast because he was listed next alphabetically). Similar to Leslie Nielsen's turn in Airplane!, Liam Neeson gets to show off his comedy chops, and if there's one person who could nail the Priscilla Presley role, it's Pamela Anderson. It's a loving homage in the best possible sense, and while it doesn't come close to the original, the scattershot approach hits its target quite a few times. It works best with a receptive crowd, and it's dense enough that you can rewatch it and pick up on different gags. It's undeniably dumb, but kind of refreshing to see this lost style of comedy back in 2025.

3 unlikely threesomes out of 5

Love Actually (2003)

I have a troubled personal history with this movie going all the way back to 2003, but it is strangely irresistible, magical and charming in a way that most ensemble romantic comedies manage to fail at. I credit that to Richard Curtis embracing the adult humor and R-rated spirit of the material, while somehow comfortably fitting into that cozy Christmas mold. The music in this film is also spectacular and manages to elevate it to new heights. While I'll never shake the pain of watching this alone for the first time (or the last), there's no denying it's become a classic at this point. I won't even try to resist anymore.

Audiences love to try and re-analyze films through the lenses of modern sensibilities and criticize some of its choices for being "tone-deaf" at the time, but that's just a lazy cop-out. It's aged remarkably well and has only gotten better in time. There's only one storyline in this film which I find abhorrent (it's not the one you think), and that's the only reason why I docked it half a star. It's an absolutely perfect romantic comedy aside from it. 

4½ hand-made signs out of 5

A Prayer for the Dying (1987)

Based on a 1973 Jack Higgins novel of the same name that I haven't read, it stars Mickey Rourke as an IRA member named Martin Fallon. When a plan to murder members of the British Army goes wrong, the bomber flees from the North of Ireland to London. He claims to have had enough of killing, but accepts a job to kill once more in order to fully escape. There's probably meant to be a tragic irony in the situation, but asking an audience to sympathise with the likes of Fallon with little justification is asking too much.
Alan Bates does well as a cultured funeral director who's also a gangster, but Bob Hoskins is miscast as a catholic priest who has a past of his own. The film strives for a remorseful moodiness, but achieves mostly unevenness.

2½ changed tunes out of 5

Seraphim Falls (2006)

An unceasing Liam Neeson and a small hired posse hunt a lone Pierce Brosnan across a changing terrain. We're not told early on which of the two men has the higher moral ground, or the most lawful position, etc, or if indeed either of them has, but the reasons for why things are happening being drip-fed to the viewer throughout only serves to heighten the realism of the hunt.
Before watching Seraphim Falls, if someone mentioned Brosnan I'd have pictured him as James Bond, Not anymore. Henceforth he'll be as he is herein, bearded, with superb survival skills and a bucketful of courage.
It might sound silly, but much of the film's final act felt to me like it could be happening within Stephen King's The Dark Tower books.

4 curatives out of 5

Operation Chromite (2016)

A mostly Korean but occasionally English language war movie 'inspired by' true events; i.e. the Korean War, a conflict in which the communist North, with the support of China and Russia, invaded the South, who were aided by the US.
The film follows a squad of soldiers from the South who undertake a covert operation in the North. The Korean actors are well-suited to their roles, whether that be as daring, selfless hero types or as stand-offish and overwhelmingly suspicious murderous types, but the Western actors are less successful, In fact, while I generally like Liam Neeson he's a piss-poor choice to play US military leader General MacArthur. It boggles the mind why an actor with a discernible N. Irish accent was considered good for the role.

2 intel efforts out of 5

After.Life (2009)

Schoolteacher Anna Taylor (Christina Ricci) and her partner (Justin Long) are failing to connect on an emotional level, as if some kind of unseen veil exists between them, a metaphorical screen that gets replaced by a white sheet on Eliot Deacon's (Liam Neeson) funeral home table.
I felt a similar kind of disconnect to the story; the emotional thread of the film, even with its attempts to take an indirect route, was unable to fully penetrate the muddled presentation. In its desire to be both a psychological thriller and a sophisticated chiller it unfortunately loses sight of both goals. And while at various stages I loved the colours used, the lighting, framing, and even the recurring blood motif, the balance of sombre and sinister never felt quite right, as if each one was being forced into corners that were in different buildings. But kudos to Ricci for doing what was required during the attempt.

2½ appropriate flowers out of 5

SILENCE [2016]

After 27 years of toying with the idea, director Martin Scorsese finally tackles Silence, a film adaptation of Shūsaku Endō's novel of the same name.
Set in 17th Century Japan, a time when the Japanese were brutally exterminating anything or body related to Christianity.  two Jesuit priests quietly sneak into the nation in search for their missing mentor.
It's such a huge story but Scorsese scales it down into such intimacy it's very apparent the director approached the project with immensely personal feelings about it.  However dry the film might be in spots it never stops asking questions with emotional complexity to keep you captivated.  No matter how much it asks it seldom supplies answers and instead begs the viewer to seek out their own, should they ever find the correct one.

4 confessions too many out of 5

THE MISSION [1986]

Director Roland Joffé's historical drama The Mission tells of the 1750 Spanish–Portuguese Treaty of Madrid when when Spain handed over part of South America to Portugal.
Here we follow a small group of Spanish Jesuits who attempt to protect a remote native tribe from being abducted into slavery.
All sorts of controversial themes are explored within the richly woven storytelling, some which will be seen from a vastly different sort of minds and ideals that existed when the film first came out.  Amidst all it's gorgeous photography and a particularly beautiful score, courtesy of Ennio Morricone, is a very cold-hearted exploration of Christianity and how helpful and/or damaging it is.  Wherever you sit with the ideals, one can't deny the power of the film and what it sets out to do.

4 heavy loads out of 5

DARKMAN [1990]

Director Sam Raimi lays down the melodrama something fierce in his comic book-esque mad scientist thriller Darkman.
A brilliant doctor is left for dead by a group of thugs and unknowingly extracts revenge on each of them from within the shadows in this kitschy homage to olde tyme Universal horror films.
Although Raimi shows restraint from the same type of goofiness his Evil Dead flicks displayed, one can't help but notice how Darkman teeters between horror camp and straight-up spoofiness.  The plotting is occasionally a far-fetched mess but that's all part of it's charm, that is if this is your thing.  If it's not your thing then it's best advised you steer clear from this one because Raimi doesn't hold back from the popcorn cheese here.  No matter what, I like this movie and all it's operatic sequences, over-played tragedy and goofball cinematic atmospherics.

3 pink elephants out of 5

Krull (1983)

Imagine Lord of the Rings mixed with a certain space opera sci-fi trilogy that I've no wish to namecheck, plonk both into a fairytale world with existing fairytale rules and you have Krull. That’s not just an easy way for me to save words – it’s exactly what the film is.
The locations are beautiful and the sets, although obviously on a sound stage, are inventive and exciting. The hero’s deadly starfish (okay, Glaive) features prominently on the cover but is hardly used. Nevertheless, it’s still one of the most memorable aspects of the whole affair.
The thing I’ll remember most fondly, however, is how supporting actor Bernard Bresslaw and the FX team managed to imbue the blinking of a single fake eye with so much nobility and pathos.

3 pocket rocks out of 5

RUN ALL NIGHT [2015]

I think it's time to admit that I am fully enthusiastic about flashy hard-boiled thrillers about old guys (mainly Denzel Washington or Liam Neeson) who are usually ex-marines, ex-assassins or some guy who used to kill and need to find a way to redeem themselves before they too finally bite the bullet.
With that generic description you pretty much get the idea of director Jaume Collet-Serra's latest, the laughably titled Run All Night.  It starts out like a Google Maps app on speed but about an hour in I found myself pretty involved and intrigued with the mess that it was, before it winds down into a pretty formulaic and dull climax.  It met all my expectations and just sort of hovered on that notion for the duration of the film.

3 Fairytales in New York out of 5

A Walk Among the Tombstones (2014)

Writer/director Scott Frank attempts to bring the popular literary figure Matt Scudder, a former NYPD-cop, now private investigator to the silver screen. Liam Neeson's experienced and thoughtful nature lends well to the character. It's obvious he has carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and demons in his past. Hired by a drug trafficker (Dan Stevens), he must track down a pair of grisly serial killers who ransom their victims. The film is paced extremely well with a bulk of the proceedings dealing with Scudder's meticulous and determined pursuit. The hit-and-miss supporting cast is really the only blight on the film. While I was impressed with Olafur Olafsson's sullen performance of the third culprit, it's a shame so much runtime was wasted on Scudder's adolescent wingman TJ (Brian Bradley).

3½ unfortunate bullets to the eye out of 5

Taken 3 (2014)

Olivier Megaton takes the directorial reigns again as Bryan Mills fights to clear his name when he is framed for his ex-wife's murder. This time on American soil, he must circumnavigate the police and one very crafty detective (Forest Whitaker). While Neeson is usually cast now as the grisly yet crafty veteran, I really saw his age in a few of the chase scenes. The camerawork covers it up with nauseatingly jarring close-up shots and movements. I found the vehicular chase scenes completely laughable and groan-inducing. But the close-combat hand-to-hand fight sequences were the true highlight of the film. Predictable twists and a mountain of plotholes and corn-veniences aside, the third installment keeps up the action and thrills despite an aging Neeson.

2½ unwanted crotch shots out of 5

NON-STOP [2014]

Liam Neeson puts on his highly effective tough-guy pants again in director Jaume Collet-Serra's mystery/thriller Non-Stop.
Filled with enough holes in it's logic, Non-Stop requires you to shut off your brain and enjoy the uneven ride while it lasts.  The tricky photography makes great use of the claustrophobic space and in turn creates a highly effective tension that doesn't let up until the end.  It's numb, dumb fun that's more satisfying than I thought it would be.

3 broken text msg bubbles out of 5

A MILLION WAYS TO DIE IN THE WEST [2014]

Seth MacFarlane's second theatrical feature, A Million Ways To Die In The West is a raunchy-as-fuck comedy that really isn't for everybody.
MacFarlane hasn't a clue what he's doing behind the camera when it comes to directing live action and it really shows but that's not what we're here for.  The audience expects to laugh while being offended at the same time and this film delivers in flying colors (and a wide variety of fluids).  At times it's just plain stupid and a bit too much but occasionally a glimmer of wit and cleverness shines through reminding us why Liam Neeson, Charlize Theron and even Patrick Stewart would have anything to do with MacFarlane & his work.
On top of all of that, it features some of the most hilarious piss-your-pants cameos on film I think I've ever seen.

3 firecrackers wrapped in roast beef out of 5

TAKEN 2 [2012]

Liam Neeson is back as the scary-as-hell father on a mission for vengeance in the sequel to the surprisingly fun action/thriller Taken.
With Pierre Morel out of the director's chair, it seems like a no-brainer to get The Transporter 3 director Olivier Megaton behind the camera seeing as Luc Besson is still involved.
While the first one as a refreshingly violent and brainless thrill-ride, the second one is dull, predictable and pretty much seems like the first one only tamer, tired and completely forgettable.  As an action star, Neeson is still a joy to watch but nothing much more is worth seeking out in Taken 2.

2 grenade triangulations out of 5

THE LEGO MOVIE [2014]

From director/writers Phil Lord & Christopher Miller (the guys behind Clone High, Brooklyn Nine-Nine and the 21 Jumpstreet films), The Lego Movie seems like it would be one big commercial to sell more toys.
However with Lord & Miller's background one can expect a high-energy, colorfully told story with plenty of tongue-in-cheek moments of snappy dialogue and sight gags all wrapped in a big well-placed heart.
At times it's just a bit too schmalzty and simplistic to really be as smart as some of it's CGI animated counterparts but it's got enough flair to never lose it's enjoyability.
...and let's face it, folks, didn't we all want to see Batman for the douchey ass that he really is?

3 weird cat things out of 5

THE A-TEAM [2010]

I was told by a few folks that director Joe Carnahan's bigscreen adaptation of the beloved '80's TV show The A-Team is a lot more fun than you think it would be.
...I was lied to.
I was never a fan of the series, so maybe I'm missing something here but with a concept so inane and shallow, I'd be difficult to find something of much substance to begin with.  There's a few entertaining moments of groan-worthy action sequences but nothing that memorable or satisfying.  The cast looks like they're having a great ol' time but it's never enough to carry on to the viewer.  A boring, predictable, loud and violent waste of time if you ask me.

1 flying van out of 5

TAKEN [2008]

With a little help from Luc Besson as writer & producer, Pierre Morel directs Liam Neeson in the violent action/thriller Taken.
What serves as a vehicle to redefine Neeson as a highly effective action star, Taken is riddled with plotholes, flat-lining dialogue and not a whole lot of thought put into it.  However it's the fast-paced action that keeps the story charging forward, never really giving you enough time to realize all the things wrong with it.  If not for Neeson's performance the film might not have been as fun as it is, so take it with a grain of salt and hopefully enjoy giving your brain a little bit of down time.

3 memorable phone calls out of 5