Ballerina (2025)

AKA: From the World of John Wick: Ballerina

Ana de Armas portrays Eve Macarro, a Ruska Roma avenging the murder of her father in this spin-off to the John Wick franchise, taking place alongside and adjacent to the events of Parabellum. Eve is slight but proves to be formidable and fully capable of handling this action franchise, and this film is just as dumb and relentless as its male-centric counterpart. Basically does all the things the other movies do well, except she's a girl. Featuring appearances from series staples such as Keanu Reeves and Ian McShane, as well as Lance Reddick's final on-screen role as the wonderful concierge of the Continental, Charon.

3 fire fights out of 5

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019)

Picking up sheer moments after Chapter 2's thrilling cliffhanger, the Baba Yaga essentially prepares to wage war against the world. The first 20 minutes or so stand head and shoulders above anything else in the franchise and I almost wish it could have sustained that breakneck intensity throughout. A lot of it is ridiculousness in service of abiding by "rules" that are set in place by invisible forces. What you're signing up for here is impressively choreographed gun fu sequences with lots of neon colors, pulsing tunes and a shitload of violence, and it delivers as advertised. It's shallow, mindless action, but it looks good doing it. Lest we not forget, this is a series that all began with the murder of a puppy, and there are still loose ends to tie up. It's kind of funny to think that all of these movies take place within a week.

3½ markers out of 5

Seraphim Falls (2006)

An unceasing Liam Neeson and a small hired posse hunt a lone Pierce Brosnan across a changing terrain. We're not told early on which of the two men has the higher moral ground, or the most lawful position, etc, or if indeed either of them has, but the reasons for why things are happening being drip-fed to the viewer throughout only serves to heighten the realism of the hunt.
Before watching Seraphim Falls, if someone mentioned Brosnan I'd have pictured him as James Bond, Not anymore. Henceforth he'll be as he is herein, bearded, with superb survival skills and a bucketful of courage.
It might sound silly, but much of the film's final act felt to me like it could be happening within Stephen King's The Dark Tower books.

4 curatives out of 5

Martian Child (2007)

Dir. Menno Meyjes' MC is about David (John Cusack), a widowed science fiction author, and the bond he struggles to forge with his newly adopted son, a strange kid named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) who claims to be a Martian.
The quirky set-up does its job well, addressing its intended audience. Even the playful but slightly reserved cover art is a hint to the type of film you're getting: a comedy/drama about relationships and self-discovery. I've seen the same kind of thing done better, but if the thought of yet another sweet, sentimental film in which a self-isolated young boy and an adult male with something missing in his life help solve each other's emotional problems is pleasing to you, then it'll probably tick most of your boxes.

3 coping mechanisms out of 5

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

An alternative telling of the Cinderella story, supposing that a sixteenth century historical 'truth' was inspiration for the well-known tale.
Drew Barrymore is the young maiden who's mistreated by her wicked stepmom and forced into servitude in her own home. When distanced from her predicament she's more intelligent, outspoken and inspirational than the wispy female that we often get in modern fairy tale versions.
It gives more backstory to the "French" Prince, although he's still pretty bland most of the time. Anjelica Huston is well-cast as the conniving and jealous stepmom (I mean that in the most complimentary way), but my personal favourite character was the middle sister, Jacqueline (Melanie Lynskey).

3 everyday rusties out of 5

Buffalo '66 (1998)

Everyone knows that films use images to help tell a story, but the more subtle art of using the imagery as a language with its own semantic and contextual layers is an art form that’s arguably just as important to the process. In the best films a single image is more polysemous than even the most versatile word. Buffalo ‘66 epitomises the notion without being too conspicuous.
Gallo wrote, directed, scored and starred in it. He plays Billy Brown, recently released from prison into a cold world. Billy finds a peculiar kind of warmth in Christina Ricci’s reactive performance, but he’s not equipped to deal with the kind of salvation she offers. His neurotic tendencies and masking of nervous weaknesses with frequent angry outbursts keep him safe and distant while Ricci's odd behaviour tries to break down his barriers.

4½ strikes out of 5

Addams Family Values (1993)

The same director and most of the same cast return for a superior sequel. It kept everything that was good about the first film but tied it to a more interesting story. In fact, there are two stories running concurrently, neither of which is very complicated but both have some fun moments.
Overall, it’s much more blackly humourous than before. I’d have preferred if the slapstick moments had been eliminated completely, but they needed something to keep the younger viewers happy.
As before, the expressionistic lighting is the real star.

3 gifts for Fester out of 5

The Addams Family (1991)

I'd not watched this before. I've always been more of a Munsters fan.
The whole thing seems tailor-made for Tim Burton, but then we probably wouldn't have had Anjelica Huston, we'd have had whomever he was married to at the time and Johnny Depp.
The casting in general was great, especially Raúl Juliá as Gomez and Christina Ricci as the deadpan Wednesday. It was nice to see the concern they each had for each other so well-developed.
It never takes itself too seriously, which was the correct approach.
The sets were fantastic and the entire thing was beautifully lit, but the story was disappointing and left me wanting.

2½ displacements out of 5

THE CROSSING GUARD [1995]

Sitting in the director's chair, Sean Penn fumbles around with his own script in the clumsily executed drama The Crossing Guard.

Penn can't decide if this is a straight-faced drama or an artsy independent film and in turn hurts the narrative flow quite a bit.  To add salt to the wounds, his dialogue and dramatic arcs are so excruciatingly terrible they belong in a TV movie of the week.  There were several points where I wasn't sure if it was just really, really bad humour or Penn actually wanted us to take it's aimlessly bizarre moments seriously.  Even the impressive cast seems to be lost while performing a favour for their actor turned "director" friend.

1 "hilarious" bus ride out of 5

The Witches (1990)

The Witches is a movie I'd all but forgotten about, and I'm glad that I was recently reminded of it. Based on the Roald Dahl book of the same name, it tells the tale of a boy and his superstitious grandmother who unintentionally encounter a frightening group of witches. The movie alternates between being darkly funny and downright chilling, and features some fabulous puppet work. It's the last film that Jim Henson ever worked on personally, and it makes me long to see what else he might have brought the world. Anjelica Huston gives a masterful performance, and while the child stars aren't incredible actors, they avoid being annoying, which is a feat in of itself. The ending is drastically different than the one in the book, and a lot less effective overall, but the original ending hurt my heart a bit, so I can let it slide.

3.5 unorthodox weight loss methods out of 5.

50/50 (2011)

Nice guy Joseph Gordon-Levitt is diagnosed with a rare and deadly tumor with a 50% survival rate in this depressing "comedy"/drama. Goes through the whole process of cancer in a very realistic scenario; the actors here are all very believable, although "comedy relief" Seth Rogan comes off as insensitive most of the time. Still, I found this very uncompromising and moving, so I give it my stamp of approval.

4 Chemotherapy treatments out of 5