Say Anything... (1989)

Cameron Crowe's debut feature is a classic romantic comedy/drama about an underachiever who falls for a valedictorian, and the class struggles that ensue as they court romance within their disparate social groups. It's a charming film full of memorable performances that only seem to get better with age, even though it's filled with tropes that have been overused for the past 40 years.

3½ boomboxes outside your window out of 5

One Crazy Summer (1986)

Savage Steve Holland's follow-up to Better Off Dead had similar quirky comic sensibilities, but leans a bit too far in the direction of absurdity to thoroughly recommend. Regardless, I still choose to revisit it often because there are just enough memorable scenes that make me laugh. The plot is entirely secondary here; it's just a series of oddball misadventures set on the island of Nantucket.

2½ Godzilla suits out of 5

Better Off Dead (1985)

After being dumped by his girlfriend, Lane Myer is depressed and suicidal, as his efforts to either kill himself or win her back both fail miserably. Despite the dark subject matter, this is a very fun and whimsical comedy with creative flights of fancy and surrealism that was destined to become a cult classic.

3½ persistent paperboys out of 5

The Sure Thing (1985)

A down-on-his-luck college student is seduced by the promise of a "sure thing" waiting for him in California, as he makes his way cross-country with a reluctant passenger by his side. This rom-com might seem dated by modern standards, but it's full of charming performances that stand the test of time.

3 hitchhikers out of 5

Sixteen Candles (1984)

Samantha (Molly Ringwald) is the birthday girl the film is named for, upset that she doesn't feel any different despite the coming-of-age marker having arrived, which is a trivial thing to be concerned over, I feel. Worse still, she's pissed-off that she's not the most important person at home that morning, due to her older sister getting married the following day. The words 'attention whore' spring to mind. As the day goes on we learn that she may be in love with an older guy, which is a situation that I found just as difficult to care about. One of Molly's The Breakfast Club (1985) co-stars, Anthony Michael Hall, features too, as a geek who helps her move (slightly) forward, but his ilk get mocked often, without effectively showing their individual merits.
Within John Hughes' début film are the beginnings of his lauded teen-movie credentials, but Sixteen Candles isn't a very good example of the same.

2½ social opportunities out of 5

Chi-Raq (2015)

An uneven blend of serious drama, comedy and musical set pieces from director Spike Lee that's based on the ancient Greek Lysistrata, in which the women of warring men withheld sex in the hope of achieving peace. In Spike's hands it's the gang violence of 'Chi-raq' (a portmanteau of Chicago and Iraq), utilising both the language and music of the era and culture.
The chastity-belted ladies (led by Teyonah Parris) carry the narrative forward, while Sam Jackson pops up occasionally to speak directly to the viewer. John Cusak gives support as a white preacher in one of the film's best scenes. But it's Angela Bassett that kept me watching; when the stylised nonsense threatened to sink the whole affair, she was on hand to save it from itself.

2½ locked gates out of 5

Martian Child (2007)

Dir. Menno Meyjes' MC is about David (John Cusack), a widowed science fiction author, and the bond he struggles to forge with his newly adopted son, a strange kid named Dennis (Bobby Coleman) who claims to be a Martian.
The quirky set-up does its job well, addressing its intended audience. Even the playful but slightly reserved cover art is a hint to the type of film you're getting: a comedy/drama about relationships and self-discovery. I've seen the same kind of thing done better, but if the thought of yet another sweet, sentimental film in which a self-isolated young boy and an adult male with something missing in his life help solve each other's emotional problems is pleasing to you, then it'll probably tick most of your boxes.

3 coping mechanisms out of 5

Dragon Blade (2015)

On paper (or onscreen) the premise of DB is kind of interesting: in 48 BC a Roman leader marches his army into China in an attempt to conquer the Silk Road trade routes that connected the West to the East. The trade routes are historical fact, but seeing Roman centurions in China is something uncommon in film. Sadly, the result is another modern 'epic' bore-fest that excels in its beautiful costumes while failing at almost everything else.
Really, why must we have three-hundred people in a scene that realistically only needs a few? More does not equal better. I used to consider Chinese action cinema as some of the best in the world, but dross like this has none of the vibrancy and distinctiveness that once made Asian movies so special.

1½ homemade flags out of 5

Cell (2016)

Based on Stephen King's novel, the story marries the popular zombie genre with society's necessity for cell phones. The thrilling opening succeeds in clutching your attention despite some overacting extras and poor green screen work. The duo of John Cusack and Samuel L. Jackson are one of the film's only bright spots. Their acting is genuinely engaging. Unfortunately the plot, dialogue and proceeding events are all beyond belief. Silly exposition waxing on human evolution and apocalyptic theories mar the film considerably. The zombies or phoners' (as they are referred to in the film) odd behavior inspire more laughs than scares. Obvious adaptation issues attribute to a rushed pacing and irresolute conclusion. 

1½ flocks out of 5

Con Air (1997)

I’m not exaggerating my opinion when I say that Con Air is a revelation. I dug it when I saw it in theatres, and I LOVE it now. The inmates are a wonderfully strong and quirky crew of personalities, which is good because they have to shoulder the majority of the screen-time. Cage is incredibly subdued, but he makes it work with the slightest little hints of Cage-yness bubbling up around the seams. There’s some great visual symbolism on display and Buscemi steals the show as a breathing piece of philosophical social commentary. Like NEVER’s Kyosui, the flamboyantly gay character isn’t degraded for who he is and is relied upon the same as the others. I can’t say that it’s enjoyable cheese, because I genuinely believe it’s a well-made action movie with something to say. 

It’s quality.

4 Bruised, yet Bona Fide, Birthday Bunnies out of 5

Nutted by NEG.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

A group of friends past their prime and down on their luck attempt to rekindle memories of their youth at a ski resort they once frequented. One has to suspend disbelief when they discover their hot tub is a time machine. It's a blatant no-brains, have-a-blast type of comedy with plenty of raunchy humor and over-the-top performances. And despite a slow start, the film does a nice job of fitting in stories for each of the ensemble cast. Now in the 80s they act to change their pathetic destinies and find a way back to their own timeline. The only real eye sore is the absolutely terrible green screen effects.

3 one-armed Crispin Glovers out of 5

MAPS TO THE STARS [2014]

Director David Cronenberg douses Hollywood in gasoline and takes a match to it in the satirical thriller Maps To The Stars.
It tells the tale of a dysfunctional celebrity family that all live in some sort of drugged up hyper-reality that refuses to serve it's lunatic inhabitants any sort of meaningful purpose.  Julianne Moore, Mia Wasikowska and Evan Bird all turn in some pathologically chilling performances that you can't help but be drawn to while Cronenberg's direction has enough venom in it to make it funny, disturbing, depressing and downright insane.  This isn't a film for everyone, seeing as it is difficult to enjoy if you're not already a little off your rocker but definitely an impressive trail to take if you're morbid curiosity gets the best of you.

3½ bad babysitters out of 5

High Fidelity (2000)

John Cusack leads a fourth-wall breaking comedy drama based on a 1995 Nick Hornby novel of the same name (that I've not read). It’s about a guy in his mid-thirties, Rob, a record store owner, who lists his Top 5 relationship breakups as a means to put his current one in perspective. His incremental move toward acceptance of his own broken nature is cleverly edited and filled with sharp dialogue. Rob’s sullenness would be tiring if not for the contrasts afforded him by the people around him. In that respect, despite his shakiness, he’s the rock upon which all other aspects of the film depend.

3½ professional appreciators out of 5

GRAND PIANO [2013]

Grand Piano is director Eugenio Mira's almost successful attempt to create an effective Alfred Hitchcock-esque thriller, echoing that of The Man Who Knew Too Much glazed over with Brian DePalma's bite.
It follows the ridiculous idea of being held at gunpoint from afar while performing on stage at the symphony, an idea that reminded me of Phone Booth only with a little more elegance.  It's well-acted, has some intriguing camera-work and wow, the score by Victor Reyes is stunningly powerful but the film as a whole never quite gets as intense as it yearns to be.

2½ sharp C's out of 5

THE BUTLER [2013]

With it's huge cast of big names, politically historical subject material and more calculated dramatic moments you can shake your fist at, it seems Lee Daniels made The Butler to be scream "give me an Oscar".
Forest Whitaker turns in a well-rounded thoughtful performance as do all his co-stars but unfortunately the film itself seems to make all it's points with neon signs never really going for subtly or grace.  Uneven storytelling and predictability prevent it from becoming the timeless classic it wants to be.
It's not a bad film but after awhile you tire of it trying to be too good.

3 JFK neckties out of 5

THE FROZEN GROUND [2013]

After over a decade of terrible films, Nicolas Cage returns to fine form in Scott Walker's serial killer thriller The Frozen Ground.
Based upon the Alaskan serial killer, Robert Hansen, the film oozes with moodiness and a dreary atmosphere that immediately sends chills down your spine.  John Cusack is impressively creepy, and like The Paperboy, he finally steps away from playing the emo-bastard he's been doing for the past 30 years and is driven by something entirely different and more disturbing.  However it's Vanessa Hudgens, who's wiped away her Disney tween star persona with a bit more grace than her peers, that steals the show with a solid performance that oozes with emotional damage.  Wonderful performances aside, the film is a bit of a generic bore that never quite has the impact it should have.

2½ plane rides out of 5

THE THIN RED LINE [1998]

Director Terrence Malick's adaptation of James Jones' WWII novel The Thin Red Line loosely follows the savage Battle Of Mt. Austen in the Pacific Theater.
It explores the beauty of life, earth and love and completely contrasts that with insanity, destruction and unexplainable hatred.  It shifts between startling beauty and frenzied ugliness through it's stunning photography, wonderful acting, thoughtful monologues and what I'd consider some of the best work composer Hans Zimmer has ever written.  It doesn't serve the viewer a standard story like Saving Private Ryan did the same year but instead asks the audience to search their hearts for the emotional core of the narrative.

5 flickering flames out of 5

Being John Malkovich (1999)

An unashamedly weird and hugely enjoyable film that offers up complex Freudian concepts and then somehow makes you not care that they get whitewashed over, because it was into a large tin of pure originality that writer Charlie Kaufman dipped his brush. It's the kind of comedy that makes you smile wryly, but would be equally at home in the tragedy section. If you over-analyse the plot too much it’ll start to turn in on itself, so just roll with it and have your faith restored in cinema for a short time.
John Malkovich is wonderful as... er...  Malkovich, and Cusack gives one of his best performances ever.

3½ low overheads out of 5

THE PAPERBOY [2012]

With it's exploitative & lurid plot, large host of despicable characters and other-timely trashy fashion sense, Lee Daniels' The Paperboy is by all means the definition of "pulpfiction".

It's got a lot of layered, impressive performances, particularly Nicole Kidman, but for some reason Daniels seems to think he can carry a whole film on just that.  The story is nothing we've never seen before and gives us no reason to give any thought to the actions onscreen.  With it's numerous themes and conflicts bouncing around it might have tried to insert some warmth or heart into the story but instead it seems to find itself all too comfortable in the seediness of the world.  

2 gator guts out of 5

THE RAVEN [2012]

John Cusack does his usual self-absorbed "tortured" smartass routine, only this time he's Edgar Allan Poe in James McTeigue's fictional mystery about the final days of the author's life, The Raven.

It's a beautiful looking grisly film that tells a tightly wound little tale that unfortunately has no character to it.  We're introduced to Poe's personal problems but they are never utilized in any sort of interesting character conflict, which makes me wonder why the character had to be Poe in the first place.  It's got a few moments of intrigue but in the end it adds up to nothing but frustrated disappointment.  

2 raccoons out of 5