Mission: Impossible II (2000)

AKA: M:I-2

Whereas the first film very much felt like a slick espionage thriller in the style of the original series, this one and the rest of the series from here focuses on big action set pieces and lots of death-defying stunts centered around its star. The formula basically functions as a vehicle for Tom Cruise to position himself as the James Bond of this franchise and prove he's better than you and shit.

Some have called it the worst installment of the series, but I actually prefer this in some ways to the convoluted nature of the first film since it's slightly easier to follow along. In true John Woo fashion, it's mostly all style over substance, but it works out well enough for this over-the-top franchise.

3 face-offs out of 5

Paddington 2 (2017)

Paddington's second foray on the big screen picks up not long after the first film. Having fully integrated with his new found family, the titular talking bear takes up a series of odd jobs and is framed for a crime he didn't commit. This time around, Hugh Grant portrays the big bad as a clever master of disguise.

People seem to consider this one superior to the original (due to its 100% "fresh" score and a running gag in The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent), but it feels like a much more derivative family film and much less "grounded" in reality. While the humor and warmth is consistent and it remains wholesome and charming, it was massively overhyped for me compared to the original.

3 pop-up books out of 5

The Banshees of Inisherin (2022)

"Do you think God gives a damn about miniature donkeys, Colm?"

"I fear he doesn't. And I fear that's where it's all gone wrong."

Set against the backdrop of the Irish Civil War of 1923, off a small village isle of Ireland, a man refuses to speak with his lifelong best friend without any given explanation. That's all you need to know. I honestly didn't know how they'd stretch that premise out to two hours, but I felt compelled throughout. This is a modern masterpiece and one of the best films I've seen in a long time.

5 dreams gone out of 5

Note: Unless you're familiar with Irish vernacular, watch it with subtitles on. 

Joker: Folie à Deux (2024)

Well, they just couldn't leave well enough alone. Picking up two years after the events of the 2019 film, Arthur Fleck is waiting to stand trial for his crimes. He meets a fellow Arkham inmate named Lee (this movie's Harley Quinn), who stokes a part of himself that's long remained dormant. This highly stylized sequel is basically Joker meets La La Land. It's dark as all fuck, and the only light comes through those extended musical sequences which convey the characters' rich inner lives. Due to the success of the original, the filmmakers are able to take much more creative and experimental risks, which work to varying effect. But make no mistake, this is harrowing stuff. I for one am glad it tried something different. It could have easily gone a more conventional route, but it manages to stay true to the spirit of the original. 

The people who criticize this film apparently didn't understand the message of the first one. There's a meta-commentary going on where a lot of fans are attacking it for not being what they wanted it to be, which fits in well with the themes of the film. I do find it ironic that everyone is treating this film the same way the characters treat Arthur. It's a criticism of society itself, but most people won't have the self-awareness to see it.

3½ tears in the rain out of 5

The Snapper (1993)

As if six bickering kids of his own weren't enough to cope with, Dessie's limited peace is further shattered when his eldest daughter (Tina Kellegher) gets herself "up the pole" for the first time. The resultant shit-storm over who the father is or isn't (she refuses to tell) is the basic set-up in a smaller-screen follow-up to Roddy Doyle's The Commitments (1991).
He may technically be only a supporting cast member but Colm Meaney as Dessie earns himself the biggest slice of celebratory cake. His working class one-liners are hilarious and even when evoking pained sympathy his outbursts are laced with an acidic and sarcastic Irish wit.

3 wrong wrong words out of 5

LIVE BY NIGHT [2016]

After three wonderful directorial efforts, Ben Affleck hits a bit of a misfire with his adaptation of Dennis Lehane's organized crime novel Live by Night.
Set in the roarin' 20's Prohibition era, a Boston-bred gangster is relocated to Tampa, Florida, where he sets up violent rivals with the local mob, law enforcement and Ku Klax Klan.
The studio had nearly an hour cut to make it seem more action-packed than it needed to be resulting in the film lacking an emotional core.  With so many thematic directions thrown on the table it's almost impossible to thoroughly explore in what seems to be a rushed shortcut to the finish line.  In the end this well-acted, beautifully shot period drama feels like the studio abandoned what Affleck set out to do and hurried it's way to awards season only to find it put on the wrong undies for such an occasion.

2½ track marks out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 [2010]

Harry Potter & his wand-fondling pals reach the beginning of the end in the 7th installment of the popular film franchise, director David Yates' The Deathly Hallows: Part 1.
The gang are on the search for pieces of Lord Voldemort's soul to render him mortal again and defeat him once and for all.
Wisely splitting the final book into two parts seems like a bit much but with the amount of material that needed to be covered to do the series justice, it proves to be more than just a cheap way for the studio to squeeze out every last penny it can.  The consequences are dire and we definitely feel it through the dread, dreariness and dark passages that weave through the startlingly stark but beautiful visuals.  Non-fans of the series will be completely lost but if you're not into the series already how the hell did you get here anyway?  There's a complete lack of humor which sucks out a bit of the fun and when it does try to be funny it's rather distracting.  Not the perfect Potter film but it gets the audience ready for the grand finale.

3½ Bad Seeds out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE [2005]

Director Mike Newell brings his knack for seamlessly brisk pacing to the fourth film in the Harry Potter film series, The Goblet of Fire.
Hogwart's is host to a very dangerous international tournament amongst the Wizards & Witches world, while the gang first encounters puberty (Ron is hilariously revealed to be an ass-man), firmly graduating the series from children's films to young-adult oriented in both subject matter and tone.  The series gets darker with each installment but Newell manages to insert enough humor to keep it fun enough amidst the doom 'n gloom.  Like always the adult stars are a joy to watch as they have a grand ol' time getting into their quirky roles but it's the kids that make a vast improvement from the last film with their emotional acting chops.  At least half of the novel is left out but doesn't matter seeing as it still fits like a glove in the series without missing any important story arcs leading into the future films.

4 PULPy Radioheads out of 5

THE SECRET OF KELLS [2009]

Directors Tomm Moore & Nora Twomey conjure up their own story about the creation of The Book of Kells in the stunningly animated The Secret Of Kells.
It tells the story of a young boy who lives within a medieval fortress, under siege from Vikings, all while attempting to retrieve magical ink to complete an important manuscript.  The classical animation is illuminated with mostly pleasant shades of green and a style that looks like it was lifted from a late 60's animated short, all of which never ceases to be a magnificent feast for the eyes.  The storytelling and characters however fall a little flat and don't quite equal the magic of it's astonishing appearances or beautiful music courtesy of French composer Bruno Coulais and Irish folk act Kíla.  However, if you're a lover of traditional animation than this is must-see taking no matter of it's burdensome flaws.

3½  acorns out of 5

SONG OF THE SEA [2014]

Inspired the Celtic Selkie legend, director Tomm Moore's second classically animated feature length, Song Of The Sea proves that Irish animation studio Cartoon Saloon is a quality force to be recognized.
This quiet, yet vibrantly beautiful designed film, tells the tale of a young mute girl who transforms into a seal when she enters the sea, while living with a family in mourning of her mother.  Unlike most character & plot driven animated films of today, this one allows it's emotions and subtle poetic depths tell the story and it makes for a deeply powerful experience.  It's a great deal darker than Moore's previous film, The Secret of Kells but it's far more superior in storytelling fluency, instantly lovable characters and memorable visuals.  A real gem of a film that will leave even the strongest of folk with a bit of something in their eye by the end.

5 trick or treaters out of 5

EDGE OF TOMORROW [2014]

aka Live. Die. Repeat.

Based on Hiroshi Sakurazaka's sci-fi novel All You Need Is Kill, director Doug Liman's Edge Of Tomorrow feels like Starship Troopers trapped in the world of Groundhog Day (we all have to say it).
Tom Cruise gets caught in a time loop of the shittiest day during a war against an alien race that looks like gooey versions of The Matrix's sentinels on amphetamines.  As blow-em up, loud SFX razzle dazzle blockbusters go this one's pretty decent as it wears it's smarty pants well.  The normally delicate Emily Blunt is fantastically believable as the gruff one saving Cruise's life through the carnage while he panics and tries to hide.  It's like a video game with it's endless lives and with each turn the story is given a new purpose and theme to explore, never really allowing itself to actually become tiresome or dull.
Never taking itself very seriously at all, Edge Of Tomorrow is a great success that is simply a real hoot.

3½ Full Metal Bitches out of 5

CALVARY [2014]

John Michael McDonagh's second directorial feature is the disturbing and satirical black comedy Calvary.
Brendan Gleeson is fantastic as a Catholic priest who is told he's going to be murdered in a week during a confession.  His performance is filled with depth that portrays anguish, love, contempt and buried anger that is ever so subtle.  He's surrounded by a flock of villagers that wouldn't be out of place in a town like Twin Peaks, where they all have unsettling quirks and nasty secrets.  The story unfolds like a stageplay with gnashing teeth, beautifully written dialogue and a cast of characters one could only dream of.  Let's not forget the wonderful photography which plays a part all it's own and Patrick Cassidy's heartbreaking score which forced a lump in my throat through the opening credits.
It tells a story that is deceivingly abstract that simply lets us know there's still good in this world using the most cynical, frightening and depressing ways possible.

5 paintings to piss on out of 5

Beowulf (2007)

The Beowulf poem was penned in English but not any kind of English you’d recognise. This CGI version is in modern day language, except for the occasional respectful nod to the archaic. Leaving aside differences elsewhere, as a film it does a lot of things well: Grendel is brutally violent but also owns our sympathies; Beowulf himself is flawed and his role open to interpretation; and the fights are dramatic as hell, using the freedom of movement that a virtual environment allows.
The animation succeeds in being realistically lifelike (especially Jolie's face), so if that kind of thing pleases you then you should have no complaints.

3½ belching Thanes out of 5

THE RAVEN [2012]

John Cusack does his usual self-absorbed "tortured" smartass routine, only this time he's Edgar Allan Poe in James McTeigue's fictional mystery about the final days of the author's life, The Raven.

It's a beautiful looking grisly film that tells a tightly wound little tale that unfortunately has no character to it.  We're introduced to Poe's personal problems but they are never utilized in any sort of interesting character conflict, which makes me wonder why the character had to be Poe in the first place.  It's got a few moments of intrigue but in the end it adds up to nothing but frustrated disappointment.  

2 raccoons out of 5

SAFE HOUSE [2012]

Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington deliver some great performances in director Daniel Espinosa's crime thriller Safe House.

The two leads turn in some solid acting, however it's the rest of the fantastic cast that is put to waste as stock characters that have nothing to offer to the character conflicts.  The rest of the film is ruined by a predictable plot that has nothing new to offer to the genre and an irksome overuse of the shaky cam effect.   It's not offensively bad but leaves little to offer after all is said and done.

2½ guests out of 5

GREEN ZONE [2010]

Bourne director Paul Greengrass and Matt Damon reunite for the Irag War thriller Green Zone, based on journalist Rajiv Chandrasekaran's novel.

It's tremendously low on character development so you're left feeling empty and unattached when the danger rears it's ugly head.  As exciting as the cinematography and editing is, the lack of emotional attachment hurts the entire film and leaves you yawning & waiting for an interesting development that never comes.  By the end of the film you're left wondering what was the point?

2 nap times out of 5 

THE GUARD [2011]

Written & directed by John Michael McDonagh (brother of Martin), The Guard is a hilarious crime caper from Ireland.  Brendan Gleeson and Don Cheadle do a fine job with the buddy-cop formula without ever feeling too forced or unrealistic, while McDonagh feeds them some snappy, yet quiet dialogue and beautifully frames them in front of the gloomy Irish coast or a run down village pub.  What could have been a loud, over-the-top violent Tarantino rip-off, instead delights with a scaled down character-driven story and a fantastic spaghetti western-esque score courtesy of Calexico. 

A great tiny little film that tries to be nothing more than just that.

3½ crotch surprises out of 5

IN BRUGES [2008]

Writer/director Martin McDonagh's feature length debut, In Bruges, is a wonderfully dark and humorous crime drama that slowly unravels Hell into Heaven.

Some brilliantly comical and tragically human performances compliment the wonderfully executed script and pacing.  It starts off a little slow but all can be forgiven as the situation cleverly snowballs into something far more complicated than what we're initially led to believe.  

3½ fucking cunt kids out of 5

THE VILLAGE [2004]

M. Night Shyamalan knows how to create creepy moods and atmosphere with great effect and that's pretty much what saves The Village from being a complete disaster.

It has moments of strained and awkward dialogue, silly plot elements that are handled poorly and an "surprise" ending that I saw coming from about 20 minutes into the film.  However the photography, music and performances are wonderful and make it all the worthwhile.

3 bright red bad out of 5

28 Days Later (2002)

It's John Wyndham's Day of the Triffids without the Triffids. It's shot in Britain so the lighting is shitty; plus it's on early DV, so it's grainy as hell. The extras show what it could have looked like if it was on celluloid. I’d have preferred that. Somehow director Danny Boyle makes it good. The music makes it great.

4 here's blood in your eye out of 5