The Thing with Feathers (2025)

A recently widowed father navigates through grief after the sudden passing of his wife, as he contends with a voice in his head and an ominous presence that appears to visit him through his illustrations. It goes without saying that it's depressing as fuck, without much reprieve. It couldn't help but remind me of Tuesday, but way more of a bummer. Benedict Cumberbatch carries the film on his shoulders, but the story is sparse and it never quite manages to take off.

2 sad dads out of 5

Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025)

Avatar has a new skin. While the first two films introduced us to the forest and the sea clans, we now have the ash clan. All that's missing is the air element...

James Cameron does it again. By creating a rich, fully inhabited world that you would rather live in, you forgive all the flaws in this epic sprawling picture, filled with warring clans and transparent allusions to racism. Visually, it's a 10/10 movie; like your desktop wallpaper come to life. Cameron has masterful command over the material and takes us to dazzling, staggering heights filled with beauty, wonder and imagination. Individual moments shine, but most of it feels like CGI on overdrive with things exploding in the background, which overshadows the drama and emotional stakes. The new villain Varang (Oona Chaplin) oozes with sensuality, while the most interesting character remains the teenage Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), but there are too many storylines and the whole thing loses focus quickly. The fundamental flaw of these movies is that they're way too fucking long. And it's starting to feel repetitive at this point. I enjoyed it, but I also breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally over.

3½ breathing devices out of 5

Note: Luckily, this film does feature a conclusive enough ending if Cameron chooses not to continue with his planned sequels. We'll see what happens.

I'm Thinking of Ending Things (2020)

Charlie Kaufman directs this heady adaptation of Iain Reid's novel about a young woman on a road trip to meet her boyfriend's parents who contemplates the future of their relationship. On the surface, it plays out like surreal psychological horror, but it's probably even more nefarious at its core. This is one of those films where all the pieces don't make much sense until you look back at it through a different lens. While this may be frustratingly obtuse to some viewers, it rewards a deeper examination that gives light to deeper meaning. I could devote paragraphs to examining the themes of this film, but I'll just say it gives you a lot to chew on. Could just as easily be called pretentious, so make sure you know what you're getting into. 

4½ ice cream stands out of 5

The New World (2005)

Terrence Malick's telling of the founding of the first permanent English settlement in the Americas is a story of land, maybe, but of nature, certainly. The travellers are edgy and unsettled, at odds with the native culture that belongs there. The meditative voice-overs add to the tremendous poetry of the work, which has a spiritual, verging on dreamlike, quality. The contrasts in the two cultures, explored through John Smith's (Colin Farrell) interactions with both sides, flows introspectively into that same feeling, while James Horner's score evokes the majesty of the world that exists around them.
Christian Bale's performance bored me, but it may be that he gets more room to develop his character in the extended version(s) of the film, I don't know; the disc that I currently own is the standard 136 minutes edition.

4½ gifted seeds out of 5

Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

A belated sequel that once again stars Sharon Stone as crime writer Catherine Tramell, who uses her cougar-like womanly wiles to fuck with psychoanalyst Michael Glass (David Morrissey), a man whose professional instinct tells him to stay away, but whose cock tells him to go all in (literally). It's a tired scenario that had been explored and done much better many times before.
David Thewlis adds some meagre spice as an antagonistic Scotland Yard Detective, but the character's self-serving machinations are as unsuccessful as everything else - there's nothing and no one to care about in the script.

1½ tourist lighters out of 5

WONDER WOMAN [2017]

Monster director Patty Jenkins pulls off the near impossible and makes Wonder Woman the first DCEU film not to be a complete disaster.
Set during World War I, Diana, Princess of the Amazonians, leaves the comfort of her island paradise home to battle the evil---blah-blah-blah.
Ain't nothing new but it's done with so much enthusiasm one can't help but enjoy themselves.  Gal Gadot is an absolute delight as the title character, which shouldn't surprise anyone who's unfortunately sat through Batman v Superman.  There's plenty of flaws to be found if you give it enough thought but that sort of thinking isn't going to get you anywhere fun.  If anything, this one sits aside Sam Raimi's Spider-Man and Richard Donner's Superman as comic book films that are nothing but pure spectacular fun that kicks ass.

3½ babies made of clay out of 5

The Boy in the Striped Pyjamas (2008)

Based upon the novel by John Boyne, it's an emotionally powerful and truly unforgettable story of an eight-year-old boy named Bruno in Nazi Germany during WWII. Bruno's privileged upbringing means he has time to explore his surroundings, to study the soldiers that frequent his father's house; he sees his mother stressed but is unaware of the truths they both hide from him. He's an innocent, and most of the time we see events from his perspective.
It's a gently paced narrative that's as beautiful as it is horrible. It looks gorgeous, too, with cinematography that never fails to impress. Logic says that it should've been in the youth's native language, but then we wouldn't have had the wonderful actors that we got, so it gets a semi-pass.

4 non-farmers out of 5

ANOMALISA [2015]

Never one to spoon-feed audiences, ambitious writer/director Charlie Kaufman (and co-director Duke Johnson) forces your jaw to the floor with the stop-motion animated masterpiece comical drama Anomalisa.
A depressed motivational speaker, who literally hears the same voice coming from everyone he meets, has a spark thrown into his life when he meets a woman who sounds completely different from the rest of the world.
The eerily realistic animated puppets are so engrossing you quite often forget it's not live-action, while you simultaneously get lost in it's tale of loneliness, depression, sex and a creepy Japanese automaton.  It's easy to admire the film from a technical standpoint, however at first it's a little difficult to enjoy the loathsome characters, until you know where it's leading you and it all becomes clear (sort of) as to why everything is the way it is.

4½ girls who wanna have fun out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 [2011]

Director David Yates & the rest of the usual suspects brings the Harry Potter film franchise to a thrilling close in the 8th & final film, The Deathly Hallows: Part 2.
Long gone are the innocent Quiddich days of yesteryear, now it's full-on war at Hogwart's and the body count is beginning to rise at a terrifying rate for both characters and long-time fans of the series.
It's a wonderful conclusion to an already wonderful series, however the previous two films lacked any sense of magical wonder but all is put back in it's right place from the very get go.  Start to finish, the beautifully shot TDH2 is excitingly mysterious, darkly enigmatic and most of all deeply enthralling.  
Farewell, Hogwart's.  'Twas a bloody brilliant, if not bumpy, time.

4 dragon-riders out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 [2010]

Harry Potter & his wand-fondling pals reach the beginning of the end in the 7th installment of the popular film franchise, director David Yates' The Deathly Hallows: Part 1.
The gang are on the search for pieces of Lord Voldemort's soul to render him mortal again and defeat him once and for all.
Wisely splitting the final book into two parts seems like a bit much but with the amount of material that needed to be covered to do the series justice, it proves to be more than just a cheap way for the studio to squeeze out every last penny it can.  The consequences are dire and we definitely feel it through the dread, dreariness and dark passages that weave through the startlingly stark but beautiful visuals.  Non-fans of the series will be completely lost but if you're not into the series already how the hell did you get here anyway?  There's a complete lack of humor which sucks out a bit of the fun and when it does try to be funny it's rather distracting.  Not the perfect Potter film but it gets the audience ready for the grand finale.

3½ Bad Seeds out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE [2009]

Director David Yates really lays down the dark & dismal in the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series, The Half-Blood Prince.
With Voldemort & his Dark-Eaters waging war on both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, Harry learns more about the Dark Lord and how he came to be, as well as discovering disturbing evidence of how much the two are actually alike.  While the previous films were a healthy balance of style and substance, this one leans more towards the striking visuals making it  just too damned dark to be much fun.  When it does have a bit of a laugh it breaks the tone and feels ridiculously out of place.   Even the actors, apart from Alan Rickman and Jim Broadbent, don't seem to be up to par with their previous performances.  Still, it is perhaps one of the most important chapters in the series, seeing as it's tragic ending leads to the explosive conclusion.
I like to consider this the calm before the storm.

3 bumpy bridges out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX [2007]

Director David Yates steps in for his first of four (and final) Harry Potter films, The Order of the Phoenix.
After Lord Voldemort (exquisitely played by Ralph Fiennes) came into full physical form in the previous installment, no one believes Harry, forcing him to band together a secret rag-tag army of Hogwart's students to help him fight in the inevitable war of magics ahead of them.  The film is a great deal different from it's source material, seeing as the book is the longest in the series but the film is the shortest of the eight cinematic outings.  No matter, Yates & co. carefully stick to it's heart, core themes and main story arcs resulting in a wonderful dissection of the British school system and a comparison of similarities & differences of adult and youth.  It's the most grimly sinister of the series so far yet and let's us know it's only going to get darker and more grave as the body count begins piling up more and more.  I'm squeamish with delight.

4 horrifying Maggie Thatcher/Queen Lizzie II hybrids out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN [2004]

Director Alfonso Cuarón gets darker and weirder for the third Harry Potter film, The Prisoner of Azkaban.
It's back to Hogwart's and that means trouble is brewing, as Harry discovers a prisoner has escaped from the wizard's prison and means to put an end to the boy wizard.  The film is significantly darker and actually scarier than Chris Columbus' previous films, as it dives deeper into the heavy emotions that are beginning to weigh Harry down more and more as he grows older and more powerful.  The core characters are becoming more complex as is the storytelling, which finally begins to spiral into something more fleshed out and interesting than it ever was.   Cuarón brings a visual flair to the series which gives it a unique character all it's own, without straying too far from the tones that have already been established.  This is definitely the Potter film that finally proves the series deserves all the praise it's received.

4 snarky shrunken heads out of 5

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

It’s all fine for the first while, but once the painted white boulder that is Marlon Brando rolls into the story the entire production goes right off the rails. He seems to want to sabotage every scene he’s in, dragging everyone, including his Mini-Me, down with the whole tropical ship.
Kilmer didn't want to be there and it shows. His performance is shockingly bad.
Dir. John Frankenheimer is the only one with anything resembling an excuse for being off, he’d no time to prepare, having come to the project half a week into shooting after the previous director was removed. Still, he appears to make little effort to turn it into anything other than a pay cheque.
I feel sorry for Thewlis, Balk and Perlman, all of whom at least made some effort despite the odds stacked against them.

1½ hybrid moments out of 5

THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING [2014]

Eddie Redmayne's mesmerizing and powerful performance as English theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking is easily the main reason why I would recommend seeing director James Marsh's biographical drama The Theory Of Everything.
It follows Hawking's days at Cambridge University in the 1960's as he is diagnosed with motor neuron disease while he's falling in love with his future wife and coming up with some of his own soon-to-be revolutionary theories on time & space.  Aided by some fantastic supporting performances, particularly Felicity Jones, the film is lifted higher than it's actual writing which doesn't quite explore everything about the man it could have.  Fortunately it's acting, precise direction & photography and moving score from Jóhann Jóhannsson make it feel well worth the time invested in it.

3½ American accents out of 5

THE ZERO THEOREM [2013]

Director Terry Gilliam returns to his bizarre dystopian future form, as explored in Brazil and 12 Monkeys with The Zero Theorem.
Christophe Waltz does a fantastic job playing the tragic Qohen Leth who's lost in a world that doesn't want or need him.  The earnest Qohen is on the constant search for a definitive meaning to life but is assigned the job of confirming human existence is meaningless, which in turn gives his being some sort of purpose.  Gilliam's dismal paranoid future is candy colored and rich in texture which gives it a absurd sense of menace.  The film's making a pretty bold statement but it never feels heavy-handed and still pleases with it's eccentric characters and outlandish sets.
A fine return to form for Gilliam that reminds us sci-fi films can still be personal to the film-makers and not lost in a sea of merchandise.

3½ Churches of Batman The Redeemer out of 5

RED 2 [2013]

Galaxy Quest director Dean Parisot slips into the director's chair for the sequel to the 2010 action/comedy Red.
Once again Bruce Willy does what he does best and that's not take his action acting too seriously making for a pretty fun ride.  Mary Louise-Parker scene steals like no tomorrow with her adorably funny performance, while Helen Mirren & Byung Hun Lee bring an awesome Fast & Furious attitude with some wicked guns and vehicular carnage.  It's still wildly violent to the point of ridiculousness but manages to never keep a straight-face while the bullets fly and bones snap 'n crack.  As much fun as the film is, it's a bit too generic and feels like we've seen this story over and over and over again, leading me to believe if not for the fantastic cast it'd be pretty dull.

3 tingles for a Pringle out of 5

The Lady (2011)

The story of Aung San Suu Kyi, a woman torn between loyalty to her country and loyalty to her family. Aung represents one half of a struggle between democracy and a violent, corrupt military regime.
It's split between Rangoon (Burma) and Oxford (England) so it can focus on more than one event at any one time. It's not a happy film; the few and far between moments of joy are short lived but it never drags its heels.
Michelle gives a good performance; she's capable of projecting both great strength and concerned vulnerability.
It's based on true events that you can google if you want more information. The film picks an opportune moment to finish its telling, but parts of the story are still ongoing today.

4 steel orchids out of 5

WAR HORSE [2011]

Steven Spielberg brings Michael Morpurgo's children's novel War Horse to the big screen with mixed results.  It rapidly goes back and forth between run-of-the-mill emotionally manipulative schmaltz to moments that are actually quite engaging and effective.  Not one of Spielberg's best nor is it his worst.  

2½ barbed wire missteps out of 5