The Score (2001)

Nick Wells (De Niro) is a jazz club owner who exists in an almost exclusive mood-lighting environment when indoors. In addition to running his club (which he hardly does) he's a safe-cracking thief, a talent that he puts to use only if the situation satisfies his calculated risk assessment. After decades of such risk he's on the verge of giving up. But there's one final job to be done, the biggest 'score' of his life, which naturally comes with the biggest risk.
It's the type of film that I enjoyed, because it's well-made and the performances of the actors are all commendable, but have no desire to ever watch again. As a one-time thing it passed the hours just fine. It's a slow-boil, purposefully holding back the pace until the last half hour.

3 night shifts out of 5

The Godfather (1972)

Even though Mumble Brando sounds like a man with a gob full of marbles, his diction literally governs the first part of Coppola's Mafia trilogy. The Godfather's words linger, influencing scenes he isn't even a part of. His voice whispers innocuous assurances while his persona threatens: all who come seeking Don Vito's aid leave thinking themselves fortuitous but each one leaves bent to the Don's will, crippled by a future repayment favour.
The remainder of the film is electrically charged by Pacino and Caan. For both men the Corleone name opens doors and closes coffin lids.
Coppola is self-indulgent in the first half hour but assuredly precise with the story and with his direction once things really kick off.

4½ offers that can't be refused out of 5

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)

It’s all fine for the first while, but once the painted white boulder that is Marlon Brando rolls into the story the entire production goes right off the rails. He seems to want to sabotage every scene he’s in, dragging everyone, including his Mini-Me, down with the whole tropical ship.
Kilmer didn't want to be there and it shows. His performance is shockingly bad.
Dir. John Frankenheimer is the only one with anything resembling an excuse for being off, he’d no time to prepare, having come to the project half a week into shooting after the previous director was removed. Still, he appears to make little effort to turn it into anything other than a pay cheque.
I feel sorry for Thewlis, Balk and Perlman, all of whom at least made some effort despite the odds stacked against them.

1½ hybrid moments out of 5

Reflections in a Golden Eye (1967)

Given the chance I’ll always opt for the director’s preferred version of a film. I’ve never regretted that decision so badly before. John Huston coloured everything with a golden hue to make the title more relevant. It’s as if the film negative has been covered in amber or steeped in piss. It was distracting and hideous. Searching for pictures of the full colour version that was subsequently released turned up imagery that looks beautiful, lively and altogether more appealing. However, with Brando’s incomprehensible accent, awful acting and the stagnant plot being the same, the chances of me ever sitting down to it a second time are nil.

1½ peepers out of 5

Candy (1968)

Everyone wants a piece of Candy. Her innocence and willingness to do good land her in a lot of water and not all of it’s hot.
It's a satire based on the book by Terry Southern, a significant player in the counter-culture movement of the 1960s. It attracted a quality cast, so I assume it was considered of great importance among cult viewers of the era, but it's nothing more than a string of farcical sexual encounters and a number of great men embarrassing themselves thrown haphazardly together. That may well have been Dir. Christian Marquand's intention, but for me the absurdity never really satisfied.

1 Beatle in the bushes out of 5

Last Tango In Paris (1972)

Brando mumbles his way through Bertolucci’s notorious romantic drama for over two hours in two different languages. His character is drawn to shadows and places of abandonment but not always in a literal way. He brings a frightening intensity to the role that’s unforgettable.
His co-star Maria Schneider does an excellent job playing against him; she’s open to truth but remains secretive, a mirror and a distorting glass.
The film’s built around arbitrary events, but there’s nothing random about Bertolucci’s direction; it’s precise and calculated. If only the same could be said of the script. Some exceptional dialogue is marred by some ridiculous dialogue that deserved no less than the cutting room floor.

3½ easy spreads out of 5

Superman Returns (2006)

Kudos to Dir. Bryan Singer for not giving us another unnecessary franchise reboot. Unfortunately, his continuation of the Superman story isn't very good. Brandon Routh is the only one of the principal actors that I felt was well-cast. Kevin Spacey looks the part but he brings nothing unique to the role of Luthor. Kate Bosworth is too young, too empty and just plain shitty.
I liked that it was both respectful and referential to the older films, the comics, and even the Fleischer cartoons, but ultimately the film is much too long and much too boring to recommend.

2 comic covers recreated out of 5

Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)

Richard Donner shot Superman I + II back to back, but production stopped on II before it was finished. For reasons too long to explain Richard Lester shot a new version of II and it got released. That film contained footage from both directors but was primarily Lester's. This superior cut is as close to Donner’s original vision as was possible to get. Wiki claims that approximately 83% of the footage is Donner’s.
It’s still flawed but less so. Much of the crap has been trimmed (although the fight over Metropolis remains). Superman is more forceful in his decision making. Marlon Brando's scenes are restored. Unreleased cues from John Williams are used. Almost everything is better. Even if you own the other one, still buy this one.

A super strong 3½ restorations out of 5

Superman: The Movie (1978)

The original cosplayer needs no introduction. The first 50 minutes are fantastic. Director Donner brought a real sense of scope and intimacy with his framing and his timing, but the remainder of the film is less successful.
When Reeve appears a shift in the story begins and it’s a bad one. I'm not blaming Reeve, he was perfect. The problem is Lex Luthor is non-threatening. The dilemma that Superman faces is underplayed and the resolution is weak.
I believe what makes the film so enduring is Reeve's and Kidder’s onscreen chemistry and the iconic musical score.
The extended cut adds extra Brando, which pleased me greatly.

3 cheers for bulletproof spandex out of 5