Are We Good? (2025)

A portrait on Marc Maron, a neurotic, embittered comedian who deals with the loss of his partner, filmmaker Lynn Shelton, during the pandemic. Maron has always had a dark, sardonic disposition when he bares his soul on stage, but here he struggles to make light out of his grief. He comes off disagreeable and cantankerous most of the time, which makes him hard to stomach, yet is completely understandable given the circumstances, and honestly makes him feel more relatable than other personalities who have nothing original to say.

3 litter boxes out of 5

The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist (2026)

What is A.I.? That's the first question the film poses and I was already lost from there because nobody seems to agree on anything. Interviews with leading experts in the field are juxtaposed with the story of a guy whose wife has recently become pregnant and is worried about the world their children will inherit. Predictably, it's filled with lots of doom and gloom and fearmongering, but it's a complex, multifaceted issue. Told in three parts—the pessimists, the optimists, and the realists—there is also a fourth part to the story: the people getting rich off this technology, which is really all it boils down to. Like the Space Race 2.0, it's a rush to whoever can get to the finish line first. The scary part is that this technology exists in the hands of everyone, so it can be exploited for their own gain depending on their moral values, which is where the true evil lies. At a certain point, I find myself on the side of the robots.

Part of the problem with this doc is that technology moves so quickly that a lot of this information already feels obsolete. Before long, it becomes clear that none of these so-called "experts" know what the fuck they're talking about. It's all endless speculation. There are good and bad outcomes, but nobody knows for sure what will happen. No one can predict the future, not even A.I. 

In short, this movie stressed me the fuck out. I did not feel assured by the end.

2½ Arthur C. Clarke predictions out of 5

Animal Farm (1999)

Of all the various filmed versions of Orwell's dystopian novella, this one might be the most disturbing because of how uncanny valley it is to see this material adapted to live action. Through a combination of real livestock, puppetry and animatronics (courtesy of Jim Henson's Creature Shop), the effect is creepy as fuck, which is appropriate for the allegorical themes contained within. It tones down the political language, but despite the attractive way it's packaged, this is clearly not intended for young audiences. Somewhere in the dark recesses of my psyche, I always tend to conflate this film with The Island of Dr. Moreau.

2½ legs bad out of 5

Animal Farm (2025)

"All animals are equal, but some are more equal than others."

George Orwell adapted for family audiences. Except I would feel bad for any little kid who was dragged to see this. Not because it's bad, but because it's bleak and depressing as hell. Barnyard animals run away and form their own society founded on freedom and equality for all, which lasts for about a day before the pigs become corrupt with power while the rest of the animals are used as slave labor. It's an ambitious take on the authoritarian allegory of the novel, transposed to the modern era with overt political ties to corporate consumerism. I give it major props for what it attempts to do, at any rate.

I can't wait until they do a children's version of Nineteen Eighty-Four next.

2½ laughter houses out of 5

Apex (2026)

An adrenaline seeker finds herself being hunted in the Australian wilderness. We've seen this kind of cat and mouse chase a million times before, but what this film has to offer are gorgeous scenic vistas filtered through Netflix's color degradation system. It's a decent survival adventure thriller that held my attention the entire time, mostly due to how photogenic Charlize Theron remains. I give this film credit for making everything look painful and realistic.

3 whitewater rapids out of 5

Arco (2025)

Remember when rainbows were cool? They were used to express magic and wonder before they got appropriated for other uses. In this French animated film, rainbows indicate visitors from the future. In the year 2075, the family household unit has been replaced by robot help for the most part. A lonely little girl meets a young boy named Arco, who has become displaced from his family through time and needs to recover his flight crystal to get back home. The simple, handcrafted look feels reminiscent of anime, while the slow burn storytelling gives way to a unique experience that lands with the viewer.

3 bird calls out of 5

Note: I saw the English dub, though I expect the original French to be superior.

Avatar: Fire and Ash (2025)

Avatar has a new skin. While the first two films introduced us to the forest and the sea clans, we now have the ash clan. All that's missing is the air element...

James Cameron does it again. By creating a rich, fully inhabited world that you would rather live in, you forgive all the flaws in this epic sprawling picture, filled with warring clans and transparent allusions to racism. Visually, it's a 10/10 movie; like your desktop wallpaper come to life. Cameron has masterful command over the material and takes us to dazzling, staggering heights filled with beauty, wonder and imagination. Individual moments shine, but most of it feels like CGI on overdrive with things exploding in the background, which overshadows the drama and emotional stakes. The new villain Varang (Oona Chaplin) oozes with sensuality, while the most interesting character remains the teenage Kiri (Sigourney Weaver), but there are too many storylines and the whole thing loses focus quickly. The fundamental flaw of these movies is that they're way too fucking long. And it's starting to feel repetitive at this point. I enjoyed it, but I also breathed a sigh of relief when it was finally over.

3½ breathing devices out of 5

Note: Luckily, this film does feature a conclusive enough ending if Cameron chooses not to continue with his planned sequels. We'll see what happens.

Anaconda (2025)

Behind the scenes on an Anaconda movie turns into a real life anaconda movie in this meta reboot featuring a tight knit of childhood friends who team up to make their filmmaking dreams come true. It's funny to a degree, although the trailers do a good job of ruining all the surprises. It's very broad comedy, but preferable as an alternative to a soulless remake. Familiarity with the original film is not required, but recommended for maximum fan service enjoyment.

2½ shy whizzes out of 5

Anaconda (1997)

A documentary film crew on an expedition in the Amazon crosses paths with a snake hunter searching for a legendary giant anaconda in this cheesy horror adventure flick. The standout here is Jon Voight as the former priest turned jungle raider. The blend of practical effects and early CGI is jarring at times, but all part of its odd nostalgic appeal. Kind of like a budget Jurassic Park. 

It's a dumb creature feature, but kind of enjoyable for the same reasons.

3 digestible meals out of 5

Anemone (2025)

Daniel Day-Lewis briefly comes out of retirement for his first film role since 2017's Phantom Thread. It's a gloomy drama about a hermit living in the woods that is visited by his estranged brother who tries to get him to make amends. What this mostly amounts to are a lot of slooow monologues set against the backdrop of gorgeous natural landscapes accompanied by ambient music. It's brooding and insistent, and there are some interesting visual sequences, but it doesn't really go anywhere worthwhile throughout the entirety of its 2-hour journey. The performances are standout, but that's not nearly my issue with it.

2 hailstorms out of 5

Amazons (1986)

At a certain point, all of these movies start to blur together. What separates this one from the rest of the pack is a "tribe" of warrior women (well, two) and a lion cub posing as a lioness while playfully batting at its enemies. It's nice to look at, but it's tediously slow, not much happens and it's not very satisfying.

1½ rope crossings out of 5

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Set immediately after the events of AVP, they apparently didn't learn anything the first time around. This was tough to get through. Only diehards need apply.

½ a Predalien crossover out of 5

Alien vs. Predator (2004)

AKA: AVP

Riffing off an Easter egg featured in Predator 2, the monsters do battle with one another. Paul 'Wack Shit' Anderson picks up the slack. Here's a tip: if the title of your movie is AVP, don't revolve half the screen time around humans. Unfortunately, this venture wasn't as fun as the other legendary villain battle, although it succeeds in inextricably linking these two franchises forever.

1 ugly motherfucker out of 5

Anniversary (2025)

Would you like to spend a 25th wedding anniversary with an insufferable group of people? How about two hours? At the center is a new political movement, called "The Change" which sets to tear this family apart. An awful movie where everything is black and white, and details are kept from the audience in order to keep it as generic as possible to serve its shallow agenda.

1 fear-mongering out of 5

After the Hunt (2025)

A college student accuses her professor of inappropriate conduct. What kind of inappropriate conduct? The fuck if I know. I found this movie completely insufferable and infuriating, especially how everybody intellectualizes and talks circles around the issues without ever saying anything of value. The whole thing seems poised to generate controversy, yet I still have no idea what point it was trying to make. That everybody is a piece of shit? That was my general takeaway. I could have told you that without wasting two hours.

2 ulcers out of 5

Americana (2023)

A strange movie that reminded me of Strange Darling at times. Told slightly out of order, it's fun to see how all the pieces fit together. It's like a modern day cowboys and Indians, with a Tarantino and Coen Brothers-like influence that can be felt throughout. I enjoyed the randomness and silliness quite a bit.

3½ ghost shirts out of 5

Terrified (2017)

AKA: Aterrados

Not to be confused with Terrifier, this creepy Argentine supernatural horror flick offers some effective scares (including one that was stolen for Smile). Honestly, the less said, the better. Go into this one blind, but eyes wide open.

3 cabinets of horrors out of 5

The Addams Family XXX (2011)

Grandmama Addams sucks off Lurch. Thing diddles Morticia. Pugsley loses his virginity to a whore. Wednesday takes on two dudes. Gomez and Morticia fuck. There aren't enough stars to prescribe an accurate rating. Features a fair deal of "plot" for a film of this nature, and there's enough of an effort to round out the humor, but you're mostly fast-forwarding to get to the fantasy sequences.

The only important question with movies of this nature: Is it fap-worthy? Yes.

It might have gotten an extra star if they had the balls to end in a family orgy.

1 Thing in a box out of 5

In a Nutshell: Putting the NUT in Your Shell Since 2011™

Addams Family Reunion (1998)

After Raul Julia died, no one wanted to make another Addams Family sequel. So in 1998 they went back to the drawing board and recast all the characters (aside from Lurch and Thing's hand model). It's hard to know whether to call this direct-to-video rubbish the third in the "trilogy" or a standalone effort. Tim Curry and Darryl Hannah take over as Gomez and Morticia and do the best they can with the rote material. Unfortunately, the studio notes for this movie were to make it as family-friendly as possible and eliminate most of the dark, sardonic humor that is the staple of the series. The result is sadly forgettable. 

There wouldn't be another entry until 2019 when it went completely CGI.

1 Waltzheimer's disease out of 5

After Hours (1985)

Martin Scorsese's pitch-black comedy is the perfect example of a cult movie that keeps getting better and better the more times you see it. I've watched this probably a half dozen times throughout various points in my life and yet so much of it remains embedded in my subconscious. It perfectly manages to encapsulate that feeling of 'after hours,' when things don't quite seem real and yet possibilities remain endless. It takes place over one night, in what feels like either a fever dream or a nightmarish hellscape, depending on your lucidity. It's best to take this journey alone, without any prep beforehand.

Watch it after midnight while severely sleep deprived for best results.

5 uncanny sculptures out of 5