Balls Up (2026)

A couple of marketers develop the Balls Up, a condom designed to cover up the balls as well, and pitch it as the official condom of Brazil in the World Cup, before inciting an international incident that has them on the run. I'm sad that this came from one half of the Farrelly Brothers because it's a poor attempt at recreating the raunchy R-rated comedies of its heyday and it lacks any heart.

Buddy comedies usually build on the chemistry of its actors, but Paul Walter Hauser does most of the heavy lifting here. There's so much talent involved in front of and behind the camera, it's appalling how disastrous this turned out.

1½ minnows swimming upstream out of 5

Springsteen: Deliver Me from Nowhere (2025)

Jeremy Allen White (The Bear) takes on the Boss in this unconventional biopic that takes place during the conception of his 1982 album, Nebraska. Bruce is a difficult perfectionist who does things his own way, in all its imperfections, while coming to terms with his past, but the tortured artist angle gets tiring. J.A.W. does a good enough job, but it's the material that is lacking. There are so many great stories they could have told here, but instead decided to do one that feels trite and uninspired, which skips over the most interesting parts.

2½ demo tapes out of 5

Americana (2023)

A strange movie that reminded me of Strange Darling at times. Told slightly out of order, it's fun to see how all the pieces fit together. It's like a modern day cowboys and Indians, with a Tarantino and Coen Brothers-like influence that can be felt throughout. I enjoyed the randomness and silliness quite a bit.

3½ ghost shirts out of 5

The Naked Gun (2025)

Son of a gun. 31 years later, this series gets resuscitated by Seth MacFarlane and The Lonely Island's Akiva Schaffer, with Liam Neeson playing the part of Frank Drebin Jr. (no doubt cast because he was listed next alphabetically). Similar to Leslie Nielsen's turn in Airplane!, Liam Neeson gets to show off his comedy chops, and if there's one person who could nail the Priscilla Presley role, it's Pamela Anderson. It's a loving homage in the best possible sense, and while it doesn't come close to the original, the scattershot approach hits its target quite a few times. It works best with a receptive crowd, and it's dense enough that you can rewatch it and pick up on different gags. It's undeniably dumb, but kind of refreshing to see this lost style of comedy back in 2025.

3 unlikely threesomes out of 5

The Fantastic Four: First Steps (2025)

Fourth time's the charm. 

The Marvel Cinematic Universe kicks off Phase Six of the Multiverse Saga with its inaugural introduction of Marvel's First Family. Taking place in an alternate timeline (Earth-828), it's a retro-futuristic, sci-fi take that works to great effect here. A shiny herald from outer space warns of a planet devourer, just as Reed Richards and Sue Storm announce their own bombshell to the world. This feels like a scaled down, intimate story, even as it encompasses the likes of Silver Surfer and Galactus while the fate of billions hangs in the balance. It manages to inject humanity and gravitas to the characters, making them feel like a real family. After numerous attempts in 1994, 2005, 2007 and 2015, they finally do justice to these characters. Best of all, you don't need to know anything else about the MCU in order to follow along. Similar to Superman (2025), it's not an origin story; it throws you straight into this world while remaining completely standalone from the rest (for now). So if you've been holding out on these movies, this is a good jumping off point. It's all part of the new direction of the MCU which will focus on the "hits" only. This will be followed by a new Spider-Man and Avengers movie in 2026, eventually culminating in Secret Wars.

3 clobberin' times out of 5

Note: Spider-Man: Brand New Day is scheduled to be released exactly one year from now; the longest time between theatrical dates in a good while.

Old Dads (2023)

Three aging fathers find themselves raging against an increasingly politically correct world that is out of step with how they grew up. If you're a fan of Bill Burr's anger-fueled stand-up rants, this'll be right up your alley. Personally, I found it refreshing; the anger is cathartic. My only complaint is that it doesn't go hard enough. Some of the conventional choices in this film kind of took the steam out of it. It always bothers me whenever people try to claim this stuff is conservative or "boomer" humor (technically Gen X), when it's merely calling out the bullshit and the hypocrisies of modern life. I find it very telling that I relate more to these "old dads" than I do to people of my own generation.

3½ rap lyrics you sing when no one else is around out of 5

The Instigators (2024)

A crime caper involving a half-baked scheme and a couple of dopes who are ill-equipped to deal with it. It's enjoyable in all of its incompetence and is capably carried on the shoulders of its charismatic leads. With an all-star supporting cast, it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes, but it's the type of disposable entertainment you won't remember a day or two later.

2½ therapist hostages out of 5

Orion and the Dark (2024)

Inside Out, as scripted by Charlie Kaufman. Orion is a kid who is scared of everything. He's obsessed with death and has an existential fear of the unknown. He contemplates all of life's big questions: What happens after it all goes dark? This is Charlie Brown if he was distilled down to a pure anxiety disorder. Pretty heavy shit for a kid's movie.

After a total blackout, Orion encounters the embodiment of the Dark, who takes him out on a grand adventure (à la Little Nemo in Slumberland) and forces him to confront his fears. Also in tow are the other nighttime entities: Sleep, Quiet, Sweet Dreams, Insomnia, and Unexplained Noises. (What a bunch of assholes!) You can kind of tell where this is going, but there are actually layers that are gradually peeled back and offer varying narrative perspectives. It goes some interesting places that few children's films would ever dare to go, which means it might be too intense for the little ones (though it would have been perfect for me). Once the curtain is finally lifted, there is an additional story being told that can only be appreciated by grown ass adults. Unfortunately, you get the feeling Kaufman's original script has been watered down in some respects to make it more agreeable for general audiences. You can sense they're holding back and are beholden to a more optimistic, conventional approach. As such, it's not quite as good as it could have been, but you can see all the potential that was there on the page.

3½ gilded lilies out of 5