Remarkably Bright Creatures (2026)

"Why can humans not use their millions of words to simply tell one another what they desire?"

A lonely, aging cleaning woman befriends the octopus in her aquarium's exhibit tank while training her impetuous young replacement. It's a light dramedy with some heavy themes, not likely to ruffle many feathers (or tangle any tentacles), but it's pleasant enough in its familiar execution.

3 camouflage patterns out of 5

Ladyhawke (1985)

I think one can only appreciate these older fantasy films 40 years after the fact. You have to overlook a flurry of budgetary issues, atrocious acting and uneven plot pacing, but overall, they provide a charming outlook which feels oddly quaint in hindsight. Richard Donner's film certainly has the budget, but Matthew Broderick is weirdly miscast and the humor doesn't quite work, while Michelle Pfeiffer quietly embodies the mysterious title character. It's a gentle tale, not bound to ruffle many feathers, but I enjoy it as light romantic fantasy.

3 days without a night out of 5

Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024)

Harold is a boy who lives inside of a children's book, who uses a purple crayon to create things out of thin air. When he grows up, and the narration has stopped, he decides to leave the storybook world in order to seek out his creator, where his idealistic views bump up against the harsh realities of life.

Zachary Levi seems to get a lot of hate lately, but I've always thought he was one of those comedic actors who deserved meatier roles, like Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure this joke has been made before, but the character of Harold felt very two-dimensional. Library Gary (Jemaine Clement) was the real highlight here as the failed fantasy writer who is jealous of Harold's abilities. 

I thought the film was serviceable; very much a watered-down family film where no one gets hurt and a moral neatly wrapped up in a bow at the end.

2 spider-flies out of 5

The Instigators (2024)

A crime caper involving a half-baked scheme and a couple of dopes who are ill-equipped to deal with it. It's enjoyable in all of its incompetence and is capably carried on the shoulders of its charismatic leads. With an all-star supporting cast, it's not a bad way to spend 90 minutes, but it's the type of disposable entertainment you won't remember a day or two later.

2½ therapist hostages out of 5

An Education (2009)

I knew after just two minutes of hitting the play button that I was going to enjoy An Education, and that even if it didn't wound my heart completely it would at least leave a lasting footprint or two in my sand.
It's a coming of age drama set in London, 1961. Schoolgirl Jenny (Carey Mulligan) has a bright future, but love gets in the way, as it often does at that age. The focus of her affections is the older and more worldly David (Peter Sarsgaard), a well-dressed cad who deems it appropriate to date schoolgirls.
Carey Mulligan is phenomenal as the youth who makes adult decisions based on feelings and intuition. She reminded me of a young Jenny Agutter in many ways, channelling the same kind of captivating sincerity and believability. To experience her performance is reason enough to watch it, but there's the added draw that it was scripted by author Nick Hornby.

4 French phrases out of 5

WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT [2016]

Funny girl Tina Fey takes a bit more of a serious tone in director Glenn Ficcara & John Requa's humorous war drama Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.
Inspired by journalist Kim Baker's time she spent in Afghanistan, during the early years of the war, where she was one of the first American civilians to experience what was really going on there.
These folks are so crazily focused on their career in such a self-centered manner they're hard to like, so thankfully the great cast humanizes them enough to make us see the world from this insane point of view.  WTF brings all sorts of interesting ideas to the table but it simply does not have enough time to fully explore them to make any sort of strong emotional connection.
With another 10 or 15 minutes to flesh out it's army of themes and topics this film would have been an thoroughly engaging character study.

3 beautiful mysterious IKEA bags out of 5

STRANGE MAGIC [2015]

Sound designer Gary Rydstrom makes his feature length directorial debut with George Lucas' CGI animated Strange Magic.
It's the story of a fairy princess who finds herself in the middle of a forest battle of goblings, elves, imps and various other strange creatures over a very powerful love potion.  It's basically A Midsummer Night's Dream given the Glee/American Idol make-over with it's attack of poorly reconstructed pop songs from all over the musical map.  The character designs are sloppily uninspired, the story is an uneven mess of boredom and the whole affair is just really really annoying.
It's perfectly acceptable to feel sorry for oneself should they find themselves having to sit through it from beginning to end.

1 petal out of 5

THE NORMAL HEART [2014]

Ryan Murphy (Glee, American Horror Story) has a way of shamelessly pandering to a specific audience and spoon-feeding them by the truckloads to match exactly what their generic tastes might be.
The Normal Heart is no different as it is handed to the Academy audience on a silver platter.
Based on Larry Kramer's play of the same name, the film follows the rise of the AIDS crisis in the early '80's within the gay community.  With it's heavy subject matter, we're treated to some pretty great performances that never let a lot of the melodramatic speeches get too out-of-hand.  Murphy's direction isn't as flamboyant as it usually is (with the exception of a few distracting sequences), instead he focuses on the human drama that is actually quite compelling for the better half of the film.
Awards season might have swallowed this like honey but don't let it completely scare you away.

3 Rolodex cards out of 5

THE TRUTH ABOUT EMANUEL [2013]

Written & directed by Francesca Gregorini, The Truth About Emanuel is a dark, haunting drama that explores themes of death, grief, growing up and mental illness.
The film's greatest strength is without a doubt the two leading performances of Skins' Kaya Scodelario, who portrays a intelligent yet troubled kid with a smart assed response to everything, and Jessica Biel as a recently divorced single mother dealing with some loose screws.  They display a wonderful chemistry that is unfortunately sullied by some spots of horrible dialogue.  What's odd is the film has some moments of beautifully poetic dialogue that you won't soon forget.
The whole movie seems to rapidly teeter back & forth between a hypnotizingly original indie-drama and a overly melodramatic TV movie which can be quite frustrating at times.

3 fish out of 5

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY [2013]

Dan Scanlon, director of Tracy, brings a lot of color and flair to the prequel to the 2001 Pixar hit Monsters, Inc. with the equally as entertaining Monsters University.
Like the first film, it doesn't quite meet the imaginative high standards of other Pixar films like Up, Wall-E or the Toy Story series but it has a thoughtful charm and thoroughly wholesome energy that leaves you smiling.  I can easily say I quite enjoyed this one and would watch it again to feel the warm & fuzzies.

3½ fifty foot tall librarians out of 5

IDENTITY [2003]

Director James Mangold crafts Identity into a wild, twistin' & turnin' mystery/thriller that is more fun than it is intelligent.  

A dark and stormy night at a creepy old motel screams out Psycho but throw in an ensemble cast of characters who all share mysteries of their own and you have deliciously evil whodunnit on your hands.  It's not high art but it runs in, does it thing and leaves you without a bitter taste.  

3 washloads of death out of 5

Spider-Man 2.1 (2004)

The first of the Spidey sequels strives to be more mature and less comic-booky in approach. Peter is dealing with his emotions in the aftermath of the first film. His movements while in costume are confident. His life out of costume is complicated. It's a more engaging story. The baddie is menacing while retaining a certain amount of relatable, human flaws. Even ninety percent of the action sequences are good times. And best of all there's less needy-whore Mary Jane. Director Raimi has fun with a hospital scene that'll have Evil Dead fans smiling and clapping with one hand.

4 sticky wrists out of 5

Species (1995)

Scientists make an alien/human hybrid using DNA data transmitted from the deep dark corners of space. You just know that’s going to end well.
Species could have been really amazing. The first half hour is great. The creature design is excellent. The CGI is bad. Natasha Henstridge is surprisingly good. Forest Whitaker is his usual great self. Everyone else is wooden. The pacing is clumsy. The finale is abysmal.  In the end it’s more shit than shine, but has a few moments that will please sci-fi/horror fans.

2½ parent traps out of 5

The Tempest (2010)

An all-star cast, special effects, and a modern, rock tinged soundtrack (?) was not enough to save this snoozefest. In all fairness, I'm not really familiar with this play, but this movie did nothing to convince me otherwise. Russell Brand and Alfred Molina (as the two drunks) were great fun, but the rest bored me with their straitlaced interpretations. No offense to Shakespeare, but in my opinion the material was handled too blandly for contemporary audiences to properly digest.

1 save the text for the classroom out of 5