Dog Man (2025)

This is the darkest premise for a kid's movie yet. After surviving an explosion, a man's body is stitched to his dog's head and that somehow makes him a superhero. It sidesteps all the uncomfortable questions: How do all the motor functions work? Who is actually in control, the man or the dog? Why does he sometimes seem intelligent, and other times he's just a dog? Does the man's soul exist trapped within the mind of a dog? He appears to exist in some kind of Orwellian nightmare where he's less than human. But the film never lingers on the horrifying details. I kept getting caught up in the logistics of this world, such as, why do all the cats talk, but the dog can't (not even as a "dog man")?

It's a highly ambitious attempt to establish a new IP, if not frankly exhausting. 

1½ Flippy ki-yay flippy-flippers out of 5

Harold and the Purple Crayon (2024)

Harold is a boy who lives inside of a children's book, who uses a purple crayon to create things out of thin air. When he grows up, and the narration has stopped, he decides to leave the storybook world in order to seek out his creator, where his idealistic views bump up against the harsh realities of life.

Zachary Levi seems to get a lot of hate lately, but I've always thought he was one of those comedic actors who deserved meatier roles, like Ryan Reynolds. I'm sure this joke has been made before, but the character of Harold felt very two-dimensional. Library Gary (Jemaine Clement) was the real highlight here as the failed fantasy writer who is jealous of Harold's abilities. 

I thought the film was serviceable; very much a watered-down family film where no one gets hurt and a moral neatly wrapped up in a bow at the end.

2 spider-flies out of 5

Dashing Through the Snow (2023)

A jaded social worker meets a man claiming to be Santa Claus who is on the run from people who are after him. This was okay, just extremely generic and predictable. One of those movies where the audience knows he's Santa, every other character knows he's Santa, but the protagonist refuses to believe, despite all of the constant unexplained phenomena. And you can guess how it all ends. Once again, another movie that failed to inspire the 'Christmas spirit' in me. Oh well, I'll keep looking.

2 tablets out of 5