Monkey Shines (1988)

AKA: Monkey Shines: An Experiment in Fear

After being stricken down in an accident that renders him quadriplegic, a young man is gifted a service animal in the form of a sweet and lovable lab monkey being treated with an intelligence serum, who he quickly develops a close bond with. The first half of this film is genuinely engaging, although it loses some steam as it falls into the more predictable pitfalls of the genre. 

Despite the prevalence of the monkey with cymbals on all the advertisements (reminiscent of Stephen King's short story The Monkey), there were in fact real capuchin monkeys used in the film and the toy never once appears on screen. This has always driven me fucking nuts.

3 monkey mind melds out of 5

Dog Man (2025)

This is the darkest premise for a kid's movie yet. After surviving an explosion, a man's body is stitched to his dog's head and that somehow makes him a superhero. It sidesteps all the uncomfortable questions: How do all the motor functions work? Who is actually in control, the man or the dog? Why does he sometimes seem intelligent, and other times he's just a dog? Does the man's soul exist trapped within the mind of a dog? He appears to exist in some kind of Orwellian nightmare where he's less than human. But the film never lingers on the horrifying details. I kept getting caught up in the logistics of this world, such as, why do all the cats talk, but the dog can't (not even as a "dog man")?

It's a highly ambitious attempt to establish a new IP, if not frankly exhausting. 

1½ Flippy ki-yay flippy-flippers out of 5

Lousy Carter (2024)

Carter is a failed animator who has settled into a life of boring academia. He goes to his doctor and finds out he has only 6 months to live. What will he do with his time left? Not much, it turns out. David Krumholtz embodies the deeply sardonic deadbeat who is already so indifferent to life that it doesn't really affect him much. The most unsurprising part is that it lives up to its name.

Bob Byington (Somebody Up There Likes Me) is an interesting indie filmmaker who I respect a lot more than most of his output. His films have been labeled "mumblecore" because they're mostly dialogue-driven, but I value the amount of weirdness he imbues in his characters, even when it's not a total success.

2 bowling alley funerals out of 5

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER [1992]

Producer Fran Rubel Kuzui tries her hand at directing then unknown screenwriter Joss Whedon's comedy/horror script Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
It's the age-old story of a Californian high school cheerleader who is unreluctantly chosen to be part of a long line of vampire hunters.
It has neither the dramatic arcs or colorful characters Whedon's now known for but it still features glimpses of cheeky dialogue that no one but title character actress Kristy Swanson seems to know how to properly deliver.  It's pretty obvious nobody seemed to understand what sort of script they were working with and it results in a tonal disgrace.  It has it's good intentions but it's poorly executed.  With something this forgettable who would have known what was to come in five years time?

2 acoustic stakes out of 5

GET OUT [2017]

Funnyman Jordan Peele makes his directorial debut with the surprisingly witty and disturbing satire Get Out.
This socially conscious horror film tells of a black man who visits his white girlfriend's family for the first time and things get really feckin' weird.
It's satirical critiques on racism and elitism are very apparent but never weigh down the entertaining thrill ride that this is.  As a matter of fact, it's often quite humorous whether it be laugh out loud funny or leaves one in nervous confused laughter.  Peele's directing and writing is allowed to naturally unfold allowing the tension to build with frightening precision.  His love for cinema was very apparent with his Key & Peele sketch comedy work.  So it comes as no surprise that the director is quite comfortable with the medium and seals the deal as promising new film-maker.

4 bizarre late night jogs out of 5

MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES [2016]

TV director Jake Szymanski makes his theatrical debut with the vulgar comedy stylings of Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
Two party-hardy brothers need to bring dates to their sister's Hawaiian wedding in order to prove to their family that they don't fuck everything up, only to find the girls they bring are a lot more trouble than they can handle.
The silly comedy, rather than being particularly smart or charming, benefits heavily from the chemistry of the hilarious cast with Aubrey Plaza stealing every scene she's in.  Young Canadians will get a kick out of (or shrivel up in horror) seeing beloved youth TV personality Sugar Lyn Beard do stuff they'd never imagine.  It's not the type of comedy that will be remembered for much but while it's on it revels in it's crude hilarity with disgusting enthusiasm.

3 happy happy endings out of 5

TRUMBO [2015]

Austin Powers director Jay Roach takes a more serious approach to film with the lively biographical period-drama Trumbo.  

Bryan Cranston shines as acclaimed 1940's screenwriter Dalton Trumbo, who was famously blacklisted from Hollywood, for his communist beliefs, but continued to work and win major awards under a pseudonym.
The script has a tough time justifying itself, with so much going on it never really gives us a clear example as to why Trumbo was such a genius, unless you're already quite familiar with his work.  It's riddled with tired clichés that are all thankfully made a little more digestible with an amazing ensemble cast that is boiling over the edge with appeal.

3 grumpy tubby times out of 5

SELMA [2014]

Director Ava DuVernay's historical drama Selma depicts the 1965 march in Alabama led by Martin Luther King, Jr. to secure voting rights for the African-American community.
David Oyelowo does an excellent job as Dr. King with a strong and demanding presence but also channels a fragile side when needed.  Juggling the ugliness of the times and the stirring speeches without ever losing it's impact makes for some gripping cinema.  While it educates the viewer of time we shouldn't forget it never feels too dry or like we're being force-fed.  There's many films like this but it never hurts to be reminded, especially in this day and age, where many of the topics covered are sadly still quite relevant.

4 Nobel Peace Prizes out of 5

I KNOW THAT VOICE [2013]

Lawrence Shapiro's documentary I Know That Voice is a passion project to shine a well-deserved spotlight on the legions of talented voice-actors we'd never recognize on the street.
It offers some interesting insights into the craft,  the hard work that goes into it, what actor does what job better, the often difficult job of dubbing anime, the love of it's comic convention fans and a bit of history of it's origins.  Through all it's interesting points and facts it's just as equally entertaining watching all these actors do what the do best, even when the microphone isn't on.
One of the most delightfully nerdy experiences I've had with a documentary in a long time.

4 white black guys out of 5

BAD MILO! [2013]

Jacob Vaughan's horror comedy, Bad Milo! is a throwback to the '80's creature features, by using chirpy Mogwai-esque sound effects to rubber puppets & animatronics.
The first half of the film is hilariously stupid but fun, as it completely grosses you out with it's story about a murderous rage demon that makes it's home up a stressed out man's anus.  As the second half of the film spews out the joke begins to wear off but is salvaged by a few moments of great dialogue bits here and there. By the premise alone, you know this isn't going to be Citizen Kane but if you're in the mood for this sort of "shit" then it is worth a look at.

3 ancient myths surrounding the anus out of 5

THE LONE RANGER [2013]

Director Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp of Pirates Of The Caribbean re-team for the first film adaptation of The Lone Ranger in well over 30 years.
Like all Verbinski adventure films, it's overly bloated and a running length that could use a good 20-25 minutes lopped off.   However it's Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp's humorous chemistry and the silly but outrageously fun action sequences that kept my interest till the very end.  I went in expecting a modern day action film in the style of Buster Keaton's The General and that's exactly what I got.  Expectations met and that's just fine with me.

3 uber-scary bunnies out of 5

FINDING NEMO [2003]

Andrew Stanton successfully brings life to the Pixar's fifth CGI animated film Finding Nemo with the help of beautiful visuals and strong voice performances from Albert Brooks and Ellen DeGeneres.

It tells the timeless story of a clownfish who is willing to take risks for the first time in his life in order to find his missing son.  Stanton blends touching moments with genuine humor, filled with a fantastic cast of supporting characters that all leave you in awe with it's wonder and imagination.  

One of Pixar's best with it's seamless storytelling that fully absorbs you into a different world.

5 Tank Gangs out of 5

J. Edgar (2011)

Leo DiCaprio becomes Philip Seymour Hoffman as J. Edgar Hoover in Clint Eastwood's award-season pic of the year. Some nice acting performances, but all in all felt much too overlong and DULL. The nuances of Hoover's life are treated very delicately and subtly, which is fine, but it didn't deliver much as far as emotional punch. It's difficult to make such an asshole seem sympathetic, but it at least succeeds in that regard (blame it on the parents).

2.5 wire-taps out of 5

OFFICE SPACE [1999]

Beavis & Butthead creator, Mike Judge's satirical comedy cult classic Office Space is a prime example of his various different types of comedic styles.
With it's wicked sense of humor, believable characters and a superb ensemble cast, Office Space is without a doubt one of the definitive workplace comedies ever produced. It speeds along with non-stop laughs until that final 15 minutes where it suddenly just falls apart. Almost as if Judge didn't know how to end it or had to do some sudden rewrites. No matter, the rest of the film more than makes up for it.
If you love laughing and hate your job then this one comes highly recommended from myself and legions and legions of other jaded folk with a chronic case of the Mondays.

4 Edward Scissorhands BBQs out of 5

Son of Morning (2011)

Going nowhere 20-something Phillip is propelled to stardom when he is photographed crying blood and hailed as the next Messiah. All the responsibility and power goes to his head, even as he says and does nothing and the media project their own ideals unto him. Then there's also the little matter of the Sun dying... Loses momentum after awhile, but it's a wild ride on the way there.

3.5 "More talking gerbil" out of 5

Everything Must Go (2011)

Fired from his job, alcoholic Will Ferrell comes home to find his wife has moved out, left his shit on the lawn, changed the locks and cancelled the credit cards. With nowhere else to go and nothing left to lose, he decides to camp out on his lawn and drink. Tackles serious subject matter much in the same way The Beaver (2011) did, without any real form of resolution or clear-cut answers... just like life (whaddaya know!).

3 S&M neighbors out of 5

RED STATE [2011]

I had the thrill of catching director, Kevin Smith personally screen his own film, the disturbingly, violent thriller "Red State". Smith takes "stabs" at lunatic fundamentalist religious groups aplenty in this ridiculously violent film that inspired picketers to attend even the Vancouver screening.

The film does run quite short, offers nothing thoughtful and does lag in a few areas but all in all it's an entertaining ride that offers more thrills than chills and gives Eli Roth a run for his money in shlocker department.

3 Bullet-riddled Raptures out of 5