Airheads (1994)

Brendan Fraser, Steve Buscemi and Adam Sandler play three dopey members of a struggling rock band who hijack a local radio station in an attempt to get their demo tape played on the air. The situation escalates quickly from there as hostages and cops add to the chaos. It's a decent enough set-up, but my main issue is that not much happens in the 90 minute runtime and the stakes feel low. Despite strong performances from all involved, it's neither clever nor memorable beyond the premise, while the overall execution is lacking.

2½ Beavis & Butt-Head cameos out of 5

Muppets from Space (1999)

Gonzo, the lonely, misunderstood, self-described "weirdo," contemplates his place in the world and where he belongs. Continuing off of a seed planted in The Muppet Movie ("I'm Going to Go Back There Someday"), we finally get our Gonzo-centric movie. While logic would dictate that this movie takes place in space, the majority of it is actually set at a top secret government facility, which captures Gonzo, prompting the rest of the Muppets to break him out.

While technically a well-made Muppet movie, the poor reception of this film led to the brand scaling back and being relegated to TV and direct-to-video productions for awhile, and it wasn't until 2011 that the Muppets were given another chance at their next big theatrical outing.

2½ whatevers out of 5

Note: If you get ahold of the DVD, it contains the most fun audio commentary I've ever heard with the Muppets themselves in a special MST3K silhouette style. It actually ends up being more entertaining than the movie itself.

Scream (2022)

AKA: Scream V

As a jaded horror fan, I actually enjoyed this one quite a bit. I'm not sure if I'm letting my defenses down lately, but I don't think it was worse than any of the other sequels. The leads (especially the sisters played by Melissa Barrera and Jenna Ortega) were very well cast and I believed their relationship. I didn't anticipate the twists either, so it was a success in that regard.

It's not as slick and stylish as it was under the direction of Wes Craven, but it still manages to capture the ethos of the time it was made in. This volume introduces the idea of the "requel"—i.e. the reboot/sequel to a legacy series—which this film also represents (meta as always). 

3 toxic online comments out of 5

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER [1992]

Producer Fran Rubel Kuzui tries her hand at directing then unknown screenwriter Joss Whedon's comedy/horror script Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
It's the age-old story of a Californian high school cheerleader who is unreluctantly chosen to be part of a long line of vampire hunters.
It has neither the dramatic arcs or colorful characters Whedon's now known for but it still features glimpses of cheeky dialogue that no one but title character actress Kristy Swanson seems to know how to properly deliver.  It's pretty obvious nobody seemed to understand what sort of script they were working with and it results in a tonal disgrace.  It has it's good intentions but it's poorly executed.  With something this forgettable who would have known what was to come in five years time?

2 acoustic stakes out of 5

BONE TOMAHAWK [2015]

S. Craig Zahler (known mostly as the writer of the craptastic Asylum Blackout) makes his directorial debut with the western/horror hybrid Bone Tomahawk.
Four not very prepared Wild West cowboys set out to save some folks from a pack of native cannibals hidden in the caves of the desert.
Greeted with multiple rave reviews, I was pretty excited about this odd little film and was met with immense disappointment.  It was fortunate enough to have a particularly strong cast but they have a painfully dull script to work with that will put you to sleep with it's boring dialogue sprinkled with only a few brief moments of cheeky wit.  Each character has a few short moments of interest but otherwise come off as sloppily boring, which is odd considering the 2 hour plus running time of the film.  There was something quite hilariously and disgustingly entertaining lost in this tedious genre mash-up that doesn't quite rise to the occasion.

2½ skull-splitters out of 5

STILL SCREAMING: THE ULTIMATE SCARY MOVIE RETROSPECTIVE [2011]

Celebrated horror journalist Ryan Turek's documentary, Still Screaming, pays tribute to the first three films in Wes Craven's popular Scream franchise.
It opens with a pointless and sloppily "first kill" scene that makes Scream 3's opening kill look inventive and then, gets into the juicy stuff that's filled with trivia and behind-the-scenes looks with interviews from cast & crew members and other popular folks in the genre.  As a dedicated fan to the series there was plenty I was already aware of but it gave just enough new tasty tidbits to keep me interested till the end.  Unlike most film documentaries of this type, it wisely doesn't just praise it's subjects but also is quite honest about a lot of the franchise's mistakes it made.  It's not going to win over any fans with this execution but will certainly make the nostalgic fan eager for a revisit to Woodsboro.

3 Scary Movies out of 5

Wild Bill (1995)

WB is a Hickok story that acknowledges the embellishments surrounding the real life character and works them into the plot. I liked that. But the shifting back in time via black and white flashbacks is something that I didn't like. It was distracting and made everything feel disjointed.
What drags it down more than anything else, however, is the casting. Jeff Bridges as the marshal with a gun in each hand would definitely seem a good idea on paper, but it didn't work so well onscreen. Likewise, John Hurt is a fine actor but not a good choice for Bill's close friend Charlie. Jane's role is necessary; it's a shame she's annoyingly melodramatic. The worst of all is David Arquette's piss-weak attempt at being the antagonist.

2½ remedies for the restless spirit out of 5

Riding the Bullet (2004)

A twenty-one-year-old guy obsessed with death hitchhikes back to the town where he grew up. You can guess the rest from the cover art.
Mick Garris can’t decide if he wants to make a comedy, a trippy road movie or a straightforward horror and as a result there are too many different approaches that drag the viewer out of the story, causing the atmosphere that he seems capable of building to collapse in a fractured shambles. The biggest shock was that David Arquette was good. 0_o

2½ if you’re going to suicide just do it and quit being a little bitch out of 5

The Darwin Awards (2006)

Darwin Awards are an ironic award given posthumously to people "who improve the species by accidentally removing themselves from it!" A police profiler seeks employment at an insurance company by using his Boy Scout skills to identify those kinds of idiots. Non-hilarity ensues. You know you've got a shitty movie when David Arquette is the most heart-warming thing in it. Winona was pretty, as always.

1½ Lars Ulrich is an asshole out of 5

SCREAM 3 [1999]

When the scriptwriter of your trilogy doesn't have the time to do the final instalment, you wait till he does have the time. Don't get some schmuck to pen it instead...and that's exactly what happened here.
Scream 3 has some promising elements but in the end it's just plain bad. It loses that perfect balance of horror and satire and comes off as an episode of Scooby-Doo or Abbot & Costello (mansion filled with secret passageways and trapdoors included). Even the new characters are boring and snotty. You just can't wait for them to bite the biscuit.
Such a shame. It left such a bitter taste in my mouth for 12 years.

2 Jay & Silent Bob's? out of 5

SCREAM 2 [1997]

Who'd want to make a sequel? Sequels suck.
Unless you know how to avoid all the obligatory rules and take it step above all that. Scream 2 manages to pull out some brutal punches and makes sure it doesn't fall under the curse of sequel suckage.
With all the survivors from the original returning plus a slew of brand new faces to slice n' dice, (Liev Schreiber and Timothy Olyphant being the new highlights), Scream 2 is just as much fun as the first one.
It does run about 5 minutes too long and has a few slow moments, but the gorier and more vicious murders make up for it. A worthy follow-up.

3½ Robert Rodriguez & Danny Elfman cameos out of 5

SCREAM [1996]

The 60's had Psycho, the 70's had Halloween, the 80's had A Nightmare on Elm Street and the '90's had Scream.
It single-handlely revived the teen slasher flick genre to a whole new generation of blood thirsty teens. While dissecting and poking fun at the rules and faults of all the horror films we've grown up with, it also pays tribute and breaks & follows all those elements as well.
Scriptwriter Kevin Williamson mastered the art of writing teen dialogue and actually makes it sound like real teens and not what Hollywood had portrayed them as before. A highly entertaining & talented cast elevates Scream above the usual slasher flick fare and establishes it's spot as one of the best horror films made.

4 excellent Norman Bates quotes out of 5

SCRE4M [2011]

After getting over the initial disappointment of not living up to the first Scream, like the cast & crew interviews kept on promising it would, I found the fourth installment of the popular Wes Craven slasher flick franchise to be an entertaining ride upon a second viewing.
While not meeting it's full potential, it is light years better than the third one and just trailing in behind the first two films. It never makes full use of the killer using the updated technology to his advantage, like he would have in the original films or really acknowledging the huge change in horror cinema since the last one came out over 10 years ago. There are a few moments of using blogs, webcams, phone apps and poking fun at remakes, reboots and torture porn but not as much as it could have been and that was a little disappointing. The new cast was a hoot to watch, although some were painfully underused or killed off too early. With the hugest body count so far in the series, slasher flick fans and gorehounds won't be disappointed.
It's still fun and I hope the next two patch up the mistakes this one made.

3 Robert Rodriguez "cameos" out of 5

Ravenous (1999)

Haven't seen this one in over a decade. It holds up. Starting out as what seems to be a promising dark comedy ("Eat me!"), it soon takes on a deadly serious (and sick) tone. Like any good movie about cannibalism, the gore factor is up there and this one does not disappoint. The memorable score by Michael Nyman and Damon Albarn sets up an unsettling atmosphere that elevates the movie above its source material. Not a perfect film...but you are what you eat. (?)

3.5 Bloody, Gnawed Off Femurs out of 5