Outcome (2026)

A grown up child star, obsessed with his public image and increasingly out of touch with the world, embarks on an apology tour to get ahead of a possible scandal. 10 minutes into this movie, I knew it was going to be high-strung and completely exhausting. Director Jonah Hill is clearly trying too hard to stay hip and relevant. Biggest laugh was a throwaway line during the end credits.

1 Google search out of 5

Fever Pitch (2005)

AKA: The Perfect Catch

The story of a man obsessed with the Red Sox and his courtship with a woman across a year of baseball games as he tries to conform her to his world. If the Farrellys wanted to show that they could do conventional, middle of the road PG-13 romantic comedies, they certainly proved it here. If you don't have even a passing interest in sports, you'll surely be bored out of your mind, like I was.

A remake of the 1997 UK film of the same name (based on the book by Nick Hornsby), adapted from football (soccer) to baseball for American audiences.

1½ season tickets out of 5

Wayne's World 2 (1993)

After being shut out backstage at Aerosmith, Wayne resolves to create his own music festival called Waynestock, inspired by a vision of Jim Morrison and Field of Dreams ("If you book them, they will come"). Meanwhile, his girlfriend Cassandra's (Tia Carrere) new sleazebag producer (Christopher Walken) is looking to steal her from under Wayne's nose, while Garth gets involved with a mysterious woman named Honey Hornée (Kim Basinger).

Less well regarded than the original, it's neither as funny nor memorable, but if you love these characters, there's little to dislike. Other than that, it's more of the same with Wayne and Garth, and that's good enough for me. Party on.

3½ weird naked Indians out of 5

Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle (2003)

I feel the throttle ought to have remained close to where it was at for the first movie, because upping the action to almost super-hero levels of ability makes the sequel feel like unintentional self-parody. If the scene that opens the farce (before the title appears) makes you cringe, then prepare for the worst, because things get even more moronic later on. The homages to other media feel forced, and the underlying worry of separation and outside commitments, which does actually play into the main plot, is as contrived as Justin Theroux's Irish accent. A pinch of decent subtext could've saved the story, but nothing other than residency on the cutting room floor could've stopped the action scenes from shitting over the potential for more light-hearted fun.

1½ whip tricks out of 5

Charlie's Angels (2000)

If the goal of the Charlie's Angels reboot was movie escapism on a superficial level, then it succeeded. The whole is heightened by the feeling that the "elite crime fighting trio" of Dylan, Alex and Natalie (Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, and Cameron Diaz, respectively) are having a blast while making it. The story is pretty thin and the primary villains are forgettable, but for every weak link (e.g. Sam Rockwell, Tom Green) there's a stronger one doing its utmost to draw attention away from the faults. In the latter category there's Crispin Glover, great use of chart music, playful stereotypes, ridiculous disguises, and a dynamic approach that never misses an opportunity to make its leading ladies shine. And for fans of the original TV series, the voice of John Forsythe.

3 bird calls out of 5

Babes in Toyland (1986)

It's Xmas eve in Cincinnati, but eleven-year-old Lisa (Drew Barrymore) isn't feeling the seasonal spirit. I kind of respected her at that stage, but the film is about recapturing it, so something had to give. In Wizard of Oz style she wakes in Toyland, wherein people from her real life take on roles in the new world, including her sister's sleazy boss and his employee Keanu.
The world is populated by story folk, which means man-size teddy bears and simpletons with the intelligence of chocolate chip cookies. But Pat Morita, too, which was a surprise. Will Lisa stop the rotten Barnaby (Richard Mulligan) from ruling Toyland and find in her heart not just the true spirit of Xmas but the importance of embracing childhood, too? Is there even any doubt?

2 flower cars out of 5

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998)

An alternative telling of the Cinderella story, supposing that a sixteenth century historical 'truth' was inspiration for the well-known tale.
Drew Barrymore is the young maiden who's mistreated by her wicked stepmom and forced into servitude in her own home. When distanced from her predicament she's more intelligent, outspoken and inspirational than the wispy female that we often get in modern fairy tale versions.
It gives more backstory to the "French" Prince, although he's still pretty bland most of the time. Anjelica Huston is well-cast as the conniving and jealous stepmom (I mean that in the most complimentary way), but my personal favourite character was the middle sister, Jacqueline (Melanie Lynskey).

3 everyday rusties out of 5

Far From Home (1989)

Normally resident in L.A., Joleen (Drew Barrymore) finds herself stranded with her father in a small town near the Nevada desert. It’s a shitty situation for a teen, but it becomes even worse when a few dead bodies turn up. The psycho killer at the trailer park scenario is played out alongside a young girl’s first steps into sexual maturity. She’s not shy but she’s inexperienced, experimenting with finding excitement in danger.
It lays on the menace overly-thick at times, but for a B-Movie it does a decent job at keeping the tension trundling along.
Special mention to Richard Masur, who made his character stand out.

2½ wristwatches out of 5

Firestarter (1984)

A young Drew Barrymore is the titular starter of fires in this adaptation of a Stephen King novel. She’s the product of a union between two government test subjects and has inherited some unusual traits that make her a danger to herself and to the officials that want her in custody.
It resembles an early 80’s Cronenberg film, which was both a plus and a handicap because it filled me with hope that it could match his pacing but left me even more disappointed than I may have been normally when that didn't happen. It begins to fall apart in the second act and fails to get it back on track again before culminating in a rather dodgy ending.

2 fireballs out of 5

Altered States (1980)

William Hurt eats some extra special magic mushrooms and drops himself into a sensory deprivation tank, and then shit gets real. Packed with religious symbolism and a lot of psychedelic imagery, Altered States will strike a chord with anyone who’s ever put their brain outside the box and wondered about abstract things… you know what I mean. It doesn't succeed in recreating such an experience visually, but emotionally and metaphorically it does quite well. It remains surprisingly on track given the director’s history. Apparently Kubrick turned it down (and Spielberg, but that's probably a good thing).
I was shocked to find it was William Hurt's cinematic début; it’s one of the finest performances I've seen from him. A genuine sci-fi classic.

4½ orders of I'll have what he's having out of 5

BATMAN FOREVER [1995]

Ditching the dark, gritty timeless atmosphere Tim Burton had established for the Batman franchise, hit & miss director Joel Schumacher went for a more colorful "modern" Tokyo look which was deemed more MTV family friendly.
Val Kilmer does an adequate job at replacing Keaton as The Caped Crusader. Tommy Lee Jones doesn't seem to have a clue who Two-face was and comes off as more of cheap knock-off of Nicholson's Joker. Jim Carrey is on auto-pilot as The Riddler but is nonetheless entertaining. Nicole Kidman snoozes her way through the unintentionally skanky female lead. And Chis O'Donnell as Robin? No. Just no.
The painfully titled Batman Forever is embarrassingly bad at times and yet somehow manages to entertain just enough for the most part. It's not as horrible as it could be but it's a sure sign of the troubled times to come.

2½ Bat-butts out of 5

Donnie Darko (2001)

"28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds...that is when the world will end."

Richard Kelly came out of nowhere to bring us this truly terrifying vision that combines horror, sci-fi, time travel, and a dream-like state of consciousness into a satisfying and enriching experience. This story of nihilism, teen angst, depression, misanthropy, mystery and a giant rabbit (story of my life) blew me away the first time I saw it. Like Mulholland Dr, it doesn't quite make sense on the surface, but requires you to delve down deeper. Repeated viewings are a must towards different levels of understanding. I still prefer the original release to the director's cut.

5 cellar doors out of 5

SCREAM [1996]

The 60's had Psycho, the 70's had Halloween, the 80's had A Nightmare on Elm Street and the '90's had Scream.
It single-handlely revived the teen slasher flick genre to a whole new generation of blood thirsty teens. While dissecting and poking fun at the rules and faults of all the horror films we've grown up with, it also pays tribute and breaks & follows all those elements as well.
Scriptwriter Kevin Williamson mastered the art of writing teen dialogue and actually makes it sound like real teens and not what Hollywood had portrayed them as before. A highly entertaining & talented cast elevates Scream above the usual slasher flick fare and establishes it's spot as one of the best horror films made.

4 excellent Norman Bates quotes out of 5