The Phantom of the Opera (2004)

Dir. Joel Schumacher's filmed version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's musical version of Gaston Leroux's famous French novel (1910). I'd hoped for drama, theatrical, fantastical and fraught with emotions, but what I got was half-hearted at best and Baz Luhrmann-esque at worst. There are some neat cinematic tricks on offer, but overall it's not very exciting.
Emmy Rossum (great hair) does okay, and she sure can sing, but, surprisingly, it's Butler that comes closest to displaying any hint of passion, albeit minor; most everyone else is just there, in costume but not so much in spirit.
The memorable part for me was the first half of the cemetery scene that comes late in the running time; the swamped in dry-ice set was beautiful.

2½ strange duets out of 5

8MM (1999)

Private Investigator Tom Welles (Nicolas Cage) ignores the advice of Nietzsche as he delves deep into the realm of pornographers, sado-masochists and monsters. He is hired by a rich widow to track down the origins of her late husband's dirtiest little secret: a seemingly genuine snuff film. The gravity of the dark subject matter is downplayed in this day and age where everything is recorded and the most devious acts can be found online. What gives the story weight is the strength of performance and the plausibility of events. Tons of people go missing every year and there are plenty of sickos out there. The sleazy elements in the film are brought to life by great casting choices (such as James Gandolfini and Peter Stormare) and set design. The deeper down the rabbit hole 8MM plunges, the more the human side of things becomes important. In the end it centers less around a snuff film and more around the people affected by the atrocity.

3½ things you can't unsee out of 5

Veronica Guerin (2003)

The story of a real life journalist who dared to expose the murky depths of organised crime in Dublin during the 1990s, at a time when the Gardai (police) were useless or had their hands tied by legislature.
Guerin is written as being either noble or reckless, depending on your point of view of how someone with a young child ought to perform. What’s less up for argument is that she’s a ballsy crusader for justice.
Schumacher keeps it realistic, with violence that’s swift and brutal. There’s a tendency for viewers to pair realism with fact. I don’t know if that’s the case, so I can only judge it as a film. In that respect it’s well-paced, even if the initial intent gets pushed aside somewhat in favour of a drama about who’s the boldest and bravest in a struggle between right and wrong.

3 interventions out of 5

Falling Down (1993)

Michael Douglas has had enough of traffic jams and heat waves; enough of the guy in front; enough of the screaming kids in the bus on the adjacent lane; enough of the bastard fly that’s buzzing inside his oven-like car with the crappy air-con as if it owns the place. Michael Douglas has had enough, period. It’s like having a paper cut the entire length of his body.
The character is an average Joe with a shorter fuse than most, but everyone should be able to relate to his pains on some level because we've all had a day go from bad to worse to cataclysmic.
Beneath the black humour is social commentary on how the little guy gets swallowed up by the system. It's more exciting than it sounds.

4 weapon upgrades out of 5

BLOOD CREEK [2009]

I have to give it to director Joel Schumacher for constantly exploring different genres and styles.

In Blood Creek, Schumacher goes all out with the gore and an unusual amount of animal cruelty.  

While the film isn't necessarily very good, it certainly is unpredictable.

I went in expecting pure shit and came out mildly amused and entertained.  

2½ stomach fluid surprises out of 5

Phone Booth (2002)

An arrogant douche gets trapped in a phone booth. Not because he's an idiot and can't work a door, but because if he leaves there'll be dire consequences.
About eighty percent of the film is focussed on one man in a booth, shot in sequence over just ten days. It's an interesting if flawed viewing experience, particularly for the film student.
Oirish boy Farrell impresses in the emotional scenes. I didn't think him capable of that. I was wrong. His momma should be proud.
Phone booth. Broken window. Trapped. Hitchcock homage? Give Farrell a blonde wig, stat!

2½ little red dots out of 5

BATMAN & ROBIN [1997]

How do you make a bad Batman movie with Robin in it worse than it all ready is?
You add Batgirl into the mix.
Joel Schumacher's notoriously bad film is every shitty thing they say it is. The dialogue is terribly sloppy and predictable, the acting is half-assed and the story is nothing short of "who gives a shit?"
The only thing this film has going for it is the colorfully attractive sets and the loopy music by Elliot Goldenthal.
I know it's purposely hokey at times but this is just insulting to our intelligence. Pure bat guano.

1 star out of 5

BATMAN FOREVER [1995]

Ditching the dark, gritty timeless atmosphere Tim Burton had established for the Batman franchise, hit & miss director Joel Schumacher went for a more colorful "modern" Tokyo look which was deemed more MTV family friendly.
Val Kilmer does an adequate job at replacing Keaton as The Caped Crusader. Tommy Lee Jones doesn't seem to have a clue who Two-face was and comes off as more of cheap knock-off of Nicholson's Joker. Jim Carrey is on auto-pilot as The Riddler but is nonetheless entertaining. Nicole Kidman snoozes her way through the unintentionally skanky female lead. And Chis O'Donnell as Robin? No. Just no.
The painfully titled Batman Forever is embarrassingly bad at times and yet somehow manages to entertain just enough for the most part. It's not as horrible as it could be but it's a sure sign of the troubled times to come.

2½ Bat-butts out of 5

THE LOST BOYS [1987]

Joel Schumacher is a real hit and miss filmmaker. Fortunately, his venture into the vampire lore is a supremely entertaining and funny one.
It's slick, stylish and silly with a kick-ass '80's soundtrack to boot.
Normally you'd ask yourself what the hell am I watching, with lines like "Holy shit! It's the attack of Eddie Munster" or "We trashed the one that looked like Twisted Sister" but somehow The Lost Boys pulls it off with smirking grace.
Corey Feldman and Jamison Newlander steal the show as self-proclaimed vampire hunters, Edgar and Allen Frog.
It's not necessarily scary but it's a wild romp and funny at all the right moments.
Just the way teen vampire flicks should be.

3 ½ Greased up muscly saxophone players of 5