Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair (2006)

Screened exactly twice in 2006 and 2011, this year finally marks the official wide release of the complete work, restoring it back to Tarantino's original unified vision, before it was insisted on being split into two volumes at the behest of Miramax's Harvey Weinstein. The result is a four-hour martial arts/exploitation/samurai epic (plus 15 minute intermission) with pacing that flows better as one cohesive whole, with some of the fat trimmed out of it.

Watching this 20 years after the fact in a packed theater makes it clear how well the material ages. Enormously entertaining and never boring, it's an homage to all the greats of the past, blending so many disparate styles in a pastiche of Americana, which doesn't take away from the artists it so liberally borrows from. As the ultimate revenge story (summed up in the title), it favors style over substance, but the mission is clear and the emotions are real: You're with The Bride every step of the way. It's not without its flaws, but there's no denying this is Cinema; there aren't many filmmakers left making epics of this caliber. To put it even more bluntly, this is just a cool fucking film with iconic visuals and a killer soundtrack. And Uma Thurman looks damn good doing it.

5 Deadly Vipers out of 5

Note: Exclusive to this 2025 print is a new chapter entitled "Yuki's Revenge," which was animated using the Unreal Engine, with Uma performing the voice acting and motion capture. Luckily, this is tacked on at the end of the credits and doesn't interrupt the flow of the film. You can view it in its entirety here.

Note 2: The original Nutshell reviews can be found here: Volume 1, Volume 2

MOVIE 43 [2013]

Producer Charlie Wessler gathers together a band of embarrassed directors, including Peter Farrelly, James Gunn, Griffin Dunne, Brett Ratner and many more for his sketch comedy anthology Movie 43.  Depending on what country you're in will depend on what plot you'll get threading all the sketches together...for once, the U.S. cut is the best one.
It's basically a gaggle of juvenile humored sketches that constantly try to outdo each other in jokes about bodily fluids, sex, periods, incest and various forms of racism and sexism.  It's amazingly disgusting, vile and void of any sort of class.  With that being said, it's quite often just as funny as it is ridiculously stupid.  It's notoriously known as one of the worst films of all time but I wouldn't go that far.  I figure more was expected of it considering the huge cast of well-known actors involved, many of whom tried to unsuccessfully back out.

2 shitty car accidents out of 5

Pulp Fiction (1994)

QT’s second film is a nonlinear collection of about half a dozen stories that overlap in interesting ways, even though none of them really go anywhere meaningful. On one hand it’s deserving of being pulped, but the performances, dialogue and love shown to established filmic techniques (rear projection car rides, long tracking shots, split-focus lens and even a McGuffin) are indulgently entertaining. It’s not unlike the tasty burger that Sam Jackson makes a big deal over in one of the stories: it’s constructed from chopped up pieces and satisfies for a brief time. However, at 154 minutes I do feel that it pushes against the limits of acceptability for that kind of thing.

4 moral tests of oneself out of 5

Kill Bill: Volume 2 (2004)

The Bride, armed with her Hattori Hanzô sword, continues to pursue Bill so she can do what the title says she wants to do. Yawn.
Volume 1 (2003) was mostly about action, whereas Volume 2 is mostly about talking. Neither film offers a satisfying viewing experience.
I believe a filmmaker's desire to express his/herself in a creative way should be fulfilled as much as possible, but their first duty should always be to the story. QT delivered self-indulgent wankery for both of those things. I prefer a well-written dialogue scene to an explosive action scene, so this one should've been more engaging for me, but there's only about ten minutes in total when I wasn't bored out of my mind.

2 lonely sides out of 5

Paycheck (2003)

When I watch a film based on a Philip K Dick story I cross my fingers and repeat the phrase, 'please be good, please be good,' over and over like a mantra, but they almost never are. Paycheck is based on a short story of the same name, padded out to almost two hours!
Part of the reason it’s so bad is the sequential deus ex machinas the story relies upon. It may have worked on paper but it's a giant finger that points and laughs at its own incredulity onscreen.
Another reason it sucks balls is because of Ben Affleck. He won an award for his performance, but unfortunately for him it was a Razzie. Although, it's a little unfair they didn't award Uma one, too; she was equally as worthy.

1½ cheques checked out of 5

Kill Bill: Volume 1 (2003)

QT's first misstep is 100% style over substance. It's the film equivalent of a kid in a Lego store who builds a structure that threatens to collapse under the weight of its own aspirations because it has no real foundation. It's the director saying: I like Chanbara, Westerns, Blaxploitation, Wuxia, and Uma's feet, so I'm going to put them all together. Aren't I the coolest?
I didn't much like the film but I'm glad QT is in the business. His framing is nearly always perfect and his passion for his craft is plain to see.
If the two films ever get re-edited and commercially released as the rumoured Whole Bloody Affair then I'll happily reassess the work, but it'll need to be a complete pacing re-edit and not just a lazy-ass joining.

2½ splatters of blood in snow out of 5

Be Cool (2005)

A sequel to Get Shorty (1995).
Uma outside of a Tarantino film is nearly always going to fail. This does.
Even The Rock and his eyebrow can't save it.

1 cameo too far out of 5

BATMAN & ROBIN [1997]

How do you make a bad Batman movie with Robin in it worse than it all ready is?
You add Batgirl into the mix.
Joel Schumacher's notoriously bad film is every shitty thing they say it is. The dialogue is terribly sloppy and predictable, the acting is half-assed and the story is nothing short of "who gives a shit?"
The only thing this film has going for it is the colorfully attractive sets and the loopy music by Elliot Goldenthal.
I know it's purposely hokey at times but this is just insulting to our intelligence. Pure bat guano.

1 star out of 5