The Holdovers (2023)

This was a very charming movie and a pleasant way to spend two hours. I especially dug the way it revives that raw and gritty 1970s film aesthetic. 

A student is stuck at university over Christmas break with his strict, humorless teacher and the no-nonsense cafeteria lady, where he gets into trouble due to the boredom and frustration of his circumstances. This is the kind of film that grows on you and manages to win you over with an anti-holiday sentiment that somehow perfectly encapsulates the spirit of the season. I forgot how much I missed Paul Giamatti in a leading role like this because he commands every scene he's in, and it earned him a well-deserved Oscar win. The whole movie contains understated moments of brilliance which really hit home.

3½ wonky eyes out of 5

Morgan (2016)

Luke Scott (son of producer Ridley Scott) directs his first feature, the taut sci-fi thriller Morgan. On a secluded estate a synthetic humanoid (Anya Taylor-Joy) is grown. After an unfortunate incident a risk management specialist (Kate Mara) is sent in to survey the project's progress. As soon as you see the titular Morgan you already know the shit will hit the fan hard. It's this anticipation that keeps your attention till the action-packed climax. The impressive cast is handled moderately well, though an extra 15-20 minutes could have done wonders for the supporting characters' development. Certain pivotal characters only last one scene. Even though the twist wasn't awfully difficult to decipher, I believe this was intentional. Clues are abound in this overly succinct yet satisfying film.

3½ awkward first kisses out of 5

The Ides of March (2011)

US Politics = yawn. But when the cast includes Philip Seymour Hoffman, Paul Giamatti, Marisa Tomei, and George Clooney (who also directed the feature and contributed to the adaptation of the source play, Farragut North, by Beau Willimon) then I'm damn well going to watch it regardless!
It's a well-made melodrama, but unfortunately the main focus of the story is a junior campaign manager played by Ryan Gosling who's about as interesting as a paper cut, although it's a welcome relief that it isn't all about the election campaign itself. Gosling's character comes alive a little during his interactions with a young female intern named Molly (great work by Evan Rachel Wood), but not enough to make me care about his role.

3 job descriptions out of 5

PARKLAND [2013]

Journalist Peter Landesman made his directorial debut with the dramatically effective, yet ultimately pointless, historical drama Parkland.
Set in the three days that immediately followed JFK's assassination, we follow an ensemble of ordinary folks who aren't well remembered names that played a big part in the events, such as the doctors, reporters, policeman, secret service men and relatives of the larger than life names.
It offers a unique perspective on the controversial subject matter but it runs off into too many directions to really allow the viewer to become emotionally attached to any of the characters being explored.  There's some excellent performances from the long list of who's who of indie-films, particularly the always wonderful Paul Giamatti, James Badge Dale and Jacki Weaver.  With an extra 45 minutes (yes, that much) I think it could have been a great film but instead it's nothing but a valiant but uncompelling effort.

3 of the world's most famous rolls of 8mm films out of 5

STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON [2015]

Friday director F. Gary Gray walks with some familiar faces in the music bio-pic Straight Outta Compton, depicting the short-lived rise & fall of pioneering West Coast rap act N.WA.
It's follows the group in 1986 as they come together and leads right up to the 1996 birth of Aftermath Entertainment, so obviously it follows the members for quite a few years after the demise of the controversial group.  So with that being said, it might not be so much a N.W.A. bio-pic and more a E, Dre & Cube bio-pic seeing as M.C. Ren, The D.O.C. and DJ Yella are largely ignored in it's 2½ hour running time.  It's not often when a film like this hires actors who look like the people their playing have actual talent but thankfully due to some excellent direction and strong performances it never becomes distracting or overly phony.  It glazes over quite a few shadier incidents involving our "heroes" of the film but nothing that would push the dramatic plotting of the film.  It's not the perfect musical bio-pic but certainly is one of the more easily digestible and entertaining.

3½ Bye, Felicia's out of 5

SAN ANDREAS [2015]

Republic of Doyle Newfie director Brad Peyton has a grand ol' time bringing California to it's knees in the special effects summer bonanza San Andreas.
The Rock plays a father that embarks on a terrifying journey across the said state in order to rescue his daughter.  By now, you know what your getting yourself into when walking into a film like this.  Bad dialogue, paper-thin characters, questionable actions with even more questionable consequences and a helluva lot of noise.  If you're ready for all that then you'll find some mind-numbing enjoyment out of this one, especially with Dwayne Johnson on board.  With summer officially starting this week I can safely guarantee you most of the film reviews following this one will say basically the same thing.

3 tsunamis out of 5

THE CONGRESS [2013]

Ari Folman crafts a uniquely beautiful live action/animated work with The Congress, a philosophical satire loosely inspired by Stanisław Lem's The Futurological Congress.
In her best performance to date, Robin Wright portrays a science-fictionalized version of herself that echoes that of a character that wouldn't be out of place in a Charlie Kaufman piece.  The Congress explores a number of themes including mortality, appearances, the pro & cons of advanced technology in film, all while taking some mature and delicately executed swipes at the Hollywood mainstream.  Folman returns to his Waltz with Bashir crew to help animate a world that looks like a Jean-Pierre Jeunet world seen through the eyes of Ralph Bashki.
A very important cinematic achievement that I urge any lover of thoughtful storytelling in cinema to experience.

4½ animated Dwarfs out of 5

THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN 2 [2014]

The Amazing Spider-Man director Marc Webb returns for the second part in what is proposed to be a quadrilogy.
Joined by Fringe & LOST writers Alex Kurtzman, Robert Orci & Jeff Pinkner, Webb expands the relationship between Peter Parker and Gwen Stacy into something much more flourishing and even more heartfelt than the original film.  With the heart of the story in place, comic book films need some worthy villains and that's where things get a little jumbled up.  Jamie Foxx and Dane DeHaan do a fine job at portraying the main baddies, Electro and Green Goblin, but it's the gaggle of other villains slipping in through the cracks that confuse things a bit, some are slapped right in your face, while others might only go noticed by comic book nerds.  It's a little unfocused plotwise but carries a heavier emotional weight that many felt was void from the first film.

3 Inter-web designs out of 5

12 YEARS A SLAVE [2013]

Based on Solomon Northup's own auto-biographical 1853 novel, 12 Years A Slave, director Steve McQueen takes up the heavy challenge of adapting it into a powerfully moving film.
Everything about it from the outside screams Hollywood epic tale but once you get past that you find an intimate tale about the power of the human soul in even the worst of times.  Some of the most effective moments are long takes of nothing but silence and allowing the actor's eyes or subtle body movements to do the talking.  Chiwetel Ejiofor deserves every bit of praise he's received for this role but so should Michael Fassbender, as despicable as his character is, one can't deny the impact of his performance.
As difficult as some of the necessary subject material is to watch, it's a film and story that needs to be told, heard and seen.

4 fiddles out of 5

SAVING MR. BANKS [2013]

John Lee Hancock's Saving Mr. Banks is an absolutely charming historical drama about Walt Disney struggling with author P.L. Travers to get the film rights to the studio classic Mary Poppins.
It's an interesting character study that's both heart-warming and surprisingly dark in areas that's largely based around the terrific performances from Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks.  At times it reeks of the Disney empire stroking it's inflated ego and gets a bit too predictably fluffy but when it's at it's best it's simply wonderful.

3½ fruit bowls for the swimming pool out of 5

COSMOPOLIS [2012]

Like a modern day take on James Joyce's Ulysses, David Cronenberg's adaptation of Don DeLillo's novel Cosmopolis follows a day in the life of a billionaire as his whole world comes crashing down.
It's a cold and calculated dissection of the upper class lifestyle, their take on life and how one can be so knowledgeable of everything around them yet be so emotionally sealed off.  Robert Pattinson doesn't miss a beat with Cronenberg's cynical, soulless narrative rhythm that will probably baffle and confuse the average viewer but should interest someone looking for an intriguing and nourishing conversation piece.

3½ rats out of 5

Paycheck (2003)

When I watch a film based on a Philip K Dick story I cross my fingers and repeat the phrase, 'please be good, please be good,' over and over like a mantra, but they almost never are. Paycheck is based on a short story of the same name, padded out to almost two hours!
Part of the reason it’s so bad is the sequential deus ex machinas the story relies upon. It may have worked on paper but it's a giant finger that points and laughs at its own incredulity onscreen.
Another reason it sucks balls is because of Ben Affleck. He won an award for his performance, but unfortunately for him it was a Razzie. Although, it's a little unfair they didn't award Uma one, too; she was equally as worthy.

1½ cheques checked out of 5

THE HANGOVER PART II [2011]

Todd Phillips' second instalment of the Hangover series lacks the element of surprise of the first and fails to bring anything really all that funny to the screen.

If not for the relocation from Las Vegas to Thailand the story would be an exact copy of the first one, only a bit more violent and grittier.  There's a few scattered laughs throughout the film but in the end, you can't help but feel that it's a result of screenwriting laziness and Hollywood producers eager to shit out a cash cow before it's fully cooked.

1 night in Bangkok out of 5

WIN WIN [2011]

I love how the harmless simplicity of Thomas McCarthy films leave room for the characters to flourish in a funny yet realistic manner like in The Station Agent or Pixar's UP.  The Paul Giamatti led drama Win Win continues this wonderful tradition.
The premise doesn't really stand out as anything amazing but it's the writing, characters and performances that make the film memorable and worth recommending.  It occasionally stands on the edge of sappy schmaltz but somehow manages to narrowly avoid it with well-timed humour and believability.

3½ noisy hot water heaters out of 5

Click To See Budarc's Nuts

JOHN DIES AT THE END [2012]

Gonzo director Don Coscarelli (The Beastmaster & Bubba Ho-Tep) adapts Cracked editor David Wong's internet serial novel John Dies At The End, all of which guarantees it a spot in the hall of horror-comedy cult classics.

It follows the story of two college dropouts that end up in the middle of a demonic invasion set out by a living organism in the form of a narcotic known as "Soy Sauce".  Sound weird?  That's just scratching the surface of what surreal and insane passageways the film takes you down.  It's not particularly well made or acted but there's so much enthusiasm put into it's production you can't help but like it for the weird crap that it is.

3 Eyes Wide Shut worlds out of 5

American Splendor (2003)

A bizarre blend of real life, documentary, fiction and dramatic re-enactment of the life of an average loser, the everyman Harvey Pekar. Harvey’s misery becomes instrumental to his success in life. He gets trapped in that cyclic depression, becoming both an inspirational idiot and a living parody.
It’s an indie comedy with a message about something or other. Paul Giamatti is wonderful; his facial expressions convey inner thoughts without the need for dialogue. It’s not depressing, nor particularly uplifting, it just drifts along at a nice pace, but it is well-made and has heart.

3½ Plebian lifestyles out of 5

LADY IN THE WATER [2006]

M. Night Shyamalan's "bedtime story" Lady In The Water is a universally panned film that I find hard not liking.  

Sure it's got an uneven plot, questionable dialogue and terribly written characters, but the mood, performances and music are great.  Shyamalan had balls to make a film like this when the big thing in mainstream cinema were manboy superheros and boy wizards.  It's nothing more than wide-eyed storytelling that serves it's purpose in entertainment.

3 giant fap-arms out of 5

Win Win (2011)

Paul Giamatti stars in this indie drama as a fledgling lawyer/wrestling coach who struggles to make ends meet. One day, he finds a troubled kid on his doorstep who turns out to be a wrestling champ, who ends up integrating himself with the family. Kind of plays like the "feel good" equivalent of Hesher, with several unforeseen complications and real world consequences thrown into the mix.

3 moon texts out of 5

Click To See cuckoo's Nuts

Planet of the Apes (2001)

I've read Pierre Boulle's original novel, watched all of the original films multiple times, and even the short-lived television series, so it's fair to say that I'm an Apes fan. I'm also a fan of some of Tim Burton's work prior to this, which makes reviewing his unnecessary remake all the more troublesome.
Pros: a great ensemble cast, Mr Elfman on score duties, Rick Baker's flawless make-up and the amazing costumes.
Cons: Everything else.
To date, it's Burton's worst film by far and a well-deserved winner of a Golden Razzie for worst remake. It's a travesty.

1½ spring-powered ape legs out of 5