Tony (2026)

I knew nothing about chef and travel documentarian Anthony Bourdain, other than the manner of his demise. This biopic shines a light on a sliver of his life as a directionless young man trying to get by, by any means possible. Aspiring to be a writer, and chasing a girl cross-country, he happens into a job at a Cape Cod restaurant that would change the trajectory of his life forever. What I admire about this film is how dirty and rough around the edges it is. It doesn't pass judgement on its sleazy characters and his dark past, and breathes an air of fresh authenticity. I honestly didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did.

4 buckets of water out of 5

Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

Michelle Pfeiffer plays a GILF who is hosting the holidays this year, along with an all-star cast who apparently had nothing else better to do. Each year, I suffer through a new crop of Christmas movies that always recycle the same ideas and morals, which is that family sucks, but they're your family, blah, blah blah. You know that's exactly what you're going to get here. I'm disappointed that this came from Michael Showalter because I was expecting something dark and subversive. It positions itself to become a holiday classic devoted to moms, but you can't force that shit; from all the intentional Christmas Vacation and Home Alone vibes littered throughout. The only reason why this isn't a total piece of shit is because Pfeiffer elevates everything she does and she looks fucking incredible for 67, but that's not nearly enough to save it.

1½ sorrowful renditions of "12 Days of Christmas" out of 5

Now You See Me, Now You Don't (2025)

The Horsemen are back and they're just as showy, obnoxious and improbable as ever. It's your basic diamond heist movie, except with magicians, illusionists and mentalists (oh my!) somehow always pulling one over on each other. It's exactly the same type of shit as the first two films, and this time you can add three more arrogant pricks to the roster. The only thing this film succeeds in doing is creating the title that they should have done for the second movie. 

1 ace of diamonds out of 5

Note: No, I don't see the Magic Eye image above, either...

The Holdovers (2023)

This was a very charming movie and a pleasant way to spend two hours. I especially dug the way it revives that raw and gritty 1970s film aesthetic. 

A student is stuck at university over Christmas break with his strict, humorless teacher and the no-nonsense cafeteria lady, where he gets into trouble due to the boredom and frustration of his circumstances. This is the kind of film that grows on you and manages to win you over with an anti-holiday sentiment that somehow perfectly encapsulates the spirit of the season. I forgot how much I missed Paul Giamatti in a leading role like this because he commands every scene he's in, and it earned him a well-deserved Oscar win. The whole movie contains understated moments of brilliance which really hit home.

3½ wonky eyes out of 5