Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

Michelle Pfeiffer plays a GILF who is hosting the holidays this year, along with an all-star cast who apparently had nothing else better to do. Each year, I suffer through a new crop of Christmas movies that always recycle the same ideas and morals, which is that family sucks, but they're your family, blah, blah blah. You know that's exactly what you're going to get here. I'm disappointed that this came from Michael Showalter because I was expecting something dark and subversive. It positions itself to become a holiday classic devoted to moms, but you can't force that shit; from all the intentional Christmas Vacation and Home Alone vibes littered throughout. The only reason why this isn't a total piece of shit is because Pfeiffer elevates everything she does and she looks fucking incredible for 67, but that's not nearly enough to save it.

1½ sorrowful renditions of "12 Days of Christmas" out of 5

War of the Worlds (2025)

Imagine an asshole.

Now imagine it opening up.

Now imagine frothy hot diarrhea spewing forth from within and spilling all over your eyes and face and sliding into the corners of your mouth...

Congratulations, you've just seen War of the Worlds 2025.

0 efforts out of 5

The Heartbreak Kid (2007)

A remake of the 1972 film about a shallow man who quickly courts and marries a beautiful woman, then realizes they have nothing in common and falls for another woman on their honeymoon. As always, Ben Stiller excels at playing the hapless sap, but this one has more of a mean streak than other romantic comedies. It's raunchy and offensive, which gets bonus points in my book, but this is not one of the Farrelly brothers' best. The original holds up much better.

2 cures for a jellyfish sting out of 5