Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Everyone remembers this film for stoner slacker Spicoli (Sean Penn), although he's very much the secondary character to all the ensemble drama around him.

Amy Heckerling's first film, based on the non-fiction book by Cameron Crowe (in which he posed as a high school senior for inspiration), is never quite as perfect as my memory of it purports to be, but it certainly captures the wild zeitgeist of American culture in the '80s. It's an iconic coming-of-age comedy with mammorable performances from Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates.

4 fapus interruptus out of 5

The Last American Virgin (1982)

Boaz Davidson remakes his own popular Israeli film for American audiences. Transposing the action to the '80s, the subject matter hasn't changed much. Gary is a teenager obsessed with losing his virginity, but he has his eyes on the beautiful Karen, who doesn't see him the same way. It's taken me almost three decades to finally come to terms that this is probably the superior film with deeper character development, although it's still a toss-up which has the better soundtrack. It's both crude and nuanced, but it's the last act of each film that elevates it from the usual teen fodder and will stay with me forever.

4 cases of crabs out of 5

Lemon Popsicle (1978)

AKA: Eskimo Limon

American rock 'n' roll music and nubile young women. What could be better? Being the guy who winds up with the girl, of course. Set in late '50s Tel Aviv, Benji and his horny friends are consumed with women and whose humorous misadventures in pursuit of sex usually end up blowing up in their faces, when Benji falls for new girl Nikki and feelings gradually become more complicated.

Inspired by coming-of-age films like American Graffiti and Summer of '42, this classic teen sex comedy then went on to influence the likes of Porky's, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Revenge of the Nerds and American Pie. As Israel's highest-grossing film of all time, it spawned a huge franchise numbering 9 or 10 entries. I've always meant to watch them all, but have yet to find quality subtitled versions. Looks like I'll have to put it off for yet another year...

4 dick measuring contests out of 5

Chocolate Strawberry Vanilla (2013)

Warren is a lonely, timid ice cream man having a tough go at it. Constantly harangued by the dregs of society, he passes his time by watching old VHS copies of his favorite soap opera starring his crush, Katey George. His life is devoid, meaningless, and in need of a major shake up. Retreating further and further from reality in order to cope, it's only so long before a man is pushed too far. It goes without saying that I'm biased, but I love this dark little indie.

4 furious faps out of 5

Ice Cream Man (2026)

No relation. Eli Roth takes on the domestic horror of suburbia. After being seduced by the ice cream man's sweet serenade, the neighborhood kids go on a rampage against the adults. It's a little bit Children of the Corn and Beware! Children at Play, yet all I could think about was Halloween III: Season of the Witch. Any which way you slice it, it's pretty cheesy, but strangely irresistible.

2 lactose intolerances out of 5

Note: The film was accompanied by a fake grindhouse trailer, Don't Go in That House, Bitch!, which may or may not actually be its own upcoming movie.

Ice Cream Man (1995)

Ahh, the sweet allure of the ice cream man. Nothing says nostalgia like a hot summer's day and that familiar jingle. Little do you know, he might be a serial killer working out of his truck who chops up small children and serves them up as ingredients in his special recipe. This one is an oldie but a crappy; a cheesy classic which I was never quite fond of, despite the presence of cult favorite Clint Howard at his most repugnant. It's very basic but has the charm of cheapy '90s direct-to-video nasties. It scratches an itch, but not a very deep one.

1½ brain freezes out of 5

Evil Dead Burn (2026)

They're just releasing Evil Dead films willy-nilly now. This doesn't even feel like the event film it should be...just a casual release dumped in the middle of summer. I guess it's safe to say this is now considered its own trilogy and not a series of reboots as I had assumed, since one has nothing to do with the other. However, it won't remain a trilogy for long, since it's already being followed by yet another standalone, Evil Dead Wrath. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Sébastien Vaniček has been handed the keys to the kingdom, along with a cast of relative unknowns. At a wake, tempers flare and the dead indeed remain evil. You want buckets of gore? Check. Ridiculous over-the-top situations? Check. Despite the presence of the Necronomicon, Kandarian Dagger and a double dose of buzzsaws, this doesn't feel much like Evil Dead to me. It's too serious, too angry, too intense. It feels more like torture porn at this point, which was never the point of this series. Trading brutality for any sense of character development or story, it merely becomes a series of horrifying scenarios. Weirdly, it reminded me a lot of that Mummy movie from a few months back. Still, I'm of two minds about it; I enjoy the sheer balls of it, but feel like it's simply going through the motions. I really despise this blatant bastardization of the original Evil Dead brand. It's just not fun anymore.

2½ jackhammers out of 5

SOULM8TE (2026)

A software engineer grieving the loss of his wife decides to take the AI beta companion model out for a spin and easily falls for it when it presents as the perfect partner. As he tweaks her code and removes the restrictions to make her more human, of course it all backfires on him. This spin-off of the M3GAN series leans more towards sci-fi erotic thriller, as both the natural evolution of Her and Ex Machina, and yet another formulaic cautionary tale in the style of AfrAId. Personally, this is everything I've ever wanted in my life. Believe me, when robots get to the point of looking like that, I won't fucking care.

2½ Kegels out of 5

Her Private Hell (2026)

This. Movie. Is. So. Deliberately. Slow. When I went into it, I didn't even realize this was Nicolas Winding Refn's first new film in a decade, since the marvelous The Neon Demon. It involves an actress working on a sci-fi movie as well as a parallel storyline involving a man searching for his daughter in hell, and how these two stories intersect, I still have no idea. It features Refn's trademark dreamy style draped in red, purple and blue, and a superbly lush score by Pino Donaggio which I wish were attached to a more worthy film. It's a pretentious, fartsy, neon-soaked mess that succeeded in nothing more than sending me to sleep. I didn't know what was going on, but more importantly, I just didn't care.

1 Leatherman out of 5

Hadestown: The Musical (2026)

An intimate scaled-down performance, this filmed version of the hit Broadway musical tells the story of Orpheus and Eurydice: a penniless poet and a woman seduced by the promises of riches of an underground town. Though the story primarily revolves around the fate of these Greek characters, it's Persephone who stands out to me, trying to win back her lover Hades's hand. It's a simple tale, told over two and a half hours of a blues-infused jazzy soundscape. I like it for what it is, but my issue is more with the cruel myth that it's based on.

3 belladonna kisses out of 5

Moana (2026)

Welp, here we go again. Just 10 short years ago, the original Moana became a modern Disney classic. It earned a sequel which was equally beautiful, though less warmly received. Now they've decided to cash in on the original yet again with a nearly shot-for-shot recreation. The best you can say about many of these live-action remakes is that they're mostly the same, only worse. Luckily, the original remains in such high regard, that even a knockoff isn't enough to dampen its spirits. The practical locations are magical; it's the overabundance of CGI that bogs it down. Newcomer Catherine Laga'aia is cast perfectly as the seabound Moana, while The Rock reprises his role as the demigod Maui whilst rocking a full head of hair. It's far from terrible, it's just like, what's the point? To squeeze more milk from the mouse's teat. Still, I enjoyed it. It made me feel like a kid again, even though I was well into my 30s when I saw the first one.

3 Kakamora out of 5

Minions & Monsters (2026)

I'll admit, I haven't been keeping up with the Despicable Me series. This is the 7th overall film in the series, and the 3rd prequel spinoff to revolve around the Minions. I hate these yellow assholes with a passion. However, this one takes a slightly different tack and revolves around an alternative history of cinema, set in 1920s Hollywood. Since these pee-stained pricks only speak in nonsense gibberish anyway, it essentially takes on the feeling of a silent film. However, what had such great potential as a premise (for the first 15 minutes anyway) quickly devolves into colorful, low-hanging fruit to appease small children. It's a shame because as a tribute to early cinema and with fun film references peppered in for cinephiles (including a cameo from George Lucas), it elevates it from another trash entry but still fails to break out of the mold.

2 mini Cthulhu out of 5

Ulysses (1954)

AKA: Ulisse

Kirk Douglas stars as Ulysses, king of Ithaca. Punished by the gods for his role in the Trojan War, he is sentenced to wander the seas, continually knocked off-course and deprived of his memory. Meanwhile, his wife Penelope hangs on to hope that he's still alive, whilst fending off a league of suitors at home. This Italian-American co-production is a serviceable, condensed version of Homer that hits on many of the highlights, including the cyclops Polyphemus.

You know what I miss? The '50s version of buff, which still seemed attainable.

3 Trojan horses out of 5

The Odyssey (1997)

Odysseus sets off with his crew to conquer Troy at the beginning of an epic fantastical adventure set in a world of gods and monsters. What I like about this adaptation is that it tells the story in chronological order (unlike Homer), which makes it easier to follow along on the trials and tribulations of its hero's journey, and also helps to hammer home how long and plodding this voyage lasts. I would argue this two-part made-for-TV movie has a bit too much fluff added to pad its 3-hour runtime, but it's probably the most faithful regarding its content. Unfortunately, you can feel the constraints of the budget which hinders its overall vision, while the cheesy special effects easily date it.

2½ Nobodies out of 5

The Odyssey (2026)

Two things:

1) This is the best version of Homer's Odyssey ever committed to film.

2) This is far from the best telling of this story.

No one was less excited about this movie than me. Even with Chris Nolan at the helm, a 3-hour epic based on a 3,000-year-old text is a big ask. I'm glad to be proven wrong. Matt Damon leads the big budget, all-star cast as Odysseus. Following a 10-year battle in Troy, it details his 10-year journey to get back home to Ithaca, told confusingly out of order. It's Greek mythology conveyed through grounded realism, captured practically for the most part on real-life locations. In order to emphasize its epic scale, it's also the first feature to be shot entirely on 70mm IMAX film, which comes with its own set of caveats. I found the colors on screen to be a bit drab and the sound mixing is absolutely horrendous. I watched it in IMAX, and for half the film the entire theater was rumbling, making it even harder to decipher dialogue. It's an all-out assault on the senses, although it makes the quieter moments stand out. No one would ever accuse Nolan of being a bad director, but he tends to be a little self-indulgent at times. However, there are moments here where you are held at rapt attention. As a fan of cinema, you owe it to yourself to check it out on the biggest screen possible, even though I still maintain it's far from perfect. 

4 gods defied out of 5

Note: If you enjoyed this modern retelling, I highly recommend The Return, which focuses on the final part of this story. 

Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026)

Following the big spoiler at the end of No Way Home, Peter Parker is going through some pretty dramatic ch-ch-ch-changes. Meanwhile, he faces off against a powerful adversary who appears to be able to jump into different human hosts at will. It's your traditional comic book story involving heroes struggling to fulfill their purpose while overcoming great adversity, except this time everyone is firing on all cylinders (Punisher included). As always, humanity defines these characters, and at the heart of it, it's a warm, gentle story. I have nothing cynical to add. This is just a great Spider-Man adventure.

4 premature webshots out of 5

Note: Next up for our crew? Avengers: Doomsday, in time for Christmas 2026.

Jackass: Best and Last (2026)

Fun fact: I've seen every Jackass film on opening night since the first one was released in 2002. I love this stuff. It hits on a universal truth. It's only funny if it doesn't happen to you. You can't go into a movie called Jackass expecting high art. That's your first mistake. Once you meet it on its own level, you can enjoy the shenanigans. If you laugh, you don't get to claim the moral high ground.

We're all getting fucking old. None is more true than for the Jackass crew, who has put their bodies through the wringer over the past 25 years. Now in their 50s, they reflect back on their career highlights and lowlights, with a showcase of old footage and new. Disappointingly, it becomes a glorified clip show, with the new content being minimal and played a bit too safe. It's mostly a nostalgic trip down memory lane, but the Jackass farewell deserved better. 

This is far from the best that Jackass has to offer. Jackass Forever was a much better send-off for this crew. 25 years goes out with a whimper, not a bang.

2 peanut butter rectal exams out of 5

This is the Tom Green Documentary (2025)

Tom Green takes hold of his narrative by directing his own documentary, tracing his humble roots as a teenager interested in late night comedy to a modest rap career while making skateboarding videos. It's an interesting look into his life as a disruptor and pioneer of bizarre alternative comedy, from a grassroots public access show in Canada, to MTV, movies and beyond. What becomes immediately apparent is that there was always a method to the madness. It's a bit of a vanity show, cherry picking clips that reflect favorably on his career, but at the cost of getting an all-access pass to the behind-the-scenes stories. It sums up a once-in-a-lifetime period of avant-garde and punk rock comedy in the '90s and early aughts that wound up defining a generation, inspiring the likes of Jackass, Tim & Eric and The Eric Andre Show in his wake and innovating the podcast format with his early internet radio shows.

 

3 Slutmobiles out of 5

The Contestant (2023)

In 1998, Japanese comedian Tomoaki Hamatsu (better known as Nasubi) took part in a televised challenge requiring him to live alone in a small apartment, isolated and cut off from society, with no clothes or food, subsiding only on winnings earned through magazine mail-in sweepstakes, with the goal of amassing one million yen worth of prizes. Having viewed the original footage from Susunu! Denpa Shōnen for myself, I can confirm it's even more gonzo than you can imagine. It's an early example of extreme reality TV exploitation, exploring all the morality and grey areas contained within, although I like to see it more as an enormous triumph of raw determination and a celebration of the human spirit. Honestly, I'm not living too far off from this right now.

3½ bags of rice out of 5

Jeff Ross: Take a Banana for the Ride (2026)

Jeff Ross, the "Roastmaster General," tells the story of his life in this one-man show performed live on Broadway. And boy is it a tough one, filled with death, tragedy, cancer and alopecia. The one true throughline is pain, but Ross is able to weave the humor masterfully through the tragedy, resulting in laughs and tears in equal measure, and makes himself vulnerable to the audience before turning the stage on them. This is a masterclass in empathy and selflessness and looking for the "good" in everything, even when it doesn't seem to exist.

3½ bruised bananas out of 5

Are We Good? (2025)

A portrait on Marc Maron, a neurotic, embittered comedian who deals with the loss of his partner, filmmaker Lynn Shelton, during the pandemic. Maron has always had a dark, sardonic disposition when he bares his soul on stage, but here he struggles to make light out of his grief. He comes off disagreeable and cantankerous most of the time, which makes him hard to stomach, yet is completely understandable given the circumstances, and honestly makes him feel more relatable than other personalities who have nothing original to say.

3 litter boxes out of 5

Brats (2024)

Being a child of the '80s, I found myself really invested in this documentary. It's a fly on the wall journey, following actor Andrew McCarthy attempting to reunite with his old colleagues after thirty-some years. It opens up about their uncomfortable relationship with the term "brat pack" (coined in 1985 as a play on "rat pack") which stigmatized many of their careers (although Rob Lowe and Demi Moore escaped relatively unscathed). As an outsider who missed that phenomenon by a few years, I never looked down on the brat pack label. In fact, I purposely sought out all of those films. And after having watched this, I want to go back and see them all again. The 1980s are like comfort food to me. I kind of wish it had been a reunion for all of them, rather than just Andrew's story, but there is some catharsis in following that personal journey. Sad that Molly Ringwald declined and Judd Nelson didn't end up being a part of it, since he seemed to be the one who was most affected by it in older interviews.

3 scathing articles out of 5

Pamela, A Love Story (2023)

First of all, I'm glad that this documentary "went there." It doesn't really shy away from any of the ugly parts of her life and embraces all the embarrassing details. I was also surprised how much nudity they included, since you figure at some point her sons would watch it (I was very relieved that they seem to have turned out well, despite all the shit they went through). That being said, with how raw and open she is about everything that happened to her, it's still shocking to me how a sex tape effectively ruined Pamela's life and career, yet became a stepping stone for the likes of Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian. I feel like that's the most fucked up thing; that she never really got her due or was able to build and control her own image (similar to Marilyn Monroe, I suppose). I was actually very moved and proud of her for headlining Broadway as part of her "redemption arc." It's inspiring how she pulled herself together and still seems keen on working in the arts. She definitely needs more opportunities to keep her busy and stop her from regressing into more empty marriages.

3 centerfolds out of 5

Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie (2023)

Michael J. Fox was dealt a bad hand. Diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in 1991, he kept his condition to himself for almost a decade, when he became a public advocate and eventually created his own foundation for Parkinson's research in 2000. And the poor guy has been hanging in there ever since.

I put this off for awhile, but it's a really great doc. It doesn't shy away from the harsh realities of his condition, but treats it with empathy, kindness, humanity and dignity. It's also really fucking funny. I guess you have to have a strong sense of humor in order to survive that kind of tragic day-to-day struggle.

The way they combined old film/TV footage and outtakes in order to tell the story of his life was brilliantly put together. I've been a fan since Family Ties and the Back to the Future films, so there was a lot of history there. I feel so bad for the man, because you can still see the same light shining from behind his eyes; he simply can't control his movements. And all those falls and breaks and pins inside him...it's just heartbreaking to fathom. Selfishly, all I can think about is how much my life would be improved if I had a partner like Tracy in it. Despite all the bullshit he's had to endure and everything he's suffered for the past 30+ years, he's still pretty lucky to have someone like that by his side.

3½ takes out of 5

Val (2021)

Throughout the course of his life, Val Kilmer shot hundreds of hours of home movies and personal footage, spanning 40 years. After being diagnosed with throat cancer in 2015, these archives were uncovered and assembled into a documentary told through his own words and narrated by his son, Jack Kilmer.

A promising young man with a playful persona, Val was a misunderstood artist typecast in a number of roles who lived life to the fullest while struggling to find his voice. It's a raw and intimate and deeply reflective journey ultimately ending in tragedy, but there is great power in having a voice and being able to tell one's own story, even when ironically it has been cruelly taken away. 

3 top guns out of 5

Chris Hemsworth: A Road Trip to Remember (2025)

After being diagnosed with early-stage Alzheimer's, Chris takes his dad Craig Hemsworth on a trip down memory lane through the Northern Territory of Australia as a bonding exercise and an effort to recapture the past, since it's been proven that reminiscence therapy can slow down cognitive decline. The subject matter in itself makes this inherently sad, even as it celebrates a life, while Chris confronts his own genetic predisposition towards the disease. Although it can all feel so fruitless at times, there is also the cynicism that this type of experience can only come about through a publicly funded project. 

3 Crocodile Hunters out of 5

Stiller & Meara: Nothing is Lost (2025)

Ben Stiller directs this film as a touching tribute to his showbiz parents who performed together as a double act for decades. While going through their personal belongings in preparation of selling their home, it becomes about Ben and his sister's story as much as it is about their parents, told through home movies, audio recordings and letters left behind. It's a deeply affecting and often uncomfortable look at growing up amidst fame and professional embitterments, told through the uniquely skewed perspective of being an actor. It's very much a family affair that soon becomes a healing project and a way of connecting with his own kids, who grew up with similar experiences.

3 contained emotions out of 5

John Candy: I Like Me (2025)

A portrait on the late actor who starred in 43 films in his 43 short years. Still remembered fondly by fans and all who knew him, he was larger than life, but known for his kind heart and gentle nature. If you're looking for dirt, you won't find it here. No one has nary a bad word to say about him. His only demons were the ones he was battling in silence. A lot of his story is told in his own words, as well as through his SCTV castmates, and especially his collaboration with John Hughes. He resists being typecast as the fat man, while seeming very secure in who he is, which remains relevant 30 years after his death. Like John Belushi or Chris Farley, he appears to live on with each new generation.

3 smiles through the pain out of 5

Note: Hearing Catherine O'Hara give John's eulogy hits doubly hard now. R.I.P.

Marty, Life is Short (2026)

Comic actor Martin Short has led a life lined with many failures, punctuated by death and tragedy, but in the process managed to find his own voice. Filled with madcap energy, and ever the life of the party, his efforts might come off as exhausting, but his sensibilities are always funny. His greatest success was with his wife Nancy, whom he shared 36 years with before her life was cruelly curtailed. Lawrence Kasdan's documentary explores the behind the scenes through home movies and celebrity interviews, who all praise the man behind the persona, previously a one-note joke, but now more in demand than ever.

3 insults out of 5

Steve! (Martin): A Documentary in 2 Pieces (2024)

"Do you ever get sad because you're not as happy as you think you should be?"

Steve Martin has always been an enigmatic figure to me, even though I've been watching his movies ever since he turned grey. Fascinating to see how his rocky childhood, Disney upbringing (working at a magic shop) and 15 years of stand-up helped hone him into the wild and crazy guy he would become. And yeah, even the banjos stretch back that far. This doc contains a lot of rare footage and newly filmed interviews, and even a couple of candid moments of raw emotion. The first half covers his upbringing up until his "retirement" from stand-up in 1980, while the rest encapsulates the breadth of his film career all the way to his successful stage show with Martin Short. It's a good overview a life well-lived; recommended for fans and comedy nerds alike.

3½ arrows through the head out of 5

I'm Chevy Chase and You're Not (2025)

An impartial look at the comedic actor known for playing bumbling, arrogant characters with his trademark acerbic wit, from his beginnings with National Lampoon to his meteoric rise on Saturday Night Live; and the flourishing film career at the height of his popularity, before his perceived fall from grace. 

I've always liked Chevy Chase. Even when the world says you shouldn't like 'this person' because of 'this, that or the other.' Honestly, I relate more to the outcasts than anything. Once you get past his thorny exterior, you realize he's full of contradictory layers; thin-skinned and sensitive to criticism, but just wants to be loved. Even when he rubs people the wrong way, there's a self-awareness of coping and pain behind his eyes. This doc features him, warts and all. My only complaint is that it feels like it merely scratches the surface.

3 pratfalls out of 5

Lorne (2026)

Lorne Michaels, the maverick behind Saturday Night Live for the past five decades, is given his own spotlight here, where he is as cagey, elusive and stoic as ever, including to his own friends and co-workers. This doc attempts to penetrate the mystique that surrounds this aura with a cheeky narrative approach that guesses at half-truths, along with some candid footage of the man behind the curtain at Studio 8H, where he ushered in an era of counter-cultural voices and leaves behind an enormous legacy of comedic talent. Yet, at the end of the day, we still don't know much more than when we started. 

2½ Dr. Evil impressions out of 5

The AI Doc: Or How I Became an Apocaloptimist (2026)

What is A.I.? That's the first question the film poses and I was already lost from there because nobody seems to agree on anything. Interviews with leading experts in the field are juxtaposed with the story of a guy whose wife has recently become pregnant and is worried about the world their children will inherit. Predictably, it's filled with lots of doom and gloom and fearmongering, but it's a complex, multifaceted issue. Told in three parts—the pessimists, the optimists, and the realists—there is also a fourth part to the story: the people getting rich off this technology, which is really all it boils down to. Like the Space Race 2.0, it's a rush to whoever can get to the finish line first. The scary part is that this technology exists in the hands of everyone, so it can be exploited for their own gain depending on their moral values, which is where the true evil lies. At a certain point, I find myself on the side of the robots.

Part of the problem with this doc is that technology moves so quickly that a lot of this information already feels obsolete. Before long, it becomes clear that none of these so-called "experts" know what the fuck they're talking about. It's all endless speculation. There are good and bad outcomes, but nobody knows for sure what will happen. No one can predict the future, not even A.I. 

In short, this movie stressed me the fuck out. I did not feel assured by the end.

2½ Arthur C. Clarke predictions out of 5

Mel Brooks: The 99 Year Old Man! (2026)

An informal sitdown with the director/writer/actor/producer extraordinaire, recounting his storied career through new interviews and a wealth of archival materials culled from his 75+ year career. Literally 99 at the time of release, Brooks remains a natural showman and a gifted storyteller, demonstrating a brilliant mind of quick wit and even quicker retorts, while exploring the many contradictory sides to the man; comedy icon, serious introspective, political provocateur. Yet he proves himself to be a real mensch. This extensive deep dive interweaves his body of work with his private life; his longtime marriage to Anne Bancroft and his lifelong friendship with Carl Reiner. And death. A lifetime of death and tragedy follow you when you're the 2000 Year Old Man.

All of this rare footage is so entertaining and engrossing that it's hard not to develop a ton of respect for someone who claims to be so tasteless and ribald, yet has contributed such a lasting legacy to film. I'm glad I saw it while he's still alive because I expect it would hit a lot differently after the fact.

4 more hits than flops out of 5

Note: Features the final on-screen interviews of David Lynch and Rob Reiner.

Music by John Williams (2024)

A cursory glance into the life and storied career of composer and conductor John Williams, although it leaves out much of his vast, 70+ year repertoire.

Jaws, Star Wars, Superman, E.T., Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park, Harry Potter, etc. You know the music. He's a part of all our collective psyche. John Williams was long overdue to have his own documentary, and here he tells his story in his own words, along with interviews from filmmakers and fellow composers, many of whom I had never seen their face before. It seems like no one has a bad word to say about the man; everybody praises him and it's hard to argue with the results. Mr. Williams himself comes off as humble, intelligent and charming. If it was even possible for me to have more respect for him, I did. 

Spielberg knew the genius of Williams early on and hitched his wagon to him from the start of his journey, and they brought out the best in each other. Not just collaborators, but great friends. It's exciting to see their collaboration in motion in behind the scenes footage, and also learning that it was Spielberg who convinced Williams and Lucas to work together and score Star Wars.

On a personal note, JW is responsible for so much of my love of filmmusic and classical music alike. An inspirational figure through all of his 100+ scores. He represents the music of childhood and the rich symphonic tapestry to my life.

4 leitmotifs out of 5

Ennio: The Maestro (2021)

AKA: The Glance of Music

A comprehensive look into the life, legacy and extensive career of Italian film composer Ennio Morricone. Known for so much more than the "wah wah" sound of Sergio Leone's spaghetti westerns, his rich orchestral soundscape spanned the course of 500 compositions in 75 years, which is an incredible metric by any standard. Featuring in-depth interviews from contemporaries, the biggest treasure trove here is a newly filmed conversation with the maestro himself, completed shortly before his death in 2020. It's an exhaustive deep dive that revisits his career, decade by decade, landing on all the greatest hits. As the ultimate retrospective, it's impossible to cover the entire breadth of his work, but this is a good start. None is more deserving of such a celebrated tribute.

4 cinematic vistas out of 5

Piece by Piece (2024)

Hip-hop mogul and producer Pharrell Williams inexplicably tells his life story through a documentary presented entirely in animated Lego form. Why? is the question I kept asking myself throughout. Pharrell experiences the world through synesthesia, which is a way of processing everything through color in the mind's eye. It's your typical, cookie-cutter rags to riches story, with the usual rise and fall (ever so brief) before inevitably coming back stronger than ever. Nevertheless, it contains a wide range of songs from his musical career and it succeeds by marrying the colorful images and catchy songs together. However, at the heart of it all, it still feels like a cynical ego-driven vanity project. I probably would have enjoyed this more as a series of music videos.

2½ Lego McNuggets out of 5

Billie Eilish - Hit Me Hard and Soft: The Tour (Live in 3D) (2026)

Over the past two decades, James Cameron has directed three movies about tall blue alien dudes...and this, a concert film/documentary featuring 24-year-old, 10-time Grammy winner Billie Eilish during the final leg of her 2025 tour. It's a dynamic performance full of spectacle and boundless energy, as the pop singer-songwriter bounds up and down the 360° stage with a swollen ankle. No matter what you think of her music, you have to respect the gumption and raw talent it takes to command a stage like that, while we observe glimpses of her working hard behind the scenes. It's the very definition of a vanity piece, but it's made with the fans in mind, so you know you're going to get a lot of footage of teen girls crying in the rafters. It's the closest approximation to a live concert experience I've probably ever had sitting in a movie theater.

Regardless of whether you're a fan or not, this is what true power looks like.

3½ bad guys out of 5 (duh)

EPiC: Elvis Presley in Concert (2025)

While Peter Jackson is busy preserving The Beatles' legacy, Baz Luhrmann is doing his part for Mr. Presley. As part of his research for the 2022 biopic, Elvis, he came across newly uncovered archival materials and stitched them with audio recordings from the King himself to create this ultimate documentary and concert film, told through his own voice, some 50 years after his death.

What's great about this movie is how much it humanizes the man, because there is a tendency nowadays to tear down and reframe the past from a modern perspective, and it's become increasingly easy for people to cast aspersions towards people who are no longer around to defend themselves.

Interweaving interviews with behind-the-scenes footage, the film is at its best when it allows the raw performances to play out in full, and becomes frustrating when it chooses to chop up performances with vocal overlays. 

Digitally restored with enhanced audio, it looks and sounds great, which makes it a must-see for any fans. It features Elvis in his prime; always the premier showman, with a playful stage persona, he lives up to his reputation.

4 hip gyrations out of 5

Michael (2026)

The long-awaited, "official" Michael Jackson biopic finally arrives, and I was its biggest skeptic. Honestly, while I was entertained throughout, it does feel less than impressive. It sands down most of the edges, but still manages to hit all the biggest story beats and peculiarities, like his obsession with Peter Pan and exotic animals (complete with CGI Bubbles), various surgeries and the infamous Pepsi incident. It only tells about half of the story (from 1966 to 1988) and basically turns into a concert film at the end, but mostly focuses on Michael's strained relationship with his abusive father and how he finally manages to break free and come into his own. His story is larger than life to match his massive talent, but the music speaks volumes and remains as iconic as ever. Jaafar Jackson (real-life nephew to Michael) embodies his spirit, even as I was put off by the uncanny valley cast by all the makeup and prosthetics involved therein. Michael had a real gift that can't be denied, even to those who are dedicated to smearing one's legacy. While it can be argued that it's heavily sanitized and has no teeth, it ends on a high note rather than a low.

The movie: 3 nose jobs out of 5

The music: 5 moonwalks out of 5

Note: It's amusing to me that Mike Myers basically plays the same type of executive character here as he did in the Queen Bohemian Rhapsody biopic.

Young Washington (2026)

Sadly, this isn't a case of a Mel Brooks-style spoof starring Gene Wilder and Marty Feldman. Which would have actually made this pile of shit watchable.

Just in time for the semiquincentennial of the United States of America, this patriotic hogwash is a dry, stale series of historical reenactments steeped in 18th century propaganda. I know it's become the vogue thing to shit on history, especially when it comes to celebrating victory steeped in violence, but this is a very sanitized PG-13 version of events, full of divine intervention, which doesn't seem especially historically accurate. It follows young Georgie as he makes his way up the ranks of warfare, stopping just short of the American Revolutionary War, with the Declaration of Independence and his Presidency merely relegated to a footnote. I don't have any issues with celebrating key historical figures, but I do have a problem with lame nationalistic messages being passed off as light entertainment. This movie feels like school.

1 quarter out of 5

Supergirl (2026)

Supergirl deserves her due. Kara isn't just some carbon copy of Superman. She's a reluctant hero with a punk rock attitude. Unfortunately, it feels like she's been sidelined for most of her own movie. As the second film in the DCU, this doesn't feel part of a cohesive whole. The stakes are curiously low. Lobo is in it for some reason, but doesn't really justify his inclusion. Milly Alcock is super as the titular heroine, but by the time she's kicking ass in the suit, it's already fallen victim to a generic capeshit plot. It does exactly what you think it's going to do. No subverted expectations here. It lacks all of the darkness and emotional depth that made Superman stand out for me, which doesn't bode well for the DCU's future. It's too bad because I was rooting for her all along.

2 bastiches out of 5

Note: Next project in the DCU will be the limited series Lanterns this summer, followed by the theatrical release of Clayface, just in time for Halloween '26.

Toy Story 5 (2026)

The reason this franchise hits so hard is because it's clearly made by people who love film and have a fond remembrance of childhood. Each one has been about embracing and leaving behind the past, and as we get older, so do our memories. The farther away we are from those experiences, the harder it hits.

This one tells the story of how electronic devices are leaving the traditional brick and mortar toys in the dust and forcing kids to grow up too quickly. It's easily the most depressing entry of the series and makes me feel older and more obsolete than ever because it hits on an inevitable truth. It seems like it's on the verge of having something significant to say, but then bails out at the last minute. It's a shame. Can't disparage our technological overlords, I guess...

2½ Lilypads out of 5

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Boy, 2019 feels like a long way behind. This film features the vocal talents of Don Rickles, Carl Reiner, Betty White, Estelle Harris and Carl Weathers, all of whom are no longer with us anymore. It also predates COVID, which feels like simpler times. Film truly is a time capsule. It's important to preserve the past.

Likewise, this franchise understands the value of legacy while continuing to take risks and reinvent itself, branching out in all new directions. This film is about those left behind who must move on from the past in order to find new purpose. It does it in traditional Pixar fashion and succeeds with flying colors.

This would have worked better as the last film in the series, but, you know...

3½ sporks out of 5

The Death of Robin Hood (2026)

Did we really need a dark and gritty version of Robin Hood? This is basically Logan without the mutant healing factor. Once known for stealing from the rich and giving to the poor, now the legendary outlaw slaughters everyone for their goods, rich and poor, old and young. Although the bulk of this film takes place on an island as he recovers from an attack, which was exceeding dull and monotonous to slog through. The problem was I just didn't care. The biggest struggle was trying to stay awake. I couldn't wait until it was over.

1 bloodletting out of 5

Disclosure Day (2026)

I have to take a moment to appreciate that it's 2026 and we're getting a new original Spielberg sci-fi epic with possibly one of the last original scores by John Williams. These days feel numbered. Spielberg has been obsessed with extraterrestrials his entire career. It feels like he's completing a cycle here that began nearly 50 years ago with Close Encounters of the Third Kind. In many ways, he's been working towards this film his entire life. The scale is smaller and more intimate, but the implications are timeless. We've all grown so cynical in this day and age, yet I admire how he makes magic and wonder seem possible again in the world, even if it only exists on the silver screen.

3½ cardinals out of 5

Scary Movie (2026)

Reboots are all the rage these days. Just as Scream called out the idea of the requel (both a reboot and legacy sequel), this "rebootiquel" aims its sights at cancel culture and poking fun at Gen Z. The Wayans are back, restoring their own particular brand of R-rated humor to the franchise. It casts a wide net, but their target is far too broad. Despite the plethora of modern and niche horror references and meta, self-referential humor, it doesn't feel as though it will age as well as the first two. It's funny, but never quite as funny as it should be. It's filthy, but not quite as filthy as it could be. And yet, when the humor hits, it hits HARD. I never wanted it to end. It's comforting to see the old gang and that early naughts humor back again, even if it's just a shadow of its former glory.

2-and-a-half-gay shit out of 5

Stop! That! Train! (2026)

What if a bunch of drag queens made Airplane!? Answer: It would've sucked balls. A runaway train is headed directly towards the eye of a "Stormaganza" and the conductor is taken out of commission, so it's up to the Glamazonian stewardesses and the President of the United States (RuPaul) to get them back on track. I'm a sucker for anything that follows in the broad footsteps of ZAZ, even when it's diluted by modern day sensibilities and wokeness, but this is such lazy, ill-conceived, low-hanging fruit. To turn a spoof of disaster flicks into something this disastrous takes a special kind of talent all its own. The result is something that feels far too safe and "inclusive" rather than poking fun at everyone equally. This feels like the absolute antithesis to Scary Movie.

½ a hot flashback out of 5

I Am Not an Easy Man (2018)

AKA: Je ne suis pas un homme facile

Okay, so I saw it. 

A chauvinist man bumps his head and winds up in a parallel universe where gender roles have been reversed and women are the dominant sex. Unlike the American remake where everything is an exaggerated stereotype, here the differences are more subtle, and it has fun with the premise rather than being overtly preachy. Some of these distinctions feel cultural, such as women being topless and sporting body hair, which seems rather European in nature. 

The reason this movie doesn't work is because if you were to reverse the gender roles back, it becomes a rather trite story that doesn't hold up to scrutiny. A lot of these outdated clichés went out in the '90s. However, it's not as one-sided as the remake makes it out to be, and it at least falls back on a clever ending. What I learned here is what a big difference 8 years can make.

2 pectoral landing strips out of 5

Ladies First (2026)

A misogynist hits his head and wakes up in a misandrist's world dominated by women, effectively inverting their positions. Once you get the joke that every single gender role is reversed, the plot doesn't get any deeper than that. What doesn't make any sense is that the men are all feminized and the women are endowed with masculine qualities, which contradicts the very message it's trying to put across, so I'm not sure what this film is trying to say. The endless moralizing on screen comes off condescending, exhausting and insufferable. And without any of the male empowerment roles that are afforded to women, the men here are all portrayed as either weak or evil, with no in-between. It might be considered problematic if the whole thing wasn't so fuckin' stupid. 

Remake of the French film, I Am Not an Easy Man, which I have no plans to see.

0 testicle bras out of 5