The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026)

What is it about Nintendo and Mario that continues to capture the imagination? Is it the colors, the character models, the music, or the simplistic but polished game design that keeps reinventing itself across every new generation?

Having recently revisited the first movie, I realized it didn't hold up as well as my initial viewing. It's a lot of bright colors and nostalgic music that feeds on memories of childhood. Similarly, this sequel crams in as much fan service as possible to the point where it feels like ADHD personified. It's the movie equivalent of a theme park ride that is as good as whatever happy memory you bring to it. Nothing compares to your own personal video game journeys.

2½ Star Fox crossovers out of 5

Mufasa: The Lion King (2024)

What to do after you've already remade the movie and want to bleed more money out of the IP? You make a prequel! Mufasa, the original King of the Pride Lands (and father to Simba), gets his own backstory and of course all it does is succeed in undermining the original film. We've been down this road before. It plods along like a dull roar, with original songs from Lin-Manuel to help keep the action moving. I found it a bit too sycophantic and strangely politically motivated, although it ultimately managed to win me over (but just barely).

2½ Milele out of 5

The Lion King (2019)

For some reason, they thought they'd remake the seminal classic The Lion King as a "live action" film with photorealistic animals. It's about as pointless an exercise as remaking Psycho, in my opinion. Trying to add emotion to an animal's face is foolhardy, so the bulk of the performance comes through the all-star voice cast. It's basically made for the latest generation of kids who grew up on CG movies rather than traditional cel painted animation. It gets good marks for essentially replicating the exact same plot and layout of the original (with some additional fluff), but you might as well just stick to the classics. While competently made, I have no desire to see this version again.

3 circles of the Hollywood machine out of 5

SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING [2017]

Clown director Jon Watts is curiously given the big order of bringing Spidey fully into the MCU with the John Hughes inspired Spider-Man: Homecoming.
Wasting no time with an origin story, the film dives right into the action with a band of criminals use the alien wreckage from The Avengers' New York battle to become a threat that might be too big for Spidey to handle on his own.
By ignoring the Uncle Ben story there's little tragedy to flesh out the character of Peter Parker and instead it opts to focus more on his struggles a "normal" teenager.  Apart from this major flaw the film is purely entertaining popcorn escapism in fine form with one of the MCU's best villains to date.

3½ Cappy America Public Service Announcements out of 5

THE MARTIAN [2015]

After a string of badly received films, director Ridley Scott returns to form with his adaptation of Andy Weir's online serial novel, The Martian.
Like his most recent film before this, Matt Damon plays an astronaut, thought to be dead, who is left alone in space and must use his few supplies to find a way to contact Earth in order to get back home.  Aiming to be as scientifically realistic as possible the film is a fascinating watch, as Damon's character figures out to use his scarce resources as a means to survive.  Fortunately Damon is America's good ol' boy, who you could take out for drinks with the boys or home to have a slice of apple pie with Grandma, so it makes a lot of the solo screentime all the more likable.  I was delightfully surprised to see how funny the film turned out to be, considering how overly serious Scott has been in the past decade or so.  Unfortunately all the characters who aren't Damon are about as interesting as lint-balls and take up more time than I would have liked.  It's not a perfect film, like it's being made out to be, but it's pretty darned entertaining.

3½ horrible music selections to be stranded with out of 5

THE LAZARUS EFFECT [2015]

Director David Gelb's horror film The Lazarus Effect sat on the shelf for two years and from what I can tell, most of the good parts rotted away in storage.
The ridiculously short running time of 86 minutes gave me enough time to get fully absorbed into the story about resurrecting the dead in a university science lab.  It completely creeped me out with it's isolated Alien like lit atmosphere and beautifully set nightmare sequences but then the story fell to complete shit.  In the blink of an eye, it tossed out all the interesting questions it asks the viewer and forgets it's wonderful atmospherics for an over abundance of disappointing done-to-death horror movie kills and scares.  A talented cast, great set-up and creepy ethics all go to waste to what I can only assume were rushed re-shoots by a studio that got cold feet.

2½ bags of potato chips from Dean Pelton out of 5

HARMONTOWN [2014]

Director Neil Berkeley, who documented the life of oddball artist Wayne White in Beauty Is Embarrassing, focuses his attention on another creative misfit, Community creator Dan Harmon, in Harmontown.
After being fired from his own television series, Harmon took his experimental podcast series on the road to meet his adoring fans, all the while learning many painful things about himself.   The film makes no attempt to candy coat the man's boorishness, alcoholism and constant need to clash with everybody (including himself) but that's the part that makes him all the more interesting and easy to relate.  I went in expecting to dislike Harmon a bit more while still adoring his rapid-fire wit and creativity, instead I came out astonished by the emotional punches it pulled.  Fans of Harmon will most likely get the most out of this film but there's still some characteristics and moments I think everyone could learn from.

3½ human hand grenades out of 5

THE TO DO LIST [2013]

Writer Maggie Carey makes her feature film directorial debut with the raunchy comedy The To Do List.
Starring Aubrey Plaza, it's pretty much the female version of American Pie, so don't expect award-winning film-making here.  It sets out to be funny and offend without asking the viewer to turn on their brains and with that it almost succeeds in being quite humorous.  However it occasionally loses it's edge and doesn't offer a whole lot of outrageousness that keeps films like these powering full steam ahead.  Still, it provided enough laugh out loud moments to keep me from checking my watch to see how much longer it will go on for.

2½ not Caddyshack pranks out of 5

Mystery Team (2009)

Mystery Team, I want to grab you by the shoulders and shake you. You should be that movie that I bug everyone I know to watch. You have a cast full of hilarious actors. You have a terrific premise. You have lines I want to quote over and over again. But every time I watch you, something falls a little short.

I want Mystery Team to feel like it was made by Edgar Wright, but it feels more like an SNL movie. It's great in short bursts, but is wildly uneven on a whole. It's so close to being great that sometimes it's almost painful to watch. As long as you can appreciate it for what it is rather than what it could have been, it's a pretty entertaining little film.

3 long nights of cocaine out of 5