Honey Don't! (2025)

The second in Ethan Coen's "loose" lesbian B-movie trilogy, full of murder and sex and lots of senseless violence that leads nowhere. Margaret Qualley does her best Natasha Lyonne impression as private eye Honey O'Donahue, while Aubrey Plaza plays her prospective love interest and Chris Evans portrays a polyamorous cult leader. Aside from some skin, I didn't find it very titillating. I recall feeling a similar way about Drive-Away Dolls, although at least that one had a fun MacGuffin element. It's pretty empty at the end of the day, and the more I mull on it, the less I enjoyed it. The whole thing is a mess and I'm being generous with my rating because I like the way it was shot, but that's about it.

2 fingerings out of 5

My Old Ass (2024)

Three girls take shrooms in the woods. One of them manifests her future "old ass" self, who dispenses valuable wisdom and life advice. Then she promptly disappears. Her younger self attempts to follow these instructions to a T, but makes her own mistakes along the way. An interesting take on the coming-of-age genre. Made my eyes leak more than once due to the raw, affecting performances. Doesn't reinvent the wheel, but it's simple enough in its execution to get the job done.

I liked it. 'Nuff said.

3 boys named Chad out of 5 

Megalopolis (2024)

There comes a time in every filmmaker's life where hubris eclipses genius and talent. This is that moment. Francis Ford Coppola's magnum opus of shite is a sprawling epic futuristic mythological fable which already sounds like a mouthful just to describe it. The plot has something to do with an alternate version of New York called "New Rome," where an architect with the ability to stop time (which never really comes into play) has plans to build a utopian city, while clashing with the forces around him. After that, your guess is as good as mine. It's as if the Wachowskis teamed up with Chris Nolan to make a Charlie Kaufman flick, but failed on all counts. Coppola tried to swing for the fences and make his Metropolis, but somehow he made Caligula instead (minus all the fun bits). I can admire doing something bold and daring and different, but there is no excuse for a bad, boring, incompetent movie. This was a complete and utter waste of time, and my experience of life has not been enriched for it.

1 boner bow and arrow out of 5

MIKE AND DAVE NEED WEDDING DATES [2016]

TV director Jake Szymanski makes his theatrical debut with the vulgar comedy stylings of Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates.
Two party-hardy brothers need to bring dates to their sister's Hawaiian wedding in order to prove to their family that they don't fuck everything up, only to find the girls they bring are a lot more trouble than they can handle.
The silly comedy, rather than being particularly smart or charming, benefits heavily from the chemistry of the hilarious cast with Aubrey Plaza stealing every scene she's in.  Young Canadians will get a kick out of (or shrivel up in horror) seeing beloved youth TV personality Sugar Lyn Beard do stuff they'd never imagine.  It's not the type of comedy that will be remembered for much but while it's on it revels in it's crude hilarity with disgusting enthusiasm.

3 happy happy endings out of 5

The Driftless Area (2015)

In this quirky and understated crime drama, people on the fringe of not only society but reality itself are involved in a relatively simple story. The bare bones plot is slathered in BS filler in the form of reoccurring discussions on the metaphysical nature of the future and predetermined fate. In his feature-length directorial debut, Zachary Sluser achieves an intriguing tone. There is an obvious passion behind the performances but nary a raised voice. Even when shit gets heavy, there's still a calmness to the action. Anton Yelchin and John Hawkes are particularly anemic. There are times when it's difficult to decipher where each character stands; in life or in death, but I believe it adds to the whimsical mystery of the film.

3 lucky rocks out of 5

LIFE AFTER BETH [2014]

I ♥ Huckabees writer Jeff Baena's directorial debut, Life After Beth is a disjointed zom-rom-com that sputters out a few moments of promise.
Aubrey Plaza is grotesquely playful as Beth, a girl who has no memory of returning from the dead and wonders why her family won't let her lead a normal life.  Dane DeHaan is horribly miscast as her boyfriend that stumbles around while trying to pick up where they left before her "incident" without letting her in on the whole six feet under thing.
While it's nice to see a zombie movie shuffle the whole "epidemic" thing far into the background and instead focus on the character relationships, there's simply nothing imaginative or really funny here, apart from a few good chuckles.   

2 smooth jazz tunes for the recently deceased out of 5

THE TO DO LIST [2013]

Writer Maggie Carey makes her feature film directorial debut with the raunchy comedy The To Do List.
Starring Aubrey Plaza, it's pretty much the female version of American Pie, so don't expect award-winning film-making here.  It sets out to be funny and offend without asking the viewer to turn on their brains and with that it almost succeeds in being quite humorous.  However it occasionally loses it's edge and doesn't offer a whole lot of outrageousness that keeps films like these powering full steam ahead.  Still, it provided enough laugh out loud moments to keep me from checking my watch to see how much longer it will go on for.

2½ not Caddyshack pranks out of 5

CHARLIE COUNTRYMAN [2013]

Fredrik Bond's feature length directorial debut comes in the form of the stylish crime drama Charlie Countryman which seems to channel Nicolas Winding Refn and Danny Boyle.
...in other words, it's kind of crazy.
Toss in a heavy dose of twisted rom-com elements and you have yourself the type of film that is visually dazzling, well-acted and unpredictable with a great soundtrack to boot.  A wave of melancholy is washed over the tension, humour, debauchery, insanity and brutal violence to give it a sense of warmth in the center.  It's simple enough to scare away the snooty film nerds but a bit too weird to attract the average movie-goer and in the end probably won't find much of a home in many viewer's hearts with the exception of the odd-bird scattered around the world.

4 tuba players out of 5

Someday This Pain Will Be Useful to You (2011)

The story of a seventeen-year-old intelligent but disillusioned loner whose family want him to fit in with their functioning dysfunctional lifestyle. I usually enjoy this kind of film, but the youthful James (Toby Regbo) has almost nothing to actually complain about. His problems are as shallow as the people he criticises. A good kick up the ass would sort him right out. Even when something meaningful happens it just skims off the surface of his underdeveloped self, not penetrating the core of the character. I enjoyed it for what it was but felt it could've been so much more.
Regbo reminded me of a younger version of Jude Law, which I realise is a cruel thing to say, but it's true.

2 breakfast rhythms out of 5

MONSTERS UNIVERSITY [2013]

Dan Scanlon, director of Tracy, brings a lot of color and flair to the prequel to the 2001 Pixar hit Monsters, Inc. with the equally as entertaining Monsters University.
Like the first film, it doesn't quite meet the imaginative high standards of other Pixar films like Up, Wall-E or the Toy Story series but it has a thoughtful charm and thoroughly wholesome energy that leaves you smiling.  I can easily say I quite enjoyed this one and would watch it again to feel the warm & fuzzies.

3½ fifty foot tall librarians out of 5

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

To continue dating the girl of his dreams Scott must first defeat her seven evil exes. That’s pretty much all there is to it. There’s some character growth buried under the pop culture/video game mash up clusterfuck that would've been more poignant had I developed any emotional attachment to the surface deep characters, but that didn't happen.
I'm usually a fan of Edgar Wright’s humour, but it threatened to kill every brain cell I had left; after forty minutes it felt like I’d been watching for hours. I was desperate for it to end, but it just kept on going. He deserves credit for the visual flair, transitions, sound effects and for being faithful to the source medium by including speed lines and text, etc, but it's one pilgrim’s journey that I’ll never be taking again.

2½ levels out of 5

SAFETY NOT GUARANTEED [2012]

Romantic comedies are a dime a dozen, so it's nice when something like Safety Not Guaranteed comes off the beaten path with a different sort of approach.  With the Duplass brothers (writers & directors of Cyrus & Baghead) as producers, you're pretty much guaranteed something a bit weirder than usual.

Dry humored funny girl Aubrey Plaza plays a reporter who sets out to investigate a classified ad, put out by Mark Duplass, in an impressive performance, asking for a partner to time travel with.  Even though the film has a strange concept, it's the performances and heart that carry this charming little film.

3½ zithers out of 5