Little Miss Sunshine (2006)

Dad's high strung. Mom is stressed out. The son's a nihilist. Grandpa is thorny. The uncle's depressed. The daughter is obsessed with making it to the beauty pageant in time. This is a perfect family road trip comedy in my eyes. No notes.

5 broken horns out of 5

The Last American Virgin (1982)

Boaz Davidson remakes his own popular Israeli film for American audiences. Transposing the action to the '80s, the subject matter hasn't changed much. Gary is a teenager obsessed with losing his virginity, but he has his eyes on the beautiful Karen, who doesn't see him the same way. It's taken me almost three decades to finally come to terms that this is probably the superior film with deeper character development, although it's still a toss-up which has the better soundtrack. It's both crude and nuanced, but it's the last act of each film that elevates it from the usual teen fodder and will stay with me forever.

4 cases of crabs out of 5

Lemon Popsicle (1978)

AKA: Eskimo Limon

American rock 'n' roll music and nubile young women. What could be better? Being the guy who winds up with the girl, of course. Set in late '50s Tel Aviv, Benji and his horny friends are consumed with women and whose humorous misadventures in pursuit of sex usually end up blowing up in their faces, when Benji falls for new girl Nikki and feelings gradually become more complicated.

Inspired by coming-of-age films like American Graffiti and Summer of '42, this classic teen sex comedy then went on to influence the likes of Porky's, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Revenge of the Nerds and American Pie. As Israel's highest-grossing film of all time, it spawned a huge franchise numbering 9 or 10 entries. I've always meant to watch them all, but have yet to find quality subtitled versions. Looks like I'll have to put it off for yet another year...

4 dick measuring contests out of 5

Lorne (2026)

Lorne Michaels, the maverick behind Saturday Night Live for the past five decades, is given his own spotlight here, where he is as cagey, elusive and stoic as ever, including to his own friends and co-workers. This doc attempts to penetrate the mystique that surrounds this aura with a cheeky narrative approach that guesses at half-truths, along with some candid footage of the man behind the curtain at Studio 8H, where he ushered in an era of counter-cultural voices and leaves behind an enormous legacy of comedic talent. Yet, at the end of the day, we still don't know much more than when we started. 

2½ Dr. Evil impressions out of 5

Ladies First (2026)

A misogynist hits his head and wakes up in a misandrist's world dominated by women, effectively inverting their positions. Once you get the joke that every single gender role is reversed, the plot doesn't get any deeper than that. What doesn't make any sense is that the men are all feminized and the women are endowed with masculine qualities, which contradicts the very message it's trying to put across, so I'm not sure what this film is trying to say. The endless moralizing on screen comes off condescending, exhausting and insufferable. And without any of the male empowerment roles that are afforded to women, the men here are all portrayed as either weak or evil, with no in-between. It might be considered problematic if the whole thing wasn't so fuckin' stupid. 

Remake of the French film, I Am Not an Easy Man, which I have no plans to see.

0 testicle bras out of 5

Lee Cronin's The Mummy (2026)

A new take on the mummy legend, this original concept feels like it has more in common with The Exorcist or Evil Dead Rise, which was Cronin's last film.

After missing for 8 years, a young girl is recovered from a sarcophagus in a catatonic state, where her family tries to rehabilitate her at home. This film is darkly funny and sick and has that strand of Evil Dead DNA running through it. It's loud and brash, and the sound design is vicious, where you can feel every crack and crunch on the soundtrack. However, all of these elements don't necessarily make it a great horror movie; just really aggressive and intense.

2½ pedicures out of 5

Love Story (1970)

"Love means shutting the fuck up" [paraphrased]

Oliver and Jenny are young attractive people who, despite being complete opposites (he's a Harvard preppie jock, she's a blue collar musician), fall madly in love. Although you wouldn't know it, since they never stop bickering. Due to their different backgrounds, they have to make concessions with each other, including going against the wishes of those around them. Unfortunately, their idyllic romance doesn't last for long before tragedy strikes. It's a corny movie (even at the time of its release), but I admire it because it's sincere and I'm a sentimentalist at heart. It may be weepy and saccharine, but there's a reason why it's endured for over 50 years. Being cynical all the time is exhausting.

The theme by Francis Lai is a classic. It's on the pantheon of great romantic scores next to Romeo & Juliet (1968), Summer of '42 and Somewhere in Time.

4 undisclosed conditions out of 5

Ladyhawke (1985)

I think one can only appreciate these older fantasy films 40 years after the fact. You have to overlook a flurry of budgetary issues, atrocious acting and uneven plot pacing, but overall, they provide a charming outlook which feels oddly quaint in hindsight. Richard Donner's film certainly has the budget, but Matthew Broderick is weirdly miscast and the humor doesn't quite work, while Michelle Pfeiffer quietly embodies the mysterious title character. It's a gentle tale, not bound to ruffle many feathers, but I enjoy it as light romantic fantasy.

3 days without a night out of 5

Legend (1985)

The tale of a fair maiden, a boy who is pure at heart, and an unholy presence who casts a shadow over their love, descending the world into eternal winter.

I unabashedly defend this film despite all its flaws. And there are many. It's a family friendly fantasy full of wonder and darkness. Not much happens for a large part of this film. Intellectually and emotionally shallow, the strength of its charm comes through gorgeous visuals and evocation of mood. The bloated budget lends to its broad appeal, filling its halls with goblins, elves and fairies, while Tim Curry is an intimidating presence as Lord of Darkness. It's not quite The Princess Bride and it isn't Labyrinth, but it exists somewhere in between those worlds in my mind. I would want to live within any frame of this film.

3½ unicorn horns out of 5

Note: Infamously, there are three different versions of this film (not unlike Blade Runner and Brazil), from the shorter U.S. theatrical version (with music by Tangerine Dream) to the longer European and director's cuts with the original, restored score by Jerry Goldsmith. In an attempt to be as fair as possible, my rating represents an average mean across all three iterations.

The Long Walk (2025)

Based on Stephen King's first completed novel (as Richard Bachman), "The Long Walk" is an annual event where fifty teenage boys compete to walk the furthest in order to win a hefty cash prize and a "wish" at the end of it. The catch? If you stop walking, you die. It's a dystopian survival tale reminiscent of The Hunger Games and Squid Game where we see what lengths poor people will go for money, all for the entertainment of the wealthy and powerful.

This one is a hard sell because you're basically watching people walk for two hours and there isn't a ring in sight. It's grim and harrowing and unlikely to rouse one's spirits, but I find that refreshing somehow.

3½ final warnings out of 5

Love at First Bite (1979)

"Children of the night...shut up!"

George Hamilton stars as Dracula, who travels to the Big Apple to pursue the object of his desire, a fashion model he saw in a magazine. It's your basic fish out of water story, as he's foiled by modern conveniences, attempts to seduce his beloved, and avoids the descendant of Van Helsing. There are laughs to be had, although not as consistently as one would hope from this campy material.

2½ incorrect ways to kill a vampire out of 5

Last Shift (2014)

A rookie cop on her first night on the late shift finds herself alone in a police station with weird, unexplained goings-ons. This one managed to scare the wiggins right out of me. It's Silent Hill-y and very effective in its simplicity.

3 exit wounds out of 5

Lake Mungo (2008)

A family mourns the accidental drowning of a 16-year-old girl and begins to witness supernatural apparitions of her in this pseudo-documentary captured in found footage form. It takes itself so seriously, it's easy to get caught up in the dramatics, which makes the emotions resonate deeply. There's something inherently freaky about studying images on a grainy videotape and possibly seeing something out of the corner of your eye. It's a slow burn psychological horror that doesn't rely on jump scares, but lives on the outskirts of your mind.

3 reflections out of 5

The Lonely Guy (1984)

After discovering his girlfriend in bed with another man, Larry Hubbard is downgraded to lonely guy. He befriends fellow lonely guy Warren, who gives him tips like buying a fern for company, getting a dog to meet women and not to nap more than once a day to avoid the shock of remembering who you are.

The initial premise of this film is ingenious, and it's worth it for all the setups that feel all-too-familiar. After that, it settles into a bit of a conventional plot which drags the rest of the movie down, but it's full of so many moments of sheer brilliance and depressing truths, I can't award it anything less than:

3½ cries in the night out of 5

Liar Liar (1997)

A lawyer who can't lie. Hilarity ensues. This might have been a forgettable comedy if not for the brilliant physical comedic performance of Jim Carrey, and it is gleefully profane for a "family" film. I'm always surprised they never tried milking this idea for all it's worth, because it's such a great concept to suppress one's natural instincts. Jim is at the top of his game here and it shows.

4 reeeee blue pens out of 5

Loaded Weapon 1 (1993)

AKA: National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon 1

Emilio Estevez and Samuel L. Jackson team up in this spoof of the buddy cop genre that takes aim at Lethal Weapon and 48 Hrs, as well as Basic Instinct, Silence of the Lambs, Die Hard, Wayne's World and other hit films of the day.

I always found it amusing that Emilio did this while his brother Charlie was dicking around with Hot Shots!, but he capably takes up the comedy mantle. As always, you have to be in the right mood for this kind of silly humor, but if you're in particular playful spirits, this stuff hits hard. Conversely, if you're in ill spirits, this could just as easily be described as exhausting and boorish.

Chock-full of so many B-list cameos, I couldn't even fit them all in the tags.

3 gratuitous beaver shots out of 5

Note: Despite the number in the title, they never made a sequel.

The Life of Chuck (2024)

Mike Flanagan continues his successful collaborative effort with Stephen King in this spellbinding esoteric mystery revolving around a dude named Chuck.

Truth be told, the less said the better. Go into it blind as I did. It had a profound effect on me, even as I discovered how it all pieced together early in Act III.

This one won't be for the Materialists.

Proves that there are still great King adaptations to come.

4½ multitudes out of 5

Lilo & Stitch (2025)

A live-action remake of the modern Disney classic upgrades Stitch from a lovable 2D character into a 3D CG model. Something gets lost in translation, because all the charm is missing and it feels like the soul has been ripped out of it. I thought the relationship and chemistry between Lilo and her sister Nani was handled well, but the rest of it feels ham-fisted and shoehorned in. In the end, it's just another substandard remake, made to bleed the IP dry for a new generation who can't be bothered to watch movies older than 20 years old.

2 kuleana out of 5

Lilo & Stitch (2002)

An alien monster known as Experiment 626 escapes from his lab and hops a ship to Earth where he crash lands on the island of Kaua'i. He encounters lonely outcast Lilo who adopts the newly christened 'Stitch,' passing himself off as an intelligent dog-like creature while being pursued by the aliens in disguise. As two misfit halves of the same coin, they complement each other perfectly. The film is made charming by the colorful Hawaiian flavors and catchy soundtrack filled with original tunes and classic Elvis Presley songs.

Spawned three sequels, a television series and an (ugh) live-action remake.

3½ ʻohana out of 5

The Legend of Ochi (2025)

The Ochi are a race of apelike creatures that are being hunted into extinction. When a baby Ochi is separated from its mother, a young girl defies her strict family (Willem Dafoe and Wolf Dickhard) in an attempt to reunite it back home.

This was a lovely little fantasy adventure, reminiscent of classic '80s Amblin vibes, The NeverEnding Story and The Dark Crystal. The creature itself brings to mind Gizmo from Gremlins (combined with the cuteness factor of Baby Yoda). Practical creature effects, old school puppetry and animatronics help bring this world to life and gives it all of its personality and charm (no CGI involved!). This is a film you could imagine Jim Henson might have had his hand in. It's a very minimal tale in all of its simplicity, but quite mesmerizing and moving. You don't often see gentle family films like this being made anymore.

3½ blue caterpillars out of 5