No Hard Feelings (2023)

A woman struggling to make ends meet takes a job from wealthy parents to "date" their introvert son in order to get him out of his shell and prepared for college. God, what a fucking fantasy this is for someone like me. Although it gets most of its mileage at the expense of ageist jokes, I don't see anything wrong with age discrepancy in a consensual relationship. It's a return to R-rated raunch and I appreciate seeing full frontal nudity in a comedy movie again. Good on JLaw for embracing her natural assets and having fun with it.

3 Chinese dick traps out of 5

Mel Brooks: The 99 Year Old Man! (2026)

An informal sitdown with the director/writer/actor/producer extraordinaire, recounting his storied career through new interviews and a wealth of archival materials culled from his 75+ year career. Literally 99 at the time of release, Brooks remains a natural showman and a gifted storyteller, demonstrating a brilliant mind of quick wit and even quicker retorts, while exploring the many contradictory sides to the man; comedy icon, serious introspective, political provocateur. Yet he proves himself to be a real mensch. This extensive deep dive interweaves his body of work with his private life; his longtime marriage to Anne Bancroft and his lifelong friendship with Carl Reiner. And death. A lifetime of death and tragedy follow you when you're the 2000 Year Old Man.

All of this rare footage is so entertaining and engrossing that it's hard not to develop a ton of respect for someone who claims to be so tasteless and ribald, yet has contributed such a lasting legacy to film. I'm glad I saw it while he's still alive because I expect it would hit a lot differently after the fact.

4 more hits than flops out of 5

Note: Features the final on-screen interviews of David Lynch and Rob Reiner.

Ladyhawke (1985)

I think one can only appreciate these older fantasy films 40 years after the fact. You have to overlook a flurry of budgetary issues, atrocious acting and uneven plot pacing, but overall, they provide a charming outlook which feels oddly quaint in hindsight. Richard Donner's film certainly has the budget, but Matthew Broderick is weirdly miscast and the humor doesn't quite work, while Michelle Pfeiffer quietly embodies the mysterious title character. It's a gentle tale, not bound to ruffle many feathers, but I enjoy it as light romantic fantasy.

3 days without a night out of 5

The Cable Guy (1996)

In a sharp turn from his earlier roles, Jim Carrey embraces the darkness in this satirical black comedy about a lonely cable guy who becomes obsessed when one of his customers (Matthew Broderick) bribes him for free cable, and inserts himself into his life, upturning it in every way. Critically reviled at the time of its release, it's since attained a cult following and showcases Carrey's unique ability to turn on a dime. It's much better than I gave it credit for at the time.

3½ CABLE GUBLAHS out of 5

Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)

Fourth-wall breaking Ferris is a confidently cocky role model for liars and phonies. He decides to take a day off school, but needs others to share in his fun lest his calculated brilliance go unnoticed. Enter the reluctant Cameron (Alan Ruck), the film's best character. On the surface Ferris is well-presented, but surface is all he is, whereas Cameron has depth and learns from his experiences. The third member of the group is Ferris' girlfriend (Mia Sara), whose role is mostly to smile wryly or sympathetically in reaction shots.
The determined school Principal (Jeffrey Jones), an authority figure that's mocked not just by students but by his own ill-considered actions, serves as a counterpoint to Bueller's carefree cleverness, but he's borderline slapstick. All in all, FB is an entertaining but much overrated John Hughes flick.

3 close calls out of

MANCHESTER BY THE SEA [2016]

If there was an award for dreariest film of the year, then writer/director Kenneth Lonergan's Manchester by the Sea would be the front-runner for such an accolade.
After his brother dies, a troubled man is forced to return to his hometown to take care of his mourning nephew, where his tragic past creeps up with no remorse.
The film's biggest strengths are it's acting talent, with Casey Affleck & Lucas Hedges taking center stage with what I feel is the best onscreen chemistry of 2016.  The actors are only as good as their material and there's plenty of mesmerizing scenes and dialogue to keep the audience captivated.  It is a bit slow in moments but no matter what you can't help but keep drawn into the films devastation.

4 bar fights out of 5

GODZILLA [1998]

I don't know how he pulled it off but director Roland Emmerich managed to make a Godzilla film dreadfully boring.

After years of pressuring, Toho studios finally agreed to allow Hollywood to take their beloved franchise and turn it into something resembling Godzilla in name only.
To the average movie goer who's never seen a Godzilla film, they're simply about a giant lizard that destroys cities and that's exactly what you get here.  There's no subtext, depth or thematic subtleties floating around here and "big lizard destroys New York" is about all you get in this shallow excuse for a good time.  It's a big, loud and unforgivably soulless shitfest that was clearly a money-hungry attempt to ride on the tails of Jurassic Park.

1 mutant earthworm out of 5

THE LION KING [1994]

Disney's take on William Shakespeare's Hamlet comes in the form of singing jungle animals in the beautifully animated The Lion King.
It's about a young lion cub who must reclaim his throne as the King, after his father is murdered by his manipulative uncle and a pack of ravaging hyenas.
Dig a little deeper and you find a tale of love, hope and the search for one's identity.  The expressively lush animation shines bright and keeps one's eyes glued to the screen from beginning to end.  Most of the voicework is pretty dull, with the exception of Jeremy Irons and Nathan Lane who both steal each scene they're in.  While the songs might be a bit much here and there, they're not overly offensive.  I couldn't help but pick apart Disney's idea of social hierarchy and how it treats brawn over brains, rich over poor and how we should just accept what we're born into.
Still, as an piece of animation, I couldn't help but be in awe of the dedication put into crafting it into what it is.

4 circles of life out of 5

The Stepford Wives (2004)

It’s both a new adaptation of the Ira Levin novel (1972) and a remake of the previous filmed version (1975), but it does nothing to further or respect the underlying principles upon which either was based. It throws a few gay guys into the mix, an addition that could've really tipped the balance in a dramatic way, but they’re as farcical as the rest of it.
Nicole is a good actress, so why does she make shit like this? Still, it’s not the vilest, most wasteful and unrewarding thing she's ever been involved with, if you know what I mean.

0½ an energizer out of 5