Ruthless People (1986)

Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker reunited on one last film before going their separate ways in the '90s. In a departure from their previous spoof style, they tackle a dark plot involving kidnapping, blackmail and murder which goes all sorts of wrong. Danny DeVito plays a man who despises his wife (Bette Midler) and plans to have her killed, when he finds out she's been taken and held at ransom by two desperate captors who don't know what they're doing. In some ways, this satirical black comedy feels like a precursor to Fargo. The result is wildly uneven at times, even though it contains many memorable moments.

2½ Stockholm syndromes out of 5

Hocus Pocus 2 (2022)

This sequel places the Sanderson Sisters front and center, which is a mistake. What happened to the kids from the first one? Thora Birch is old enough now. Meh. It attempts to revive some of the magic from (*checks watch*) 29 years ago, but it simply survives on the charm and chemistry of its three witchy leads. Fuck the kids. There is new backstory added (to make the villains seem even less menacing), but the whole thing loses steam pretty quickly. Unfortunately, it lacks any sort of edge, stakes or endangerment, and feels more like a safe, modern Disney Channel movie. It just goes to show how things have changed in the past 30 years, and it doesn't really get me excited about new content. The movie was passable (barely), but nothing I'll remember 20 minutes from now. For fans of the original only; there will be no converts here.

Oh well, at least they got poor ol' Billy Butcherson back.

2 trips to Walgreens out of 5

Hocus Pocus (1993)

Disney's cult classic about a trio of kids accidentally unleashing a curse and battling an ancient coven of witches. This one flopped upon release but found its audience years later through a constant appraisal during the Halloween season. While this is a family-friendly comedy (with notes of darkness), it's the kind of "PG" that would automatically be considered "PG-13" by today's standards, simply because everything has gotten watered down and kids are more sheltered than ever. This is a relic of a bygone era, and one I love to revisit time and time again.

Sarah Jessica Parker has never been hotter.

3½ yabos out of 5

The Stepford Wives (2004)

It’s both a new adaptation of the Ira Levin novel (1972) and a remake of the previous filmed version (1975), but it does nothing to further or respect the underlying principles upon which either was based. It throws a few gay guys into the mix, an addition that could've really tipped the balance in a dramatic way, but they’re as farcical as the rest of it.
Nicole is a good actress, so why does she make shit like this? Still, it’s not the vilest, most wasteful and unrewarding thing she's ever been involved with, if you know what I mean.

0½ an energizer out of 5