The War of the Roses (1989)

A fairy tale romance ends in embittered and protracted divorce proceedings in a fight for the house and all their possessions, which becomes more about payback and petty revenge. Director Danny DeVito portrays the lawyer, while Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner play the hapless couple, reuniting them and undoing their happily ever after from Romancing the Stone. I love DeVito's kinetic visual flair, which feels like it owes a lot to German Expressionism.

This is a darkly satirical comedy that will scare you off marriage for life.

3 chandeliers out of 5

Throw Momma from the Train (1987)

Danny DeVito's directorial debut is a pitch black comedy about a nebbish middle-aged man who lives with his overbearing mother and plots her demise when he becomes inspired by Hitchcock's Strangers on a Train and gets a struggling writer (Billy Crystal) to do his dirty work for him, in exchange for doing his ex-wife in. It's a comedy of errors that is frequently funny, and Momma (portrayed by Anne Ramsey) is a hilariously terrifying presence.

3 "The night was...moist" out of 5 

Ruthless People (1986)

Zucker, Abrahams and Zucker reunited on one last film before going their separate ways in the '90s. In a departure from their previous spoof style, they tackle a dark plot involving kidnapping, blackmail and murder which goes all sorts of wrong. Danny DeVito plays a man who despises his wife (Bette Midler) and plans to have her killed, when he finds out she's been taken and held at ransom by two desperate captors who don't know what they're doing. In some ways, this satirical black comedy feels like a precursor to Fargo. The result is wildly uneven at times, even though it contains many memorable moments.

2½ Stockholm syndromes out of 5

L.A. Confidential (1997)

Of the film's three leading men, not one of them is someone that I'd be happy to be stuck in a room with: LAPD detective Bud White (Crowe) acts as if he's above the law, allying himself with men who feel that they very much are; Ed Exley (Pearce) is a young cop who's governed by a strict moral code that's as sanctimonious as it is noble; and Jack Vincennes (Spacey) is an ego-driven prick who embodies the L.A. spirit of 'celebrity' status being everything, even though he's the least interesting of the trio.
Set against a backdrop of vice, prostitution and drugs, the film takes a while to hit its stride, but once it does it stays strong to the hard-hitting end. The tightly-woven plot occasionally gets buried under the taut layering, but a fiery clash of personalities keeps the Noir drama thundering along nicely.

3½ press labels out of 5

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

A sequel to Romancing the Stone (1984) that continues the story of Jack T. Colton (Michael Douglas) and romance author Joan Wilder (Kathleen Turner).
Joan, suffering from writer's block and bored with travelling the world in Jack's boat, seeks adventure (and inspiration) further afield, but once there discovers that it's not the creative plain sailing she was hoping for.
Danny DeVito also returns as Ralph, the incompetent villain hoping to acquire the titular jewel for his own purposes; i.e. a quick and easy profit.
The location is changed but the blend of bickering lovers and adventuring that characterised the previous film is retained. For a while it seems like it'll tick the same boxes, but it's not quite as much fun the second time around.

2½ umbrella tricks out of 5

ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST [1975]

Easily one of the best films of all time, director Miloš Forman's adaptation of Ken Kesey's counterculture novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest deserves all the endless accolades it receives.
A free-spirited hoodlum pleads insanity in order to serve his sentence in the mental hospital rather than endure hard labor on the prison farm.
A microscopic study of the deinstitutionalization of it's time and many of the questionable institutional processes that went through, the tale also reflects the madness of society and what might be the best way to find control within it.  A clash of cultural and behavioral beliefs make for some of the best character moments from stars Jack Nicholson and Louise Fletcher, who I believe are at their absolute best here.   Graced with humor, thoughtfulness and wonderful performances all around, Cuckoo's Nest is an off-kilter melodrama that despite being over 40 years old, still makes some great points that are as significant as they were yesterday.

5 day-trips without the day-passes out of 5

ROMANCING THE STONE [1984]

Director Robert Zemeckis' big breakthrough film came in the form of the comedic adventure/romance Romancing The Stone.
As fun and entertaining as it was back in it's younger days, the film doesn't hold up as well as it should.  In fact I found it to be a bit boring, apart from Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito's entertaining performances.  Michael Douglas seems a bit out of place at first but you slowly get used to him as the dashing hero.  Zemeckis' usual imaginative flair isn't present as the studios didn't quite trust this young whipper-snapper to carry a film without any interference.  It's fun but not quite enough to whole-heartedly recommend.

3 celebrations with one's cat out of 5

BIG FISH [2003]

Tim Burton's most mature work to date, an adaptation of Daniel Wallace's novel Big Fish is a fantasy flavored Southern Gothic tear-jerker that is sure to please fans of the director's work.
Like most of Burton's personal films, he ditches the idea of a standard narrative and tells it like a fairy tale vingette layered over a bigger picture as the heart of the picture, almost like a zanier version of Forrest Gump.  It's themes of father & sons, the curious mysteries of a bigger world and determination for what you believe all join each other seamlessly and will form a lump in your throat as you realize this.  It relishes itself in fantasy and larger than life storytelling but never loses touch with reality enough to insult your intelligence or lose your belief in it all.

4 soles in Spectre out of 5

MARS ATTACKS! [1996]

As much of a hugely unfocused mess Tim Burton's sci-fi comedy Mars Attacks! is, it's still one of my top five favorite films of his.

Inspired by 1960's Topps' trading cards of the same name, the film is more of a homage than a satire of 1950's sci-fi b-movies and 1970's ensemble cast disaster films.  Beneath all the goofiness and scattered chaos is a ruthlessly funny dissection of American society and culture that ultimately hurt it's popularity in the States but was a great success in the rest of the world.  It's colorful, loud, hilarious, tremendously corny and occasionally shocking, all of which makes for one of Burton's craziest films to date.  

3 peace doves of war out of 5

BATMAN RETURNS [1992]

Tim Burton never does sequels, so Batman Returns was somewhat of an oddity...in many different ways.
Michael Keaton is welcomed back sporting the cape and cowl, while he is joined by a host of other creepy characters. Danny Devito is both repulsive and oddly tragic as The Penguin, Michelle Pfeiffer is seductively hilarious as Catwoman and Christopher Walken is a delight as the shrewd cold-hearted businessman Max Schreck.
The satirical Returns comes off as more of a Tim Burton film this time around, with it's disjointed storytelling, Metropolis like sets swept over with a Christmas snow and wonderfully ludicrous humor.
It's my favorite of the live-action Bats flicks, because it never tries to replicate reality. This is pure dark fantasy and exactly what I want in a superhero film.

4½ Elephant Man references out of 5

Girl Walks Into A Bar (2011)

Something about downloading a freely distributed movie feels wrong to me. I don't get that same satisfaction of illegal piracy. Maybe there's something wrong with me.

This low-budget/big-name feature starts out like a David Mamet play with some good writing and snappy dialogue, then falls into dull routine like a cheap knock-off of a Robert Altman ensemble comedy. The subject matter involves random conversations in 10 bars with a common thread running throughout...which is all but abandoned by the halfway point. The main problem is that this movie never really goes anywhere, and I didn't find the individual scenes enjoyable in and of themselves.

If you want to see it for yourself, it's here (only available in the U.S.).

2 black censored bars out of 5...fuck you