Oh. What. Fun. (2025)

Michelle Pfeiffer plays a GILF who is hosting the holidays this year, along with an all-star cast who apparently had nothing else better to do. Each year, I suffer through a new crop of Christmas movies that always recycle the same ideas and morals, which is that family sucks, but they're your family, blah, blah blah. You know that's exactly what you're going to get here. I'm disappointed that this came from Michael Showalter because I was expecting something dark and subversive. It positions itself to become a holiday classic devoted to moms, but you can't force that shit; from all the intentional Christmas Vacation and Home Alone vibes littered throughout. The only reason why this isn't a total piece of shit is because Pfeiffer elevates everything she does and she looks fucking incredible for 67, but that's not nearly enough to save it.

1½ sorrowful renditions of "12 Days of Christmas" out of 5

Ladyhawke (1985)

I think one can only appreciate these older fantasy films 40 years after the fact. You have to overlook a flurry of budgetary issues, atrocious acting and uneven plot pacing, but overall, they provide a charming outlook which feels oddly quaint in hindsight. Richard Donner's film certainly has the budget, but Matthew Broderick is weirdly miscast and the humor doesn't quite work, while Michelle Pfeiffer quietly embodies the mysterious title character. It's a gentle tale, not bound to ruffle many feathers, but I enjoy it as light romantic fantasy.

3 days without a night out of 5

Amazon Women on the Moon (1987)

One of my favorite and most consistently entertaining sketch comedy movies, this anthology satirizes the experience of channel surfing through late-night television. Ironically, the titular film (a spoof of low-budget 1950s sci-fi films) is the weak link, although it cleverly weaves throughout the other segments, featuring a huge ensemble of celebrities and directed by some big shots. This shit is ribald and obscene and hilarious. They don't make 'em like they used to.

3½ remote controls out of 5

The Fabulous Baker Boys (1989)

Real life brothers Beau and Jeff Bridges play onscreen brothers Frank and Jack Baker, respectively, in Writer/Dir. Steve Kloves' mature drama about relationships both personal and professional. The duo are pianists, earning a living playing bars and functions, playing the same hackneyed songs over and over as they provide a soundtrack to other people's lives, but suffer their own. When Susie (Pfeiffer) storms into their midst, her seductive and destructive nature causes deep introspection.
There's a sombre tone, as if a spiralling downward motion is nearing its end, but there's a feeling that its corollary exists therein, waiting to break free.
Performances from the three leads are terrific. Being a counterpoint to the brothers means Pfeiffer stands out, but it's honestly some of her best work.

4 circular motions out of 5

Scarface (1983)

Pacino stars in a film directed by De Palma from a screenplay by Oliver Stone. With talent like that involved you know you’re in for something special.
Al plays a Cuban refugee in America, fresh off the boat. He’s hardened from the outset but his resolve solidifies even more when he equates the US political situation with his own. To escape it he pursues the American Dream, violently working his way up the ladder of excess, except the ladder in his case is more of a mountain that’s made from cocaine and cash that's lit from above by the neon pink and blue colours of 80s vice.
There are some old school De Palma moments throughout but mostly he plays things straight, allowing the story and the actors to be the main focus. It’s a long film but it needed to be.

4½ monogrammed furnishings out of 5

THE FAMILY [2013]

The Family is your typical Luc Besson violent comedy/thriller that will have most Western audiences scratching their heads.
An American family tied in with the mafia are relocated to France under the witness protection act, where they have trouble letting old violent habits die hard.  As a whole the film is a bit of an uneven mess but in pieces it's a highly enjoyable energetic way to spend your time on.  The cast are all spot-on, with Glee's Diana Agron turning in the best performance as a violently bat shit crazy girl falling in love for the first time.
As uneven as the film is, it's still quite funny in the darkest of ways and all comes into it's own in the awesomely intense climatic finale.

3 expressive fucks out of 5

WHAT LIES BENEATH [2000]

Director Robert Zemeckis channels his inner-Hitchcock with the supernatural suspense/thriller What Lies Beneath.
Scripted by Agent Coulson himself, Clark Gregg, the film was produced during the production hiatus of Cast Away so it has plenty of bumps and feels rushed at times.  Nevertheless it still manages to pack in plenty of twists & turns and harmless yet effective thrills & chills.  Zemeckis makes use of some fantastic Hitchcock-esque camera tricks while Alan Silvestri's string-heavy music feels like a modern Bernard Herrmann score.  Michelle Pfeiffer does a wonderful job as the leading lady but Harrison Ford seems horribly out of place.  It's heavily flawed and no where near up to par with Zemeckis' usual fare but still a great little ghost story.

3 green eyes out of 5

DARK SHADOWS [2012]

Director Tim Burton's big screen adaptation of the 60's gothic horror soap opera Dark Shadows rounds up the usual suspects: Johhny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee, Danny Elfman and quirkiness.

It's still fun to see these folks all work together, granted the material is quality, sadly that is not the case here.  Burton's usually good at blending campy humour with gory Hammer type horror but unfortunately he never seems to find the right balance and it hurts the film quite a bit.  As a dedicated longtime fan of Burton's work I still found some limited enjoyment in this mess but I'd advise you steer clear if you have no love for the man.

2½ glass witches out of 5 

BATMAN RETURNS [1992]

Tim Burton never does sequels, so Batman Returns was somewhat of an oddity...in many different ways.
Michael Keaton is welcomed back sporting the cape and cowl, while he is joined by a host of other creepy characters. Danny Devito is both repulsive and oddly tragic as The Penguin, Michelle Pfeiffer is seductively hilarious as Catwoman and Christopher Walken is a delight as the shrewd cold-hearted businessman Max Schreck.
The satirical Returns comes off as more of a Tim Burton film this time around, with it's disjointed storytelling, Metropolis like sets swept over with a Christmas snow and wonderfully ludicrous humor.
It's my favorite of the live-action Bats flicks, because it never tries to replicate reality. This is pure dark fantasy and exactly what I want in a superhero film.

4½ Elephant Man references out of 5