Stiller & Meara: Nothing is Lost (2025)

Ben Stiller directs this film as a touching tribute to his showbiz parents who performed together as a double act for decades. While going through their personal belongings in preparation of selling their home, it becomes about Ben and his sister's story as much as it is about their parents, told through home movies, audio recordings and letters left behind. It's a deeply affecting and often uncomfortable look at growing up amidst fame and professional embitterments, told through the uniquely skewed perspective of being an actor. It's very much a family affair that soon becomes a healing project and a way of connecting with his own kids, who grew up with similar experiences.

3 contained emotions out of 5

Wayne's World 2 (1993)

After being shut out backstage at Aerosmith, Wayne resolves to create his own music festival called Waynestock, inspired by a vision of Jim Morrison and Field of Dreams ("If you book them, they will come"). Meanwhile, his girlfriend Cassandra's (Tia Carrere) new sleazebag producer (Christopher Walken) is looking to steal her from under Wayne's nose, while Garth gets involved with a mysterious woman named Honey Hornée (Kim Basinger).

Less well regarded than the original, it's neither as funny nor memorable, but if you love these characters, there's little to dislike. Other than that, it's more of the same with Wayne and Garth, and that's good enough for me. Party on.

3½ weird naked Indians out of 5

Dune: Part Two (2024)

Picking up more or less where the first entry left off, we're treated to...more fucking sand. Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya make great decorative scenery against the bleak, unforgiving landscape, but the real highlight of this episode is the epic sandworm taming scene. I honestly found the majority of this film boring, and—surprise, surprise—we're left with yet another cliffhanger at the end of a three-hour snooze fest. Will they even make a Dune Messiah at this point? Who knows...it takes so long for them to come out with these movies, I doubt I'll even care by then. Sorry, it just wasn't for me. 

2½ sandworm goatses out of 5

Romance & Cigarettes (2005)

Written and directed by John Turturro, it's the story of husband and wife Nick and Kitty (James Gandolfini and Susan Sarandon), a couple having what polite society calls 'marital problems', but what makes the film more than the sum of its parts is the wonderfully written characters and dialogue. With just one exception, i.e. an oddly subdued Eddie Izzard, even those with a small amount of screen time (e.g. Steve Buscemi) are decidedly memorable.
It's classed as a musical, but songs are less frequent than the label usually implies. I'd describe it more as a left field comedy drama with moments of song that successfully convey feelings of love in many of its guises.

3½ butts in the snow out of 5

The Prophecy 3: The Ascent (2000)

I can't discuss the film until addressing the numbering. If a second movie uses Roman numerals in it's title, like Prophecy II (1998) did, then the third one should, too. it should be Prophecy III, not 3. You can't just switch to Arabic numerals and hope no one notices. What's next? Prophecy fourth? Prophecy Δ?
Okay, the movie: it continues the story of what came before but it's half-baked. Gabriel features but does little to justify his presence. The coroner is there simply to remind us what happened in parts I and II and then he's completely forgotten about. The excessive smash cuts are infuriating.
Overall, if not for the presence of Walken and Dourif it'd be indistinguishable from many of the second-rate supernatural/fantasy TV series from the 90s.

1½ times born out of 5

The Prophecy II (1998)

A direct-to-video sequel that nevertheless managed to lure Walken back into the role of Gabriel. We met just a few of the heavenly host previously, so we also get to meet more of those guys, with varying degrees of success.
It's a more action-driven experience than before, and at just 75 minutes in length (excluding credits) it feels more punchy too. But the semi-successful introspection of before has been lessened, resulting in a flick that's more comic-booky, more throwaway and altogether less ambitious.
I should probably give it points for the limited amount of philosophising about notions of love and free will that it did include, though.
I liked Brittany Murphy's character. She was slotted into an existing space, but the black comedy somehow worked better with her.

2½ hearts in hand out of 5

The Prophecy (1995)

Stories about war in heaven and angels using Earth as a battleground were less common when The Prophecy was released than they are now, so it's useful to view it with that in mind. Directed by the writer of Highlander (1986), i.e. Gregory Widen, it attempts a similar balance of fantastical and human story. As such, it's less action-packed than some of the other works I alluded to above. It's slowly paced in the first half, but more rewarding in the second.
On one side there's a cop with a religious background who's hunting for answers, and on the other is an angel played by Walken who's hunting for something entirely different, but the two things are connected.
The black comedy misfires about 99% of the time, but there's enough conflict and drama to keep the core subject matter interesting to the end.

3 perched arguments out of 5

The Dogs of War (1980)

It's not until the last quarter of the film that it even begins to resemble the explosive-looking MGM cover art. Prior to that happening it's a tense drama in which a mercenary (Christopher Walken) posing as an ornithologist goes on a dangerous reconnaissance mission to Africa in 1980.
The script (based on a 1974 novel of the same name by Frederick Forsyth that I've not read), the director and Walken himself do a tremendous job characterising the protagonist without taking the focus away from the seriousness of the situation unfolding around him. Likewise, the actor manages to convince us that he's both affected by and distanced from the aura of oppression that fuels every African scene; i.e. while convincing the authorities of disinterest, he allows us to perceive the weight on his soul.

3½ leaky barrels out 5

NOTE: version reviewed is the 118 min UK edition. The US edition is cut.

EDDIE THE EAGLE [2016]

For some odd reason director Dexter Fletcher & co. find it necessary to exaggerate an already unbelievable true story with Eddie the Eagle.
Inspired by British ski-jumper Eddie Edwards, the film follows his rise to fame as the most lovable personality to emerge from the 1988 Winter Olympics.
If they went so much to change the story, why couldn't they have avoided the endless amounts of underdog '80's sports movie clichés?  Maybe that's the point, if it is trying to emulate the films of it's time.  Thankfully Taron Egerton turns in a irresistible performance as the title subject, while Hugh Jackman is a ruggedly charming as ever as a drunken curmudgeon made up only for the film.  It's sweet enough to not leave a bitter aftertaste but leaves much to be desired.

3 dreams come true out of 5

THE JUNGLE BOOK [2016]

Joining Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland & Maleficent, director Jon Favreau's The Jungle Book is yet another addition to Disney's growing line of live-action remakes of their own animated classics.
This version mostly follows the plot of the animated film of an orphaned jungle boy being hunted down by a tiger, while leaning more towards the moodier and more vicious tones of Rudyard Kipling's anthology stories.  
It's an astonishingly beautiful film to look at with CGI animals that have convincing personality once you get past the fact that they don't quite look like the real thing.  There's not a whole lot of subtext or plot details to relish in, so it's best to take it with a grain of salt and accept that it's a wonderfully crafted summer adventure film.  

3½ bad ol' mama cuckoos out of 5

Welcome to the Jungle (2003)

aka The Rundown

A run-of-the-mill action movie with nauseating fight scenes and a buddy dynamic in need of a lethal injection. The Rock (when he was still called The Rock) is a 'retrieval expert' who goes to the Amazon jungle to manhandle someone who doesn't want to be retrieved.
I'm aware that he was basically doing what he did as Mathayus in The Scorpion King (2002), albeit in a more modern setting, but SK had heart and a sense of fun that wasn't forced. Welcome... has little of either of those things.

1½ hostile monkeys out of 5

The Sentinel (1977)

Michael Winner’s technique can be as subtle as a sledgehammer meeting a grapefruit, but I find a lot of his stuff watchable, nevertheless. Sentinel is technically a horror film, but it’s the kind of sinister horror that builds slowly from a foundation of regular drama, not unlike Rosemary’s Baby (1968) and The Exorcist (1973), two films from which it borrows heavily.
It’s the story of a female model that moves into a NY apartment complex and quickly discovers that her neighbours are an oddball bunch. Shortly after that strange things begin to happen in the night.
A lot of it failed to catch hold of me, but there are two scenes that I’ll never forget: an uninhibited Beverly D'Angelo and a very chilling finale.

3½ abandoned hopes out of 5

JERSEY BOYS [2014]

Director Clint Eastwood's first film of 2014 is a genre he rarely ever explored, a bigscreen adaptation of the 2005 Broadway musical, Jersey Boys.
It's the biographical rags-to-riches story of the popular 60's helium-voiced pop-rock act The Four Seasons, an era smack in the middle of the end of Sinatra and the beginning of The Beatles which most folk are not all that familiar with.  By breaking the fourth wall, the film wisely skips over the moments in the story we've all become too familiar with from other stories in these bio-films and explores some more interesting points in their career such as severe money problems and tie-ins with the mob.  It's cast to perfection with a host of relatively unknown faces, with the exception of the scene-stealing Christopher Walken who is still entertaining in even the shittiest of movies.  It's never particularly flashy or loud but it's modest enough to enjoy without ever getting particularly excited or too involved.  In short, it's a not a great film but a pleasing good one.

3 heavy safes out of 5

The Stepford Wives (2004)

It’s both a new adaptation of the Ira Levin novel (1972) and a remake of the previous filmed version (1975), but it does nothing to further or respect the underlying principles upon which either was based. It throws a few gay guys into the mix, an addition that could've really tipped the balance in a dramatic way, but they’re as farcical as the rest of it.
Nicole is a good actress, so why does she make shit like this? Still, it’s not the vilest, most wasteful and unrewarding thing she's ever been involved with, if you know what I mean.

0½ an energizer out of 5

SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS [2012]

Martin McDonagh's second feature length, the violent comedy Seven Psychopaths, doesn't set out to receive the critical acclaim In Bruges did but is guaranteed to become a cult classic all on it's own. 

It over-exaggerates the immaturity most of these "hip" crime dramas seem to dwell on and becomes a border-line parody of the genre itself.   It's clever and well-acted enough to not risk becoming overly silly but never takes itself too seriously either.  

Plus...Tom Waits has a feckin' bunny.  What more do you really need?

4 Quaker stories out of 5

SLEEPY HOLLOW [1999]

Director Tim Burton and Se7en screenwriter Andrew Kevin Walker loosely adapt Washington Irving's The Legend Of Sleepy Hollow and turn it into a slasher flick homage to the Hammer films.

It's visually stunning, musically powerful and features a top-notch performance from Johnny Depp, but a script that stinks of multiple rewrites and an awkward performance from Christina Ricci drags it down a bit, sometimes brining nearly bringing the pacing to a complete halt.  

It's not quite a film to lose your head over but enough to please Burton/Depp fans.

3½ bleeding Trees Of Death out of 5

DOMINO [2005]

Tony Scott directs this color washed, MTV styled flick loosely based on model-turned-bounty hunter Domino Harvey's life. From a Richard Kelly script, Domino does nothing to attempt any sort of character development and hopes it's flashy cuts, overly stylized camera work, entertaining cast and cool soundtrack can hold the viewer's attention for over 2 hours...it doesn't.
Keira Knightley's slick n' sexy performance is actually quite believable and strong but it's simply not enough to make it a film worth recommending.

2 Our Saviour Tom Waits out of 5

TRUE ROMANCE [1993]

Hookers. Cocaine. Guns.
...and Elvis.
Quentin Tarantino's first screenplay for the Tony Scott directed True Romance is a wild and stylish romp of a road movie. Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette lead an all-star ensemble supporting cast through a fantastical, glamorized violent world that looks more fun than intimidating. It's a little immature and offensive at times but this is Tarantino so it should be expected.
Filled with characters so stereotypical it's gleefully absurd, an in your face "too cool" soundtrack and Gary Fucking Oldman in one of his best roles, True Romance is a pulp cult classic that is pure guilty fun.

4 tips of the hat to Gassenhauer out of 5

Who Am I This Time? (1982)

Harry Nash works at a hardware store; he's a shy, awkward recluse, but when he hits the stage in the local drama group he becomes someone new entirely. It helps that he's Christopher Walken, who shows us why he's a legend in acting. I've never been a fan of Susan Sarandon but here she won me over. Don't turn off in the first ten minutes; I assure you it gets much better.

4 picnics in the wings out of 5

New Rose Hotel (1998)

Some nonsense about corporate extraction and the nature of truth and love. It's based on a short by William Gibson and translates his sense of detachment and cold impersonality to the screen; I'm not sure if that was intentional or just bad filmmaking. It's depressing and empty, but has Christopher Walken and Willem Dafoe, so it didn't get the stop button.
Features Japanese illustrator Yoshitaka Amano and daughter of Dario, Asia Argento, who gets on the cover because she has tits. If Walken had tits he'd probably be there too.

1½ style over substance out of 5