Dune: Part Two (2024)

Picking up more or less where the first entry left off, we're treated to...more fucking sand. Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya make great decorative scenery against the bleak, unforgiving landscape, but the real highlight of this episode is the epic sandworm taming scene. I honestly found the majority of this film boring, and—surprise, surprise—we're left with yet another cliffhanger at the end of a three-hour snooze fest. Will they even make a Dune Messiah at this point? Who knows...it takes so long for them to come out with these movies, I doubt I'll even care by then. Sorry, it just wasn't for me. 

2½ sandworm goatses out of 5

THE LOBSTER [2015]

Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos' English language debut The Lobster retains his oddball, unsettling sense of humor firmly intact.
Set in a strange reality where single folks are sent to live in The Hotel, where they must find a significant other in 45 days or they are turned into an animal of their own choosing and left to fend for themselves in the woods.
Like Lanthimos's previous works, it's going to leave mainstream audiences feeling like they wasted their time but those looking for something off the beaten path, they've definitely come to the right place.  Each actor deliver such understated performances, they become hilariously surreal that even the weirdest moments seem subtly organic.
Something this bizarre doesn't usually look as cinematic as it does but like it's punchy classically flavored score, it constantly lets off whiffs of Kubrick.
Where the wild roses grow, indeed.

4 toasted fap hands out of 5

LA VIE D'ADELE: CHAPITRES 1 & 2 [2013]

aka Blue Is The Warmest Color

I honestly wasn't expecting to get absorbed into Abdellatif Kechiche's adaptation of Julie Maroh's graphic novel Le bleu est une couleur chaude as much as I did.  

La Vie d'Adèle – Chapitres 1 & 2 might be nearly 3 hours long but I honestly wouldn't have minded it if it was longer than that it was so interesting to watch.  Adèle Exarchopoulos, who plays the title role, is simply amazing with her natural performance that speaks to you with each and every frame no matter how mundane her action is.  Hardly a moment is wasted as nearly every moment strengthens and further develops the characters into something more intricate and favorable no matter what their flaws might be.  My only real qualm would be the number of pointless sex scenes (one which clocked in at over 6 minutes) that did nothing to develop the story but maybe gave the director a collection of fap outtakes for his own private collection.

4 tasty snot-balls in a shell out of 5

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL [2011]

The Incredibles and Ratatouille director Brad Bird dives right into his first live action film with the fourth installment of the popular Mission: Impossible franchise.

With the help of J.J. Abrams & Tom Cruise serving as producers and a highly entertaining cast including Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner & Michael Nyqist, Bird flies high on this absurd yet tightly paced popcorn action flick.  Utilizing his animator's eye, Bird's use of the visual space and color is hardly ever wasted. Even the brilliantly inconceivable climax comes off as an action piece from a Pixar film.  Good fun and nothing more.

3½ Missiles headed towards Pixar home offices out of 5