Mission: Impossible - The Final Reckoning (2025)

29 years after he started the M:I franchise, Tom Cruise returns one last time to end it. And it couldn't come any sooner, as he's traded in his boyish good looks for someone closer resembling Buddy Hackett. Still, at 62, he's performing insane stunts and doing things that I could never do at any age, so you can't really knock it. Maybe there's something to that Scientology shit, after all.

Picking up shortly after the events of Dead Reckoning, The Entity is still an active threat (if somewhat an abstract construct) while the world is again at the precipice of succumbing to global devastation. It's exposition-heavy at times, and heavy-handed at others, but I mostly find it fascinating due to its finality. The improbable part is that they managed to tie up so many loose story strands from throughout the series in a satisfying way while weaving together all of the films. (Meanwhile, my impossible mission was trying not to piss myself for three hours.) It's a welcome return to form that succeeds in ending the series on a high note. Tom's mission, should he choose to accept it, is not to fuck it up by making another one.

3½ MacGuffins out of 5

Note: Huge shout-out goes to Ving Rhames, who has appeared in every single one of these films alongside Cruise, but never quite seems to get his due.

Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning (2023)

This entire series is the very definition of ephemeral entertainment. It's fun and exciting in the moment, but it just doesn't stay with you after it's over. At the best of times, it's a mindless popcorn flick; at the worst of times, it's smug and insufferable. How much longer can we keep pretending nothing is going to happen to this Gary Stu character? How many times can they make the impossible possible? These movies are filled with such clichés that only exist to feed Cruise's massive ego as a billionaire movie star adrenaline junkie.

This time, Tommy Boy goes up against the very concept of AI itself; a rogue system known as The Entity that spells the end of all mankind (if we're lucky). The biggest misstep of this installment is that it's long and occasionally boring. There are three memorable set pieces featured, and these are what make the movie worthwhile, especially the "big stunt" in the final hour of the picture. 

Fact: Every M:I movie is longer than the one that came before. Now we're up to 2 hours and 45 minutes to tell an incomplete story without an ending, as this was merely devised as "Part One"—to be concluded in The Final Reckoning.

2½ half-keys out of 5

Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018)

The 6th installment of Mission: Impossible is also somehow the best (tying it with Ghost Protocol), mostly because it pays off some longstanding story issues and further develops the character past the two-dimensional archetype with indestructible plot armor. This time the threat of nuclear war is at stake, but don't worry, Ethan Hunt is on the case and no mission is too impossible.

It features the typical extravagant action set pieces fans have come to expect (Tom Cruise actually broke his ankle during one of the stunts) and maximizes its mileage for the duration of its exhausting two-and-a-half hour runtime.

This was also the film where they decided Henry Cavill having a real mustache was more important than shaving it off for Superman, resulting in some costly reshoots for Justice League and meme-worthy CGI hare-lip screen grabs.

3½ fake news out of 5

STAR TREK BEYOND [2016]

Director Justin Lin gives Captain Kirk & Friends a fast & furious makeover for the third installment of the Kelvin timeline, Star Trek Beyond.
This time around we follow the restless Enterprise crew into uncharted space where they meet a Big Bad who's bent on destroying the federation.
It's a pretty straight forward story that feels more like an old episode of TOS, especially by dropping the heavy cynicism of the first two films and diving deeper into the search for hope in humanity.  More a character piece than story driven film, we get plenty of great moments with the cast that all share an easily watchable on-screen chemistry.  There's some unforgivable face-palmy moments but Trek's always had it's fair share of bits that easily out-dates itself best taken with a grain of salt.
It's not going to win over any folks already hissing at the series but for those already invested in this series than it's as pleasurable as Insurrection or The Search for Spock.  A welcome stand alone film treading water in a world of sequels that require knowledge of every film in the franchise.

3 big green hands out of 5

ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING [2015]

With big names like Simon Pegg, Eddie Izzard, Joanna Lumley, Robin Williams & all the living members of Monty Python involved, you would think writer/director Terry Jones' goofy fantasy Absolutely Anything would be comedy gold.
Sadly this is not the case and we're treated to a dim-witted bore about an average Joe who's given alien powers to do anything he could ever imagine which may or may not be a good thing.
With such an absurd idea and this sort of maniacal talent Jones should have let his cast improvise and let loose a little but instead everyone seems way too restrained and following the script line-to-line.  There's a few lukewarm laughs but in the end it does nothing but severely disappoint and make it feel like there really is bugger all down here on Earth.

2 Intergalactic Council of Superior Beings out of 5

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION [2015]

Usually by the fifth film in a franchise movie-goers are groaning "another one?" but due to being an immensely entertaining series, director Christopher McQuarrie's Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation is more than welcome.
This time around, while being hunted down by the CIA, Ethan & co. are determined to take down an international crime orginization, known as The Syndicate (olde tyme TV series fans will be giggling with glee).
Little Man Cruise proves he's a believable action star once again, while the rest of the cast back him up quite nicely, especially Rebecca Ferguson as an ass-kicking agent who may or may not be a friend.  Unfortunately Sean Harris (who I quite like) isn't given a whole lot to chew on as the villain and that hurts the threat of danger a bit.
There's enough going on here that proves it's got at least one more good film to go before it tires itself out.

3½ record store visits out of 5

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III [2006]

J.J. Abrams makes his feature film directorial debut with the third film in the immensely popular Mission: Impossible movie franchise.
Ethan Hunt comes out of retirement to hunt down a dangerous arms dealer who's kidnapped his wife.  Abrams does a wonderful job with a brisk pace that never slows down long enough to allow you realize how silly it all is.  It's pretty much a paint-by-numbers action film but has just enough enthusiasm and popcorn thrills to rise above boredom.  Cruise performs his obligatory bat-shit crazy stunt that never ceases to amaze but the rest of the action is nothing we haven't seen before.  It's tightly wound story never strays too far from it's mark and in the end will leave the action-junkie suitably satisfied, lens flare and all.

3 deadly head-aches out of 5

HECTOR AND THE SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS [2014]

Director Peter Chelsom's adaptation of French psychologist François Lelord's fictional novel Hector's Voyage or the Search for Happiness feels like it's 2014's The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.
Simon Pegg plays the title role as a psychiatrist that travels the world to seek out what truly makes a person happy.  Pegg is absolutely wonderful, displaying layers and nuances in his performance I didn't actually think he was capable of, while Rosamund Pike is as always irresistible.  Chelsom wisely plays down the fish out of water moments and instead focus mainly on the characters studies and what it all means, while remaining playful with bits of animation and miniature set pieces.  Unfortunately the film is weighed down by schmaltzy simplicity and life lessons that are easier said than done but in the end the good feelings can't be denied no matter how fleeting they may be.

3 Tintins out of 5

THE BOXTROLLS [2014]

Based on Alan Snow's off-kilter children's novel Here Be Monsters!, directors Graham Annable & Anthony Stacchi's The Boxtrolls is another stop-motion film that seems to be aimed at shopping mall goth kids who loved A Nightmare Before Christmas.
The story of a boy who was raised underground by a race of trash-collecting trolls only to have their peaceful existence put in peril when a nasty exterminator comes into the mix.  While the film is packed with plenty of visual splendor, a wild imagination and a macabre sense of charming humor it doesn't quite hit the mark.  The film-makers admirably spent so much time on nearly every jaw-dropping aspect of the film but somewhere along the line they forgot to give the leading characters a pulse and that's where it hurts the most.  With that in mind, put the really young ones to bed and you'll still find plenty to enjoy out of this film no matter where it fizzles a bit.

3 fish out of 5

THE WORLD'S END [2013]

The final instalment of Edgar Wright's Three Flavors Cornetto Trilogy comes as an apocalyptic alien invasion pub crawl in the coming of age sci-fi comedy The World's End.
Reuniting Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman and Paddy Considine as well as adding the scene-stealing Eddie Marsan to the mix makes for a fantastic character piece that's witty, heartfelt and hilarious.  At first glance, it's just as goofy as the first two films but under the surface it's actually quite emotional and thoughtful.  It's not as good as the Shaun Of The Dead or Hot Fuzz but it is by no means a disappointment.  It's a zany sci-fi comedy as well as a celebration of accepting the rather flawed humanity we're all a part of whether we like it or not.

3½ burly bathroom brawls out of 5

A FANTASTIC FEAR OF EVERYTHING [2012]

First time directors Crispian Mills & Chris Hopewell cast Simon Pegg as a struggling children's author who develops an unhealthy obsession with serial killers and murder in the black comedy A Fantastic Fear Of Everything.
With Pegg in it I thought it might be worth a laugh or two even if it is a bad film.  I was wrong.
Pegg sleeps walks his way through this dreadfully boring excuse for a comedy that drags it's feet on it's way to developing any sort of purpose at all.  There were some interesting animated bits thrown into the mix and a delightfully bitchy performance from Clare Higgins but beyond that it's just plain dull.

1 hedgehog out of 5

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS [2013]

A little bigger, darker and bolder than director J.J. Abrams & his Fringe team's first film in the franchise, Star Trek Into Darkness continues the "more balls than brains" version of Trek.
It stirs the excitement with adventure and intrigue, while taking us to brand new worlds that seem more in place in the Star Wars universe than Rodenberry's vision.  Nevertheless, with a simply deliciously cold and menacing performance from Benedict Cumberbatch and Chris Pine & Karl Urban stealing lens-flared scenes left right and center, the film is nothing more than good summer fun to butt heads with Iron Man 3.

3½ models of Zefram Cochran's ship out of 5

BIG NOTHING [2006]

David Schwimmer, Simon Pegg & Alice Eve are three bumbling losers trying their hand at crime in Jean-Baptiste Andrea's crime caper Big Nothing.

The film starts off a little bumpy as it finds difficulty in perfecting the balance of it's off-kilter black comedy but as soon as things start to spiral out of control for the trio the ball starts rolling and doesn't let up until the credits roll.  For being quite good friends in real life, Schwimmer & Pegg's onscreen chemistry is a little awkward and hurts the humorous moments a bit until Eve's character comes in and bridges the gap quite nicely. It's got it's huge flaws but all in all, Big Nothing is good, twisted fun.

3 Careful With That Axe, Josie out of 5

Run Fatboy Run (2007)

A comedy starring Simon Pegg as the running fatboy of the title. He does what he does best: the loveable loser type battling against criticism from the successful pricks of the world. The film is predicable and mostly devoid of laughs, which is not what I want from a comedy. It's not a disaster, though. It raises a few smirks along the way, so it never feels like a complete waste of time, but nor is it a great way to waste time. It's average in everything it tries to accomplish. Stumble, fatboy, stumble.

2½ urges to rewatch Spaced instead out of 5

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - GHOST PROTOCOL [2011]

The Incredibles and Ratatouille director Brad Bird dives right into his first live action film with the fourth installment of the popular Mission: Impossible franchise.

With the help of J.J. Abrams & Tom Cruise serving as producers and a highly entertaining cast including Simon Pegg, Jeremy Renner & Michael Nyqist, Bird flies high on this absurd yet tightly paced popcorn action flick.  Utilizing his animator's eye, Bird's use of the visual space and color is hardly ever wasted. Even the brilliantly inconceivable climax comes off as an action piece from a Pixar film.  Good fun and nothing more.

3½ Missiles headed towards Pixar home offices out of 5

THE ADVENTURES OF TINTIN [2011]

Based on Herge's Belgian classic comic book series, The Adventures of Tintin unites director Steven Spielberg, producer Peter Jackson, Shaun Of The Dead writer Edgar Wright and Doctor Who writer/showrunner Steven Moffat. With this many creative minds stirring the pot it's bound to be a bumpy ride.
It might not be smooth sailing all the way through but Tintin is certainly an entertaining computer animated adventure that has some great action pieces and colorful characters. Starring Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Daniel Craig and some very entertaining performances from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost, Tintin is nothing but a good-spirited, wild ride with an enthusiastic imagination spilling over the sides.

4 comic book likeness cameos out of 5

Hot Fuzz (2007)

All coppers are basta- not quite all. From the Shaun of the Dead (2004) team comes a parody/homage to the Hollywood buddy cop movie. It has the same kind of wry in-jokes and references to other films and their own past projects, so watch Shaun first. It’ll be even funnier if you've watched Point Break, Bad Boys II, the Dirty Harry films and even The Wicker Man!
Pegg plays it (mostly) straight while Frost is once more the comedy gold.
The swear-box gets a good filling.

4 the greater good out of 5

STAR TREK [2009]

When the mastermind behind TV's LOST, Alias & Fringe, J.J. Abrams was announced as the director of the 2009 reboot of the Star Trek franchise it created quite a stir with Trek fans and Abrams fans alike.
Apart from some unforgivable flaws and changes to the universe, Abrams take on the Trek is nothing short of an entertaining ride. Highlighted with a solid story, action, humor and wonderful spot on performances (particularly from Chris Pine, Zackary Quinto and Karl Urban) the new Trek is more balls than brains.
In a time with ridiculously dark comic book movies and brainless comedy after brainless comedy, Abrams optimism and humor in Star Trek is a refreshing breath of fresh air.

4 Wil Wheaton's voice is everywhere out of 5

SHAUN OF THE DEAD [2004]

Simon Pegg, Nick Frost & Edgar Wright, vets of the British TV series Spaced, come together again for the zombie comedy Shaun Of The Dead.
What's great about Shaun is that it takes it's zombies very seriously. Zombie film first. Comedy second.
It's funny enough to humor and entertain the casual viewer but filled with enough Spaced in-jokes and past zombie film references to delight the hardcore fans as well. Wright's near perfect direction is complimented with a talented cast and excellent use of "old" zombie film music both original and re-recorded. Fleshed out with some surprisingly intensely emotional moments, great thrills and chills, cameos galore and enough gore to please the splatter-hounds, Shaun is an instant cult classic.
It's great horror-comedy for everybody granted you can handle a little bit of colored language and blood.

5 Fried Gold moments out of 5

Burke & Hare (2010)

Equal parts ridiculous and dumb, this black comedy by John Landis follows struggling peddlers Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis (the first time I've actually seen his face in a movie) as they turn to a life of crime, murdering and subsequently selling the bodies for medical dissection. Based on a true story, the source material is all there, it just isn't very funny or all that entertaining to watch.

2 fleshy arse wounds out of 5