Parthenope (2024)

"It is impossible to be happy in the most beautiful place in the world."

A disarmingly beautiful woman, named after the city of Naples, charms every man she comes across, as she moves adrift through life, becoming aloof to its wonder and beauty. Director Paolo Sorrentino (The Great Beauty, Youth) seems to have a particular affinity for this subject, which I cannot blame him for. Beauty permeates every frame of this film. This movie, much like its heroine, is beautiful and vapid. Sometimes that's just enough to squeak by, but the result is merely skin deep.

2 definitions of anthropology out of 5

Romeo is Bleeding (1993)

Gary Oldman plays a police sergeant named Jack Grimaldi who has a sideline in corruption and infidelity. His vices inevitably land him in trouble, but the Noirish setting is only half of the story - it's the performances of the cast that make Romeo as good as it is. It goes without saying that Oldman can be fantastic, but just as good was Lena Olin, an actress who held her own as an over-the-top femme fatale with an edge more deadly and unpredictable than most. Annabella Sciorra got less screen time but was also on top form.
It loses some of its momentum in the last third, but there's more than enough threads and ambiguity left to keep fans of this kind of drama happy.

4 locker envelopes out of 5

Track 29 (1988)

A remake of Dennis Potter's Schmoedipus (1974) episode of Play for Today (S4, Ep 20) that falls under a weight of clashing styles; i.e. besides a few successful explosive moments Roeg's dramatic beat clashes with Potter's lyrical approach to the same subject matter. The film is nicely assembled, but the moments that should be deeply felt are staged more as moments to be viewed when put through Roeg's lens. The emotional strain just isn't presented well enough to make the overplayed characters fully engage our sympathies, even though at least one of them is fully deserving of such.
Personally, I feel that the author's 'visitation dramas' work best when they're made on a smaller scale and when they retain a stage-like presence.

2½ pictures of long ago out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 [2011]

Director David Yates & the rest of the usual suspects brings the Harry Potter film franchise to a thrilling close in the 8th & final film, The Deathly Hallows: Part 2.
Long gone are the innocent Quiddich days of yesteryear, now it's full-on war at Hogwart's and the body count is beginning to rise at a terrifying rate for both characters and long-time fans of the series.
It's a wonderful conclusion to an already wonderful series, however the previous two films lacked any sense of magical wonder but all is put back in it's right place from the very get go.  Start to finish, the beautifully shot TDH2 is excitingly mysterious, darkly enigmatic and most of all deeply enthralling.  
Farewell, Hogwart's.  'Twas a bloody brilliant, if not bumpy, time.

4 dragon-riders out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX [2007]

Director David Yates steps in for his first of four (and final) Harry Potter films, The Order of the Phoenix.
After Lord Voldemort (exquisitely played by Ralph Fiennes) came into full physical form in the previous installment, no one believes Harry, forcing him to band together a secret rag-tag army of Hogwart's students to help him fight in the inevitable war of magics ahead of them.  The film is a great deal different from it's source material, seeing as the book is the longest in the series but the film is the shortest of the eight cinematic outings.  No matter, Yates & co. carefully stick to it's heart, core themes and main story arcs resulting in a wonderful dissection of the British school system and a comparison of similarities & differences of adult and youth.  It's the most grimly sinister of the series so far yet and let's us know it's only going to get darker and more grave as the body count begins piling up more and more.  I'm squeamish with delight.

4 horrifying Maggie Thatcher/Queen Lizzie II hybrids out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE PRISONER OF AZKABAN [2004]

Director Alfonso Cuarón gets darker and weirder for the third Harry Potter film, The Prisoner of Azkaban.
It's back to Hogwart's and that means trouble is brewing, as Harry discovers a prisoner has escaped from the wizard's prison and means to put an end to the boy wizard.  The film is significantly darker and actually scarier than Chris Columbus' previous films, as it dives deeper into the heavy emotions that are beginning to weigh Harry down more and more as he grows older and more powerful.  The core characters are becoming more complex as is the storytelling, which finally begins to spiral into something more fleshed out and interesting than it ever was.   Cuarón brings a visual flair to the series which gives it a unique character all it's own, without straying too far from the tones that have already been established.  This is definitely the Potter film that finally proves the series deserves all the praise it's received.

4 snarky shrunken heads out of 5

Dracula (1992)

aka Bram Stoker's Dracula

Coppola’s Dracula is visually interesting. He mutates the German expressionists love of shadow into something pure Hollywood but still effectively dramatic. On top of that he heaps dozens of colourful and theatrical elements, but it's more than the film can comfortably support.
The Dracula character is a tragic figure responsible for his own curse, thus ensuring that his grief lasts for centuries. Heartache can cause us to do odd things, but he really didn't think that through.
The acting by most of the cast is very dodgy. Reeves, Ryder and Frost are just plain awful. Oldman is fantastic as an old man, but his younger self has a hopeless romantic shtick that quickly bores. Man-bat form FTW!

2½ brain fevers out of 5

DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES [2014]

Matt Reeves steps in as director for the second of  three prequels to the Planet Of The Apes series, in the hilariously lengthy-titled Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes.
Set 10 years after Rise, things are dire and beginning to resemble the world we're familiar with from the originals so don't expect any cheers 'n smiles here.  Surprisingly this film rise high above the first with it's emotional depth, intelligent storytelling, nail-biting tension and ambition to worthy of it's early predecessors.  The special effects are beyond phenomenal as nearly 99% of the time I forget these weren't even real monkeys I was investing my emotions and thoughts into.  Those eyes.  Holy fuck.  They finally got CGI eyes right.
Not only is this film a good, riveting sci-fi summer blockbuster, it's a thought-provoking emotional tale that is easily one of the best films of the year.

4 Black Holes out of 5

HANNIBAL [2001]

Ten years after The Silence Of The Lambs, director Ridley Scott steps in for the second instalment in author Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter series, the lazily titled Hannibal.
Anthony Hopkins returns in the iconic role only now playing it for cheap one-liners making it seem more like a shallow and schlocky horror film rather than the inspired and thoughtful thriller of before.  Surprisingly, Julianne Moore does a fantastic job at filling Jodie Foster's shoes, who wisely declined to take part in this film.
While it has all sorts of great talents working for it, it seems more like a handful of world-class chefs making you a bowl of cereal for dinner and it's mostly Thomas Harris' shoddy source material to blame.  Instead of going for psychological character studies and thrills, it simply aims to go from Point A to B while sloppily grossing you out along the way.

2 little man-eating piggies out of 5

A CHRISTMAS CAROL [2009]

Robert Zemeckis continues his fascination with motion-capture animation in yet another adaptation of Charles Dickens' A Christmas Carol. 

This time around it's Jim Carrey assuming the role of Ebenezer Scrooge and he does a pretty damned fine job at it.  Unfortunately, the film never really finds itself a heart and we're left with an entertaining performance, some interesting set-pieces and absolutely gorgeous animation.  When it all comes down to it you're left wondering if perhaps Zemeckis should have used live-action instead of animation to capture the soul of the story.  

3 multiples roles out of 5

KUNG FU PANDA 2 [2011]

The original Kung Fu Panda was an entertaining run-of-the-mill animated film, filled with famous actors doing subpar voice work.  The sequel is just a uninspiring run-of-the-mill snoozefest that offers nothing new to the story or characters.  Apart from some cool character designs and animation, Kung Fu Panda 2 reeks of an assembly line cashcow.  With the exception of Jack Black, Gary Oldman and Dustin Hoffman, every other actor is pointless, boring and could be done better by a professional voice actor.  For the kiddies only.

2 Van Damme Crocodile moves out of 5

LAWLESS [2012]

Director John Hillcoat & screenwriter Nick Cave adapt Matt Bondurant's historical crime novel The Wettest Country In The World with a violent and ruthless passion.

Lawless has all the brutality and harsh language you'd come to expect from Hillcoat & Cave and then a little bit more for good measure.  Each actor takes their roles quite seriously and it rewards with great effect and discomfort, particularly Gary Oldman and Guy Pearce.  
It's cold, dusty and harsh world where there's always music in the air.  Not for the weak of heart.

 4 tar & featherings out of 5

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES [2012]

The final installment of director Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy, The Dark Knight Rises is a fitting grand finale to arguably one of the best superhero film series ever made.

It mucks around a bit at the beginning but comes all together pretty quickly and wastes no time charging forward into the darkness.  As gloomy as the film may be, it explores themes of hope for humanity, the will to  keep fighting and some questionable political views.  While it might not have the same impact, well choreographed fight scenes or the smarts of the previous film, The Dark Knight Rises is a huge messy spectacle that is sure to please the fans of the series and leave them wanting more.

3 Moroccoan chants out of 5

Sid and Nancy (1986)

According to sources close to Sid at the time, this shit-fest is almost 100% fictionalised. You could argue that the five minutes of absolute genius director Alex Cox gives us is a stylised metaphorical narrative on the brief life of punk; or perhaps it’s a commentary on the fictions that surrounded Vicious at the time using a similarly styled methodology? I considered that and then decided it didn't really matter. It’s still a fucking train wreck of a film with bad acting, bad storytelling and the most hateful female protagonist ever.

1 dead groupie out of 5

TRUE ROMANCE [1993]

Hookers. Cocaine. Guns.
...and Elvis.
Quentin Tarantino's first screenplay for the Tony Scott directed True Romance is a wild and stylish romp of a road movie. Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette lead an all-star ensemble supporting cast through a fantastical, glamorized violent world that looks more fun than intimidating. It's a little immature and offensive at times but this is Tarantino so it should be expected.
Filled with characters so stereotypical it's gleefully absurd, an in your face "too cool" soundtrack and Gary Fucking Oldman in one of his best roles, True Romance is a pulp cult classic that is pure guilty fun.

4 tips of the hat to Gassenhauer out of 5

THE DARK KNIGHT [2008]

Chris Nolan's Batman Begins sequel, The Dark Knight, joins that small league of film sequels that are just as good or even better than the original.
It's essentially a fast-paced study of the psyche of good and evil and the blurry lines between them and then masked as a vastly large action film with some wonderful performances to boot.
It does lack in heart and emotional impact in quite a few spots but makes up for it in the powerful conclusion. The story takes a few pointless turns into useless complications but quickly steer away from them and it keeps on charging full steam ahead.
Heath Ledger disappears into the role as The Joker, which sadly overshadows Aaron Eckhart's wonderful performance as District Attorney Harvey Dent.
Sit back and enjoy for this is popcorn entertainment at some of it's finest.

4 Heat montages out of 5

BATMAN BEGINS [2005]

Heavily inspired by comic books Batman: Year One and The Man Who Falls, director Christopher Nolan gives the Batman movie franchise a well-deserved makeover.
Primarily focusing on humanity, fear and identity in this film, Batman Begins attempts to bring a heavy dose of realism to the world of Gotham City and does a damn fine job at it as well.
The first hour is perfect in every sense, without relying on any special effects, the story charges forward in a beautifully executed character driven fashion. While the second hour focuses more on action, it's good but to be honest I'm far more interested in the Bruce Wayne aspect of the film rather than the hokey sounding Batman.
Like former Batman director Tim Burton praised of this film "Nolan certainly got more to the root of what the Batman comics are about." ...and that's character.

4 Blade Runner homages out of 5

The Book of Eli (2010)

It’s post-apocalyptic. It’s overtly religious. It’s bullshit nonsense.

Strip away the religious skin and underneath is a plot so full of holes even Jesus would laugh, and he’s the King of contradictions.

Unsure if it wants to be an action movie or a thinking movie, it fails at both.

1 bald kitty cat out of 5