28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026)

It took nearly 20 years between the release of the last two movies, and in less than a year, we've now doubled the length of the 28 Days Later series.

The survivor of the previous film has reluctantly joined a gang of Jimmys, while Dr. Kelson experiments on the infected. Nia DaCosta takes over from Danny Boyle while Alex Garland resumes screenwriting duties. What sets this apart in my mind is its hypnotic, almost operatic quality. Somehow, it feels different from the rest. Ralph Fiennes makes this film especially watchable (as well as the big-dicked Samson). Unfortunately, like its predecessor, it leaves off on another big fat cliffhanger that won't be paid off until the next one... which is the one we've all been waiting for. It's a nice little tease, though.

3½ soothing sounds of Duran Duran out of 5

Note: The final film in this new 28 Years trilogy is as yet undated. Dammit.

28 Years Later (2025)

It hasn't quite been 28 years since 28 Days Later was released, but it's close enough. This was originally intended to be the capper to the 28 Days trilogy, though it's confusingly been repurposed and designed as the first part of its own new trilogy, so we don't even get the satisfaction of a proper ending. 

Anyway, 28 years on, the infected still linger in the British Isles, as well as survivors who are indefinitely quarantined. A boy learns survival techniques through his father while caring for his sick mum. There is a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing, as well as the typical frenetic editing we've come to expect from this series. In typical Alex Garland fashion, the first 3/4ths are exceptionally strong, but then it shits the bed at the very end. I'm torn as to how to rate this, since we obviously have to wait for the next installment(s) for any kind of structural narrative resolution, but I give it a very reluctant:

3½ memento mori out of 5

Note: 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple is set to be released January 2026.

The Return (2024)

20 years after the Trojan War, Odysseus washes up on the shores of Ithaca, unrecognizable and treated as a common beggar. During all that time, his wife Penelope has refused to remarry, despite the many suitors knocking down her door, and the treatment of her indignant son Telemachus who never knew his father. This adaptation of Homer's Odyssey removes most of the mythology but leaves the subtext intact. Ralph Fiennes is such a great actor whose eyes say so much; the stillness of his performance speaks volumes. It's a very slow movie—almost too slow—but it's very well made for what it is. Also marks a "return" (of sorts) for Ralph and Juliette Binoche from The English Patient.

3 arrows through the eye of an axe-head out of 5

Conclave (2024)

The Pope has died and it's time to choose a successor. Ralph Fiennes heads this papal mystery-thriller which I would call "beautiful but boring." The votes are split between more traditionalist and liberal minded values, while each of the top candidates appears to harbor a secret that calls their legitimacy into question. The cardinals are unable to come to the majority vote required for successful election, so they are forced to reconvene and argue their case before each new balloting. Were it not for an intriguing final act, I would suggest passing this up entirely.

3 turtles on the papal floor out of 5

The End of the Affair (1999)

Based on a Graham Greene novel (that I've not read), Neil Jordan's TEotA is a powerful study of love, albeit one measured by unconventional methods.
Maurice Bendrix (Fiennes) and Sarah Miles (Moore) are the couple having the affair, while Sarah's husband Henry (Rea) worries about her from afar.
Structured as a kind of literary confessional from the obsessed Bendrix, there's more than one truth in play; each one unfolds in a dramatic but organic manner, revealing the motivations and fears of the lovers at key moments. The full story is a lot more interesting than it appears to be at first.

4 fictional values out of 5

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE [2017]

Robot Chicken director Chris McKay delivers the animated fun in spades with his LEGO Movie spin-off, The LEGO Batman Movie.
After accidentally adopting an overly eager orphan named Dick, Batsy must defeat The Joker and his usual band of lawless cronies from overthrowing Gotham City.
It's a very busy film that attacks the senses a bit but thankfully it's pretty damned funny with plenty of moments and gags that will please long-time fans of The Caped Crusader.  It references all sorts of cinematic forms of Batsy, including Adam West, Bruce Timm's animated series, Batfleck and yes, even the one with the nipples.   There's so much going on I'm willing to bet even a third or fourth viewing won't reveal all the jokes and sight gags to the exhausted viewer.  It's clearly the work of greedy Hollywood executives but it's enough batshit crazy fun to let it slide.

3½ family portraits out of 5

A BIGGER SPLASH [2015]

The longer I thought about director  Luca Guadagnino's psycho-drama, A Bigger Splash, I realized I admired it more than what I had initially thought.
A famous rock star, recovering from throat surgery, and her moody boyfriend are taking a much-needed island vacation, but is interrupted by her shit-disturbing ex and his nymphy younger daughter.
Led more by a roller coaster of fragile emotions, rather than a conventional plot, the film requires patience from the viewer but pays off with seductive menace and baffling hilarity.  It cleverly juggles fascinating combinations of interaction between each character and none is more uncomfortably alluring than the next.  Painted over beautifully muted photography and strong performances, A Bigger Splash is a twisted little gem that rewards with wandering afterthoughts and baffled giggles aplenty.

3½ hoarse karaoke sessions out of 5

KUBO AND THE TWO STRINGS [2016]

Laika Studios makes a remarkable return with their forth jaw-dropping stop-motion animated film, Kubo and the Two Strings.
Kubo, with the aid of a snow-monkey & a giant beetle-man, searches through Japan for a magical suit of armor to defeat some nasty spirit folk from his past.
With it's themes of loss, grief and loneliness, Kubo isn't always the fast-paced adventure the kiddies will be used to so it's obviously not meant for the real young ones.  However for the older crowd you get a rich, timeless story filled with awe-inspiring visuals and one the best scores of the year from composer Dario Marianelli.  Perhaps it's weakest link is the core voice cast that don't seem to conjure up a whole lot of chemistry together and hurt some of the more dramatic moments.  However, it's a wholly original film, which is a rarity in this day and age, so it's no wonder not many people took the risk and actually saw this masterful work of imagination.

4 paper lanterns out of 5

HAIL, CAESAR! [2016]

The Coen Brothers dazzle with their impressive cast in thee Classical Hollywood Era comedy Hail, Caesar!
Using real-life Hollywood fixer Eddie Mannix as the leading character, the story tells of the disappearance of a renown actor off the set of their latest big budget epic, all the while dissecting the behind-the-scenes buffoonery that went on to divert audience's attention from the Red Scare.
It's an incredibly authentic recreation of the Post War Hollywood era, thankfully littered with light, silly performances from all folks involved and a breezy air about it that is just off-beat enough to keep film-lovers intrigued.  However, anybody not familiar with how film studios work behind-the-scenes or of the paranoid times the story is set in, will probably find themselves bored and wondering what's with all the weird silliness afoot.
Think of it as The Coen Brothers' own thematic prequel to David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.

3½ noodle lassos out of 5

Spider (2002)

An often overlooked film from David Cronenberg that absolutely deserves more attention than it currently receives, for a number of reasons but mostly because of Ralph Fiennes acting his socks off.
His speech characterises him, as you'd expect, but perhaps even more important are his mannerisms, clothes and even his stained fingers, all of which are an exquisite commentary on his inner feelings.
The Becket-esque halfway house in which Spider resides has a nearby factory that looms in an almost Ballardian way. The two styles work as one thanks to Cronenberg's ability to make them feel as if they deserve each other.
I really like Miranda Richardson and loved seeing her get such a powerful role.
Be warned, the trailer makes it appear something it's not.

5 bad airs out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 2 [2011]

Director David Yates & the rest of the usual suspects brings the Harry Potter film franchise to a thrilling close in the 8th & final film, The Deathly Hallows: Part 2.
Long gone are the innocent Quiddich days of yesteryear, now it's full-on war at Hogwart's and the body count is beginning to rise at a terrifying rate for both characters and long-time fans of the series.
It's a wonderful conclusion to an already wonderful series, however the previous two films lacked any sense of magical wonder but all is put back in it's right place from the very get go.  Start to finish, the beautifully shot TDH2 is excitingly mysterious, darkly enigmatic and most of all deeply enthralling.  
Farewell, Hogwart's.  'Twas a bloody brilliant, if not bumpy, time.

4 dragon-riders out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE DEATHLY HALLOWS: PART 1 [2010]

Harry Potter & his wand-fondling pals reach the beginning of the end in the 7th installment of the popular film franchise, director David Yates' The Deathly Hallows: Part 1.
The gang are on the search for pieces of Lord Voldemort's soul to render him mortal again and defeat him once and for all.
Wisely splitting the final book into two parts seems like a bit much but with the amount of material that needed to be covered to do the series justice, it proves to be more than just a cheap way for the studio to squeeze out every last penny it can.  The consequences are dire and we definitely feel it through the dread, dreariness and dark passages that weave through the startlingly stark but beautiful visuals.  Non-fans of the series will be completely lost but if you're not into the series already how the hell did you get here anyway?  There's a complete lack of humor which sucks out a bit of the fun and when it does try to be funny it's rather distracting.  Not the perfect Potter film but it gets the audience ready for the grand finale.

3½ Bad Seeds out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE [2009]

Director David Yates really lays down the dark & dismal in the sixth installment of the Harry Potter series, The Half-Blood Prince.
With Voldemort & his Dark-Eaters waging war on both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds, Harry learns more about the Dark Lord and how he came to be, as well as discovering disturbing evidence of how much the two are actually alike.  While the previous films were a healthy balance of style and substance, this one leans more towards the striking visuals making it  just too damned dark to be much fun.  When it does have a bit of a laugh it breaks the tone and feels ridiculously out of place.   Even the actors, apart from Alan Rickman and Jim Broadbent, don't seem to be up to par with their previous performances.  Still, it is perhaps one of the most important chapters in the series, seeing as it's tragic ending leads to the explosive conclusion.
I like to consider this the calm before the storm.

3 bumpy bridges out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX [2007]

Director David Yates steps in for his first of four (and final) Harry Potter films, The Order of the Phoenix.
After Lord Voldemort (exquisitely played by Ralph Fiennes) came into full physical form in the previous installment, no one believes Harry, forcing him to band together a secret rag-tag army of Hogwart's students to help him fight in the inevitable war of magics ahead of them.  The film is a great deal different from it's source material, seeing as the book is the longest in the series but the film is the shortest of the eight cinematic outings.  No matter, Yates & co. carefully stick to it's heart, core themes and main story arcs resulting in a wonderful dissection of the British school system and a comparison of similarities & differences of adult and youth.  It's the most grimly sinister of the series so far yet and let's us know it's only going to get darker and more grave as the body count begins piling up more and more.  I'm squeamish with delight.

4 horrifying Maggie Thatcher/Queen Lizzie II hybrids out of 5

HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE [2005]

Director Mike Newell brings his knack for seamlessly brisk pacing to the fourth film in the Harry Potter film series, The Goblet of Fire.
Hogwart's is host to a very dangerous international tournament amongst the Wizards & Witches world, while the gang first encounters puberty (Ron is hilariously revealed to be an ass-man), firmly graduating the series from children's films to young-adult oriented in both subject matter and tone.  The series gets darker with each installment but Newell manages to insert enough humor to keep it fun enough amidst the doom 'n gloom.  Like always the adult stars are a joy to watch as they have a grand ol' time getting into their quirky roles but it's the kids that make a vast improvement from the last film with their emotional acting chops.  At least half of the novel is left out but doesn't matter seeing as it still fits like a glove in the series without missing any important story arcs leading into the future films.

4 PULPy Radioheads out of 5

Strange Days (1995)

A sci-fi drama set in L.A during the last days of 1999. It was co-written by James Cameron, so it’s typically overblown and overlong but there’s a solid story within. Lenny is a black market trader of real life experiences, recorded moments seen through someone else’s eyes that can be re-lived by anyone. Want to know what infidelity is like without ever laying hands on another person? Lenny can provide. Of course, there’s an even darker side to human activity that can also be exploited.
Lenny’s life moves at a fast pace and the camerawork reflects that. It's not as nauseating as it could've been, but nor is it wholly beneficial to the story.
Most of the acting is good, though. My favourite being Angela Bassett; everyone needs a friend like Angela.

3 squids on heads out of 5

WALLACE & GROMIT: THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT [2005]

"Bunnies!  So many bunnies!" I thought to myself as I gleefully watched Wallace & Gromit's first feature length film, The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit.
Directed by creator Nick Park & animator Steve Box, the story follows our old pals as they hunt down a giant mutant rabbit that is ravaging the town's vegetable gardens.  While the previous cartoon shorts touched on the old sci-fi/horror b-movies only in their titles cards, this film finally goes all out and gets pretty hilariously weird without ever losing it's charm.  You can't help but love Peter Sallis' voicework as the oblivious but ever-caring Wallace while Gromit's facial expressions are just as good as they ever were.  It's not quite as good as the shorts are but still remains pretty damned funny and heart-warming.

3½ carrot gold bullets out of 5

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL [2014]

When speaking of a Wes Anderson film it becomes redundant to gush over the beautifully colored and framed visuals, but I'm going to anyway because The Grand Budapest Hotel is all that and more.
With it's delightful miniature sets, hilarious camerawork and dollhouse-esque set decoration a film-lover is sure to be in hog heaven.  Not only that but the off-kilter but humorously precise editing, character quirks & movements and all around zaniness had me giggling and chuckling from beginning to end.  Heavily inspired by Austrian writer Stefan Zweig, Hotel never takes itself too seriously but has enough substance to make you love it's characters and where the story will eventually end up.
Juggling silly and sophisticated at the same time, Anderson's latest is simply a delight that's ever so sweet.

4 bisexual, fucking faggots out of 5

RED DRAGON [2002]

Director Brett Ratner takes over for the third film and first prequel in the Hannibal Lecter series, Red Dragon, which ultimately serves as Sir Anthony Hopkins final round as everyone's favorite man-eating head doctor.
Unlike Ridley Scott's dismal take on the character, Ratner opts for a more serious tone and results in something nearly as grisly as the original film making for a satisfying conclusion to the Hopkins films.  It doesn't really cover any new territory but it's so well-acted and suffocates the viewer in such an effective unsettling atmosphere it can be forgiven.

3½ smashed mirrors out of 5

SKYFALL [2012]

Daniel Craig returns as James Bond in director Sam Mendes' first journey into the world of 007 for Skyfall.

Craig takes the role of Bond and makes it his own, adding layers of varied emotion and vulnerability to the character that's been mostly absent in past incarnations.  While Javier Bardem is able to ham it up a bit, seeming more like a Nolan Batman villain rather than a Bond baddy, with his motives and cunning ideals.  Thankfully, Mendes is concerned with building up character arcs just as much as he is with throwing some extravagantly entertaining action pieces at us as well.  Skyfall does threaten to fall apart under it's own weight near the end but wraps up nicely as it looks back at it's roots.

3½ wastes of good Scotch out of 5