Blink Twice (2024)

Two women are invited by a charming billionaire to his private resort for a holiday in debauchery. Strange, unexplainable occurrences take place around them as one of the women disappears and none of the other tenants can recall her presence. Zoë Kravitz's directorial debut is a slick mystery-thriller with an all-star cast and more than a few tricks up its sleeve. Unfortunately, my screening of the film contained a trigger warning at the very beginning which gave away certain plot details that effectively spoiled the twist and undercut its themes. I cannot for the life of me understand why we have to be so sheltered, even in mass-produced, mainstream Hollywood entertainment, but here we are.

In all honesty, it's not a bad flick, but it loses a ½ rating for the patronizing TW.

2½ red rabbits out of 5

THE LEGO BATMAN MOVIE [2017]

Robot Chicken director Chris McKay delivers the animated fun in spades with his LEGO Movie spin-off, The LEGO Batman Movie.
After accidentally adopting an overly eager orphan named Dick, Batsy must defeat The Joker and his usual band of lawless cronies from overthrowing Gotham City.
It's a very busy film that attacks the senses a bit but thankfully it's pretty damned funny with plenty of moments and gags that will please long-time fans of The Caped Crusader.  It references all sorts of cinematic forms of Batsy, including Adam West, Bruce Timm's animated series, Batfleck and yes, even the one with the nipples.   There's so much going on I'm willing to bet even a third or fourth viewing won't reveal all the jokes and sight gags to the exhausted viewer.  It's clearly the work of greedy Hollywood executives but it's enough batshit crazy fun to let it slide.

3½ family portraits out of 5

HAIL, CAESAR! [2016]

The Coen Brothers dazzle with their impressive cast in thee Classical Hollywood Era comedy Hail, Caesar!
Using real-life Hollywood fixer Eddie Mannix as the leading character, the story tells of the disappearance of a renown actor off the set of their latest big budget epic, all the while dissecting the behind-the-scenes buffoonery that went on to divert audience's attention from the Red Scare.
It's an incredibly authentic recreation of the Post War Hollywood era, thankfully littered with light, silly performances from all folks involved and a breezy air about it that is just off-beat enough to keep film-lovers intrigued.  However, anybody not familiar with how film studios work behind-the-scenes or of the paranoid times the story is set in, will probably find themselves bored and wondering what's with all the weird silliness afoot.
Think of it as The Coen Brothers' own thematic prequel to David Lynch's Mulholland Drive.

3½ noodle lassos out of 5

THE HATEFUL EIGHT [2015]

Writer/director Quentin Tarantino packs in some good ol' fashioned snowy film-making with his off-beat Western/thriller The Hateful Eight.
A pack of thugs, all strangers to each other, are trapped in a isolated cabin during a snowy blizzard, which inevitably leads to...well...some serious cabin fever aka obligatory Tarantino bloodshed and vulgar but engrossing monologues.
With this film, it's become clear the smug director has the rights to be smug, as he's got a confident and well-developed grasp on the art of cinematic storytelling.  It's beautifully shot, well-paced, jammed to the brim with wonderful performances from it's genre cast and never ceases to keep you guessing who's who and what's what.
It's essentially Rawhide meets Reservoir Dogs but, hot damn, if it's not a fully captivating mash-up of the two films.

4 Silent Nights out of 5

JUPITER ASCENDING [2015]

The Wachowski's latest beautiful mess comes in the form of the ambitious space opera Jupiter Ascending.
Mila Kunis stars as the chosen one who learns the Earth is not what it seems and she's fallen smack in the middle of an intergalactic battle for the control of the industrial harvesting of the human race.  It's interesting to see Kunis take the role of what is usually male but unfortunately she still needs to love and be saved by Channing Tatum in his hilarious 60's Star Trek make-up.  It's jam-packed with beyond gorgeous visuals, imaginative easy-to-follow action sequences, a wonderful musical score from Michael Giacchino and great dedication to the genre.  However it's bogged down by flat-lining characters with tired performances, a muddy script, jokes that make George Lucas & Peter Jackson look like comedy geniuses and terribly wonky pacing which includes an overly long tribute to Terry Gilliam's Brazil that would have made one of the best deleted scenes ever due to it's punchline.

3 wings out of 5

FOXCATCHER [2014]

Director Bennett Miller really lays down the grim and dreary something fierce in his latest biographical drama, Foxcatcher.
Following the story of multimillionaire whackjob John E. du Pont who obsessively finances an Olympic wrestling team to give him a feeling of some sort of significance, the film leads us down some dark passageways.  Funnyman Steve Carell is shockingly very, very creepy as du Pont, so much that it'll be hard to look at him the same again, but one should take note of some very solid performances from Channing Tatum and Mark Ruffalo as well.  It's a quiet, and often distantly slow-paced but rewards with afterthoughts and emotions that haunt, bewilder and disturb for days afterwards.  A chilling character study, so exquisitely shot and unravelled, that you don't realize has dug it's nails deep under your skin until the end credits have long past rolling.

4 heavy duty weight loss programs out of 5

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

I didn't collect Joe figures as a kid, so I didn't see the Hollywood anus take a giant shit on a beloved childhood memory. All I saw was a film that had more time spent on calculating how many explosions were needed to turn a profit than it had on improving the script, which, let’s face it, isn't atypical of the summer action movie genre. In that respect, it's as good or as bad as many of the other below average summer time-wasters. I even enjoyed that utterly ridiculous chase through the streets of Paris.

2 traffic violations out of 5

22 JUMP STREET [2014]

Rarely is a sequel much better than it's original but Phil Lord & Chris Miller manage to pull it off with the overly goofy 22 Jump Street.
Like the original, it knows it's a Hollywood treadmill film and that's where it succeeds in a lot of it's humor, particularly Nick Offerman's side-splittingly hilarious meta-speeches.  However it's Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum's wonderful comedic chemistry that makes the film as funny and playful as it is.  This ain't high art or quality film-making, in fact it's probably the furthest thing from it but the film-makers and stars set out to have a good time with the hopes that you will too.

3½ Dumbass Americans out of 5

MAGIC MIKE [2012]

I'll admit it, I didn't think director Steven Soderbergh's Magic Mike, a dramatic comedy about the life of Florida male strippers, would be the least bit interesting.
To my surprise I found it to be very entertaining and occasionally quite enticing.
Loosely based on actor Channing Tatum's early career as a male stripper, the film delves into areas of the profession I had never thought about before and what it does to both your personality and personal lives.  It's well-written, directed with precision and filled with a slew of strong performances all of which make for some well-placed funny moments that carry some serious weight to it with good reason.
So yes, folks, this isn't just a male stripper film but a story about choice, consequences and the occasional penis pump.

3 little piggies out of 5

SIDE EFFECTS [2013]

Director Steven Soderbergh crafts a very Hitchcock-ian psychological thriller with the twisty 'n turny Side Effects.
Rooney Mara towers over the rest of the cast with a stunning performances as a mentally ill young woman that is both sympathetically frightening and disturbingly mournful.  Soderbergh paces each reveal and scene with compelling and intense delicacy that proves when given the right script he can do much more than just style over substance.  It starts to lose it's balance a bit with all the weight it's carrying in the final act but makes up for it with intrigue and mystery.

4 sleepwalkers out of 5

21 JUMP STREET [2012]

Clone High creators Phil Lord & Chris Miller bring the 80's TV melodrama 21 Jump Street to the big screen and warp it into a raunchy comedy starring Jonah Hill & Channing Tatum. 

The film manages to satire both the original TV series and '80's nostalgia, while packing in a Lethal Weapon-esque punch.  Hill & Tatum are surprisingly quite good but something doesn't quite sit right as a whole.   The laughs are a little short for extended periods of time and some of the more interesting & potentially comedic character conflicts are never fully developed.  

It's not as bad as it sounds on paper but never reaches the heights it could have.  

2½ Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers out of 5