Confess, Fletch (2022)

After a number of fits and starts, we finally get a follow-up to Fletch, but it leaves much to be desired. Jon Hamm steps into the role as the investigative journalist hired to track down a missing art collection, but he has big shoes to fill. Unfortunately, this iteration is missing a lot of the trademark wisecracking humor and almost all of the disguises. It wasn't completely terrible, but the plotting is predictable and it's not something I would choose to watch again.

1½ yachts out of 5

Inside Out 2 (2024)

Lightning doesn't strike twice in this sequel to the 2015 Pixar classic. This time, Anxiety and her pals Embarrassment, Envy, Ennui, et al, are introduced into the mix, to torture poor Riley into her teens. While these are certainly relatable emotions, the plot of this film feels very much like a beat-by-beat retread of the original. There was another film released earlier the same year, Orion and the Dark, which does a much better job at dramatizing these deep existential fears of which this film only touches upon. (2024 was truly the year of Anxiety.) As it stands, this flick will work for the kiddos, but it won't resonate with adults nearly as much as the original did.

2½ panic attacks out of 5

Blink Twice (2024)

Two women are invited by a charming billionaire to his private resort for a holiday in debauchery. Strange, unexplainable occurrences take place around them as one of the women disappears and none of the other tenants can recall her presence. Zoë Kravitz's directorial debut is a slick mystery-thriller with an all-star cast and more than a few tricks up its sleeve. Unfortunately, my screening of the film contained a trigger warning at the very beginning which gave away certain plot details that effectively spoiled the twist and undercut its themes. I cannot for the life of me understand why we have to be so sheltered, even in mass-produced, mainstream Hollywood entertainment, but here we are.

In all honesty, it's not a bad flick, but it loses a ½ rating for the patronizing TW.

2½ red rabbits out of 5

The Flintstones (1994)

I occasionally watched repeats of the original Hanna-Barbera cartoon as a kid, but I don't consider myself a fan of the show. I tried the film for one reason only: Liz Taylor, who plays Pearl Slaghoople (Fred's mother-in-law); but in reference to casting it's John Goodman who's most perfect in his role.

The story sees the 'modern Stone Age family' have their loyalties tested when an unexpected class division causes a rift between best friends Fred and Barney (Rick Moranis). Its U rating means it's mostly average kids stuff, but there are some genuinely funny gags, and a few very dark humoured ones.

The star of the show for me was the props and sets — the majority of which would've had to have been built and/or moulded from scratch — and the practical creature effects provided by Jim Henson's Creature Shop.

2 dictabirds out of 5

TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME [1992]

Cryptically serving as both a prequel and a sequel to the short-lived cult-hit television series, director David Lynch's Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me takes the viewer down a darker road than puzzled audiences expected.
By chronicling the final seven days of Laura Palmer's life (beautifully led by Sheryl Lee), the film didn't have a whole lot of reason to visit the comical quirkiness of damned fine coffee and heavenly cherry pie, which served as key elements as to why mainstream viewers loved the series in the first place.
Heavily weighing in on themes of incest, addiction, psychological abuse and other unpleasant topics the film manages to make sense of some of more baffling moments in the television series in such an oblique manner it might go over your head upon first glance.
More psychological thriller than oddball soap opera, FWWM is on my short list of films I've seen well over 20 times because it's a near-perfect exquisitely sinister mind-twister.

4 toe-heads out of 5

SHOWGIRLS [1995]

Director Paul Verhoeven's Showgirls is apparently a cynical satire of Las Vegas show business but instead it mostly comes off as a poorly executed glamorized sleaze-fest.
We follow Nomi, a pretty young drifter, who pulls into Vegas where she fights her way to the top of of the celebrated showgirls.
With a little more imagination if might have been a fascinating study but instead the dialogue, characters and acting, all of which are shitty, wraps itself around this tediously plotted sludge.  Verhoeven calls it another one of his satirical films (ie. Starship Troopers, Robocop) but the witty sarcasm is completely buried underneath it's weak attempt at being a trashy exploitation film.   In the end it seems as nobody working on the film was on the same page and it shows in all the worst ways.

1 smiling snatch out of 5

INSIDE OUT [2015]

Disney/Pixar collaborations have always been good at making great films for both children & adults but never have they ever been as successful as they are with directors Pete Docter & Ronaldo Del Carmen's Inside Out.
It's set inside the mind of a young maturing girl where her leading emotions are personified into five colorful characters who work overtime to ease her into living in a new city.  The film works as a vibrantly enthusiastic children's film, filled with all sorts of wacky hijinks and instantly likeable characters that are sure to sell all sorts of plushies.  As for the adults, it's a brilliantly imaginative and deeply emotional study of the brain and how it all works, as it travels through the motions, thoughts, feelings, memories and just about anything you can hide up there.  As complicated as it is, it balances out the story to never feel like it's talking down to the children or dumbing it down for the adults and to say the least, how they went about it left me completely dumbfounded.  This instant classic had me laughing, crying and feeling everything in between.  

5 pizza delivery bears out of 5

Dune: Special TV Edition (1988)

A 176 min (PAL) version of Dune!? Holy Reverend Mother’s undies! It’s… it’s… Alan Smithee? It’s 4:3 Pan + Scan and it’s in mono. Bastards!
On the plus side there are alternate edits, angles and footage that was missing from the shorter 137 min theatrical cut. There’s an extended prologue providing a lot more back-story than before via V/O and a series of painted images filmed with a rostrum camera; I have mixed feelings about that part.
The inclusion of an original film poster reproduction is appealing, but hardly enough to entice all but the most obsessive Dune fan. If you identify with that classification then seek it out because the new scenes are fascinating. The 4:3 presentation, however, means it scores badly. If only it had been in 2.35:1.

2½ eyes turned to Arrakis out of 5

The Hidden (1987)

A parasitic alien with a love of expensive sports cars and loud 1980s rock music goes on a killing spree. An FBI agent (Kyle MacLachlan) tracks it across America hoping to find the window he needs to ultimately kill it.
The story is a simple one on the surface, but the film is a tense chase movie with some hidden depth beneath (no pun intended). The viewer knows exactly what the alien looks like, but beyond that it remains a mystery and that secrecy works in the film's favour. It's like an X-File case years before the X-Files even existed. The creature effects are few in number, but are fantastically well done and leave a lasting impression.

3½ gastric problems out of 5

Blue Velvet (1986)

Jeffrey Beaumont discovers something strange in a field near his parents' home; his desire to understand its origins leads him into a murky, suburban dream gone awry. What unfolds drags the viewer to a place most of us pretend doesn't exist. Often unsettling, always powerful, the film is an unfurled canvas depicting a surrealist landscape that is both analogous to reality and surreptitiously real. When Blue Velvet makes you feel afraid, remember this: scratch the surface of anything shiny and you’ll likely find something less appealing underneath. The shine isn't merely an illusion, it’s one facet of the larger whole.

5 strange worlds, Sandy out of 5

Dune (1984)

Scratchy sand, suits with piss in the thighs, giant phallic worms, quasi-religious nonsense and a floating fat man. I love Dune.
It’s a mess that requires you to have a deep knowledge of the book that it’s based on to understand it. You’ll need to be able to fill in the blanks to have even a hope of defending it to the haters. There's some dodgy casting and some inspired casting, and the music is hero music at its finest. One thing is certain: the sets are some of the best you’ll find in an 80’s sci-fi film.

4 litanies against fear out of 5