The Grudge: Director's Cut (2004)

There are nearly seven extra minutes in the director's cut for The Grudge. It's obvious why these cuts were made since the theatrical version is PG-13. Any moments of gore or violence were trimmed to stay within the parameters of the rating system. The DC lets these moments breathe in their entirety and actually includes a few extra minutes which add to the culture shock of the American family. There are two lengthened scenes in particular which are pivotal to the Ju-On mythos. In one we learn the significance of the black hair, and the other explains the origin of Kayako's trademark death cry. I believe the DC to be the more coherent version, but many of the additions are merely fan service to the horror crowds.

4 hangings out of 5

Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

In order to save his reckless younger sibling from a fate worse than the film itself, brother Nick is tasked with stealing many cars, an activity that he retired from six years previously. But he's the selfless hero type, so after some badly scripted and hackneyed soul searching he obliges.
To its credit it adds a lot of story that wasn't in the original H.B. Halicki version (1974), but none of the additions are particularly interesting - some are even ruinous, nonsensical and weigh the plot down rather than lift it up.
One thing it does almost as well as its source is manage to be representative of the era in which it was made. Unfortunately, that means it replaces 70s chic with woeful 00's action clichés. The last half hour is particularly bad.

2½ dirty ladies out of 5

The Grudge (2004)

In an effort to distill the same horrific imagery, Takashi Shimizu directs this remake of his own film. Besides the script (written by Stephen Susco), which incorporates an American family deathly affected by residual hauntings in their Japanese home, there is obvious effort to keep the production close to the original. Susco streamlines the source material by excising extraneous chapters. Instead closely following the family and delving deeper into the home's initial tragedies. Shimizu continues to be just as inventive in creating modern scenes of suspense as he was in the Ju-On series. The Grudge benefits from a larger budget with improved SFX, an exclusively built set and stronger actors (such as Grace Zabriskie, Bill Pullman, and Ryo Ishibashi). Some may argue this is a watered-down version, but for a nationwide theatrical release this is a fantastic representation of the story. 

3½ balcony swan dives out 5

TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME [1992]

Cryptically serving as both a prequel and a sequel to the short-lived cult-hit television series, director David Lynch's Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me takes the viewer down a darker road than puzzled audiences expected.
By chronicling the final seven days of Laura Palmer's life (beautifully led by Sheryl Lee), the film didn't have a whole lot of reason to visit the comical quirkiness of damned fine coffee and heavenly cherry pie, which served as key elements as to why mainstream viewers loved the series in the first place.
Heavily weighing in on themes of incest, addiction, psychological abuse and other unpleasant topics the film manages to make sense of some of more baffling moments in the television series in such an oblique manner it might go over your head upon first glance.
More psychological thriller than oddball soap opera, FWWM is on my short list of films I've seen well over 20 times because it's a near-perfect exquisitely sinister mind-twister.

4 toe-heads out of 5

Galaxy of Terror (1981)

Though Roger Corman had grown weary of directing by this point, this film is overflowing with his style. In an obvious Alien knock-off, a spaceship crew is bombarded by their own fears made real by a strange planet's curious chemistry. The cast is B-movie heaven as Robert Englund, Sid Haig, Grace Zabriskie and Ray Walston fill up the roles. In usual Corman fashion, many young faces were given a chance to work on his film. Most notably James Cameron as production designer. Though cheaply made, his sets are heavily influenced by H.R. Giger. The sci-fi effects are very 70s light show, but it being such a low-budget and lowbrow production, it all fits in quite nicely. Any fan of sci-fi cinema will have a good time pointing out the literal and literary holes in this campy production.

3 rape worms out of 5

INLAND EMPIRE [2006]

Clocking in at 3 hours long, I occasionally got the feeling director David Lynch was having a laugh at the thought of viewers sitting through the senseless collection of awkward scenarios in Inland Empire.
While it does contain the typical Lynchian ingredients like a woman in trouble, cool music, low bassy droning to keep you on edge, characters wandering aimlessly around hallways looking scared, red curtains and asshole officers of the law, you can't help but feel it's Lynch parodying himself unintentionally.  It's essentially the dictionary definition of an "artsy fartsy" film with bizarre dialogue delivery, extended close-ups and subtitles.  Still, Laura Dern pulls of a great, if not confusing performance and there are many interesting scenes even if they don't make sense.
...oh...and bunnies.  There's bunnies.

2½ screwdrivers out of 5

WILD AT HEART [1990]

Director David Lynch makes his own twisted Wizard Of Oz vision in an adaptation of the first of Barry Gifford's Sailor & Lula pulp novel series, Wild At Heart.

A modern romance struggling to survive in a violent world, this road trip film introduces us to large number of bizarre, seedy characters I'd rather not know.  Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern are great in their roles but their white trash, one-track minds make it difficult to like them.  At times the trademark Lynch weirdness seems overly forced but occasionally works in his favor, making for a number of scenes doused in hilarious surrealism.  

3 snakeskin jackets that represents a symbol of individuality and beliefs in personal freedom out of 5

My Own Private Idaho (1991)

An exploration of friendship and self-discovery that’s occasionally surreal, funny, purposefully Shakespearean and thoughtfully poetic. It’s centred around two male street hustlers who are both drifting through life but for very different reasons. One is desperate to attain something that the other takes for granted. It gave River Phoenix the best role of his short life, one which he embraces and excels in, and arguably the best performance that Keanu Reeves has delivered outside of The Matrix (1999).

4 unregulated sleep-wake cycles out of 5

Child's Play 2 (1990)

Well, whattaya know? An above-average sequel. It's 2 years later and the poor kid is still being haunted by the damn doll. Chucky's been nonsensically restored and put back together good as new and ready to terrorize the boy once more, as he's passed around from foster home to foster home. This installment showcases a lot of the humor that the series is now known for. Brad Dourif makes these movies as the sinister voice behind that "innocent" face.

3.5 toy factories out of 5