Gone in 60 Seconds (2000)

In order to save his reckless younger sibling from a fate worse than the film itself, brother Nick is tasked with stealing many cars, an activity that he retired from six years previously. But he's the selfless hero type, so after some badly scripted and hackneyed soul searching he obliges.
To its credit it adds a lot of story that wasn't in the original H.B. Halicki version (1974), but none of the additions are particularly interesting - some are even ruinous, nonsensical and weigh the plot down rather than lift it up.
One thing it does almost as well as its source is manage to be representative of the era in which it was made. Unfortunately, that means it replaces 70s chic with woeful 00's action clichés. The last half hour is particularly bad.

2½ dirty ladies out of 5

The Crazies (2010)

Would The Crazies (1973) have got a remake if it hadn't been a George Romero film? It's unlikely. But here we are, and the result isn't too bad.
The combine harvester scene made me think, 'Yes, this could actually be good!' It was soon followed by a lame jump scare and I began to doubt my earlier assumption. But I stayed because I was curious to see what changes would be made to the story. There were many and a lot of them were even beneficial. Good job. Unfortunately, the script doesn't know when to stop trying to be bigger and better than its source, and by the end reaches levels of stupid that ensure I'll not give it a second viewing.
It earns praise for not being a simple rehash - it's modernised both in how it's shot and in how the response team deal with the situation.

3 well-forked ladies out of 5

THIS IS WHERE I LEAVE YOU [2014]

Director Shawn Levy tones things down from his usual fare for the quiet dysfunctional family drama, This Is Where I Leave You.
After the death of their father, four big city siblings are forced to return to their suburban home to live with their mother for a week which reveals many things about their messy past, present and futures.  It saunters through overly familiar territory but with it's dynamic cast (not a weak link in the group), realistically written potty-mouthed script and amusing moments galore it still manages to capture the heart by the end.  As great as the cast is, there's just so damned many characters, some of the more interesting ones are never fully explored and you're left yearning for just a bit more.  In a way it's a delightful wasted opportunity that just narrowly missed the mark from becoming what it wants to be.

3 Jewish atheists out of 5

LIVE FREE OR DIE HARD [2007]

Len Wiseman drags the ageing John McClane kicking & screaming into a post 9/11 digital age in the fourth Die Hard film, Live Free Or Die Hard.
As an action film, it delivers with some hilariously ridiculous, yet effective thrills however Timothy Olyphant's villain is a bit flat and the film would have benefited a bit more had they made Maggie Q.'s kick-ass kung-fu bitch the big bad.  Unlike Indiana Jones 4, this film works in the hero's advanced age into the story rather than just using it as an excuse to make silly one-liners which is nice.  I enjoyed that the majority of the special effects didn't resort to CGI to give it a bit more of a Die Hard feel, unfortunately they went bat shit crazy with the color correction in post-production and it makes it a bit more artificial than it really is.

3½ timex watches in a digital age out of 5

Hitman (2007)

Some people look Badass Bruce when they shave their head, but Olyphant looked like he’d just stepped out of the Intensive Care Unit; except for a bloody great barcode on the back of his head that no one seemed to notice. A tattoo like that is just the thing to keep you low-key when you’re a secret assassin hiding from the law~.
I didn't play the games, so don’t know how faithful it is to Agent 47's origin.
On the plus side it isn't made by Uwe Boll.

0½ a wig would've been useful out of 5

GO [1999]

From director Doug Liman & Tim Burton writer John August comes this fast-paced action comedy.

GO is like a John Hughes film filled with guns, drugs & sex with the morals and non-linear story telling of a Quentin Tarantino flick.  It may not be breaking any new grounds but with it's high octane pacing, clever dialogue and fresh-faced cast it'll be over before you know it and without a bad aftertaste.

3½ homicidal cats drug hallucinations out of 5

SCREAM 2 [1997]

Who'd want to make a sequel? Sequels suck.
Unless you know how to avoid all the obligatory rules and take it step above all that. Scream 2 manages to pull out some brutal punches and makes sure it doesn't fall under the curse of sequel suckage.
With all the survivors from the original returning plus a slew of brand new faces to slice n' dice, (Liev Schreiber and Timothy Olyphant being the new highlights), Scream 2 is just as much fun as the first one.
It does run about 5 minutes too long and has a few slow moments, but the gorier and more vicious murders make up for it. A worthy follow-up.

3 ½ Robert Rodriguez & Danny Elfman cameos out of 5