The Legend of Ochi (2025)

The Ochi are a race of apelike creatures that are being hunted into extinction. When a baby Ochi is separated from its mother, a young girl defies her strict family (Willem Dafoe and Wolf Dickhard) in an attempt to reunite it back home.

This was a lovely little fantasy adventure, reminiscent of classic '80s Amblin vibes, The NeverEnding Story and The Dark Crystal. The creature itself brings to mind Gizmo from Gremlins (combined with the cuteness factor of Baby Yoda). Practical creature effects, old school puppetry and animatronics help bring this world to life and gives it all of its personality and charm (no CGI involved!). This is a film you could imagine Jim Henson might have had his hand in. It's a very minimal tale in all of its simplicity, but quite mesmerizing and moving. You don't often see gentle family films like this being made anymore.

3½ blue caterpillars out of 5

Poor Things (2023)

How to condense this film into a concise summary without giving away key plot points? It's the type of film that needs to be seen to be believed, without any prior expectations set. Bella (Emma Stone, at the tip-top of her game) is a Frankenstein-like creation who wants to experience the world for herself and sets out on an epic journey of self-discovery. Yorgos is the perfect filmmaker to handle this weird, sometimes off-putting material, which is both hilarious and tragic. It's a brilliant movie and I hope I haven't said too much or too little.

5 furious jumping out of 5

Nosferatu (2024)

Forget everything you know about F. W. Murnau's original 1922 silent German Expressionist horror film. This is a completely new interpretation. Originally based on Bram Stoker's Dracula (with just enough details changed to escape copyright infringement), it tells the story of a woman and her connection to an ancient evil spirit.

Robert Eggers is one of those filmmakers (like Ari Aster) who has carved out his own path with a singular vision and niche style of storytelling. Even when I'm not totally in love with that vision, I admire it more for its audacity in the face of mainstream values.

While I imagine this film won't be for everyone (it's very slow, with lots of lingering shadow play), it's unique enough to leave an indelible impression on the viewer. It's more of a dark, brooding mood piece than anything.

4 plague-infested rats out of 5

Kinds of Kindness (2024)

A deeply twisted absurdist tragi-horror-comedy that required two separate viewings for me to finally process my feelings about it. Essentially three separate stories, starring the same group of actors playing different roles each time, you have to search to find a common thread. The theme here being the fucked up ways people show appreciation and gratitude. At times, it might feel like weird for weirdness' sake, but sometimes that's just what you crave. If you enjoy Yorgos's previous work, this may strike the right chord within you.

4 tennis racquets out of 5

Saturday Night (2024)

It's 90 minutes before the very first episode of Saturday Night Live is set to premiere on October 11, 1975. Lorne Michaels frantically struggles to keep the cast's larger-than-life personalities in check, as he deals with snarky writers, cranky technicians and know-it-all executives coming down on him from all sides. It's a clash of egos between divas and assholes, and it's exhausting to say the least. I give Jason Reitman props for handling this source material which has become the stuff of legend at this point, although at times it feels more like an excuse to showcase a bunch of celebrity impersonations (as good as they may be). It seems like they took a lot of the stories and lore from the first year of SNL and crammed as many as they could into a two-hour time frame. It ends right where the first episode begins, so I guess seek that out afterwards to see how it all turned out. 

2½ bee costumes out of 5

Inside Man (2006)

It has a number of big names on the roster, but the real star of Inside Man is the person sat behind the camera, Dir. Spike Lee. His technique overshadows proceedings one minute, then works its magic subtly the next. Of the former, having Clive Owens' bank-robbing character speak directly to the viewer and some high-contrast flash-forward moments stand out the most, whereas the latter is perhaps best illustrated by the expert framing and superb camera movements that help tell the story. It's an interesting telling, most of the time, but the narrative itself tries too hard and too often to remind us of how clever it all is, which sometimes backfires, resulting in pushing a viewer out of a scene while Spike's artistry works hard at drawing us in.

3 Steves out of 5

Streets of Fire (1984)

Walter Hill's self-proclaimed 'Rock and Roll Fable' is like a pulp novel brought to life. It kicks off with a music performance that encapsulates the 1980s perfectly, but outside of the live venue it's like the 1950s never ended and somehow the two things don't ever seem to be at loggerheads.
The antihero is Tom Cody (Michael Paré), a guy who responds to his feelings but refuses to be ruled completely by them. When it comes to conflict, even if he loses he'll win because of his uncompromisingly independent spirit. When his old flame is kidnapped by a gang led by Willem Dafoe in fetish dungarees, Cody and a couple of hangers-on cross town to take her back.
It's a charming flick with a devoted fan base. I enjoy it, but personally feel that Hill's other famous work, The Warriors (1979), is a lot better.

3 screen wipes out of 5

THE GREAT WALL [2016]

Director Zhang Yimou stinks up the screen with the Chinese fantasy war epic The Great Wall.
Placed around the 1000's AD in China, All-American good ol' boy Matt Damon saves The Great Wall from an army of vicious creatures, all while checking every box with the usual clichés familiar to this type of film.
There's plenty of gorgeous visuals and creative battle techniques but none of that matters when every single character are soulless dummies.  In the end, it really feels like a whole movie based around the Helm's Deep battle in The Lord of the Rings only without a single character to give a rat's ass about.  In the past 10 years or so, it seems Yimou has had more stinkers than winners, so perhaps he needs to rethink his approach to film-making or just call it a day.

1 meal on a bungee cord out of 5

Daybreakers (2009)

A decade after the majority of the world's population is turned to vampirism their food stock (i.e. fresh human blood) is in short supply. If an alternative isn't found the society that until now has continued to function just fine will begin to die out, but not before the thirsty citizens turn on themselves.
Ethan Hawke stars as a haematologist searching for a viable solution. He's in the belly of the beast, but is there for the right reasons.
It's certainly an interesting spin on the vampire myth, with an always pertinent social message as undercurrent, but the film rarely manages to break out of its own muted atmosphere. Perhaps it was never meant to and I'm wrong to assume otherwise? Either way, in my mind its sombre mood successfully elucidates its message but also prevents it from being more memorable.

3 light modifications out of 5

eXistenZ (1999)

I hope it isn't but it’s possible that the film is Cronenberg’s last full-on venture into the ‘body-horror’ genre that he excelled in. It contains within it many elements that fans of his earlier works will be familiar with, including the weird character names and sharp angled Canadian architecture, as if to say this is where the past ends, I'm moving onto genres new afterwards.
It has a lot in common with Videodrome (1983), not just thematically but in other ways, and as such I’d definitely recommend viewing Videodrome first.
If you expect to find something intriguing but sickening you’ll not be disappointed. How does a rubbery, foetus-like VR game pod with umbilical cords that plug into a bizarre anus in your lower back sound?

4 signs of the times out of 5

JOHN WICK [2014]

The Matrix's Neo stunt double & martial arts coordinator Chad Stahelski makes his directorial debut reuniting with Keanu Reeves on the ridiculously violent revenge flick, John Wick.
Reeves plays a dude who sets out to extract nasty vengeance on the people that killed the dog that his recently deceased wife gave him as a parting gift.  Stahelski creates a pulpy world that's looks like it would be Rian Johnson's version of an Asia Extreme flick...and it acts like one too.  It's carefully planned out hand-to-hand fight sequences are beautifully shot and edited you almost don't notice how senseless the heaps of violence actually is.  With it's gaggle of supporting actors that play like a who's who of violent b-movies of the past 30 years, the film has it's audience already set in but won't find anyone looking for intelligent substance or afterthoughts.  It's a gorgeous looking guilty pleasure with very limited redeeming qualities and that's okay with me.

3 Boogeymen out of 5

THE FAULT IN OUR STARS [2014]

Usually when a film adaptation is rushed into production after the success of the book it's based on it normally means bad news bears.
Fortunately Stuck In Love director Josh Boone's adaptation of John Green's youth-oriented novel The Fault In Our Stars is actually quite good.
It tells the story of a couple of young cancer patients, delicately played by Shailene Woodley & Ansel Egort (yes, the brother & sister in Divergent :erm:) who live and learn about life & death and everything around it as a relationship begins blossoming between them.
Like it's source material, the film is witty, humorous and heart-breaking all while it graces us with some superb performances, simple yet elegant photography and enough here to be enjoyed by both mainstream and indie-film lovers.

4 shitty people & shitty writers out of 5

ODD THOMAS [2013]

Stephen Sommers' horror/comedy Odd Thomas had promise as a great late-nite cult film but an uneven tone and jumbled plot hold it back.
Anton Yelchin assumes the role of the title character, a young man who can see dead people, an ability in which he uses to help solve heinous crimes.  Aided by an adorably charismatic performance from Addison Timlin, Yelchin and the rest of the cast toss bizarre yet amusing lines of dialogue between each other that seem like a twisted take on the hard-boiled noir genre.  I was constantly reminded of the eerily similar The Frighteners but this one never quite builds up to the bat-shit craziness of the Peter Jackson film.  As forgettably light entertainment it's easy to digest but as anything more it never quites lives up to expectations.

2½ bowling shirts out of 5

THE GRAND BUDAPEST HOTEL [2014]

When speaking of a Wes Anderson film it becomes redundant to gush over the beautifully colored and framed visuals, but I'm going to anyway because The Grand Budapest Hotel is all that and more.
With it's delightful miniature sets, hilarious camerawork and dollhouse-esque set decoration a film-lover is sure to be in hog heaven.  Not only that but the off-kilter but humorously precise editing, character quirks & movements and all around zaniness had me giggling and chuckling from beginning to end.  Heavily inspired by Austrian writer Stefan Zweig, Hotel never takes itself too seriously but has enough substance to make you love it's characters and where the story will eventually end up.
Juggling silly and sophisticated at the same time, Anderson's latest is simply a delight that's ever so sweet.

4 bisexual, fucking faggots out of 5

OUT OF THE FURNACE [2013]

Writer/director Scott Cooper's follows up the acclaimed Crazy Heart with another tale about troubled Americana, the moody drama Out Of The Furnace.
Like a Bruce Springsteen song, the film is filled with poverty, hopelessness, violence, love in the darkest of places and folks who are destined to forever live in their own personal prisons no matter what choices they make.   The story speaks of emotional punches and it makes it halfway there due to the astonishingly fantastic cast but loses half of it's impact due to a weak script.  It's well worth a look at for the beautiful photography, haunting music and great acting but leaves much to be desired when all the names attached seem to promise something so much more.

3 Midnight Meat Trains out of 5

The Last Temptation of Christ (1988)

There’s some very silly casting in TLToC. There’s a white Jesus, a ginger Judas from NY and a Rock Star Pontius from Blighty; it’s laughable. The music is similarly ill-fitting most of the time, but the screenplay by Paul Schrader, adapted from Nikos Kazantzakis’ novel, is so good in the first half that I was able to keep my chuckles in check and enjoy the show.
It presents Jesus as a man with hopes, fears and doubts, like any other man would have in his position. His real strength comes from his response to those states of being, not from something wholly supernatural.
The part that got many Christians' cotton undies in a twist is during one of Marty’s slips and is best forgotten. If they’d put it into context before throwing stones they might have understood that.

3½ women called Mary out of 5

THE HUNTER [2011]

The Hunter is a deeply saddening mystery thriller from Australian director Daniel Nettheim, adapted from the novel of the same name by Julia Leigh.
It stars Willem Dafoe, in a wonderfully subdued performance, as a mercenary sent to Tasmania to hunt down the sole surviving Tasmanian Tiger for a biotech company interested in it's DNA.  It slowly burns it's way into your heart with feelings both distant and warm, beautiful photography of the same description and enough moral questions to keep you thinking.

4 music in the trees out of 5

Once Upon a Time in Mexico (2003)

Rodriguez’s third Mariachi film saw him once again write, direct, edit and score the production. That type of creative control must make him the envy of his peers. The film had a budget almost four times what the previous two had combined and was shot digitally, so editing and SFX would've been a breeze, but the story is a mess. There are too many people with not enough to do and sketchy reasons for doing it. It’s a half-baked movie with an abundance of action but not enough plotting.

2 embellishments out of 5

WILD AT HEART [1990]

Director David Lynch makes his own twisted Wizard Of Oz vision in an adaptation of the first of Barry Gifford's Sailor & Lula pulp novel series, Wild At Heart.

A modern romance struggling to survive in a violent world, this road trip film introduces us to large number of bizarre, seedy characters I'd rather not know.  Nicolas Cage & Laura Dern are great in their roles but their white trash, one-track minds make it difficult to like them.  At times the trademark Lynch weirdness seems overly forced but occasionally works in his favor, making for a number of scenes doused in hilarious surrealism.  

3 snakeskin jackets that represents a symbol of individuality and beliefs in personal freedom out of 5

FINDING NEMO [2003]

Andrew Stanton successfully brings life to the Pixar's fifth CGI animated film Finding Nemo with the help of beautiful visuals and strong voice performances from Albert Brooks and Ellen DeGeneres.

It tells the timeless story of a clownfish who is willing to take risks for the first time in his life in order to find his missing son.  Stanton blends touching moments with genuine humor, filled with a fantastic cast of supporting characters that all leave you in awe with it's wonder and imagination.  

One of Pixar's best with it's seamless storytelling that fully absorbs you into a different world.

5 Tank Gangs out of 5