Daybreakers (2009)

A decade after the majority of the world's population is turned to vampirism their food stock (i.e. fresh human blood) is in short supply. If an alternative isn't found the society that until now has continued to function just fine will begin to die out, but not before the thirsty citizens turn on themselves.
Ethan Hawke stars as a haematologist searching for a viable solution. He's in the belly of the beast, but is there for the right reasons.
It's certainly an interesting spin on the vampire myth, with an always pertinent social message as undercurrent, but the film rarely manages to break out of its own muted atmosphere. Perhaps it was never meant to and I'm wrong to assume otherwise? Either way, in my mind its sombre mood successfully elucidates its message but also prevents it from being more memorable.

3 light modifications out of 5

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN [2009]

Michael Bay dishes out the "bifs, bams and booms" something fierce for Revenge of the Fallen, the second installment of the seemingly never-ending live action Transformers film series.
Shia LaBeouf is unwillingly dragged back into the war between the Autobots and Decepticons when he starts having visions of ancient symbols connected the rise of an centuries old foe known only as The Fallen.
It's an overly simple story that might have made an entertaining two-part animated cartoon but dragging it out for nearly 2½ hours without any thought-provoking substance is unbearable.  You know the film isn't worth your time when even Michael Bay has gone on record calling it "crap".  The highlights are the hard-to-follow CGI action sequences, insanely cool sound effects and impressive filming locations.

1 enemy scrotum out of 5

THE LOFT [2014]

Belgian director Erik Van Looy remakes his 2008 mystery The Loft for American audiences with very mixed results.
5 married men share a downtown loft to discreetly bring their mistresses to but things fall apart when they discover an unknown dead women there and begin suspecting each other.
At it's core, the film could have been a seedy thriller filled with over-the-top twists 'n turns that capture the audience no matter how unbelievable it gets.  Instead it's filled with terrible acting, clunky pacing, lack of suspense and characters so unlikable you're hard up for anything to grasp onto.  In the end we get a despicable albeit beautifully shot Hitchcockian wannabe that's better left forgotten.

2 keys out of 5

Immortals (2011)

Empty, vapid, insipid.

0 tanned, chiseled hardbodies out of 5