Gladiator II (2024)

Ridley Scott returns to the director's chair 24 years later to bring us the sequel no one asked for. Taking place 16 years after the conclusion of the first story, Maximus is a distant memory and Rome has reverted back to its old ways. We are introduced to Hanno (Paul Mescal), who is taken into slavery, and you can just guess his connection to this plot. Rounding out the cast is Denzel and Pedro Pascal, whose allegiances flip-flop depending on the finicky demands of the script. This is another one of those films which audiences seem to lap up, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. It's technically competent but very dull, and never manages to rise out from underneath the shadow of the original Gladiator, which was superior in every respect. The plot feels completely derivative of what's come before, except this time we've got CGI baboons, rhinos and sharks added to the mix, along with even more senseless acts of violence in the arena. And, if you can believe it, Gladiator III is apparently already underway.

IIS flooded Colosseums out of V

Much Ado About Nothing (1993)

The thought of Brian Blessed in an adapted-for-film Shakespeare tale is an exciting prospect for me, but, alas, Blessed's character (Antonio) is merely a supporting one. To the fore (eventually) are the bickering duo of Kenneth Branagh and Emma Thompson as Benedick and Beatrice, respectively, both of whom liven up the material, particularly Branagh's soliloquies, such as the one during the eavesdropping moments that give the story its best scene(s).
The playful matchmaking and wilful deceptions that skilfully upend the narrative are easy to follow, moving it along at a delightful pace. If you're a fan of Much Ado and prefer the bard's works in a faithful setting with the original language, then you'll maybe enjoy it as much as I did.

3½ hey nonny nonnies out of 5

Inside Man (2006)

It has a number of big names on the roster, but the real star of Inside Man is the person sat behind the camera, Dir. Spike Lee. His technique overshadows proceedings one minute, then works its magic subtly the next. Of the former, having Clive Owens' bank-robbing character speak directly to the viewer and some high-contrast flash-forward moments stand out the most, whereas the latter is perhaps best illustrated by the expert framing and superb camera movements that help tell the story. It's an interesting telling, most of the time, but the narrative itself tries too hard and too often to remind us of how clever it all is, which sometimes backfires, resulting in pushing a viewer out of a scene while Spike's artistry works hard at drawing us in.

3 Steves out of 5

FENCES [2016]

Actor/director Denzel Washington adapts Fences, the 6th part of August Wilson's Pittsburgh Cycle plays, for the cinema.
Washington plays a deeply flawed working class black man in the 60's who, with the help of his wife (Viola Davis), raises a family who all face the consequences of his own frustrations.
There's no razzle dazzle here nor is there any attempt to break any new grounds in storytelling or film-making.  However the film stays grounded with solid scriptwriting and strong performances, with Davis stealing the show as she holds the entire film on her shoulders.  I'd go so far as to say Washington and Davis probably hold the honor of having the best onscreen performances of 2016.  Which makes it enough to forgive it's minor weaknesses.

3½ roses for Rose out of 5

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN [2016]

The Magnificent Seven is given the very unnecessary remake treatment by director Antoine Fuqua.
We all know the story by now but if not refer to ¡Three Amigos!, then add four and you get the general idea.
What Fuqua has made is a pretty solid shoot 'em up Western that is a rarity in this day and age, so I'll take what I can get.  However what he hasn't made is something that will stand the test of time like it's source material and other classic films in it's genre.  It's clear that the cast is having a great ol' time and in doing so it makes for a pretty entertaining ride for the viewer as well.  There's plenty of cheese and cringe-worthy moments but it's so briskly paced none of it is ever overly offensive to anyone afraid of losing brain cells.

3 card tricks out of 5

He Got Game (1998)

A talented Coney Island basketball player by the name of Jesus (Ray Allen) struggles with fame, raising his sister alone, choosing a college and the unexpected return of his estranged father. It's not a typical sports movie, thankfully, but nor is it free of their usual dross.
Interestingly, Dir. Spike Lee doesn't lay the film's message on as thick as he could have; he lets the subtleties do the work instead, but they aren't quite up to the task and it runs out of steam in the last third.
Denzel is decent as a shouty father but less interesting elsewhere. The subplot with his character and Milla's is ineffectual.
The musical score also occasionally lets the drama down, contrasted by a number of Public Enemy songs that actually work well.

3 slow-mo hoop shots out of 5

THE EQUALIZER [2014]

Director Antoine Fuqua turns The Equalizer into something completely unrecognizable from the '80's TV series it's apparently based on.
Denzel Washington stars a quiet hardware store employee that extracts violent revenge on the nasty evil-doers of Boston.  The acting is effective as are the brutally violent actions scenes and moody backdrops but it doesn't detract from the fact that the plot is entirely predictable and full of tired clichés.  It's a pretty average gritty thriller and with those expectations in place you'll probably find some enjoyment in this preposterous yet engaging flick.

3 shot glasses out of 5

2 GUNS [2013]

Who would have thought that two actors with completely different acting styles, like Denzel Washington and Mark Wahlberg would have such awesome chemistry?
Apparently director Baltasar Kormákur knew when he cast them in his film adaptation of Steven Grant's graphic novel 2 Guns.
As a brainless buddy crime caper comedy it's a pretty solid effort but generally lacks in anything else original or praise-worthy.  It sticks to the formula to a tee, so if you're adverse to turning your brain off for mind-numbing violence and wise-cracks galore then seek out something else.  If not, then this is a guilt-free action film that is filled with some great laughs and action sequences for the Bad Boys fan in us all.

3 winks out of 5

SAFE HOUSE [2012]

Ryan Reynolds and Denzel Washington deliver some great performances in director Daniel Espinosa's crime thriller Safe House.

The two leads turn in some solid acting, however it's the rest of the fantastic cast that is put to waste as stock characters that have nothing to offer to the character conflicts.  The rest of the film is ruined by a predictable plot that has nothing new to offer to the genre and an irksome overuse of the shaky cam effect.   It's not offensively bad but leaves little to offer after all is said and done.

2½ guests out of 5

FLIGHT [2012]

Director Robert Zemeckis makes a bold return to his first live-action film since 2000's Cast Away for the surprisingly quiet character drama, Flight. 

Normally Zemeckis isn't particularly subtle with his work but with the help with some finely subdued performances from Denzel Washington, Don Cheadle and Kelly Reilly, Flight is able to stay grounded and focus on wonderful & complex character moments.  It's wonderful to see Zemeckis drop the motion-capture animated films for something a little more quieter and hardly depending on any FX at all.

3½ upside down planes out of 5

UNSTOPPABLE [2010]

I'll admit, I wasn't expecting much at all going into the late Tony Scott's final film, Unstoppable.  

I was a fool.  What I got was a highly entertaining, tightly wound, heart-stopping action film that's difficult not to get wrapped up into.  The premise and characters are pretty thin but we're here for the action and that's where the film excels relentlessly.  Only Scott can make a crowd of onlookers in industrial smalltown USA look just as exciting as a high speed car chase in New York City. 

Popcorn fun at some of it's finest.

3½ breakfast cereal storms out of 5

Training Day (2001)

Denzel bores the wind out of my ass with the Mr Serious routine in most of his films, which makes Training Day all the more enjoyable; he's fantastic as the cop with a hard-on for his job as a bent NARC. Ethan Hawke also shines as the butt-hurt noob with good intentions. It’s safe, predictable and over-long but has two damn fine performances from both leads.
Did I just recommend a Denzel film? I think I did. If it had a better ending it'd have scored higher.

3½ Jesus white-boy shower curtains out of 5

The Book of Eli (2010)

It’s post-apocalyptic. It’s overtly religious. It’s bullshit nonsense.

Strip away the religious skin and underneath is a plot so full of holes even Jesus would laugh, and he’s the King of contradictions.

Unsure if it wants to be an action movie or a thinking movie, it fails at both.

1 bald kitty cat out of 5