Legend (1985)

The tale of a fair maiden, a boy who is pure at heart, and an unholy presence who casts a shadow over their love, descending the world into eternal winter.

I unabashedly defend this film despite all its flaws. And there are many. It's a family friendly fantasy full of wonder and darkness. Not much happens for a large part of this film. Intellectually and emotionally shallow, the strength of its charm comes through gorgeous visuals and evocation of mood. The bloated budget lends to its broad appeal, filling its halls with goblins, elves and fairies, while Tim Curry is an intimidating presence as Lord of Darkness. It's not quite The Princess Bride and it isn't Labyrinth, but it exists somewhere in between those worlds in my mind. I would want to live within any frame of this film.

3½ unicorn horns out of 5

Note: Infamously, there are three different versions of this film (not unlike Blade Runner and Brazil), from the shorter U.S. theatrical version (with music by Tangerine Dream) to the longer European and director's cuts with the original, restored score by Jerry Goldsmith. In an attempt to be as fair as possible, my rating represents an average mean across all three iterations.

Gladiator II (2024)

Ridley Scott returns to the director's chair 24 years later to bring us the sequel no one asked for. Taking place 16 years after the conclusion of the first story, Maximus is a distant memory and Rome has reverted back to its old ways. We are introduced to Hanno (Paul Mescal), who is taken into slavery, and you can just guess his connection to this plot. Rounding out the cast is Denzel and Pedro Pascal, whose allegiances flip-flop depending on the finicky demands of the script. This is another one of those films which audiences seem to lap up, but I can't for the life of me figure out why. It's technically competent but very dull, and never manages to rise out from underneath the shadow of the original Gladiator, which was superior in every respect. The plot feels completely derivative of what's come before, except this time we've got CGI baboons, rhinos and sharks added to the mix, along with even more senseless acts of violence in the arena. And, if you can believe it, Gladiator III is apparently already underway.

IIS flooded Colosseums out of V

ALIEN: COVENANT [2017]

Director Ridley Scott's Alien: Covenant is a sequel to Prometheus and a prequel to Alien.
A colony ship's crew find a beautiful planet inhabited by a being that has a thirst for hugging their faces and bursting their chests.
As an Alien film it's really quite pointless but tries to make itself relevant by asking many questions about faith, science and the whole evolution jibber-jabber.   In the fog of all the one-dimensional characters it clumsily gives the Xenomorph a backstory that quite frankly neuters the horror of the creature.  Apart from a particularly wonderful action sequence, Michael Fassbender's performance and Jed Kurzel's Jerry Goldsmith-homage musical score, the film is an uninspired bore that really struggles to find a point in existing.

2½ John Denver transmissions out of 5

THE MARTIAN [2015]

After a string of badly received films, director Ridley Scott returns to form with his adaptation of Andy Weir's online serial novel, The Martian.
Like his most recent film before this, Matt Damon plays an astronaut, thought to be dead, who is left alone in space and must use his few supplies to find a way to contact Earth in order to get back home.  Aiming to be as scientifically realistic as possible the film is a fascinating watch, as Damon's character figures out to use his scarce resources as a means to survive.  Fortunately Damon is America's good ol' boy, who you could take out for drinks with the boys or home to have a slice of apple pie with Grandma, so it makes a lot of the solo screentime all the more likable.  I was delightfully surprised to see how funny the film turned out to be, considering how overly serious Scott has been in the past decade or so.  Unfortunately all the characters who aren't Damon are about as interesting as lint-balls and take up more time than I would have liked.  It's not a perfect film, like it's being made out to be, but it's pretty darned entertaining.

3½ horrible music selections to be stranded with out of 5

EXODUS: GODS AND KINGS [2014]

Director Ridley Scott takes it upon himself to retell the biblical story of The Amazing Adventures of Moses & The Jews in Exodus: Gods and Kings.
Uber-broody Christian Bale is cast as a sword-wielding Moses who leads 600,000 Jewish slaves out of Egypt to freedom and along the way they meet all sorts of zany characters and exciting hijinks ensue  Visually, the film is pretty damned spectacular, in both scenery and special effects, never denying itself the chance of a sweeping CGI overhead shot of the ancient lands and cities.  Elsewhere like in the heart and brains department, Exodus lacks a great deal.  Scott tries to scientifically explain all the biblical events like the parting of the Red Sea or the different plagues and in turn, he sucks all the magic out of what is actually a pretty amazing story and turns it into dazzling dullness.

2½ Godly kids out of 5

MATCHSTICK MEN [2003]

Director Ridley Scott takes up an interesting change of pace with the comedic con-caper drama  Matchstick Men.
Nicholas Cage portrays a mentally troubled con artist who has him and his partner's long con shaken up when he discover he's the father to a 14-year old girl who wants into his crime-riddled life.  Scott's smooth eye makes for a clever little film that absorbs the viewer into it's multiple character arcs that play out better than the actual story their based around.  Cage does a fine job at giving a lot of heart to the film but still tires with his "I'm crazy" shtick, whereas Alison Lohman excels as Cage's energetic teenage daughter who might be too curious for her own good.  It threatens to wander off the rails more often than I'd like but it's overall an enjoyable film that proves Scott can still tell a human story that isn't outrageously epic.

3 cans of tuna out of 5

SPRINGSTEEN & I [2013]

Inspired by Kevin MacDonald's Life In A Day, Bailie Walsh & Ridley Scott set out to produce a fan-made documentary featuring homemade videos of fans of Bruce Springsteen expressing what the artist means to them, the impact his music had on their lives and memorable concert moments.
Springsteen & I showcases fans from all over the world of all ages, ethnicities and cultures which makes for a wide variety of interesting stories to be told.  Some are funny, some are quite moving and some are...well..kinda creepsome.  The fan clips are intercut with rare performance footage and some lucky clips are of the exact performances the fans are speaking of.  The film plays without a narrative arc but is cleverly pieced together to never feel jarring or jumbled into a babbling mess.

3 Philly Elvises out of 5

HANNIBAL [2001]

Ten years after The Silence Of The Lambs, director Ridley Scott steps in for the second instalment in author Thomas Harris' Hannibal Lecter series, the lazily titled Hannibal.
Anthony Hopkins returns in the iconic role only now playing it for cheap one-liners making it seem more like a shallow and schlocky horror film rather than the inspired and thoughtful thriller of before.  Surprisingly, Julianne Moore does a fantastic job at filling Jodie Foster's shoes, who wisely declined to take part in this film.
While it has all sorts of great talents working for it, it seems more like a handful of world-class chefs making you a bowl of cereal for dinner and it's mostly Thomas Harris' shoddy source material to blame.  Instead of going for psychological character studies and thrills, it simply aims to go from Point A to B while sloppily grossing you out along the way.

2 little man-eating piggies out of 5

THE COUNSELOR [2013]

With Ridley Scott directing a star-studded cast in an original screenplay by novelist Cormac McCarthy I was expecting quite a bit from The Counselor but in the end found much to be desired.
The first hour drags quite a bit with more than enough quirky criminal monologues about next to nothing to make you wonder if it's supposed to be funny.  The second half of the film is where things get interesting and more intense as several themes of sexuality, human nature, death and consequences begin to be explored.  McCarthy's novels are near poetic perfection but his film dialogue isn't quite as interesting and this film is built on spoken words rather than actions.  There's plenty of memorable moments but it simply doesn't satisfy the hunger for a smarter thriller than this.

3 car fuckers out of 5

Alien (1979)

Ridley's first influential sci-fi is an ambitious production that's lit more like a horror film. The creeping zooms in dark corridors and ominous environments reinforce the claustrophobic living conditions that influence the crew. It's a cold, distanced experience that forces you to find a connection with the mostly unlikeable protagonists. Once you find it, you feel the fear the same as they do when the terror comes calling.
The themes that would make Cameron's action movie sequel worth watching were birthed here, hiding in the narrative and the performance.
The original 1979 Theatrical Cut is superior to the 2003 Director's Cut.
Let's not forget H.R. Giger, who gave the world the most fascinating alien design I've ever seen. Its appeal is that it's familiar but frightening.

5 meals ruined out of 5

GLADIATOR [2000]

Director Ridley Scott brings the historical epic drama back to the big screen in the hugely successful Gladiator.  

Russell Crowe does a fantastic job at portraying the larger-than-life lead role of Maximus while still scaling the character down to give him an every man feel.  With some extravagant sets & costumes, beautiful photography and hypnotizing score courtesy of Hans Zimmer & Lisa Gerrard, Gladiator sets out to entertain and it does so with jaw-dropping flair that will leave an impression for many years to come. 

4 wheat fields out of 5

PROMETHEUS [2012]

Ridley Scott's first visit back to the Alien-verse since 1979, Prometheus, is a bit of a questionable one.

While it's nice to see a sci-fi film using physical sets and animatronics instead of 99.9% CGI, there's just too many elements missing to make it a bit disappointing.  The characters are bland and dumb as fuck, there's an extreme lack of menace and you can't help but feel that it went through rewrite hell.  However there are some great set-pieces and some VERY memorable scenes that will haunt me forever.

As a popcorn film it's an entertaining ride...as an Alien film, it's a colossal disappointment.

2½ Peter O'Toole's out of 5

BLADE RUNNER [1982]

Film noir usually consists of the cynical detective, the femme fatale, a vast array of deadly thugs, corrupt policemen, endless rain and in Philip K. Dick's Blade Runner, android owls.

On & off director Ridley Scott's brilliant adaptation of the gritty sci-fi noir novel is essential viewing for space nerds and film buffs alike.  Having been tinkered with several times over the past 30 years, Blade Runner is made nearly perfect in every way in The Final Cut.  Sure the characters are still a bit boring but the story, setting, atmosphere, sets and photography make up for it with flying colors.

It's a breathtaking and believable film that still holds up strongly till this day.

5 Eyes Of Providence of 5