Up in Smoke (1978)

AKA: Cheech & Chong's Up in Smoke

The first of the big screen adventures of Cheech & Chong follows the hilarious antics of two drug-obsessed young hombres, Pedro and Man. While the plot is scattershot, it's kind of irrelevant when you've got chemistry off the charts like this. You have to be attuned to a particular kind of lowbrow humor to fully appreciate it; being a doper is not required (though I'm sure it probably helps). As someone who has never smoked a day in his life, I find this shit hilarious. 

Arising from the hippie and drug counterculture movements of the '60s and '70s, it effectively established the stoner buddy comedy genre, inspiring the likes of Bill & Ted, Jay & Silent Bob, Harold & Kumar and other dopey duos.

3 weed trucks out of 5

M*A*S*H (1970)

Its reputation as a "hilarious" comedy may give first time viewers false expectations of what M*A*S*H will deliver. While there are a handful of genuinely funny moments, the humour is more ingrained in the characters as a kind of coping mechanism than something than can be picked out as an example in the script. The japes are as dry as the martinis that army surgeon Hawkeye (Sutherland) enjoys at the end of a shift, after spending hours wrist-deep in the blood of his fellow soldiers in a makeshift Operating Room during the war in Korea. The attitude of the medical staff keeps them sane in an environment that's little more than a collection of tents pitched in perpetual mud. The individual moments within the film have their own discernible merits, of course, but its true value only surfaces when considered as a whole piece.

3½ pains withheld out of 5

Steel Magnolias (1989)

A film based on a stage play by Robert Harling about a group of six Louisianan women and the close-knit bonds they forge.
It skips forward years at a time, eschewing a traditional structure. If you over-analyse it you’ll be left with fragments that don’t satisfy in a meaningful way; they need to be viewed as a whole in order to make any kind of impact. The happenings are set during times that are markers, annual festivals or public holidays, alongside more distinctly personal events like a wedding, etc. Ultimately, it explores the consequences of either choosing to hold or choosing to play the hand of cards that life deals, while simultaneously celebrating the moments in time that shape us.

3½ mysterious ways out of 5

Poltergeist III (1988)

By the time Part III came along Heather O'Rourke had made the transition from a kid in a movie doing what adults asked of her into a fully-fledged young actress acting. She's accompanied by a stand-in big sister because Carol Anne's parents are nowhere to be seen.
There are creepy happenings from the very beginning that get more and more bizarre as the story nears the end.
Like the first film it takes place almost entirely inside an enclosed space; it's a bigger space but it's still confined. In many ways it feels more like an Elm Street story with slight script revisions than a Poltergeist one.

2½ cracked mirrors out of 5

CONTACT [1997]

Contact is director Robert Zemeckis' fascinating study of the scientific and religious possibilities of life beyond our solar system.
By taken some intellectual and philosophical points of view, Zemeckis & co manage to paint a very realistic picture of the man's first contact with "aliens" which gives the narrative quite a bit to chew on.  Fortunately with the likes of Jodie Foster and others, the film is easily digestible and never overly preachy or one-sided to still be considered cinematic entertainment.  Things get a little lost in the FX-riddled climax, which is odd because Zemeckis is usually quite clever at combining FX with good story-telling but when all is said and done, Contact is still fully satisfying as a thoughtful film or a sci-fi ride, on par with Close Encounters Of The Third Kind.

4 wastes of space out of 5

Poker Alice (1987)

Elizabeth Taylor did some less than stellar work in her later years. This one isn't her worst 90 minutes, but it gives her very little to do, which is a crime in itself. The script is light-hearted throwaway nonsense for the first hour. She’s a poker player for whom the word ‘lose’ doesn't exist. The writer squeezes everything he can out of the role, which isn't very much.
The final third contains two scenes that let her be the cruel, snide bitch firing all guns on the outside while hurting inside—the kind of role that she’s best at, but it's too little too late. For Liz devotees only.

2 overdeveloped curiosities out of 5

Alien (1979)

Ridley's first influential sci-fi is an ambitious production that's lit more like a horror film. The creeping zooms in dark corridors and ominous environments reinforce the claustrophobic living conditions that influence the crew. It's a cold, distanced experience that forces you to find a connection with the mostly unlikeable protagonists. Once you find it, you feel the fear the same as they do when the terror comes calling.
The themes that would make Cameron's action movie sequel worth watching were birthed here, hiding in the narrative and the performance.
The original 1979 Theatrical Cut is superior to the 2003 Director's Cut.
Let's not forget H.R. Giger, who gave the world the most fascinating alien design I've ever seen. Its appeal is that it's familiar but frightening.

5 meals ruined out of 5

The Dead Zone (1983)

Johnny does a good deed and is punished for it. He goes to sleep.
His woman is a whore and does what women and whores do.
Johnny wakes and life is screwed up. He does another good deed...
It takes a great director to make a great film from a Stephen King book; Dead Zone is certainly one of the better ones. It has Christopher Walken on fine form. It's directed by David Cronenberg. It's a classic, imo.

4 lines of Poe out of 5