Eden Lake (2008)

Eden Lake is a backwater town full of unruly assholes, where a well-meaning vacationing couple unfortunately find themselves caught up in the middle of it, terrorized by a group of young hoodlums. This is a very distressing film that is hard to look away from, and hinges on the border of torture porn with its depictions of sadistic violence, yet it's unforgettable for all the right reasons.

3 Rottweilers out of 5

(cuckoo's take)

Black Bag (2025)

An espionage thriller about a British intelligence officer and his wife who investigate an internal leak among four other spies. It's a premise that starts out intriguing and shrouded in mystery, but quickly proves to be dry and dull as ditchwater. It's the kind of film that thinks it's cleverer than the audience, but joke's on them: I didn't give a single shit about any of it in the first place.

The good thing about Steven Soderbergh is if you don't like one of his movies, just wait 6 months, and he'll come out with another one.

2 polygraphs out of 5

Kneecap (2024)

In West Belfast in the late 2010s, two juvenile delinquents and a music teacher form a hip-hop trio called Kneecap who rap in their native Irish tongue, while they struggle against political opposition and those who would silence them for their vulgar lyrics. What's unique about this "loose" biopic is that the trio play themselves in the film, which lends a respective air of authenticity to the proceedings, as they attempt to defend free speech and their right to speak Irish (which is apparently more controversial than I realized). It's all done in a fairly competent, hyper entertaining fashion, and the music ain't bad either.

3 lines of ketamine mistaken for coke out of 5

ALIEN: COVENANT [2017]

Director Ridley Scott's Alien: Covenant is a sequel to Prometheus and a prequel to Alien.
A colony ship's crew find a beautiful planet inhabited by a being that has a thirst for hugging their faces and bursting their chests.
As an Alien film it's really quite pointless but tries to make itself relevant by asking many questions about faith, science and the whole evolution jibber-jabber.   In the fog of all the one-dimensional characters it clumsily gives the Xenomorph a backstory that quite frankly neuters the horror of the creature.  Apart from a particularly wonderful action sequence, Michael Fassbender's performance and Jed Kurzel's Jerry Goldsmith-homage musical score, the film is an uninspired bore that really struggles to find a point in existing.

2½ John Denver transmissions out of 5

X-MEN: APOCALYPSE [2016]

X-men: Apocalypse is the ninth film in the film franchise (and director Bryan Singer's fourth) and it seems like it's just starting to come full circle with the conclusion of the First Class story arc.
En Sabah Nur (aka Apocalypse), the world's oldest mutant, has risen after thousands of years of being buried underground, making him a bit testy, so he would love to wipe out mankind and rule the world as he sees fit.
As special effects summer blockbuster, the film is a wide-eyed spectacle that doesn't disappoint from a technical point of view.  However as a character piece, it hits a few marks with success and then misses many like an elephant using chopsticks.  There's some wonderful moments from most of the characters, especially the new kids (not Mystique...she's always been boring) but it constantly loses focus before a proper pay-off is given.
Not enough surprises and creativity shows the franchise is losing steam again so hopefully it gets a swift kick in the butt before it tackles the stories it's leading up to.

3 shots at last stands out of 5

STEVE JOBS [2015]

Director Danny Boyle & screenwriter Aaron Sorkin together craft a near-perfect autobiographical drama about priggish Apple co-founder, Steve Jobs.
Broken up into three distinct parts, the film follows Jobs' three major demo launches: the Macintosh, NeXT PC & the iMac G3, all while trying to juggle the troubles that surround his personal life.  
The film interestingly choses not to allow the settings take place anywhere else rather than back-stage of each launch given it a torando-esque feel of enticing dialogue and a fittingly hurried pace that never misses a beat.  Boyle knows the script is the star here and allows his usual frantic style of film-making to take a back-seat (apart from a few distractions) and resorting to using some subtle techniques only film-lovers will probably pick up on.
It's the welcome type of movie that isn't too heavy.  Isn't too light.  It's really just right.

4 Judy Jetson Easy-Bake Ovens out of 5

FRANK [2014]

Director Lenny Abrahamson's off-kilter bittersweet drama Frank is the type of film that would fit neatly within Michel Gondry's filmography.
Heavily inpsired by Chris Sievey's Frank Sidebottom character, it follows the tale of a young musician who's whisked away into the bizarre life of an eccentric musical group and it's mask-wearing leader.  Each character suffers from some sort of mental illness but somehow it all seems to work until their order is threatened by the chaos of the mainstream music scene.  By studying mental illness and creativity, one can't help but think of Daniel Johnston or Nick Drake and quite often the genius of the music shows it when it's at it's most frail and disjointed.  It does an incredible job at portraying the struggles and rewards of creative collaboration just as much as it delights the heart with humor, drama and the bizarre.

4 shiny crazy diamonds out of 5

CENTURION [2010]

Just because director Neil Marshall steered away from the horror genre, doesn't mean he left his Splat Pack roots behind with the excessively gory historical action film, Centurion.
The film tells the story of a small group of Roman soldiers in 117 A.D. fighting for survival behind enemy lines as the escape from a pack of Picts hunting them down.  As entertaining as the film is, it lacks any real characterization or believable dialogue and therefore becomes somewhat tiresome by the third act.  If not for the beautiful photography, talented cast and wonder how they're going wrap things up, it might not have been quite as enjoyable.

3 witches out of 5

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST [2014]

Director Bryan Singer returns to the X-men franchise for the prequel to his own series and a sequel to the excellent prequel, Days Of Future Past.
Confusing?  Yes and no.
As long as you have your nerds hats on and are fairly knowledgeable of the comics then you shouldn't have a problem.  If this isn't your case you're still in for a pretty great ride that never ceases to entertain and enthral with it's many character moments and extravagant action sequences.
Like the best of the X-films, this one carries an emotional punch that will have your heart left in a grey area as to what is right and wrong, depending on your love for humanity.
It's a story that threatens to collapse under it's own weight but never does thanks to Singer's wonderful storytelling and impressive ensemble cast.  Overall, it's easily one of the best X-films to date.

3½ cameos, cameos, cameos out of 5

THE COUNSELOR [2013]

With Ridley Scott directing a star-studded cast in an original screenplay by novelist Cormac McCarthy I was expecting quite a bit from The Counselor but in the end found much to be desired.
The first hour drags quite a bit with more than enough quirky criminal monologues about next to nothing to make you wonder if it's supposed to be funny.  The second half of the film is where things get interesting and more intense as several themes of sexuality, human nature, death and consequences begin to be explored.  McCarthy's novels are near poetic perfection but his film dialogue isn't quite as interesting and this film is built on spoken words rather than actions.  There's plenty of memorable moments but it simply doesn't satisfy the hunger for a smarter thriller than this.

3 car fuckers out of 5

12 YEARS A SLAVE [2013]

Based on Solomon Northup's own auto-biographical 1853 novel, 12 Years A Slave, director Steve McQueen takes up the heavy challenge of adapting it into a powerfully moving film.
Everything about it from the outside screams Hollywood epic tale but once you get past that you find an intimate tale about the power of the human soul in even the worst of times.  Some of the most effective moments are long takes of nothing but silence and allowing the actor's eyes or subtle body movements to do the talking.  Chiwetel Ejiofor deserves every bit of praise he's received for this role but so should Michael Fassbender, as despicable as his character is, one can't deny the impact of his performance.
As difficult as some of the necessary subject material is to watch, it's a film and story that needs to be told, heard and seen.

4 fiddles out of 5

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS [2009]

Writer/director Quentin Tarantino's self-proclaimed masterpiece Inglorious Basterds seems to be a "love it or hate it" type of film.

Giving the WWII film a spaghetti western makeover, Tarantino dumps his morals out the window and inserts cartoonish entertainment, laughter and brutal violence into the holocaust days with a smug look on his face.  It might be an enjoyable ride for some, while others it's an offensive, disrespectful shit-bucket.  Depending on how you feel about the subject material is what will measure your enjoyment of the film.  Christophe Waltz's performance turns the long, drawn-out scenes into something worth watching.  Basically in the end, it's like a script from a high school student who has no idea what WWII was and then shot & edited by a film school art student, which gives it all a certain type of likeable flair.  

3½ Nation's Pride out of 5

Pitch Black Heist (2012)

John Maclean’s second short, again starring Michael Fassbender and again shot in black and white, is even better than Man on a Motorcycle (2009).
It’s the story of two professional safe crackers who meet for the first time and are forced to work together. One is a chatty prick, the other a silent professional. They couldn't be more different.
Maclean lets the story unfold at its own pace, never pushing the narrative unnecessarily. The cinematography by Robbie Ryan helps raise the bar, making this stylish award winner a joy to watch.

3½ steps to the left out of 5

BLOOD CREEK [2009]

I have to give it to director Joel Schumacher for constantly exploring different genres and styles.

In Blood Creek, Schumacher goes all out with the gore and an unusual amount of animal cruelty.  

While the film isn't necessarily very good, it certainly is unpredictable.

I went in expecting pure shit and came out mildly amused and entertained.  

2½ stomach fluid surprises out of 5

PROMETHEUS [2012]

Ridley Scott's first visit back to the Alien-verse since 1979, Prometheus, is a bit of a questionable one.

While it's nice to see a sci-fi film using physical sets and animatronics instead of 99.9% CGI, there's just too many elements missing to make it a bit disappointing.  The characters are bland and dumb as fuck, there's an extreme lack of menace and you can't help but feel that it went through rewrite hell.  However there are some great set-pieces and some VERY memorable scenes that will haunt me forever.

As a popcorn film it's an entertaining ride...as an Alien film, it's a colossal disappointment.

2½ Peter O'Toole's out of 5

EDEN LAKE [2008]

James Watkins directs this brutal and upsetting British thriller that is more miss than hit. It follows a couple on a camping trip that's disturbed by a group of bad seed kids, one of which turns out to be a sociopathic murderer. 

It's fairly predictable in some spots and the complete opposite in others.  Several scenes threaten to fall apart, however it manages to compromise that with an ending that leaves your jaw on the floor with an overwhelming and uncomfortable feeling of disgust and sadness for humanity.

2½ unlucky dogs out of 5

(bud's take)

A DANGEROUS METHOD [2011]

Director David Cronenberg returns to the screen after a 5 year absence with the period drama A Dangerous Method.
Cronenberg's made a name for himself cinematically studying the dark passages of the human mind, so a film about psychoanalysts Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and Sabina Spielrein seemed like it would be the perfect fit.
Cronenberg approaches these characters with hardly any enthusiasm and never really goes anywhere interesting or intense with their relationships. It's more or less straight up melodramatic schmaltz. Viggo Mortenson and Keira Knightley hold it together with some wonderful performances but Michael Fassbender, being the lead, has such a weak screen presence it allows the whole film to fall apart.
It's not a bad film but it's no Cronenberg film.

3 Cliche Statue Of Liberty shots out of 5

Jane Eyre (2011)

Dark, broodish and gorgeously shot...what's not to like? Strong-willed and independent-minded Jane Eyre braves a horrible upbringing and woos the heart of headmaster Mr. Rochester in this dreary Gothic tale. Not as tragic as I initially anticipated (and with an ending I'm still uncertain I agree with), I still soaked up every moment of this.

4 classic Victorian settings out of 5

X-men: First Class [2011]

Matthew Vaughn crafts a highly entertaining little comic book tale with the latest installment of the hit & miss X-men movie franchise.
It's a hammy spectacle edging closer to Raimi's comic book style rather than the style Bryan Singer established with the original X film. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender turn in some great performances but not good enough to make us forget Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen.
Vaughn does manage to fit in enough style from the '60's but never really enough to make it feel outdated. A lot of dialogue is forced and silly as is the music which is quite distracting when heavy Limp Bizkit style rock music kicks in, in what should be a movie taking place in the '60's.
Not a film to write home about but still a fun time out and by far my favorite since the first X film.

3 Leland Palmers? out of 5