BEAUTY AND THE BEAST [2017]

Twilight: Breaking Dawn director Bill Condon faithfully adapts Disney's animated classic Beauty and the Beast into a live-action musical.
The story of a young woman who falls in love with a monstrous fella that lives within a magical castle keeps Alan Menken & Howard Ashman's iconic songs firmly intact much to the pleasure of fans of the original film.  However heavily auto-tuned Emma Watson's flat-lining performance is far too dull to equal the strength of her character's beliefs.  Dan Stevens does his best as the Beast underneath a heavy layer of poorly rendered CGI fur but it's simply never enough to ignore it's artificial look.  Thankfully Luke Evans & Josh Gad are entertaining bad-boy scene-stealers, while Ewan McGregor & Emma Thompson's voice-work an absolute delight.  For an extravagant musical the camerawork is an absolute bore that never quite elevates the film to majesty it should have been.  Close but no cigar.

2½ really annoying singing wardrobes out of 5

THE HOBBIT: THE BATTLE OF THE FIVE ARMIES [2014]

The final part of Peter Jackson's over-bloated Hobbit trilogy brings us to a mildy under-whelming farewell to the cinematic world of Middle Earth.
The Battle Of The Five Armies will satisfy hardcore fans of Jackson's vision but will more than likely bore anyone uninterested with it's constant attack of CGI battles and creepy crawlies.  It might be billed as "the defining chapter" but one can't help but feel it's not much more than a generous helping of fan service.  With all that out of the way, as a fan, it's a pretty jaw-dropping spectacle with many an applause worthy sequence and giddy-inducing moments leading into the Lord Of The Rings.  

3 bears falling out of the sky out of 5

X-MEN: DAYS OF FUTURE PAST [2014]

Director Bryan Singer returns to the X-men franchise for the prequel to his own series and a sequel to the excellent prequel, Days Of Future Past.
Confusing?  Yes and no.
As long as you have your nerds hats on and are fairly knowledgeable of the comics then you shouldn't have a problem.  If this isn't your case you're still in for a pretty great ride that never ceases to entertain and enthral with it's many character moments and extravagant action sequences.
Like the best of the X-films, this one carries an emotional punch that will have your heart left in a grey area as to what is right and wrong, depending on your love for humanity.
It's a story that threatens to collapse under it's own weight but never does thanks to Singer's wonderful storytelling and impressive ensemble cast.  Overall, it's easily one of the best X-films to date.

3½ cameos, cameos, cameos out of 5

THE HOBBIT: THE DESOLATION OF SMAUG [2013]

With the 2nd part of Peter Jackson's Hobbit trilogy, the wonky pacing of the first is smoothed out making for a more enjoyable experience.
The Desolation Of Smaug still might be longer than it really should be but the pay-off is well worth the wait with the introduction of the mighty dragon, voiced with exquisite intimidation by Benedict Cumberbatch.  Sure, there's a lot of padding to flesh the story out into three films but Jackson, Guillermo Del Toro & crew are obviously so committed to staying true to Tolkien's world, characters and themes that it all blends together quite organically.  The problems with the 48 fps of the original are completely diminished and makes for an even more incredible experience.
The final razzle dazzle film of the year is quite literally the way to end 2013 with a bang.

4 barrel rides out of 5

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING (extended edition) [2003]

Peter Jackson & co. deliver an emotionally powerful, visually breath-taking grand finale to The Lord Of The Rings film trilogy with The Return Of The King.
Clocking in at over 4 hours it feels like no time is put to waste with it's satisfying character moments, terrifying battle scenes and beautiful backdrops courtesy of New Zealand.  So much care and love was put into every single element of the film you know it's a film for the fans made by fans.  Many might complain about the overly long conclusion but I find it more than suiting to wrap up everything while never wanting to let the characters go.  This trilogy as a whole is a fine achievement in film-making that has already found it's place in cinema history and with good reason.

4½ drinking games out of 5

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS (extended edition) [2002]

With The Fellowship Of The Ring being a huge success, Peter Jackson & co. would have a lot to live up to with the second Lord Of The Rings film, The Two Towers.
Unfortunately it doesn't quite live up to the adventure of the first film.  It actually tends to drag in several moments with drawn out scenes of character interaction that does nothing to move the story forward or further develop any personality.  There's still several moments that are quite engaging, including the Helms Deep battle and anything involving Andy Serkis' fantastic performance as the demented Gollum.  In the end it's a mess of a film even Jackson & co. admitted to having great difficulty trying to assemble but still worth the time if you're a fan of the series.

3½ fat hobbits out of 5

THE LORD OF THE RINGS: FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING (extended edition) [2001]

They said it couldn't be with much doubt but Peter Jackson & co. brought J.R.R. Tolkien's classic epic fantasy novel The Lord Of The Rings to the screen with smashing success both financially and creatively.
The expanded edition of the first instalment The Fellowship Of Ring is easily the definitive version as it smooths out some of the rough skips and bumps in the original edit.  Fleshing out the vivid characters just a bit more added so much to the rich details Jackson gave the world of Middle Earth and it's inhabitants.   With a perfectly rounded out cast, dazzling special effects, beautifully intricate set design, dizzying photography and a powerful score from Howard Shore the film is a milestone in modern film-making.  At the heart of the razzle dazzle lays a wonderfully woven tale about love, friendship and hope in increasingly dark times set within a world of adventure, fantasy and horror.

5 2nd breakfasts out of 5 

THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY [2012]

The first part of director Peter Jackson's questionably drawn out 2nd Middle Earth Trilogy, The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is a welcome return to the world by fans.

There's a familiar air about the film that is both comforting and tense but Jackson fills it up with more than enough background info to destroy some of the mystery of the world.  Martin Freeman & Ian McKellen are absolutely wonderful in the lead roles, as are the ensemble dwarf cast but there's only so much little people partying one would care to see in one film.  As for the controversial 48fps deal?  It's quite effective in some scenes and is in dire need to iron out the kinks in other scenes.  

Being a fan of Jackson and his work, I can't help but anticipate the next two instalments, no matter what little qualms I have with this first part.

3½ dwarf burglars out of 5

The Golden Compass (2007)

I thought the book that GC was based on was highly overrated; the film isn't any better. It’s a colourful mess that oozes money but lacks soul. It feels rushed and unloved. The awful set-up for the sequels that never came is embarrassingly unabashed. Dakota Blue Richards impresses as Lyra, but the character is, like the world she inhabits, much too underdeveloped for us to connect with. The danger level stutters along at a weary pace, never reaching a level where we begin to doubt that the good guys will win. It’s a children’s adventure story so perhaps the very young, the real target audience, will be more forgiving than I am.

2 bears with no hangover sore head out of 5

X-Men: The Last Stand (2006)

Brett Ratner turned this chapter in Jean Grey's evolution into a mostly soulless summer action movie. The first hour is good, but it shits the bed in the second half. If you accept that prior to viewing, then it's possible to enjoy parts of it, but if you're expecting the semi-sophisticated aesthetic of the two previous films then you're going to be butt-hurt. On the plus side, Magneto's Brotherhood begins to feel more like an organisation and less like a gathering of friends over tea and cake. It's a good thing that the main series ended here.

2½ characters with little to do out of 5

X-Men 2 (2003)

Bryan Singer's last sitting in the X-Men director's chair follows on from, and expands upon, what he started in the first film. It's more action packed this time, has more characters to accommodate and requires a longer running time to do so. There's some unexpected pairing up of characters, some internal conflicts and some subtle motivations that may go unnoticed with your first viewing. The more I watch it the more I get from it. It's focussed on Wolverine a lot, but Patrick Stewart once more steals the show. Did Mystique just flip...!

3½ Bamfs and Snickts out of 5

X-Men (2000)

A group of mutants band together to fight injustice. It sounds cheesy as hell on paper, but it works on-screen, mostly because half the cast are superb. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen together (Thank Jebus Russell Crowe was too greedy to take the Wolverine role.)
X-Men was one of the first (if not the first) comic book films that pleased fanboys and fangirls and also managed to find a target audience of non-comic book fans. It set the bar high and every Superhero film that followed owes a debt to what it achieved critically. Director Singer makes it one giant allegorical blip on the Gaydar, but it doesn't interfere with the storytelling.

3½ preferences for leather out of 5