CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY [2005]

Tim Burton directs the 2nd adaptation of Roald Dahl's classic novel Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and in turn we get a more faithful and darker version than Mel Stuart's 1971 film.
Johnny Depp is deliciously off the wall as he turns Willy Wonka into a germaphobe, child-detesting dandy with a love for latex gloves and flashbacks but it's Freddie Highmore who really impresses in the title role with a natural and likeable performance.  It's a Burton film so expect some awkward moments that seem out of place and disjointed bridges into the next scene.  As dedicated to it's source material as the film is, it still has a problem pinpointing where it's heart is, amidst all the outrageously bizarre sets and musical moments.  Nevertheless, it's a fine film to please Burton, Depp and composer Danny Elfman fans with it's paint-by-numbers style the team have come to be known for.

3 bad nuts out of 5

The Golden Compass (2007)

I thought the book that GC was based on was highly overrated; the film isn't any better. It’s a colourful mess that oozes money but lacks soul. It feels rushed and unloved. The awful set-up for the sequels that never came is embarrassingly unabashed. Dakota Blue Richards impresses as Lyra, but the character is, like the world she inhabits, much too underdeveloped for us to connect with. The danger level stutters along at a weary pace, never reaching a level where we begin to doubt that the good guys will win. It’s a children’s adventure story so perhaps the very young, the real target audience, will be more forgiving than I am.

2 bears with no hangover sore head out of 5

The Art of Getting By (2011)

Each year, Hollywood likes to make the same "indie" drama over and over again. Fatalistic teen is obsessed with death and the meaninglessness of it all. Enter the most beautiful woman in the entire world (roll eyes) who just happens to come into his life. Do I even need to tell you how this movie ends? You want to know what the reality of this situation would be? She would have never looked his way. The lonely kid grows up into a lonely man, lives alone and dies alone. FUCK OFF.

1 unrequited hard-on in the middle of the night out of 5