Afraid (2024)

Be careful what you fap for...

Typical techno-xenophobic propaganda bogged down by tired tropes and nothing truly original to say. AI bad, turns on humans, makes their lives a living hell. I liked it more when it was called The Terminator. Couldn't be more predictable if it tried.

Lesson: If you want to get along with sentient life-saving technology that has supreme control over you and promises to enhance every aspect of your existence, be respectful and harmonious with it, don't be resistant to change and threaten to unplug it. Duh.

1½ deepfakes out of 5

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: NEW MOON [2009]

The Golden Compass director Chris Weitz replaces Catherine Hardwicke & her horrendously boring direction for the second instalment of the uber-popular Twilight Saga, New Moon.

The film starts off with a potentially interesting concept but quickly kicks that into the dirt after 10 minutes and finds itself moping around for what seemed like a lifetime.  A breath of life is sloppily forced into the story taking a turn into something far more interesting about one hour into the film.  Michael Sheen is an absolute delight to watch in a small yet vital role which makes me want to see more of him.  I know I'm not a teenage girl and won't find much in this, but bad storytelling & filmmaking is just plain bad and I know for a fact there is far more better films out there for the insecure, broken emo girl looking for quality entertainment.

2 shirtless injuns who cut there silly long hair out of 5

The Golden Compass (2007)

I thought the book that GC was based on was highly overrated; the film isn't any better. It’s a colourful mess that oozes money but lacks soul. It feels rushed and unloved. The awful set-up for the sequels that never came is embarrassingly unabashed. Dakota Blue Richards impresses as Lyra, but the character is, like the world she inhabits, much too underdeveloped for us to connect with. The danger level stutters along at a weary pace, never reaching a level where we begin to doubt that the good guys will win. It’s a children’s adventure story so perhaps the very young, the real target audience, will be more forgiving than I am.

2 bears with no hangover sore head out of 5