MISS PEREGRINE'S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN [2016]

Without the aid of Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter or Danny Elfman, director Tim Burton steps out of his comfort zone for the best with his adaptation of Ransom Riggs' Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children.
When his storytelling grandfather dies, young Jake travels to England where he discovers the tales are true, after he time travels into the 1940's to a hidden orphanage that houses a group of bizarre super-powered children.
Like the black & white photos that litter the novel itself, Burton's film can get immensely creepy and oddly disturbing, so don't take the wee ones to this one.  It's filled with beautifully frightening imagery and fantastical music, so naturally it's going to please fans of the director's earlier works.  The characters are a little thin and things are a bit rushed in moments but overall it's the perfect answer to the over-exposure of dystopian future YA stories.

3½ delightfully tasty eyeballs out of 5

THE SALVATION [2014]

Danish director Kristien Levring's western The Salvation could have been a unique experience considering it's set-up is rarely ever explored in the genre.
Mad Mikkelsen (who seems to be able to play anything well) is a Danish settler who's having a difficult time getting into the groove of the 1870's American frontier.  Sounds pretty interesting so far but within 10 minutes into the film, it forgets all that and turns into a paint-by-numbers western revenge flick.  There's some interesting moments of creativity with the action and camerawork but that's few and far between.  Eva Green's presence is a delight, as her mute character speaks louder than words in this formulaic snoozefest.  With lowered expectations Western enthusiasts might get a bit out of it but should be prepared to forget all about it within the day.

2 "your momma" jokes out of 5

Womb (2010)

aka Clone (in the UK)

Films that elicit powerful emotions without needing words linger in my mind longer than ones that use dialogue. Mostly because dialogue is a mechanical process that can be as alienating as it is beautiful, whereas silence can break a heart more effectively than a callous word.
The language of Womb is the language of loss. It’s the story of Rebecca and Thomas. When left alone, the emptiness in which Rebecca exists isn't a void; it’s a birthplace waiting for life to happen. Until then, the heavy silences and recurring symbolism that drive the narrative forward will require your complete attention.

5 patterns out of 5

DARK SHADOWS [2012]

Director Tim Burton's big screen adaptation of the 60's gothic horror soap opera Dark Shadows rounds up the usual suspects: Johhny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee, Danny Elfman and quirkiness.

It's still fun to see these folks all work together, granted the material is quality, sadly that is not the case here.  Burton's usually good at blending campy humour with gory Hammer type horror but unfortunately he never seems to find the right balance and it hurts the film quite a bit.  As a dedicated longtime fan of Burton's work I still found some limited enjoyment in this mess but I'd advise you steer clear if you have no love for the man.

2½ glass witches out of 5 

The Golden Compass (2007)

I thought the book that GC was based on was highly overrated; the film isn't any better. It’s a colourful mess that oozes money but lacks soul. It feels rushed and unloved. The awful set-up for the sequels that never came is embarrassingly unabashed. Dakota Blue Richards impresses as Lyra, but the character is, like the world she inhabits, much too underdeveloped for us to connect with. The danger level stutters along at a weary pace, never reaching a level where we begin to doubt that the good guys will win. It’s a children’s adventure story so perhaps the very young, the real target audience, will be more forgiving than I am.

2 bears with no hangover sore head out of 5

Perfect Sense (2011)

A chef (Ewan McGregor) meets cute with a scientist (Eva Green). Meanwhile, the world is afflicted by a strange disease that manifests itself as powerful emotions followed by the loss of senses, one by one. If Blindness and Contagion come to mind, then you're on the right track. Explores the power of human will and adaptation against the harshest conditions the world has to offer. This is the saddest, most hopeless romance I've ever seen.

5 fat 'n flour out of 5