Dollman (1991)

Brick Bardo is an intergalactic space cop who finds himself 13 inches on Earth. [Hold for laughter.] This is basically Full Moon's answer to a science fiction version of Puppet Master. Featuring Tim Thomerson (of the long-running Trancers series), and Jackie Earle Haley as Braxton Red, Bardo's sworn enemy, this one is charming in a way similar to old '60s sci-fi features. It's the type of silly premise that's easy to laugh off (and encourages it), but it kind of occupies a strange, happy place in your memory.

2½ Kruger Blasters out of 5

PARKLAND [2013]

Journalist Peter Landesman made his directorial debut with the dramatically effective, yet ultimately pointless, historical drama Parkland.
Set in the three days that immediately followed JFK's assassination, we follow an ensemble of ordinary folks who aren't well remembered names that played a big part in the events, such as the doctors, reporters, policeman, secret service men and relatives of the larger than life names.
It offers a unique perspective on the controversial subject matter but it runs off into too many directions to really allow the viewer to become emotionally attached to any of the characters being explored.  There's some excellent performances from the long list of who's who of indie-films, particularly the always wonderful Paul Giamatti, James Badge Dale and Jacki Weaver.  With an extra 45 minutes (yes, that much) I think it could have been a great film but instead it's nothing but a valiant but uncompelling effort.

3 of the world's most famous rolls of 8mm films out of 5

WATCHMEN - THE ULTIMATE CUT [2009]

Clocking in at over 3½ hours, Zack Snyder's Ultimate Cut of the film adaptation of Alan Moore & Dave Gibbons' acclaimed graphic novel Watchmen is the definitive version without a doubt.
As faithful as the film is to it's source material, in the end it's the dedication that hurts the experience most.  Snyder pretty much films exactly what is seen on the pages of the graphic novel and forgets to translate it into film with a voice of his own and in turn adds nothing to the works that wasn't already said in it's original form.  However visually and stylistically it's a wonder to watch such gritty, violent beauty on film.  I applaud Snyder's putting all his heart and soul into a hard R-rated film that would be a hard sell to franchise greedy Hollywood executives.

3½ Black Freighters out of 5

DARK SHADOWS [2012]

Director Tim Burton's big screen adaptation of the 60's gothic horror soap opera Dark Shadows rounds up the usual suspects: Johhny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee, Danny Elfman and quirkiness.

It's still fun to see these folks all work together, granted the material is quality, sadly that is not the case here.  Burton's usually good at blending campy humour with gory Hammer type horror but unfortunately he never seems to find the right balance and it hurts the film quite a bit.  As a dedicated longtime fan of Burton's work I still found some limited enjoyment in this mess but I'd advise you steer clear if you have no love for the man.

2½ glass witches out of 5 

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

1 worthless, unnecessary remake out of 5