The Kovak Box (2006)

Having twenty-five novels under his belt means science fiction writer David Norton is pretty pleased with himself, until his real life begins to resemble a sequel to one of his own fiction stories. He’s a human rat in a difficult maze, unable to distinguish between the stimuli and the deterrents.
The story had a lot of potential, but there’s zero chemistry between the lead actors. With the exception of David Kelly, the protagonists lack of enthusiasm means it plods along when it really ought to be racing ahead.
The clever camera-movements offering glimpses of what’s at the edge of the frame but crucial to what’s within it are praiseworthy.

3 murder ballads out of 5

CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY [2005]

Tim Burton directs the 2nd adaptation of Roald Dahl's classic novel Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and in turn we get a more faithful and darker version than Mel Stuart's 1971 film.
Johnny Depp is deliciously off the wall as he turns Willy Wonka into a germaphobe, child-detesting dandy with a love for latex gloves and flashbacks but it's Freddie Highmore who really impresses in the title role with a natural and likeable performance.  It's a Burton film so expect some awkward moments that seem out of place and disjointed bridges into the next scene.  As dedicated to it's source material as the film is, it still has a problem pinpointing where it's heart is, amidst all the outrageously bizarre sets and musical moments.  Nevertheless, it's a fine film to please Burton, Depp and composer Danny Elfman fans with it's paint-by-numbers style the team have come to be known for.

3 bad nuts out of 5

Mean Machine (2001)

Vinnie Jones is in prison and has to try and fit in with a cast of clichéd stock types in a British remake of The Longest Yard (1974). American football is replaced with regular football, which made me cringe when I found out. I hate football.  Despite that, it's the first time I've ever enjoyed a match in my entire life. The film is nothing to write home about, but the last half is good fun.
Jason Statham has a small role with very little screen time but steals the show every time he bulls his way in. It’s worth watching to see him on the field.

2½ ex-footballer acting at acting as an ex-footballer out of 5