Flirting (1991)

It's 1965, and Danny is now a moody teenager stuck in an all-male boarding school across the lake from a female boarding school. He has his eyes on an exotic student, and as respective outcasts of their institutions, they form a bond while avoiding the all-seeing eye of the strict headmasters and other jealous students. This was the second film in John Duigan's planned The Year My Voice Broke trilogy based on his life, which sadly remains incomplete.

3½ canings out of 5

The Year My Voice Broke (1987)

Danny is an Aussie boy in love with his childhood friend Freya, but she's keen on his douchebag friend Trevor instead. Meh. I can still feel those same pangs of jealousy, clear as day. The unrequited yearning of never getting what you truly want. The ache and longing are part and parcel of growing up. This is a very good movie, but it always makes me sad for a long time afterward, which I guess means it's effective in its messaging. The pain of first love never goes away. Even as the memories distance themselves, it stays with you forever.

4½ telepathic messages out of 5

RED DOG [2011]

Kill Me Three Times director Kriv Stenders brings us Red Dog, a lovable true story about an even more lovable canine.
A legend for his lone travels through Western Australia's Pilbara region in the 70's, Red Dog finds himself adopted by a ragtag group of miner's in a broken down community that needs the love a dog to help bring them together again.
Sappy right?  Well, yeah.  And at times it's pretty far-fetched but it's brought to life with a huge heart that is hard to resist.  It's also pretty funny too but be warned prudish North Americans, it is Trans-Tasman humor which isn't always welcome at the dinner table.  I never forgave Marley & Me for what it inevitably did to my still-broken heart but this one is easier to love because it actually is a good movie unlike the former.

3½ Red Cats out of 5

THE WINDMILL MASSACRE [2016]

Director Nick Jongerius' international slasher flick The Windmill Massacre promises something uniquely inspired with it's set of characters different from the genre's norm.
Following a small group of tourists from all over the world, all of whom seem to be haunted by their pasts, the tale takes us into the back roads of Holland where they seek refuge in a old windmill that harbors secrets with a taste for intestines and sinful souls.
The first act is a nice little character's intro that spends just the right amount of time setting each of them up, which is a rarity in these types of films.  Sadly, it's quick to fall into cliché after cliché with minimal surprising twists which is such a disappointment considering what it might have been.

2 bloody clogs out of 5

EDGE OF TOMORROW [2014]

aka Live. Die. Repeat.

Based on Hiroshi Sakurazaka's sci-fi novel All You Need Is Kill, director Doug Liman's Edge Of Tomorrow feels like Starship Troopers trapped in the world of Groundhog Day (we all have to say it).
Tom Cruise gets caught in a time loop of the shittiest day during a war against an alien race that looks like gooey versions of The Matrix's sentinels on amphetamines.  As blow-em up, loud SFX razzle dazzle blockbusters go this one's pretty decent as it wears it's smarty pants well.  The normally delicate Emily Blunt is fantastically believable as the gruff one saving Cruise's life through the carnage while he panics and tries to hide.  It's like a video game with it's endless lives and with each turn the story is given a new purpose and theme to explore, never really allowing itself to actually become tiresome or dull.
Never taking itself very seriously at all, Edge Of Tomorrow is a great success that is simply a real hoot.

3½ Full Metal Bitches out of 5

THE DOUBLE [2013]

I was in film-nerd hog heaven with Richard Ayoade's sophomore effort, The Double, a modernized adaptation of Fyodor Dostoevsky's doppelgänger novella of the same name.
Engulfed in suffocating moody shadows and minimal color scheme, the film seems like it could very well be Jean-Pierre Jeunet's Eraserhead with it's wickedly dark oddball sense of humor and timing.  Jesse Eisenberg is superb as he bounces back between skittish and suave while maintaining a steady balance of menacing tragedy that the source material gives off.
It will remind many of the works of Welles, Gilliam, Lynch and more but it never comes off as a wannabe copy with it's imagination, wit and uniquely hilarious & disturbing aesthetic.

4 dead pigeons out of 5

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life (2003)

A second dose of continent-hopping nonsense offers up a sunken temple and ‘underwater level’ Lara for your arousal.
Between action scenes and a shallow love interest, Jolie manages to make Lara appear strong even when she’s in a vulnerable position, so kudos to her for that, but the rest of it sucks. Largely due to the fact that the villain is lame; Elmer Fudd on a sugar-rush would be more menacing.

1½ accessories out of 5

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001)

LC:TR is a typical summer actioner, but unlike some of the other video game adaptations it at least makes an effort to reference its origins: the Manor, exotic locations, jumps that require crucial timing, puzzle solving and gun-play are all reminiscent of the games that inspired it.
Angelina Jolie isn't a dead ringer for Lara but she’s not too far removed either. Moreover, it was made before her arms got worryingly thin, so she’s believable as an action star.
It would've made sense to cast a British actress to play a British role, but that kind of logic is perhaps too much to ask of the suits that front the money for this kind of thing.

2 halves of the triangle out of 5

CHARLIE & THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY [2005]

Tim Burton directs the 2nd adaptation of Roald Dahl's classic novel Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and in turn we get a more faithful and darker version than Mel Stuart's 1971 film.
Johnny Depp is deliciously off the wall as he turns Willy Wonka into a germaphobe, child-detesting dandy with a love for latex gloves and flashbacks but it's Freddie Highmore who really impresses in the title role with a natural and likeable performance.  It's a Burton film so expect some awkward moments that seem out of place and disjointed bridges into the next scene.  As dedicated to it's source material as the film is, it still has a problem pinpointing where it's heart is, amidst all the outrageously bizarre sets and musical moments.  Nevertheless, it's a fine film to please Burton, Depp and composer Danny Elfman fans with it's paint-by-numbers style the team have come to be known for.

3 bad nuts out of 5

RED WHITE & BLUE [2010]

Red White & Blue is a revenge/horror film from director Simon Rumley that is guaranteed to polarize audience reactions.
It's the American Dream turned into a grisly and depressing nightmare where there are no clear heroes or villains and you're never really sure who's getting revenge on who.  The first hour plays like a bleak slow-burning drama aiming to depress you, whereas the 2nd half turns into a horrific revenge film that completely baffles the viewer's morals and emotions.  I applaud Noah Taylor going against his usual charming & soft-spoken pip-pip roles and instead transforms himself into something twisted & quite frightening.
It's not a very nice film but with a uniquely structured narrative, wonderful performances and forcing the viewer to question themselves over & over I can't help but admire everything about it.

3½ stupid earrings out of 5

SUBMARINE [2010]

Submarine is a cynical coming-of-age British dramedy from first time feature length director Richard Ayoade based on the novel of the same name by Joe Dunthorne.
Ayoade's filmmaking is ripe with confidence and strong storytelling that never tries too hard to be smarter than it really is, which too many films in it's genre tend to do these days.  The performances from each actor involved help hold everything together when things get a bit dry and drawn-out.  All in all, it's a delightful little film that promises we'll be seeing more of Ayoade's work in the future.

3 awkward mixtapes from your dad out of 5